# Sex and baseball **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 28, 2007, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773 "2007-09-28T03:22:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/1 "2007-09-28T03:22:08Z")
I wasn’t sure whether to put this in GQ or elsewhere, but I figure there’s a factual answer out there somewhere, so … I feel a little bit embarrassed to be asking this question at my age. Seems I ought to know this, but I realized today that I have only a vague idea. What I’m looking for are the specific lines that demarcate whether a young gentleman has reached “first base”, “second base” or “third base” whilst entertaining a young lady. I need no enlightenment as to the meaning of “home run”, as I have circled the bases many times (though not in a very long time, alas – it seems my playing days are behind me). But all those times when I was left on base at the end of the inning … the official scorekeeper neglected to mark his scoresheet and I’m not sure how far I got. So help me out! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/2 "2007-09-28T03:31:05Z")
My understanding is that different people use different scoring systems. However, the system I remember from High School was… 1b = French Kissing. 2b = Feeling her up while making out. 3b = Getting her shirt off or at getting digit access to her bush. YMMV A good primer is listening to [Phil Rizzuto](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philadelphia_Phillies#.22Phold.22_of_1964) doing the play-by-play in Meatloaf’s song “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”. [Radio Broadcast:](http://www.qgm.com/meatloaf/lyrics/paradise.html) Ok, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here, two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth, there’s the wind-up and there it is, a line shot up the middle, look at him go. This boy can really fly! He’s rounding first and really turning it on now, he’s not letting up at all, he’s gonna try for second; the ball is bobbled out in center, and here comes the throw, and what a throw! He’s gonna slide in head first, here he comes, he’s out! No, wait, safe–safe at second base, this kid really makes things happen out there. … Jim ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/3 "2007-09-28T03:36:51Z")
As of 2003 (my high-school graduation date): 1st base: making out 2nd base: feeling up or other heavy petting 3rd base: oral sex Home: vaginal intercourse ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/4 "2007-09-28T03:46:50Z")
[QUOTE=threemae] As of 2003 (my high-school graduation date): 1st base: making out 2nd base: feeling up or other heavy petting 3rd base: oral sex Home: vaginal intercourse [/QUOTE] Well it is 20 year later than my high-school experience, but your triple was a Home Run in my day. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/5 "2007-09-28T04:55:00Z")
Back in high school, I was still a Mormon, so we didn’t do the bases! Still, our Mormon seminar classes on sex never talked about oral sex, so I would have assumed home was vaginal intercourse at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/6 "2007-09-28T04:55:22Z")
1st base - kissing 2nd base - petting above the waist 3rd base - petting below the waist Home run - intercourse ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/7 "2007-09-28T05:05:59Z")
On Deck - Having plans for a date Strike-Out - Duh!! Walk - Kissing Bunt - Masturbation Single - Tongue kissing Double - Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing and feels Triple - Most of the clothes off, genital contact, mutual masturbation Inside the park home run - Oral Sex Home Run - SEX! Ground Rule Double - would have sex, but no condom Error - Condom breaks during sex Banned for life for gambling - sex without condom Hall of Fame - Marriage Balk - Premature ejaculation Pine Tar - KY jelly Relief pitcher - Vibrator Rain Delay - parents/roommate return home unexpectedly Box Seats - Waterbed Seventh Inning Stretch - Unusual positions Rookie - Virgin Switch Hitter - Sex with her one night, and her brother the next. Minor Leagues - Under 18 Loaded Bases - manage a trois Grand Slam - Sex three times in twelve hours Foul tip - VD Three up and three down - impotency Now that we have the definitions, lets quickly contrast the old confusion with current clarity: OLD WAY - We, um got to third base, I guess and then we, um got like past third base, but not to home plate. I really like her… NEW WAY - First, there was a triple, then we got and inside the park home run, and started thinking, it’s Hall of Fame time! NEW WAY - So there I was with the bases loaded and nobody out, when I balked during the seventh inning stretch and i had to call in a relief pitcher. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/8 "2007-09-28T05:10:09Z")
[QUOTE=Gary T] 1st base - kissing 2nd base - petting above the waist 3rd base - petting below the waist Home run - intercourse [/QUOTE] Pretty sure this is the classic formula – it’s certainly the one I remember (H.S. '85). **silenus** , that’s hilarious. I look forward to reading the box scores. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/9 "2007-09-28T05:12:20Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] Well it is 20 year later than my high-school experience, but your triple was a Home Run in my day. 😉 [/QUOTE] In both baseball and relationships, it seems the triple is also the rarest of hits. ETA: Oops, should have quoted this: [QUOTE=silenus] Inside the park home run - Oral Sex [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/10 "2007-09-28T05:18:31Z")
[QUOTE=E. Thorp] Pretty sure this is the classic formula – it’s certainly the one I remember (H.S. '85). [/QUOTE] I was class of '84. Hmmm. So it sounds like I hit plenty of doubles, and quite a few triples, too. Thanks, all, for the definitions 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/11 "2007-09-28T05:21:10Z")
At my high school (Class of '04), it seems it was commonly understood that first base was a sensual kiss and third base was as follows: fingers/mouth are in direct contact with genitalia with the intent to get the other person off, not just a light rub to let them know you’re interested. Second base had a pretty, um, fuzzy meaning. But I think it was universally understood to mean at least an erotic case of Roman Hands, ie, you touch nipples etc. Where the exact line between first and second base lay, I’ve never been entirely sure. My “first base” kisses were pretty passionate then; I’m a little more cautious now. ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Pedant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/12 "2007-09-28T08:46:32Z")
[QUOTE=Phase42] …though not in a very long time, alas – it seems my playing days are behind me… [/QUOTE] If it’s lack of opportunity, get on it. If it’s just harder to stand up and pay attention, make sure you don’t just have an easily correctible chemical deficiency. You are a dadburn spring chicken…class of '84?!! Now **fetus** might be old enough to start talking about retiring…oh; wait a minute. That’s probably 2004… ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/13 "2007-09-28T13:43:39Z")
I remember the night I was hit by a pitch. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/14 "2007-09-28T16:33:24Z")
[QUOTE=Chief Pedant] Now **fetus** might be old enough to start talking about retiring…oh; wait a minute. That’s probably 2004… [/QUOTE] Yep, 2004. The first sentence there really caught me by surprise – needless to say, I never pictured my 21st birthday as the time to give up pussy. ETA: My birthday party is tonight, so hopefully I’ll get a chance to spring my chicken in 12 hours! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/15 "2007-09-28T17:04:08Z")
[QUOTE=Phase42] it seems my playing days are behind me [/QUOTE] Have you considered becoming a bench coach? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/16 "2007-09-28T17:28:12Z")
When i read the thread title, i thought the OP was going to be a question about why men think of baseball to prevent early emission. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/17 "2007-09-28T17:29:15Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Have you considered becoming a bench coach? [/QUOTE] Either that, or hitting the road to do some scouting! ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/18 "2007-09-28T18:21:52Z")
[QUOTE=Chief Pedant] If it’s lack of opportunity, get on it. If it’s just harder to stand up and pay attention, make sure you don’t just have an easily correctible chemical deficiency. You are a dadburn spring chicken…class of '84?!! [/QUOTE] Totally lack of opportunity. How’s the saying go (gotta keep up the baseball metaphors, ya’know)? \ "I’m hitting the ball hard, but always right at somebody. \ In other words, I’m at that unfortunate place where, when I meet a woman anywhere near my age who I find the least bit attractive, she’s married. I actually met an _older_ (47) woman the other night who I thought was smoking hot, so I ventured an “Are you married?” and got the reply, “My husband just died …” :smack: (“It’s a high foul popup to the third baseman”) And I’m _just_ old enough that I’m discovering when talking to women in their early 20s that I’m older than a lot of their dads (“And there’s a foul tip into the catcher’s glove for strike three”), so even if they don’t think I’m a perv for trying, they still don’t want to go there. The same night I met the 47-year-old, I met a cute 26-year-old who was friendly (and who said she thought I looked about 34), but she was accompanied by her brother and his girlfriend, and I find it awkward to actually hit on a woman with her brother sitting right there glaring at me from across the table (not to mention she was their designated driver, so she wouldn’t be going home with me anyway). I also had enough scotch in me by that point that I figured I was just going to make a complete fool of myself if I pushed too hard, so I left it at “friendly conversation”. (Don’t worry, I wasn’t driving - I was on foot, and drinking at a bar only three blocks from my house.) _sigh_ Maybe I’ll get laid again some time before I’m 50 … ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/19 "2007-09-28T18:50:57Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] I remember the night I was hit by a pitch. [/QUOTE] Hell, I used to hold my head in the strike zone. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773/20 "2007-09-28T18:53:09Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Lendervedder] Hell, I used to hold my head in the strike zone. [/QUOTE] heh. I heard you were a switch hitter! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-baseball/420773.md?page=2)