# Sex and the City. He was too big? This ever happen? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379 "2003-07-14T14:25:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/1 "2003-07-14T14:25:40Z")
A few episodes back, [Samantha](http://www.hbo.com/city/cast/character/samantha_jones.shtml) Jones, played by Kim Cattrall, encountered a lover that was afraid to make love to her at first because he thought he was too big for her. She eventually talked him into the act only to find that he _was_ too big for her. She was uncomfortable, and if memory serves, the session came to an early end. Female dopers- has this ever hapened to you, and how did you handle it? Or how _would_ you handle it? ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/2 "2003-07-14T14:32:31Z")
Happened to me. I didn’t say anything, just gritted my teeth. The was the first and last time we did the deed. ---
**Author:** ![karomon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/3 "2003-07-14T14:59:35Z")
This is _constantly_ happening to my best friend. He keeps going out with little Asian virgins, so that might be a part of it. ---
**Author:** ![brainfizz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/da6949/32.png) [@brainfizz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainfizz)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/4 "2003-07-14T15:39:05Z")
Umm… I’ve had this problem with a few girlfriends, although one or two have been more… accommodating. I’ve found that the first time will be very very uncomfortable for them, and they’ll get sore very quickly, but the more often you do it, the more the lady will stretch to fit. If you suffer from this curse in disguise, or your partner does, I’m sure you’ve realized the benefits of lubrication, two sizes too small condoms, and, weirdly, anal sex. Yes, you heard right, anal sex with an overly equipped man doesn’t hurt as much as vaginal sex, so if you really think he’s going to be too big for you, then suggest the alternative approach. Guys, always, always, always go down on a girl first if you’re huge down there. It makes her more lubricated and more accepting of any large gifts that you may give her. If she’s still afraid, use toys and whatever. Find a toy slightly smaller than you are, and one smaller than that, and kind of upgrade. Virgins can be a problem. Actually that’s an understatement, they can be nightmare. I’ve broken in one virgin, but it took four months of constant trying - finally resorting to amyl nitrate and lots of lube. It’s not all that much fun being well hung, especially since erect size is not proportional to flaccid size, so most of us don’t look like we’ve got much down there until you’ve got us into bed anyway, so we can’t even show off in the locker room - just boast on messageboards and with gf’s and ex’s! Fair enough, once a girl’s grown used to your size she’ll never know pleasure like you can give her: if a guy’s big enough to hurt he’s probably got about 3 times more surface area to please a woman than your average 6 incher. But all in all, it’s usually more hassle than it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/5 "2003-07-14T15:39:19Z")
One of my girlfriends ended up with a bruised cervix. Yes, it happens. She and her boyfriend “adapted” to not go as deep. The relationship only lasted a few months. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/6 "2003-07-14T15:43:33Z")
I’ve gone out with women who had size compatibility issues. The relationships tended not to last long… ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/7 "2003-07-14T15:52:49Z")
More hassle than it was worth pretty much sums it up. It always went back to hurting if we took a “break” for even a relatively short amount of time (5 days, say). totally disagree with this statement: “Once a girl’s grown used to your size she’ll never know pleasure like you can give her.” After several years of seeing this person, it still hurt to some extent almost every time, and I think I developed an antipathy towards sex that I don’t think I’m really over. BTW, he was not even that huge, just the high side of average. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/8 "2003-07-14T15:52:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dangerosa \* > One of my girlfriends ended up with a bruised cervix. Yes, it happens. Happened to me once as well. My gyn assumed I was into rough sex, and basically asked as much outright. :mad: I had to explain that no, it was an issue of size + bad position. Like **brainfizz** said, it can take some time to get used to. ---
**Author:** ![brainfizz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/da6949/32.png) [@brainfizz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainfizz)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/9 "2003-07-14T16:04:13Z")
Umm… prolly TMI… Scary sex moments #12 : Merrily grinding away when gf gets shocked look on her face and says, “Stop! Stop!”. You look down and see a pool of blood forming. Not good. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/10 "2003-07-14T17:15:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \* > \*\*Happened to me once as well. My gyn assumed I was into rough sex, and basically asked as much outright. :mad: I had to explain that no, it was an issue of size + bad position. > > Like **brainfizz** said, it can take some time to get used to. \*\* I sympathize. One of my ex`s was seeing the Gyno on a regular basis for this too. The Gyno told her that it wasn`t because of me, rather it was _how_ we were doing it. Although she never had the “problem” with any other of her boyfriends. Also, due to early fatigue, oral sex never seemed to last very long with past partners. I never really put two and two together until I was with one particular SO who assured me that I was larger than her past lovers. This combined with the Sex and the City episode is what finally propelled me to start this thread. Not to brag, (because it hasn`t been like that), but to see if this can and does really happen to others. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/11 "2003-07-14T17:20:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dangerosa \* > \*\*One of my girlfriends ended up with a bruised cervix. Yes, it happens. > > She and her boyfriend “adapted” to not go as deep. The relationship only lasted a few months. \*\* We called that “bottoming out”. It happened it certain positions and caused her to pull back. She learned to keep her hands on my hips to let me know if it hurt (she would push away if it got painful). ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/12 "2003-07-14T18:00:26Z")
Yeah, it happens. My ex and I were only able to enjoy one position-- all the others hurt me like crazy. I think if either of us had been more experienced, we would have figured out other methods for enjoying ourselves, but we weren’t, so we didn’t. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![malaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@malaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malaka)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/13 "2003-07-14T18:08:14Z")
Long, long ago, I worked/partyed with a girl who would sometimes sleep around. We were good friends and told each other everything. One Monday morning, I see her giggling with another female office worker. I approach and ask what they were laughing about. No luck. Anyway, after MUCH persuading, she finally broke down. She went to her white board and drew a line (about 10 inches long) and a circle (about 2-3 inches in diameter. It took me several minutes to figure out what she was giving me dimensions to. She described it as 2 pop cans end to end. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/14 "2003-07-15T00:24:56Z")
Yes. Quite a while ago. But he was aware of the…problem, for lack of a better word, was very gentle, and took his time about things. One of the most considerate lovers I’ve ever had. I went through a lot of Motrin 😃 . Had I not moved to go to school elsewhere… ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/15 "2003-07-15T01:30:50Z")
Had the same unpleasant experience **brainfizz** describes, one of the first times I had sex. It was with an older lady, who smoked and was on the pill. Her gyno told her that those factors combined to make the cervix very sensitive to a ‘larger male’ hitting against it. Once you learn to control it though, it’s not difficult to deal with. You tend to stick to positions that make it easy for her to control things. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/16 "2003-07-15T02:09:32Z")
Bottoming out sucks, but it can happen even with the regularly endowed, depending on position. I had one ex that was horribly huge, it’s very limiting to constantly have to adjust positions. After a certain subjective point, what can you do? You can’t s\*\*\* it, you can’t f\*\*\* it, all you can do is stand back and applaud. **Brainfizz** what in blue hell makes you think anal is better?! Are you just quantifying pain? There is no way on earth I’d go there with a SO that was significantly above average! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/17 "2003-07-15T02:14:44Z")
Yup! Way uncomfortable, bordering on painful, NOT pleasant AT all. Guys??? If you ever feel inadequate? TRUST me, as at least ONE woman to whom size DOES matter, there IS such a thing as too big. IMHO? A nice average guy is PERFECT (provided he’s skillful where it counts!!! :D) ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/18 "2003-07-15T02:37:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hello Again \* > \*\*More hassle than it was worth pretty much sums it up. It always went back to hurting if we took a “break” for even a relatively short amount of time (5 days, say). > > totally disagree with this statement: > “Once a girl’s grown used to your size she’ll never know pleasure like you can give her.” > \*\* Totally agree with your disagreement of that statement. For one thing, only 25% of females are able to climax with intercourse, most need other stimulation (from Masters and Johnson, and other more recent “How to” etc sex manuals, such as Barara DeAngelis’). And even if they ARE able to climax during intercourse the clitoris is on the OUTSIDE!! HELLO??? It’s how the man moves that gets her off, NOT how big he is. Even for g-spot stimulation, it’s the angle, NOT the size. Men who are overly endowed can also be talented in pleasing a woman, but it has little to do with how big they are. Pat yourself on the back much? ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/19 "2003-07-15T02:55:26Z")
Had more problems with thick than long, but readiness is all and since we got married, even that’s not a problem----I call it my defense mechanism! ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379/20 "2003-07-15T05:00:58Z")
Great … yet another thread where well-hung guys can brag about their oversized appendages. (Looks down at his statistically average thingamabob, and cries …) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-and-the-city-he-was-too-big-this-ever-happen/188379.md?page=2)