# Sex: Icky Question (TMI)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 25, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579 "2005-01-25T13:46:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/1 "2005-01-25T13:46:50Z")
The principle drawback to sex, for me at any rate, is semen. I’m probably overly self-conscious about it. As the delivery boy it’s not something that’s all that inconvenient for me, but the reciepient of my essence has to deal with it. Either as it drains over the course of the next hour or so, or should I make a “curbside delivery” as an icky but quickly cleaned up mess…that leaves a residue.
Folks, I find even my own stuff revolting, but what’s a fellah to do? Those of you who are in the position of dealing with someone else’s semen: what’s your take on al this? Gross/inconvenient to the point of getting in the way of having sex at all? No big deal? Bring it on by the bucketful, I’m making soup out of it?
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### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/2 "2005-01-25T13:53:07Z")
Wear a condom if it bothers you that much.
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/3 "2005-01-25T13:56:44Z")
[Karezza](https://ssl.opendoor.com/whitecloudpress/riverwood/books/art-of-karezza.html) dude.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/4 "2005-01-25T14:06:58Z")
> [@don't ask](#):
>
> [Karezza](https://ssl.opendoor.com/whitecloudpress/riverwood/books/art-of-karezza.html) dude.
“…this is possible because orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes.”
Really? Any scientific evidence for that?
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### Author:  [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/5 "2005-01-25T14:13:43Z")
Avoid the bukkake porn sites.
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/6 "2005-01-25T14:20:37Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> “…this is possible because orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes.”
>
> Really? Any scientific evidence for that?
Try google it is a very old tradition.
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### Author:  [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/7 "2005-01-25T14:49:58Z")
Half the fun is the clean-up shower afterwards.
Or in the alternative, especially if either you or your partner is non-monogamous, wear a condom.
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/8 "2005-01-25T14:58:28Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> “…this is possible because orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes.”
>
> Really? Any scientific evidence for that?
You might know it better by it’s Eastern tradtion: Tantra.
Male orgasm without ejaculation (as well as very long - hours long - orgasms are part of a much larger system of study known as Tantra. It’s also, for obvious reasons, the only portion of the study we really hear much about.
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### Author:  [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/9 "2005-01-25T15:20:55Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> Those of you who are in the position of dealing with someone else’s semen: what’s your take on al this? Gross/inconvenient to the point of getting in the way of having sex at all? No big deal? Bring it on by the bucketful, I’m making soup out of it?
Well…first of all I think it’s a little like saliva. Swapping spit is pretty erotic. Your lover’s spit on the ground is prety disgusting. Even if you love him. Matter of timing. And proximaty.
Likewise, your lover’s semen is very erotic (IMHO). All the more so if it’s an erotic reaction to what you’re doing to him…who doesn’t like that :D?
Ok, this is me , but i find my lover coming in my mouth (for example) an unbelievably erotic experience. Not because i have a thing for semen, because of the circumstance.
Yeah, it’s gross objectively. But I guess me point here is that when your having sex you’re not objective (kind of the whole point :\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>)
And i guess my other whole point is don’t worry about it so much. And…i’m afraid…that old caveate…IF YOU’RE WORRIED, ASK YOUR PARTNER HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT IT!!!
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/10 "2005-01-25T15:26:22Z")
> [@WhyNot](#):
>
> You might know it better by it’s Eastern tradtion: Tantra.
>
> Male orgasm without ejaculation (as well as very long - hours long - orgasms are part of a much larger system of study known as Tantra. It’s also, for obvious reasons, the only portion of the study we really hear much about.
It’s not that I haven’t heard about it, I just thought it might be something akin to homeopathy or levitating.
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/11 "2005-01-25T15:37:18Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> It’s not that I haven’t heard about it, I just thought it might be something akin to homeopathy or levitating.
Nope, it’s real. But I wouldn’t rely on it for birth control or anything. One of my goddaughters is a “Tantric Whoops!” :eek:
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/12 "2005-01-25T15:54:36Z")
What’s the big deal? I love him, don’t I, what’s a little exchange of bodily fluids?
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/13 "2005-01-25T16:40:09Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#):
>
> Wear a condom if it bothers you that much.
I’d sooner forego my orgasm, even if it meant total abstinence.
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### Author:  [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/14 "2005-01-25T16:52:32Z")
To be honest, I have an aversion to it. I almost always use condoms and almost always have. I was lucky that my first long relationship was with someone who liked condoms too, and then my second long relationship was with someone who was willing to use them almost all the time. When we didn’t use condoms we used a combination sponge/time of the month/withdrawl. When I was in my teens I didn’t like to swallow it either until I fell in _looooove_ for the first time. That I don’t mind, but I still can’t get used to the idea of having anything like that anywhere near the holiest of holies. On the other hand, the good news is I have never had an unwanted pregnancy! If you think about it, there are lots of things you can tolerate in your mouth that you wouldn’t want in your vagina. Mayonayse is another good example. Rice. Lots and lots of things. Plus when it goes down the gullet it doesn’t drip back out again later. It’s gone for good. I know it’s a stretch of logic. Maybe it’s a phobia. Maybe it has to do with my intense fear of accidentally getting pregnant when I was younger, or maybe it is because of negative sexual experiences in my formative years. I just don’t know. But I use condoms. I don’t love that stuff.
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### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/15 "2005-01-25T16:59:11Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> I’d sooner forego my orgasm, even if it meant total abstinence.
Really?
Why? (I was gonna say ‘How come?’ but that was way too much like a bad pun.) There are good “natural membrane” condoms which - while not optimal for preventing pregnancies or STDs - will bag up your jizz quite nicely with very little loss of sensation.
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### Author:  [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/16 "2005-01-25T18:14:37Z")
I’ve had all sorts of different reactions from differente GFs. Most aren’t too keen in swalloming… one was especially keen in fact. None were grossed out by it though. I think women can feel quite comfortable with all sorts of stuff if they are in love… 😉
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/17 "2005-01-25T18:33:36Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> I’d sooner forego my orgasm, even if it meant total abstinence.
Must.Bite.Tongue…Must.Not.Lecture.Grown.Man.On.Safer.Sex.
But really, **Inigo**! Those polyurathane condoms? Neither you nor she can tell. They’re not like in the old days. 11 jillion times thinner and they attain body temperature basically instantly. And yes, I also have sex without a condom, but only with my husband, so I \*do \*know the difference. Led to many a panicked moment the first time I used one:
“Are you sure it’s on? I can’t feel it. Did it break?”
“I don’t know - it feels too good!”
“Ohmigod! Get off me! Check it! Check it!” Pause.
“It’s OK. It’s fine.”
“Really?”
“Really, check it out.”
“Huh. OK, c’mere.”
“Ohimigod! It’s not there!It must have broken! I can’t feel it!”
And repeat.
They’re more expensive than latex condoms, but much, much cheaper than child support or AZT.
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/18 "2005-01-25T18:52:25Z")
> [@WhyNot](#):
>
> Must.Bite.Tongue…Must.Not.Lecture.Grown.Man.On.Safer.Sex.
heh…I’ve been fixed. And I’m picky. And it looks like I’m gonna stay married/monogamous. This time. Polyurethane condoms, eh? Brand name? (Band name?)
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/19 "2005-01-25T19:06:42Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> heh…I’ve been fixed. And I’m picky. And it looks like I’m gonna stay married/monogamous. This time. Polyurethane condoms, eh? Brand name? (Band name?)
[Durex Avanti](http://www.durex.com/US/productRange.asp?intProdCat=397&intMenuOpen=5&intProd=877)
[Trojan Supra](http://www.trojancondoms.com/product_info/TrojanSelector/index.asp)
(links are to the manufacturers’ websites, not naughty sex shops, so fairly safe for work.)
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### Author:  [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-icky-question-tmi/286579/20 "2005-01-25T20:08:11Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> Folks, I find even my own stuff revolting, but what’s a fellah to do? Those of you who are in the position of dealing with someone else’s semen: what’s your take on al this? Gross/inconvenient to the point of getting in the way of having sex at all? No big deal? Bring it on by the bucketful, I’m making soup out of it?
I’d prefer to have my husband’s semen inside me than on me. For some reason, the thought of semen cooling on my leg skeeves me out more than it dribbling out of me. Still, my husband’s jizz has never gotten in the way of our sex life, though it might make me run for the bathroom faster. It might not be the most pleasant part of sex, but sex wouldn’t be as much fun if there weren’t _some_ juice involved. 😃
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