# Sex: Lights on or Off? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 9, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851 "2003-02-09T07:34:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/1 "2003-02-09T07:34:39Z")
I prefer having sex with the lights on. I only have sex with people that I want to look at, and I intensely enjoy finding every wrinkle, mole, curve, scar etc… that is on their body. I know lot’s of people like it with the lights off, and others wouldn’t even think of doing it with the lights on. What’s your preference and why? Erek ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/2 "2003-02-09T07:37:11Z")
My preference is on. I’m not fanatical about it, though. I like to see my partner, it increases my enjoyment and helps with finding and following cues. ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/3 "2003-02-09T07:50:22Z")
Lights on. I like to see the look on his face, at the very least - I also enjoy seeing what I’m doing. Having this the norm does make a blackened room a bit of a treat, though 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/4 "2003-02-09T10:21:05Z")
Depends on who I’m doing. I mostly go for the dimly light room. i.e. candles or something of that nature. ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/5 "2003-02-09T10:54:11Z")
I’m with **SHAKES**. Dimly lit is ideal imo. Enough light that no one loses an eye, but not enough to reveal my flaws. Plus, there’s something very sensual about the flickering candle light and the dancing shadows. ---
**Author:** ![Tourian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Tourian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tourian)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/6 "2003-02-09T11:24:48Z")
Lights on! Unfortunately, 75% of the women I’ve been with have preferred lights off! Why?? They were all hot and had nothing to be ashamed about. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/7 "2003-02-09T11:34:02Z")
TV light! Just make sure there’s not something distracting on (as if).😃 ---
**Author:** ![Birds\_On\_A\_Bat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@Birds\_On\_A\_Bat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birds_On_A_Bat)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/8 "2003-02-09T12:45:11Z")
Lights on, lights off, it doesn’t matter. I’d be happy just having sex. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by An Arky \* > \*\*TV light! Just make sure there’s not something distracting on (as if).😃 \*\* I once got busted watching ST:TNG while in the middle of sex. The aftermath was not pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Ooner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@Ooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ooner)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/9 "2003-02-09T13:41:48Z")
Distracting TV? Never… I had sex for the first time with one guy with Resident Evil playing in the background… nothing says romance like zombie chomping sounds over sex. As far as the lights go, I’ll throw in another vote for lights on or dim, gotta see what you’re doing… and even with lights on, my self-consciousness melts away when I realize that someone is RIGHT THERE WILLING TO SLEEP WITH ME. Does wonders for the self-image. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/10 "2003-02-09T14:26:51Z")
If we’ve already turned out the lights, then decide to have sex, then lights out. Sometimes, morning or afternoon opportunities present themselves, then the room is light. Fine either way. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Tourian_ > They were all hot and had nothing to be ashamed about. Weird. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a woman who thought she had nothing to be ashamed of. Sad but true. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/11 "2003-02-09T14:28:47Z")
Lights on. Can’t see the magazine otherwise… ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/12 "2003-02-09T14:52:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tourian \* > \*\*Unfortunately, 75% of the women I’ve been with have preferred lights off! Why?? They were all hot and had nothing to be ashamed about. Weird. \*\* Yes, I’m sure they were all fashion models.😃 If the lights are already out, they usually stay off. If they’re on, they stay on. hrh ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/13 "2003-02-09T15:24:40Z")
Daytime lovin’ provides all the light needed. At night, tellie might be on, but if lights are off, eh no bother. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/14 "2003-02-09T15:39:33Z")
Another vote for candle light. It is flattering and adds to the atmosphere, especially if the candles are lightly scented. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/15 "2003-02-09T16:24:34Z")
Dimmed. Or, as the GF and I do it now, with the main lights to my room off, and the closet light. on. It’s not a real closet, but…well…my room layout is weird, cause the bed and closet are built into the rom, jtting our from the wall. SO the length the bed doesn’t cover by itself is then taken up by a closet with a curtain for a door. SO that light on, a light whose switch is right above my bed, is perfect. Easy to reach, and provides a nice amount of light. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/16 "2003-02-09T16:36:17Z")
Sometimes if the lights were left on they stayed on, sometimes they went off partway through the proceedings. If things started in the dark they stayed that way. The light during the day was not a problem. Mmm, Saturday afternoon lovin’…that was seriously good. Hopefully I will get to experience all of these again. It’s only been a month and a half, anyway…_sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/17 "2003-02-09T16:42:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Venoma \* > \*\*Lights on. I like to see the look on his face, at the very least - I also enjoy seeing what I’m doing. > > Having this the norm does make a blackened room a bit of a treat, though 🙂 \*\* Second that. I like to see what I’m doing, and be able to look in his eyes. But once in a while, being in the dark and doing everything by touch can be a cool experience. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/18 "2003-02-09T16:45:53Z")
I like it when everything in the room is not too bright. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/19 "2003-02-09T18:36:24Z")
another vote for candles. I like scented candles anyway so as long as it’s at my place, there’s no lack of candles. ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851/20 "2003-02-10T01:24:21Z")
Definitely lights on. But yeh, dimly lit - a bedside table is good, whereas the main bedroom light is bad. I hate to have to admit this, but if I’m shagging late at night, having the light on is good because it reduces the chances of my getting sleepy and feeling the need to nod off! :o I’m not big on visual “stimulation” as such, but I like to see what I’m doing! 😃 Max 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-lights-on-or-off/153851.md?page=2)