Paging Loach:
Here’s a recent story which seems to suggest otherwise.
Berkeley man, 73, charged with masturbating while watching girl, 8
So it sounds like causing a child to see lewdness counts as “assault” under the law. Which would mean that the guy I knew could have done no more than flashing, as I thought at the time.
–cough–Roman Polanski–cough–
When the case is heard again, do you mean that the person is re-tried for the original offense that put them on the list, or do you mean that the person will be evaluated for present dangerousness and all that? “He’s reduced his perviness by 43.2%, take him off!”
I’m not sure how Roman Polanski is related to what I wrote.
This bears repeating, especially since I gather that Loach is a law enforcement person? Just because the age of consent is technically under 18 in your state, doesn’t make it legally OK in ever case. I have a friend who spent some time in jail on a drug possession charge last year and she met a guy there who was in jail for statutory rape- he had sex with a second cousin or something who was 17, the age of consent in this state. In spite of the fact that she was legal age to consent, because he was a family member the statutory rape law applied and he was sent to jail.
It is not a trial. It is an administrative hearing in front of a judge. So basically yeah, they decide if his perv level has gone down. Or I guess more accurately that he has shown over so many years that he is unlikely to re-offend.
Your definition of flashing and mine are different. And the law’s definition too. Flashing is exposing yourself. The masturbation makes it a worse offense.
In the case quoted exposing yourself to a child under 13 raises the lewdness charge from a disorderly persons offense (misdemeanor in other states) to a 4th degree crime (low level felony).
Masturbating in front of a minor also falls under the endangering statute.
I’ll try to explain the sexual assault part. In general the New Jersey sexual assault statutes bumps up the level of each crime by one level when the victim is under 13.
The statute for Criminal Sexual Contact states: “intentional touching by the victim or actor, either directly or through clothing, of the victim’s or actor’s intimate parts for the purpose of degrading or humiliating the victim or sexually arousing or sexually gratifying the actor”. So masturbating in front of someone (that doesn’t want you to) is considered Criminal Sexual Contact.
Further the statute for Sexual Assault states: “An actor is guilty of sexual assault if he commits an act of sexual contact with a victim who is less than 13 years old and the actor is at least 4 years older than the victim.” So the bump up is because of the age of the victim.
The disconnect between your old post and mine is your definition of “flashing.” If it is just exposing yourself it will only fall under the lewdness statute which is relatively minor. So basically your friend jerked off in front of preteens at the very least.
I know in NJ the statute specifically states that the relationship has to be by blood or affinity to the third degree. I don’t know what the laws are in each state but I would assume that most or all will have a specific level in which it is legal. In other words second cousins are a go.
I appreciate your response. But that said, what you write seems to contradict the linked article. Per the article, the guy was charged with assault in the first incident in which he apparently did not masturbate, but just exposed himself in a store.
[On another note, what you mean my “friend”? I said he was a guy who I did not know especially well but had been in the same school as me.]
I can’t say for sure from the quotes in the article. NJ.com is very bad at digging for details*. All I can say is that if they were able to get a judge to approve a warrant for sexual assault then they were able to show that it fell under the Criminal Sexual Contact statute with the increase to the more serious charge because of the age of the victim. If you follow the links back to the original stories of the first incident it states that he was close enough to the victim to be “inside her personal space” and that his genitals were in his hand. So it went beyond just flashing. Whether or not the case for that charge is strong enough for a conviction is to be seen.
I apologize for saying “friend.” Insert “acquaintance” or “some dude I knew” instead.
I think those registries hurt the people around them even more.
I mean lets say your neighbor has their brother living with them and it shows up on the registry. That just makes it harder to sell your house.
And thing is those people have to live - somewhere. And politicians have these zones around schools where they cant live leading to areas with lots of them.
I say yes, have the police keep close tabs on them but dont make it generally known.
You have a five year old who wants to play outside. Knowing a sex offender is living next door is valuable information that might affect your decision making.
Why don’t we have registries for other crimes? I agree with you that I would like to know that information, but I would also like to know if my neighbor has been convicted of petty theft or some such thing so I don’t loan him my rake or if he has been convicted of burglary so I don’t tell him where I hide the spare key.
Also, if the neighbor was a 28 year old who had sex with a 15 year old, should you worry about your five year old kid?
In Pennsylvania we can access court records, and yeah, when I lived next door to a woman who had four shoplifting convictions and a DUI charge I knew about it.
The 28 year old who liked youngsters? Yeah, I wouldn’t want my five year old around him/her, nor would I want to be around him/her.
I joined this board so i could post this, and by posting it, some mod will read it and likely kick me out and delete the post, but here goes nothing.
i’m a 32 year old sex offender. I was charged and convicted at age 19. I served 5 years in jail/prison. and about 2.5 years on probation (got released from that early, actually). I’m required to register every 90 days, which means going down to the DMV, waiting in line, filling out the same paperwork, getting a photo taken, and paying $11. I’m required to do this for the next 25 years in my state.
Registry laws vary by state. Some make you register for life. Others make you register for a number of years based on individual offenses. Some require you to register every 90 days. some 6 months or a year. it all varies.
Restrictions also vary by state, but generally speaking, Sex offenders cannot live within a certain proximity to a school/daycare/playground, etc. for me, it’s about half a mile. I’m also not allowed to be within 500 feet of any of those places on a day to day basis (however there are exceptions). I cannot go to state or public parks without first getting permission from the local sheriff dept. These are the big ones, but there are others. Some states require offenders to disclose their status to a wide variety of people. Louisiana makes them mail out post card with their picture on it to everyone in the neighborhood. Some states require you to disclose it to a landlord to bosses and/or the public depending on your job. Like if you work at a music shop and teach guitar lessons, there is supposed to be a posted notification saying “A sex offender teaches guitar here.”
For offenders with kids in school, if they need to visit the school for a parent/teacher conference or something like that, there are also work arounds. like they’re always to be accompanied by a school official. they have to wear a special badge or something. or it has to be done after hours. I doubt very seriously an offender could go see his/her kid’s school play or would want to deal with the humiliation of doing so if it were possible. Personally, i don’t have any first hand experience with this just yet. But I am married and I have a kid.
Fun story, my offense was over 10 years ago. And I’ve never reoffened. I’ve also had a lot of therapy and 12 step meetings and shit. and all that. And when my daughter was born, idk how, but the social workers at the hospital or something googled me, and then intervened to ask me and my wife questions. It was pretty invasive, a little offensive the way they handled it actually. But they didn’t try to take away my kid or anything. But then again, there’s a lot of evidence to show i’m “reformed,” so i guess they weren’t too worried.
as for getting a job…
Well it’s very difficult to get and MAINTAIN a job. No matter what the sex charge is. No matter how severe or petty. They all pretty much get lumped together. Big companies like AT&T or Home Depot generally have over-arching policies that do not allow them to hire any sex offender whatsoever. They don’t want to get a bad reputation basically. I’ve been to many interviews where I was straight forward about my crime, and they interviewer liked me and wanted to hire me but his/her bosses said he couldn’t. In fact, anytime I was honest about it, I didn’t get the job except for one exception (will be discussed later. keep reading). I’ve also been to interviews where I just wasn’t asked, so i kept it to myself, and those are the places that hired me.
This raises a new set of problems. Most often, my boss eventually found out. Some bosses decided they didn’t care because I was a good employee. Other bosses came to me and didn’t fire me for “lying” because I didn’t lie, but they did tell me that their bosses wouldn’t allow them to keep me on staff because this was “a family complany.” (To which I said, “well I have a family.”) Literally had a boss fire me with tears in her eyes cause she loved me and thought I was great, but her bosses were making me do it. She relapsed on drugs a month or 2 later, and I like to think the 2 are connected. But who really knows?
Most of my jobs have been in the restaurant world. I was a professional bartender in a fine dining place for over 2 years. I made over 40 grand a year. Which may not sound like a lot to you, but it’s a lot for someone like me in my position. I finished high school (with honors), and I went to college, but in college is when I was charged. So i only finished about 2.5 years before i had to drop out to go to prison. People ask why I don’t go back, and I explain that having a degree wouldn’t necessarily give ME an advantage. My field of study was English, and no one is going to hire a professor who was a sex offender. To go back means I would need to change majors to something like welding or maybe engineering or carpentry. I’m not above doing that, and actually, I would like to go to welding or carpentry school; however, college costs money and time. Time that I could spend making money. And it is hard to find a job, so I usually have to work full time to break even, and wouldn’t have much time to go to school. Or I would have to work part time, and in which case, I wouldn’t make enough money.
Not to mention, I have ADHD and Bipolar disorder, so the anxiety of going back to school is… well huge. And NO, I don’t have and can’t afford healthcare to get my necessary meds and see a therapist.
The trucking industry hires sex offenders a lot. Not all trucking companies. Probably only like 10 or 20 percent. (I’m just guessing at that number.) So I went and found a paid apprenticeship program and got my CDL and became a truck driver for a few months. The company hired me knowing full well of my background. Then, someone hit me and I got blamed on a technicality and they let me go. That was last year. After that, I worked for a family business not making enough money and struggling. Then, COVID hit and put the store out of business, so I was left unemployed. I was paid under the table, so I couldn’t get any unemployment either. In retrospect, a mistake on my part. Now, I’m still unemployed, and I am looking for a job. I’ve been offered a position in a restaurant that didn’t ask questions and doesn’t pay very well. I actually turned it down because it’s the kinda place that would fire me if they found out, and it was 2 hours away from where I live. That’s another thing: I’ve had more luck with jobs that required me to commute about 60 miles one way. That’s why I bought a Prius. Currently, I’m looking for trucking jobs. They pay enough to support my family, and if i can find the right company, I won’t have to hide my past. But I haven’t had any luck yet.
As a family, we have been on foodstamps multiple times because even though we were working, we couldn’t find good enough jobs. Ironically, my wife has a bachelors degree, and in most positions, I still made about double what she does. Just proves the whole “men-make-more-than-women” thing that people talk about. We had to rent a house at first, and that was next to impossible to find. In fact, we ended up renting my parents house from them, and they moved out and rented an apartment. So, technically, we rented them an apartment (which was way nicer than their house). In other instances, we found places to rent, but they weren’t pretty shitty houses in bad neighborhoods. A lot of the nice rental places run background checks on tenants, so that almost always disqualifies me. Most apartment complexes I’ve looked into won’t even rent to felons, much less sex offenders. We own our home right now. It is VERY MODEST. it is also located in a rural area. Which can make some things more challenging, but it’s not so bad. However, the city we live in is small–only about 10,000 people. And job opportunities are scarce. Especially for someone like me. So we are trying to find employment and move to a larger city. Which will mean finding a place to rent at least at first, which will prove a challenge.
The sad reality is, it’s almost impossible for a sex offender to actually abide by all the restrictions put on him. If my wife is running late for work, it is against the law for me to drop my kid off at daycare, but I’ve had to do it a few times. We try to avoid things like this. I used to run and kayak for my health (I really need to start back.) , and I would do this at state and public parks, and no, I did not alert the sheriffs dept every time (some 2-4 times a week). I just went. Did what I was there to do. Minded my business. And didn’t rape anyone. Once, we moved to a place we thought was fine/legal. And we lived there for months, happily. Even though it was a little run down and on the bad side of town. Then, after a few months, I discovered a daycare within walking distance. Technically, we should have moved. But we didn’t. We stayed there for a year and just prayed we wouldn’t get caught.
When I was in trucking school, I was living out of state in a hotel that was paid for by my company. Technically, I’m not supposed to stay away from home for more than 3 sequential nights without alerting law enforcement both here AND there. But in my experience, if i had done so, I would have been told I couldn’t leave for that long, and then not been able to go to trucking school, and not been able to get a job. See how the problems compound?
The current system is not designed to protect people; it is designed to systematically eradicate sex offenders. Ideally, they’ll all fail to comply with the impossible regulations, get locked up again and die off.
I have another friend who is a sex offender, and I’ve known a couple others. Several were older and on disability. Others work in construction or restaurants. I knew one guy who was my sponsor in a 12 step program, who hadn’t reoffended and was some 20 or 30 years past his conviction. He had a PhD, but he managed a small town donut shop. He looked other careers in his specialized field, but even with years of experience, no one would give him the time of day.
What did I do?
Possession of Child Pornography. It started when I was a child. I was 12 looking at naked 12 year olds. At the time, it seemed very natural. As I grew up, it was just a part of things I found sexually attractive. I knew even at a young age I had a problem–a pornography addiction and eventually what would be described by some as “pedophilia,” but I also knew how persecuted people with sexual dysfunctions were. So, by age 14 or 15, I DEFINITELY wanted help, but felt there was no one I could ask. When I finally did get caught and the truth was forced to come out, I sought help almost immediately.
At age 17, I had a boyfriend who was 15. He was consenting. And we kept it a big secret (in the south, in the bible belt where to be gay was anathema). When I was 19, he was 16. So, I suppose there was some underage touch there, but was it wrong or immoral or a crime? I’ll let you decide that on your own. I wasn’t charged with it even when the cops found out about it. i was charged with having photos of random guys I met on the internet in chatrooms. Guys I never touched. And I talked to the guy I had that relationship with about 8 years later via Facebook, and I apologized, and he told me “It was all water under the bridge.” He is married now, with 2 or 3 beautiful children. We do not talk. Much like I don’t talk to any of my exgirlfriends from highschool either.
Several social networking sites like Facebook actually don’t allow sex offenders. Once, FB had to do an identity check because I got hacked or something, and I had to send a pic of my ID, and after seeing it, they banned me. So I had to build another account with a new email, and eventually, the wrong person saw me or friended me or something, and they reported me to FB and I got banned again. That happened a few times. It’s pretty silly and annoying, but kinda first world problems.
When I was a waiter, i had a customer whom I had never met before stalk me and complain about me to my boss and and try to get me fired. Solely based on rumors he had heard and googling me. My boss actually had my back on that one, which was sort of shocking. But good. Another time, a coworker found out about my past and accused me of harassing him (which wasn’t the case), and my boss who was supposed to have been a long time friend fired me.
So that’s basically how it goes. Feel free to message me if you have questions. and no hate speech please. Thanks.