# Sex or Magical Doritos?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [February 5, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887 "2007-02-05T04:28:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/21 "2007-02-05T09:24:25Z")
I barely know what a Dorito is. Sex all the way. Hey, that’s not a bad motto in itself.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/22 "2007-02-05T09:26:23Z")
I might be tempted if the offer was to enable me to shoot laser beams out of my fingertips, but Doritos? Nah. If I want some (which is not very often), I’ll just buy a bag, or go without.
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### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/23 "2007-02-05T09:38:07Z")
Unlimited Doritos, you say?
Hmm.
Well, I’m not a big fan, _but_ I can imagine a scenario where I could take those Doritos, market them as generic chips that taste as good as Doritos, and make a fortune from them by undercutting everyone else’s prices because the chips are free to me. 🙂
Once I have my fortune, the women come running.
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### Author:  [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/24 "2007-02-05T09:49:58Z")
[QUOTE=Manduck]
You’re doing it wrong 😃
[/QUOTE]
Even if we were ending up with more santorum in the house than the Pennsylvania Legislature, my hands still wouldn’t smell as bad the next day as they do from eating Doritos.
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### Author:  [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/25 "2007-02-05T10:24:49Z")
Doritos just aren’t that good.
I’m with Barbarian, that Faerie might need a physical correction.
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### Author:  [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/26 "2007-02-05T10:47:31Z")
I am a monk in a monastery.
Your ideas interest me, and I should like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Could you change the Doritos thing to fresh fruit (healthy eating leads to healthy body leads to attracts chicks?
Could you change the Doritos thing to whipped cream? I have a chat-up line I’d like to use…
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### Author:  [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/27 "2007-02-05T12:26:19Z")
This is difficult only in as much as there is a good chance I’ll go without sex for 3 years anyway - so I might as well get something out of it.
But if I were getting some on a regular basis, I wouldn’t trade it for Doritos.
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/28 "2007-02-05T12:29:33Z")
Not even for magically non-caloric chocolate cheesecake would I give up sex.
You people are crazy! :eek:
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### Author:  [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/29 "2007-02-05T14:29:36Z")
[QUOTE=Czarcasm]
No, of course not.
Unless they were low-carb, original Taco flavor Doritos.
[/QUOTE]
IIRC, Taco flavour was still available in Southern Alberta last summer (last time I was home). You’re on your own with the low-carb thing, though.
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### Author:  [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/30 "2007-02-05T14:48:54Z")
Have sex and forget about eatting crapy chips and getting fat. Most people can afford as many as they want anyhow.
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### Author:  [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/31 "2007-02-05T15:53:39Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth]
IIRC, Taco flavour was still available in Southern Alberta last summer (last time I was home). You’re on your own with the low-carb thing, though.
[/QUOTE]
For whatever crazy reason the convenience store near my house got a one week shipment of Taco Doritos last summer. I asked the kids behind the counter and they didn’t know why and had never heard of them before (kids!).
I bought them all, something like 15 bags. Mmm…
Kind of like that time I was in Hawaii and found a place that still had Sour Cream & Onion Doritos. That was 15+ years ago but still good.
As for the OP? No way in hell.
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/32 "2007-02-05T15:54:27Z")
I can’t imagine a dorito that good.
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### Author:  [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/33 "2007-02-05T16:05:48Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG]
Not even for magically non-caloric chocolate cheesecake would I give up sex.
You people are crazy! :eek:
[/QUOTE]
Doritos no. This magically non-caloric chocolate cheesecake though has potential for such a deal.
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/34 "2007-02-05T16:10:41Z")
I suppose I’d take the deal, If I were somehow faced with a coma that was going to last three years. Ya know, since I wouldn’t be usin’ it anyway. That’s pretty much the only scenario I can see it.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/35 "2007-02-05T16:12:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Not even for magically non-caloric chocolate cheesecake would I give up sex.
>
> You people are crazy!
Agreed.
I don’t care for Doritos all that much. I love cheescake, but even the promise of calorieless wonderful-tasting cheescake isn’t worth it.
How about Magical Sex instead?
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### Author:  [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/36 "2007-02-05T16:19:21Z")
I’d give up sex for a week or two for a single bag of barbecue flavored Doritos, which were a limited-time offering a few years ago. I was crushed when they disappeared.
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### Author:  [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/37 "2007-02-05T16:24:56Z")
I would have to take the Dorito,there is no way I am going to have sex with a bunch of goddamn faeries.
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### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2007, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/38 "2007-02-05T17:57:14Z")
Wait a sec. I’d have to have no sex (like I’m doing now, thankyouverymuch) and have the SuperDorito or I can have sex AND regular Doritos? Yeah, I’ll take door number two, Monty.
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### Author:  [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/39 "2007-02-06T01:38:48Z")
Maybe if they were actually magical doritos in that they gave you the abilty to fly or turn invisible at will or always find the perfect parking place, but just regular doritos? No thank you, I’ll have the sex.
Those faeries must have been smoking dope to even come up with such an idea.
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### Author:  [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/40 "2007-02-06T02:27:54Z")
That’s just crazy talk.
I would, however, give up Doritos for three years for as much crunchy, spicy, even cheesy, delicious sex I wanted anytime I held out my hand…
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