# Sex or Magical Doritos?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [February 5, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887 "2007-02-05T04:28:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/41 "2007-02-06T02:38:22Z")
Mr. AdoptaMom tastes better than Doritos.
I’ll take sex.
---
### Author:  [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/42 "2007-02-06T03:04:13Z")
[QUOTE=Jonathan Chance]
Kind of like that time I was in Hawaii and found a place that still had Sour Cream & Onion Doritos. That was 15+ years ago but still good.
[/QUOTE]
Don’t tell me we were the last place to have them. ☹ I miss Sour Cream & Onion Doritos dearly. It doesn’t seem like many people remember them.
Still wouldn’t pass up on sex, though. Even a million dollars would be a tough sell.
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### Author:  [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/43 "2007-02-06T03:19:30Z")
If the faeries had asked me this when I was in high school, I would have said, “Well who knows when I’ll ever get laid? Gimme the Doritos.” But now, I would say, “Piss off, before I show you where to put those Doritos.”
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### Author:  [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/44 "2007-02-06T03:32:47Z")
I haven’t had an orgasm in three years. So where are my fucking Doritos?!
(This actually isn’t true. Just so you know.)
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/45 "2007-02-06T03:38:25Z")
[QUOTE=Adoptamom\_II]
Mr. AdoptaMom tastes better than Doritos.
I’ll take sex.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, but have you ever wondered how he’d taste dipped in sour cream?
😃
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### Author:  [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/46 "2007-02-06T04:39:54Z")
**Drachillix** is whiter than sour cream and nerdy in the extreme—sorry, Weird Al…
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### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/47 "2007-02-06T06:19:51Z")
Three _years_ without orgasm of _any_ kind? I don’t think I could go three weeks even if I tried. Heck, I can’t remember the last time I’ve gone three days. You certainly wouldn’t want to be around me, at any rate.
So, no to the Doritos.
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### Author:  [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/48 "2007-02-06T06:51:09Z")
Aren’t Doritos only like $1.50 a bag? and they’re widely available. I don’t think I’d give up sex to avoid a trip to the corner store.
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### Author:  [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/49 "2007-02-06T12:21:03Z")
[QUOTE=Czarcasm]
Yes, but have you ever wondered how he’d taste dipped in sour cream?
😃
[/QUOTE]
I think that fantasy was fulfilled in 1988 … or was it 1989? 😃
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/50 "2007-02-06T13:25:27Z")
On the one hand the bargain is amazingly cheap, on the other hand the reward is surprisingly shoddy. Taken all in all I’ll continue to get my munchies the old-fashioned way, thanks. 😛
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### Author:  [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/51 "2007-02-06T13:28:32Z")
sex
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### Author:  [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/52 "2007-02-06T13:43:17Z")
Doritos, for sure. Sex prospects are loong pretty low for the next two years, and there is only one city where you can buy doritos in this country (in their less-yummy classic cheese flavor) and they cost five bucks for a mini bag.
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### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/53 "2007-02-06T14:06:45Z")
See, this is why I always carry an empty bottle with me. I wouldn’t take the Dorito deal either, but I’d capture the fairy in my bottle, set it to X, Y, or Z, and then use it to restore my hearts when my life energy is getting low.
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### Author:  [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/54 "2007-02-06T18:15:12Z")
Does nobody else see the potential to end hunger all over the world? You guys are some selfish motherfuckers.
First thing I thought of was going to starving nations and conjuring up billions of doritos to feed the starving. What’s wrong with you bastards?
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/55 "2007-02-06T18:19:44Z")
[QUOTE=Bear\_Nenno]
What’s wrong with you bastards?
[/QUOTE]
We’re horny, not hungry? 😃
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### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/56 "2007-02-06T18:23:18Z")
[QUOTE=Bear\_Nenno]
Does nobody else see the potential to end hunger all over the world? You guys are some selfish motherfuckers.
First thing I thought of was going to starving nations and conjuring up billions of doritos to feed the starving. What’s wrong with you bastards?
[/QUOTE]
Who wants to be the Fountain of Doritos? I have my own life to live, thanks.
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### Author:  [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/57 "2007-02-06T19:13:54Z")
I went without orgasm for two weeks a while ago to test a theory (there’s a thread around here somewhere…). There is no way in hell I’d last for three years.
On the other hand, I’d gladly give up Doritos for three years to have sex whenever I wanted.
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### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/58 "2007-02-06T19:16:02Z")
[QUOTE=Uvula Donor]
Who wants to be the Fountain of Doritos? I have my own life to live, thanks.
[/QUOTE]
You can be the Fountain of Doritos, I’ll be the Fountain of Spooge.
I concur, **Mr. Walrus**.
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### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/59 "2007-02-06T19:36:13Z")
[QUOTE=even sven]
Doritos, for sure. Sex prospects are loong pretty low for the next two years, and there is only one city where you can buy doritos in this country (in their less-yummy classic cheese flavor) and they cost five bucks for a mini bag.
[/QUOTE]
Remember, though, orgasm of _any_ kind is prohibited in the OP. No sexual release at all, even solo, so far as I can understand it.
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### Author:  [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-or-magical-doritos/390887/60 "2007-02-06T19:45:06Z")
Yeah, no intentional fun with yourself is allowed. I suppose nocturnal emissions would be exempt though.
Well, as it turns out, the faeries feel bad for you poor sex-craving mortals, so they have sweetened the deal by allowing any kind of food or drink. How do you like them apples?
_edited for typos_
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