# Sex Partners with Family Names **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2011, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127 "2011-10-19T10:01:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/21 "2011-10-19T15:55:01Z")
My brother’s wife has the same first name as our sister. And his son, who has the same first name as my brother, married a woman with the same first name as his mother (and his aunt). (It can get confusing in our family with three people with the same first name, two of whom also share the same last name, so we usually refer to them by their first name + middle name, which fortunately all differ.) Beyond the initial stages, I don’t think it matters much. Once you get to know them, you relate to people as people, not according to their names. (However, I’ve never been involved myself with anyone who shared my mother’s or sister’s names.) ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/22 "2011-10-19T16:06:11Z")
On the dope, the answer to “Should I send this email?” is always no, and “Could you have sex with…?” is always yes. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/23 "2011-10-19T16:20:06Z")
If, for some horrible reason, I had to go out on the dating scene I could never hook up with a “Sophie/Sophia” as that’s the name of my daughter. I was reading Stephen King/Peter Straub’s _The Black House_ and about 2/3 of the way into the novel the protagonist was waxing on about meeting the girl of his dreams, the one he would make love to all night long for the rest of his life, etc etc etc. The passage was written in a manner which revealed the girls name at the very end, and after this long build-up, they revealed her name as “Sophie”… which took me **completely** out of the book! ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/24 "2011-10-19T16:26:35Z")
Personally, I don’t think I could sleep with someone with my sister’s name or my mother’s name; it’s just a little too close to home. Aunt’s names and grandmothers’ name\* wouldn’t worry me, though. I do know an Erin who’s dating an Aaron, which is a whole 'nother level of creepy to me. How do you call their name out during sex? Too weird. \*Since this is the Dope, I’ll note that my apostrophes and plurals are correct. Both my grandmothers are named Mary. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/25 "2011-10-19T16:32:49Z")
If I couldn’t date a woman with my sister’s name, it would cut out a significant chunk of my dating pool; she’s a Jennifer. I’ve never heard any age appropriate women with my mom’s name. If they had the same given name, they would probably go by a different nickname. My mom has the same name as one of my dad’s sisters, although my aunt goes by the full name and my mom by a nickname. My dad and my mom’s current boyfriend go by the same name, although for my dad it’s a nickname, for the boyfriend it’s his given name. ---
**Author:** ![Chopper9760](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Chopper9760](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chopper9760)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/26 "2011-10-19T17:30:08Z")
No, it wouldn’t bother me. I’ve always liked my maternal grandfather’s names and nicknames but he was an asshole and I wouldn’t be able to use any of his monikers for a child or a pet even though they are very common names. That’s really the only name-related hang up I can think of. ---
**Author:** ![storyguide3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@storyguide3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyguide3)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/27 "2011-10-19T18:08:21Z")
I doubt it would bother me a whole lot, though it has never come up so who knows. In university I knew a guy whose boyfriend had the same name as he did (the Two Ronnies, we called them). I also have a dim memory of a friend’s parents who had the “same” names as each other (a Jerry and Jerri sort of thing). I guess those folks had no problems with calling out their \*own \*name in bed, let alone another relative’s. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/28 "2011-10-19T18:11:28Z")
I lived with someone whose name was the same as my brother’s but don’t recall ever being bothered by it. Possibly because the name was one of the most common in that generation and it seemed like half the guys I knew shared it. I think it might be weird if it had been my father’s name. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/29 "2011-10-19T18:21:49Z")
When my ex-wife and I first started dating (and having sex), she was going through an experimental phase where she went by a diminutive of her given name. Which meant she went by the same name my sister went by. I chose a different diminutive and called her that instead to avoid the trauma. She later resumed going by her full given name (3 syllables), but I still opted to call her by my chosen diminutive (1 syllable) almost exclusively. I’m lazy. Interestingly, my sister’s second husband and our older brother shared a given name. I never had the courage to ask her, and as they have parted ways, it will probably never come up. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/30 "2011-10-19T19:37:01Z")
My mother’s name was the same as my father’s younger sister (though she went by a nickname) and my aunt married someone with the same name as my father. This all happened over 70 years ago. My parents are gone but my aunt and uncle are still married, so no ill effects that I could see. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/31 "2011-10-19T22:52:20Z")
If she’s hot, Hell no! ---
**Author:** ![Neevil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Neevil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neevil)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/32 "2011-10-20T08:27:51Z")
> [@Rala](#): > > It’s never come up for me, but I think it would be too weird to date someone with one of my siblings’ names. But someone with the same name as one of my parents would be OK - those names aren’t associated first and foremost with family in my mind like my siblings’ names are. I know my parents’ names, but that’s not how I think of them, they’re Mum and Dad to me. This is how I feel. My husband has the same first name as my Dad. I don’t call my father by his first name so its not an issue for me. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/33 "2011-10-20T08:45:58Z")
It didn’t bother [Evelyn Waugh](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_Waugh), or his wife, Evelyn Waugh. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/34 "2011-10-20T17:33:18Z")
Most of my family have fairly common names, so this has surely happened. No problem. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/35 "2011-10-21T00:00:02Z")
In Korea, due to many surnames being very common (especially Kims and Lees) what matters is your which clan of the surname you belong to. I’ll certainly follow that very simple rule of thumb or just get married to a non-Korean or be celibate for even more convenience ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/36 "2011-10-21T00:00:24Z")
> [@Oy](#): > > It would have made things easier for me. As it was, every Christmas I’d be calling my brothers by the name of my husband, then catching myself, and after Christmas my poor husband would be going by my brothers’ names for several weeks. Hell, he’s lucky I didn’t call him Mom or Dad half the time. > > If I’d ever been a mother, I would have been one of those who had to go through several of her kids’ names before she got to the right one. Yeah, I was always annoyed when my mother would go through my brother’s name, my sister’s name, then two of the past dogs’ names before getting to my name. :mad: The only consolation was that she would do that when expressing some sort of exasperation or irritation, so it was good to know I was way down on her list of ‘usual sources’ of such emotion. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/37 "2011-10-21T00:10:24Z")
Fortunately, my mom and sister both have relatively uncommon names, so this hasn’t come up. In fact, I’m not sure I know _anyone_ else personally with their first names. But I suspect that, since these names are uncommon - yah, it would be a pretty significant problem. Could work around it if needed, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/38 "2011-10-21T00:15:03Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > It didn’t bother [Evelyn Waugh](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_Waugh), or his wife, Evelyn Waugh. Maybe it did; she wasn’t faithful… ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/39 "2011-10-21T11:42:16Z")
My sister has had at least two boyfriend’s with my name, but since it’s the most common boy’s name in my country, it’s not too squicky. Larry Mudd’s situation is very different, Terry is a rare name ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127/40 "2011-10-21T12:19:05Z")
I have a reasonably unusual first name- and one of the other few people I know with that name is my ex’s sister (who practically brought him up). I don’t think it majorly bothered him, though he answered the phone to me a few times clearly expecting her, and vice versa, after being just told ‘X’ was on the line. I think his dad used to do that deliberately, 'cos he thought it was funny. Personally, apart from the potential for confusion, it wouldn’t occur to me to be bothered. Full name- maybe, but even then I doubt it’d worry me for long. It’d take me longer to get over it if they shared a name with my friend’s abusive stepfather, but I’ve never met anyone else with that name, it’s extremely uncommon and old fashioned, so it’s easier to make a mental link. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-partners-with-family-names/600127.md?page=3)