# Sex Poll Inspired By The Stand **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2007, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168 "2007-09-14T14:23:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/41 "2007-09-15T14:10:06Z")
I’m married & have 2 highly energetic kids. I get #2. #1 isn’t even on the menu. BTW- you forgot #3 which is “You don’t like it? Then go post on that Damn Computer and let me sleep.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/42 "2007-09-15T15:04:33Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] Barbara Billingsley in a Gestapo uniform and stilletos, with a cat-o-nine-tails. [/QUOTE] Somehow reading that post made my laptop computer get, like 2 pounds heavier, and I don’t underst-- wait, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/43 "2007-09-15T15:53:01Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] Not on your life. Eldridge and June Cleaver, maybe. [/QUOTE] I’m thinking that Eldridge probably wouldn’t lay a finger on the white devil. ---
**Author:** ![poetwarlord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@poetwarlord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poetwarlord)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/44 "2007-09-15T16:25:19Z")
It depends on whether kissing is considered a sexual act. If it is then I choose #1. If not then #2. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/45 "2007-09-15T17:28:50Z")
I chose #2. It’s okay. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2007, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/46 "2007-09-16T04:22:05Z")
What I don’t understand is the people who haven’t read this book yet. I thought it was as _de rigeur_ here as “The Princess Bride” and Joss Whedon. 😃 (It really is a good book. It isn’t really like any of Stephen King’s other books.) This really is a tough question. I don’t like either choice - neither would be satisfying in the long run. “Do you want chocolate cake for the rest of your life with no other desserts, or every other kind of dessert but no chocolate cake ever again?” I’m going to have to decline to choose on the grounds that I don’t have to. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/47 "2007-09-17T01:16:11Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] I should be picturing the missionary position, almost fully clothed, but somehow I’m pictuing Hugh Beaumont with a ball gag and leather cuffs, and Barbara Billingsley in a Gestapo uniform and stilletos, with a cat-o-nine-tails. [/QUOTE] \< Insert “Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night” joke here \> ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/48 "2007-09-17T01:22:08Z")
Oh, yeah. Female here. This is a really really tough question. I’d have to go with #2–not because I’m a plain-vanilla type, but because I think I’d feel quite unsatisfied without good ol’fashioned fucking. Anal is totally different. Maybe it would be a reasonable substitute for a man, but for me, it wouldn’t be. But really what I’d do is dump Harold, stop saving myself for that freak Randall Flagg, and go seduce Stu Redman or something. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/49 "2007-09-17T11:17:07Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] But really what I’d do is dump Harold, stop saving myself for that freak Randall Flagg, and go seduce Stu Redman or something. [/QUOTE] "How’s it goin’, East Texas? " ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/50 "2007-09-17T12:38:50Z")
I’ve had a couple relationships that were all #1 (like in high school and college, when the girls were much more worried about getting pregnant) and one that was all #2, and I’d have to go with the #1. A man (and most women, evidently) needs variety. And to voice an unpopular opinion, I didn’t even like _The Stand_. I found it tedious. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/51 "2007-09-17T13:52:12Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] \But really what I’d do is dump Harold, stop saving myself for that freak Randall Flagg, and go seduce Stu Redman or something. [/QUOTE] Not Stu - he and Fran had too good a thing. You’d have to go find some other nice, [del]horny[/del] lonely guy. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/52 "2007-09-17T16:29:58Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Not Stu - he and Fran had too good a thing. You’d have to go find some other nice, [del]horny[/del] lonely guy. [/QUOTE] Trash Can Man looks like he could stand to get a little sum’n-sum’n. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/53 "2007-09-17T17:36:17Z")
The complete lack of foreplay in choice #2 is a total turn off. Foreplay is such a crucial part of sex. Limiting it severely would totally kill the whole act. I think either of those, even given anal sex in #1, would eventually and/or quickly start sucking (or chafing, maybe?) (Also, I’m a dude for those of you who don’t know) ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/54 "2007-09-17T18:24:50Z")
#2, I choose you! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/55 "2007-09-17T20:15:47Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Not Stu - he and Fran had too good a thing. You’d have to go find some other nice, [del]horny[/del] lonely guy. [/QUOTE] You know, I’d agree with you, but that damn mini-series totally messed with my perceptions of everything. I just can’t accept that Stu really loves Molly Ringwald. And sorry, **KTK** , but the Trashcan Man just doesn’t do it for me. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/56 "2007-09-17T20:30:55Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] And sorry, **KTK** , but the Trashcan Man just doesn’t do it for me. [/QUOTE] How about the Monster Crier, then? Once you you Kareem, you never go back, I’m told. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/57 "2007-09-17T21:34:57Z")
[QUOTE=ArchiveGuy] #1, with even a modicum of ingenuity, has a truly infinite amount of varities. #1 hands down. [/QUOTE] Or hands up. Or hands to the side. Or one hand up, one hand, um, somewhere else. Or both hands very busy. Etc. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/58 "2007-09-17T22:29:18Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] \< Insert “Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night” joke here \> [/QUOTE] Thankfully, I was not drinking a beverage at the time I read this or it would have been all over my monitor. Oh, and I also refuse to choose. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/59 "2007-09-18T13:29:08Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] You know, I’d agree with you, but that damn mini-series totally messed with my perceptions of everything. I just can’t accept that Stu really loves Molly Ringwald. \ [/QUOTE] Maybe some of us are pretending that Molly Ringwald was never in that mini-series. Maybe some of are pretending that Fran was played by someone worthy of the role. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168/60 "2007-09-18T14:10:10Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Maybe some of us are pretending that Molly Ringwald was never in that mini-series. Maybe some of are pretending that Fran was played by someone worthy of the role. 🙂 [/QUOTE] _cough_ _Claire Danes_ _cough_ 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-poll-inspired-by-the-stand/419168.md?page=4)