# Sex Question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 29, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123 "2011-04-29T04:06:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/21 "2011-04-29T19:26:25Z")
I think more women are submissive than men, but by no means most. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/22 "2011-04-29T21:02:51Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > I think more women are submissive than men, but by no means most. Me too. I’m not what I would call ‘dominant’ or aggressive sexually, but I haven’t been submissive to the partners I’ve had. And many of my female friends seem to enjoy taking charge. I can’t see a clear majority. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/23 "2011-04-29T21:10:34Z")
> [@Ladymarmalade](#): > > That is an interesting take on it. I meant physically, during sex, that she would like the man to dominate. I see what you’re saying though. I think a lot of women start of being submissive, as teens or young women, not because they crave being dominated but because they’re terrified of speaking up. Being dominant in bed means you _really_ want sex (and weren’t just talked or ‘tricked’ into it by some guy who’s read _Maxim_), and could very well be a slut. Still a major concern for teens everywhere, pathetically. There are definitely women who like being dominated in bed, often because they are very dominant out of the bedroom (and sometimes with a teensy bit of laziness thrown in), but there are also women who have never had an orgasm and are too shy or afraid to ask for what they like. ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/24 "2011-04-29T22:47:43Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I think this topic is too damn important for blind guesswork and supposition, so as a committed(three times to date) researcher for The Straight Dope I am dedicating whatever time it takes to finding the definitive answer. Ladies, _ **if** _ you drop me a line via pm or email, I will start fitting you all into my schedule. \ Why are you _asking_, real men don’t use “if.” You should be **TELLING** the ladies to submit a pm/email to you and **TELLING** them when their scheduled appointment/try out is. Dominate man, _dominate_. Sheesh, do I have to do everything myself? p.s. please don’t tell my Mommy or girlfriend I said that, okay? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/25 "2011-04-29T23:29:35Z")
> [@dba\_Fred](#): > > \ > Why are you _asking_, real men don’t use “if.” You should be **TELLING** the ladies to submit a pm/email to you and **TELLING** them when their scheduled appointment/try out is. Dominate man, _dominate_. > Sheesh, do I have to do everything myself? > p.s. please don’t tell my Mommy or girlfriend I said that, okay? Dude, that would skew the results, and only half the ladies would sign up. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/26 "2011-04-30T00:21:21Z")
Some are, some aren’t. You can’t generalize. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/27 "2011-04-30T01:10:55Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Some are, some aren’t. You can’t generalize. I disagree. Based on my personal experiences, the trend is definitely for the woman to be submissive even if outside of the sex she is not. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/28 "2011-04-30T02:02:27Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Some are, some aren’t. You can’t generalize. True. If the woman loves me back, I’ll take what comes. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/29 "2011-04-30T02:06:29Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > True. If the woman loves me back, I’ll take what comes. You just had your back waxed, didn’t you? ~runs away~ ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/30 "2011-04-30T04:58:04Z")
I have a submissive personality in general. When other people are happy, I’m happy. I’m non confrontational and the opposite of a control freak. If someone gets pissed at me, my first instinct is to apologize, only to later determine I did nothing wrong. :smack: Weirdly, the only place I’m not that way is in the every day workings of my marriage. I’m pretty assertive about my own needs when it comes to my husband. Not unkind or demanding - just assertive. I would even say aggressive. I am the one who approached him about a relationship, after all. I have always been this way, ever since I jerked my second grade boyfriend behind the bleachers and kissed him because I was sick of waiting around for him to make a move! But _sexually_, I’m as submissive as they come. I’m not into pain/humiliation, but domination, yes. _Very_ much yes. While both men and women have submission fantasies I’m pretty sure they are more common among women - or at least women feel more free to admit them to researchers! ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/31 "2011-04-30T05:28:39Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > ever since I jerked my second grade boyfriend behind the bleachers and kissed him because I was sick of waiting around for him to make a move! This, I did not read as you intended. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/32 "2011-05-01T02:12:28Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > You just had your back waxed, didn’t you? > > ~runs away~ Hey, $2 extra “Hot Wax” at the car wash…why not? 😉 (the huge Ceiling Loofah hurt like Bitch though…but the towel off by 8 people at the end was a nice touch.) ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123/33 "2011-05-01T02:35:34Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > This, I did not read as you intended. Heh, I thought it clearly _meant_ handjob until I read your comment, re-read her post, and considered she may have just meant she pulled him behind the bleachers to kiss him. Which is nowhere near as good a story. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-question/580123.md?page=1)