# Sex robots for Incels? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2018, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783 "2018-07-12T15:15:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/381 "2018-07-23T20:48:51Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > I think the Incels are still going to say “how does that get me what I want [for instance, a high status, beautiful girlfriend who is also a virgin]?” That’s impossible to solve because of the scarcity math of it, but it’s a bit of a straw man. From the Reddit community, few were holding out for the impossible-woman; in fact ‘incel’ implies someone who can’t get a mate, period, not someone who can’t get a mate that fits incredibly narrow criteria (that would be ‘volcels’; voluntary incels.") Not accusing you of straw-manning but I think one way that is often used to dismiss the incel case is this notion that they are demanding something impossible. Kind of like as if an Islamic terrorist hijacker demands the release of twelve hostages (a fulfillable request) but people act as if he is demanding the release of $12 trillion. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/382 "2018-07-23T20:51:29Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > That’s impossible to solve because of the scarcity math of it, but it’s a bit of a straw man. From the Reddit community, few were holding out for the impossible-woman; in fact ‘incel’ implies someone who can’t get a mate, period, not someone who can’t get a mate that fits incredibly narrow criteria (that would be ‘volcels’; voluntary incels.") > > Not accusing you of straw-manning but I think one way that is often used to dismiss the incel case is this notion that they are demanding something impossible. Kind of like as if an Islamic terrorist hijacker demands the release of twelve hostages (a fulfillable request) but people act as if he is demanding the release of $12 trillion. By my reading, incels generally reject the possibility of dating someone who doesn’t fall into a very narrow range of characteristics, like early 20s, white, slim, and with clear skin. Or a variation. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/383 "2018-07-23T20:56:59Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > That’s impossible to solve because of the scarcity math of it, but it’s a bit of a straw man. From the Reddit community, few were holding out for the impossible-woman; in fact ‘incel’ implies someone who can’t get a mate, period, not someone who can’t get a mate that fits incredibly narrow criteria (that would be ‘volcels’; voluntary incels.") > > Not accusing you of straw-manning but I think one way that is often used to dismiss the incel case is this notion that they are demanding something impossible. Kind of like as if an Islamic terrorist hijacker demands the release of twelve hostages (a fulfillable request) but people act as if he is demanding the release of $12 trillion. As a person who can’t get a mate, period, I’d like to point out that the term “Incel” specifically refers to a very specific hate group that, as part of its dogma, explicitly states that the impossible-women are depriving them of sex and should be forced to provide it, via methods up to and including raping them. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t slander men like me who are merely unhappily single by calling us by the name “Incel”. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/384 "2018-07-23T21:08:37Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > This is akin to telling terrorists, “You need to respect society. The rules of law and decency prohibit terrorism. People have the right to not conform to your demands. They also have the right not to be blown up or shot or stabbed, and your use of violence towards your ends or goals is wrong.” > > In other words, it all sounds right and good, but the terrorist is apt to ask, “Well, what’s in it for me? How does this get me what I want?” I would tell them I don’t know what they want me to say. Do they want me to agree with them they are entitled to pussy by virtue of existing? Because I can’t do that. Do they want me to agree with them the world is harsh and cruel and unfair? Because I will, but I don’t know how this helps them get what they want either. I mean, I am able to feel sympathy for lots of pathetic, obnoxious people. And I believe people’s mindsets are the result of the milieu around them…so in that way, hateful people are products of hateful environments. But I also believe in the power of shame to snap people out of their programming. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it can deter people from going down certain paths. Yes, the dating game is rough and women have it easier than guys in some respects and virgin-shaming is real and so is the pressure to measure one’s worth in the number of relationships one has. So I do think society has a lot of room for improvement. But individuals do as well. It is kind of hard to tell people to have more compassion and sympathy for a certain segment of society, when the individuals in that segment seem to be going out of their way to not have compassion or sympathy for anyone else. Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/385 "2018-07-23T21:11:51Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > 1. Squelch the misleading notion in society that “dating and relationships are easy” - sure, for many people it is, but for many others, they are not, and those who say it is tough and hard, aren’t making it up, any more than a jobless unemployed person saying that “it’s hard to find a job” is trolling for sympathy. Tell young people, especially, that they should _not_ expect it to be easy, that in fact many people end up lonely or sexless for decades, and that an expectation that it will be easy will only worsen their misery should it not be. Anyone who is sexless for decades is sexless because of their own choices, outside of a few edge cases like severely handicapped people who can’t go out in the world. Coming up with $200 once a decade to hire an escort, for example, is not some great task that no one can achieve. Going to a bar at closing time and taking whoever is available will work after a few tries. You’re just not going to get the beautiful, subservient trophy wife that incles believe they’re entitled to. Supporting the myths that incels spread about themselves with their lie of a name is not something I’d consider a reasonable solution to anything having to do with them. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/386 "2018-07-23T21:28:39Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > How would you improve society such that fewer people become incels? Parents need to stop micromanaging every aspect of their kids. I suspect low resiliency is on the rise in young people because parents can’t bear the thought of letting their kids trouble-shoot their own problems. Additionally, I would love to see PSAs targeted at young people that warn them of social media pitfalls. Like all the lying and exaggerating that people do. Or why comparing your life to everyone’s highlight reels is foolhardy. Kids need to also hear that it is okay to not be on social media. Get some cool celebrities to spread this message and maybe it will convince kids to stop putting so much value on the number of likes they get, at the very least. Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/387 "2018-07-23T21:54:53Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > If a road-rage motorist steps out of his car with a crowbar and approaches you on the highway, then roll down your window and calmly tell him that he is a loser, that he is wrong and you are right, and that he needs mental help. After you’ve rechecked the details on your health and life insurance, that is. If a road-rage motorist steps out of his car with crowbar and approaches you on the highway, then roll down your window and calmly show him your gun (and maybe aim the laser sight directly at him). Calling him a loser is optional, but may be enjoyable after the anxiety he has caused by his threatening behavior. Likewise if an incel begins to rant about raping and enslaving women, he should be promptly reminded that such actions are crimes and if he commits such actions he will be punished to full extent of the law plus whatever shaming society decides is appropriate. Telling him, he will be sent to a pound-your-ass prison where he will no longer be celibate is optional, but maybe enjoyable after the anxiety he has caused by his threatening behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/388 "2018-07-23T22:52:37Z")
The thing is, an incel doesn’t want a beautiful woman because he literally can’t get a boner except when he’s fucking a 10. He wants a beautiful woman because if he’s fucking a beautiful woman it will prove to everyone that he’s a high-status alpha male. It has nothing to do with being lonely and unfuckable, and everything to do with a childish fantasy of being a success. Except even if they got that superficial success somehow, they’d still be desperately unhappy. Because when you desperately crave the superficial trappings of high social status, you won’t be satisfied when you get them. If you want a nice house, a loving spouse, a decent job, 2.5 kids and a picket fence, you could be happy if you got them. But if the only reason you want those things is because it prove to the world that you’re not a disgusting loser, then getting those things won’t make you happy, because it won’t prove anything of the sort. You’ll just be a disgusting loser with a house. And if people really did treat you like a human being because you had the trappings of success, then you’d hate them. An incel wants a woman that will show off his status, but hates and despises the woman who he imagines would make him happy. How’s that supposed to work again? You need this woman, who you hate and despise, to validate you. Yet why does the validation of a person you hate and despise mean so much to you? ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/389 "2018-07-23T23:56:20Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > 1. Squelch the misleading notion in society that “dating and relationships are easy” - sure, for many people it is, but for many others, they are not, and those who say it is tough and hard, aren’t making it up, any more than a jobless unemployed person saying that “it’s hard to find a job” is trolling for sympathy. Tell young people, especially, that they should _not_ expect it to be easy, that in fact many people end up lonely or sexless for decades, and that an expectation that it will be easy will only worsen their misery should it not be. I don’t take major issue with the rest of what your wrote, but I disagee the myth that you’re talking about is as pervasive as you’re portraying it. If anything, I’d say the opposite is true: “dating and relationships are hard work” is the conventional wisdom. And that idea creates it’s own set of problems, like people trying to stay together despite fighting all the time. Or, when it comes to dating, spending a lot of time trying to master the art of game, seduction or “rules” or whatever. I think guys who struggle with singleness often look at others and just assume romance comes easy for them. But how would they really know that the guy they see with his arm around his GF at the movie theater had spent most of his adult life unhappily alone, and only through sheer luck found his current at a meetup event he forced himself to attend last minute? In our Facebook addicted society, it’s easy to think everyone except you is living fabulously and fail into hopeless despair. It takes maturity and perspective to see that isn’t the case. > [@](#): > > 1. Essentially, take incels seriously while not condoning any incel violence. In the same way that we can note why certain factors contributed to the rise of Islamic terrorism (i.e., Western exploitation of Middle Eastern oil, propping up of regimes, the war in Iraq, shootdown of the 1980s Iranian airliner, Western sterotyping of Arabs, etc.) while not condoning Islamic violence, we can also seriously listen to and understand why incels become incels, and where they come from, while not condoning incel violence. We shouldn’t make fun of Incels, but we should be making fun of their blackpill beliefs so that susceptible minds will become resistant to them. The evolutionary psych pseudoscience rubbish that makes up the basis of their beliefs about women is what keeps them mired in misogyny and fatalism that will only exacerbate their relationship difficulties. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/390 "2018-07-24T00:15:04Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > I don’t take major issue with the rest of what your wrote, but I disagee the myth that you’re talking about is as pervasive as you’re portraying it. If anything, I’d say the opposite is true: “dating and relationships are hard work” is the conventional wisdom. And that idea creates it’s own set of problems, like people trying to stay together despite fighting all the time. Or, when it comes to dating, spending a lot of time trying to master the art of game, seduction or “rules” or whatever. Yeah, I don’t think anything conveying the idea that relationships are a slog is productive. Relationships are about balance and empathy and tolerance more than work. Of course, sometimes balance, empathy, and tolerance ARE work when someone is being a pill. It’s like people who think that the only way to lose weight is through extreme starvation. It seems that some people get the idea that if you aren’t sacrificing constantly, it’s not real. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/391 "2018-07-24T00:43:20Z")
> [@wonky](#): > > Yeah, I don’t think anything conveying the idea that relationships are a slog is productive. Relationships are about balance and empathy and tolerance more than work. Of course, sometimes balance, empathy, and tolerance ARE work when someone is being a pill. > > It’s like people who think that the only way to lose weight is through extreme starvation. It seems that some people get the idea that if you aren’t sacrificing constantly, it’s not real. This may be how many people end up psyching themselves out. If you think you have to have to essentially be perfect just to date successfully, you are probably going to give up too soon. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/392 "2018-07-24T01:34:00Z")
Again, I’d like to know why the OP is equating “Incels” with “people who have emotional or mental or social problems and could benefit from some form of treatment or therapy.” Clearing that up would go a long way toward moving this conversation forward. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/393 "2018-07-24T01:47:02Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > This may be how many people end up psyching themselves out. If you think you have to have to essentially be perfect just to date successfully, you are probably going to give up too soon. This is kind of what happened to me in my twenties. I was convinced I just wasn’t good enough. Even after 22 years of marriage I sometimes find myself afraid of making any kind of mistake that affects my wife. I think it goes back to the rear that I lacked something. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/394 "2018-07-24T02:15:59Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Again, I’d like to know why the OP is equating “Incels” with “people who have emotional or mental or social problems and could benefit from some form of treatment or therapy.” Clearing that up would go a long way toward moving this conversation forward. He’s trying to fight a rearguard semantic battle: > [@Blalron](#): > > When I use the term “Incel”, I’m talking about the original meaning of the term before it got hijacked by extremists: someone who who wants to have a sexual relationship but is unable to find a romantic partner despite repeated attempts. I’m not talking about the hateful ideology/mental illness displayed by Elliot Rodger and a handful of others. > > Incel is a useful concept. Maybe this is a losing battle on my part, but I don’t want to let Elliot Rodger or Nikolas Cruz define what an Incel is, anymore than ISIS gets to define Islam. Unfortunately for **Blalron** it is like trying to argue swastikas are perfectly benign symbols in Hinduism. It is indeed a lost battle. Incel has settled into an accepted definition now and it is _ideologically misogynist asshole_. However as long as he keeps using the word to define one thing and literally everyone else is using it to define something else, everyone will keep talking past each other. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/395 "2018-07-24T02:22:37Z")
> [@P-man](#): > > This is kind of what happened to me in my twenties. I was convinced I just wasn’t good enough. Even after 22 years of marriage I sometimes find myself afraid of making any kind of mistake that affects my wife. I think it goes back to the rear that I lacked something. I don’t lack a rear. I meant to type “idea”. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/396 "2018-07-24T03:41:14Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > This is akin to telling terrorists, “You need to respect society. The rules of law and decency prohibit terrorism. People have the right to not conform to your demands. They also have the right not to be blown up or shot or stabbed, and your use of violence towards your ends or goals is wrong.” > > In other words, it all sounds right and good, but the terrorist is apt to ask, “Well, what’s in it for me? How does this get me what I want?” Well, as the Rolling Stones once said, “You can’t always get what you want.” And while it may be a cliche, it’s true: life isn’t fair. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/397 "2018-07-24T13:21:48Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > This is akin to telling terrorists, “You need to respect society. The rules of law and decency prohibit terrorism. People have the right to not conform to your demands. They also have the right not to be blown up or shot or stabbed, and your use of violence towards your ends or goals is wrong.” > > In other words, it all sounds right and good, but the terrorist is apt to ask, “Well, what’s in it for me? How does this get me what I want?” Then the terrorist should be told “What’s in it for you, is that you do not have to risk being enslaved, tortured, or killed by those who do not find your views unacceptable. How does this get you what you want? It allows you the freedom to live how you would like, so long as you do not infringe on the rights of others. This is as much of what you want as you are entitled to.” ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/398 "2018-07-24T14:42:54Z")
> [@P-man](#): > > I don’t lack a rear. I meant to type “idea”. I just assumed you had a rearguard battle, too, but failed! ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/399 "2018-07-24T17:03:23Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > This may be how many people end up psyching themselves out. If you think you have to have to essentially be perfect just to date successfully, you are probably going to give up too soon. Look at the people here who insist that only the top 20% of women are fuckable. If you’re not a 9 or 10, you’re garbage. That would sound misogynistic, except they also seem to believe the same thing applies to men. Only the top 20% of men are fuckable. And there’s also the belief that landing in the top 20% is just one big spin of the wheel. Nothing you can do will move you up the ladder. Either you lucked out with a symmetrical face and washboard abs, or you’re doomed to permanent loser status. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783/400 "2018-07-24T17:17:10Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Look at the people here who insist that only the top 20% of women are fuckable. If you’re not a 9 or 10, you’re garbage. That would sound misogynistic, except they also seem to believe the same thing applies to men. Only the top 20% of men are fuckable. And we never get a good answer as to how this is possible when most people have sex with willing partners. How can unfuckables be fucked? It’s like a burrito so big God can’t eat it, man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-robots-for-incels/817783.md?page=21)