# Sex Sans Condom **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 18, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442 "2009-02-18T21:06:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/21 "2009-02-18T23:39:47Z")
My record of condom use is heavily weighted towards “none”. Other than my primary relationships, my sexual partners have always ended up being female friends I trusted and knew the history of, and thus wasn’t that worried about it. Were I to suddenly become non-monogamous, the odds are that similar couplings would be my primary side-action, so similar situations would occur. However, in the one or two instances when a lady has asked me to put one on, I have complied. I do let them know that with one on, if I don’t finish or similar battlefield malfunctions occur, that it’s not them, it’s just the condom (happens to me about 30% of the time with condoms). ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/22 "2009-02-19T00:09:08Z")
I have never, and would never, participate in a one night stand without a condom. I’ve never slept with a man that didn’t put on a condom immediately when I brought it up either. My current SO and I don’t use them anymore but we did for the first 4 months or so we were together. We have both been tested and I am on the pill and we use a spermicide as well, so we aren’t being cavalier about the whole thing but we are at a point now where we don’t feel they are necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/23 "2009-02-19T00:23:45Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > Other than my primary relationships, my sexual partners have always ended up being female friends I trusted and knew the history of, and thus wasn’t that worried about it. > > Were I to suddenly become non-monogamous, the odds are that similar couplings would be my primary side-action, so similar situations would occur. So they’re celibate except for their occasional encounters with you? Must be nice having a harem. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/24 "2009-02-19T00:45:46Z")
Straight male here. I have never and will never use a condom. Strangely enough, I’ve been with way more than my fair share of women. Off the top of my head, I think I can count only two women in my life have asked me to use a condom. When asked by these two women to use a condom, my response was “I don’t use condoms. Maybe it’s best if we just don’t have sex. We’ll just lay here and go to sleep.” (or something to that effect. I made it a point of NOT pressuring her into “sans-condom” sex.) Funny thing is tho’, one girl said “OK screw it. Just make sure you pull out.” The other girl said “OK let’s not have sex.” We laid there in bed for all of five minutes when she said “OK I changed my mind. Let’s have sex” I know it’s a rather pragmatic way of thinking but my opinion is people owe it’s prosperity to so called “unsafe sex”. If people only had sex the way health nuts and Christians said you should do it; humanity would have died out a long time ago. I know I should feel guilty about this but I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/25 "2009-02-19T00:47:26Z")
Irresponsibility, how charming! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/26 "2009-02-19T00:54:59Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > I know it’s a rather pragmatic way of thinking but my opinion is people owe it’s prosperity to so called “unsafe sex”. Uh … What? So, you’re willing to risk that AIDS bullet so the rest of us can prosper? ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/27 "2009-02-19T01:00:46Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > If people only had sex the way health nuts and Christians said you should do it; humanity would have died out a long time ago. Um…you realize that Catholics, the biggest Christian religion in the world, are AGAINST not just condoms but even the pill, right? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/28 "2009-02-19T01:05:08Z")
> [@Telperien](#): > > Irresponsibility, how charming! Well, I wont call anybody here a liar but I find it rather dubious that so many people on a board are so totally against unsafe sex. Yet out there IRL this isn’t the case. At least not in my experience. And I’ve been through the whole gamut of women too. From Strippers to College educated career minded women. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/29 "2009-02-19T01:08:07Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Um…you realize that Catholics, the biggest Christian religion in the world, are AGAINST not just condoms but even the pill, right? Of course I do. I also realize that Catholics don’t approve of premarital sex. How many babies would there be in this world if only married people are having them? ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/30 "2009-02-19T01:27:20Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Um…you realize that Catholics, the biggest Christian religion in the world, are AGAINST not just condoms but even the pill, right? Cyn, Good Catholic Girl… My mom used to show us girls her diaphragm and say “The Pope is a man.” I was never refused the condom experience but I did have one man “lose his ambition” when he put one on. I said what the hey and returned to the fun stuff. In following fun-times, we started skipping the condom attempts. Since I’d had my tubes tied, and we were heading for a LTR, seemingly, it didn’t seem crazy. Cyn, Good Catholic Girl who had pre-marital sex, cuz if you’re going to buy that car, you takes it on a good, long test-drive. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/31 "2009-02-19T02:23:28Z")
I have never asked a woman to go without one. A couple have asked me. Yeah, I did. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/32 "2009-02-19T08:17:55Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > So they’re celibate except for their occasional encounters with you? Must be nice having a harem. That reminded me of this xkcd strip: [xkcd: Convincing Pickup Line](http://xkcd.com/403/) re: the op, I’m a straight male and I tried it at a spur of the moment thing (well twice on the same night). Most of the time it’s condoms or bust. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/33 "2009-02-19T08:29:53Z")
I have not been single in a long, long time. But when I was…ah, the 70s. No condoms. I don’t actually consider it to be sex if there’s a rubber barrier. (The diaphragm was different, as I couldn’t really feel it. Well, not in the same way.) There was a bad period following childbirth when my ob recommended condoms, and even gave me a sample packet. Turns out I have a latex allergy. But even if they’re made out of something else, I don’t like them. I like skin. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/34 "2009-02-19T08:31:52Z")
I’ve had sex with both men and women, and when I was younger, I would have said, it was up to them, If they mentioned it, I would wear one, if not, I would go without. Now, having become somewhat more mature, I wouldn’t have sex without a condom unless it was in a monogamous relationship, after we had both been tested. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/35 "2009-02-19T13:41:34Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > My record of condom use is heavily weighted towards “none”. > > Other than my primary relationships, my sexual partners have always ended up being female friends I trusted and knew the history of, and thus wasn’t that worried about it. > > Were I to suddenly become non-monogamous, the odds are that similar couplings would be my primary side-action, so similar situations would occur. > > However, in the one or two instances when a lady has asked me to put one on, I have complied. I do let them know that with one on, if I don’t finish or similar battlefield malfunctions occur, that it’s not them, it’s just the condom (happens to me about 30% of the time with condoms). This post could have been written by me. I (with a handful of exceptions) know the lady pretty well before we engage in that type of activity and there will be some talk as to whether or not she’s on BC. I think that there needs to be a trust between two lovers that if one of you is infected you need to tell the other person before you screw. So the talk of condom use only occurred with partners that weren’t on BC yet. As far as I know I’ve never had a sexual relationship with anyone that was infectious. And the few one nighter’s I’ve had have gone both ways. Scary, and to think I could have a child in Jamaica somewhere wakes me up sometimes at night. We had a three day fling and not a condom in sight. I tested clean, but we never exchanged numbers or any vital information that could be used to find each other later, if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/36 "2009-02-19T13:49:34Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Well, I wont call anybody here a liar but I find it rather dubious that so many people on a board are so totally against unsafe sex. Yet out there IRL this isn’t the case. At least not in my experience. > > And I’ve been through the whole gamut of women too. From Strippers to College educated career minded women. I agree, I don’t think the prevailing attitude of most people (when lust strikes) is; “Where’s the nearest BC device?” At least not my experience. Most recently (current SO) the misses was not on BC yet and I flirted with disaster on a couple nights when we didn’t expect to have sex but ended up down that road anyway (things happen). I used condoms 9 times out of 10, until she went on BC. This is about how most of my LTR’s have gone. Most of the time BC is involved but not _every time_. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/37 "2009-02-19T13:53:50Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Straight male here. > > I have never and will never use a condom. Strangely enough, I’ve been with way more than my fair share of women. Off the top of my head, I think I can count only two women in my life have asked me to use a condom. > > When asked by these two women to use a condom, my response was “I don’t use condoms. Maybe it’s best if we just don’t have sex. We’ll just lay here and go to sleep.” (or something to that effect. I made it a point of NOT pressuring her into “sans-condom” sex.) > > . . . I know it’s a rather pragmatic way of thinking but my opinion is people owe it’s prosperity to so called “unsafe sex”. If people only had sex the way health nuts and Christians said you should do it; humanity would have died out a long time ago. It’s been [said before](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5551679&postcount=18), but it bears repeating: **SHAKES** , my lad, you are a compass that, infallibly, points south. By all means continue to give advice; it’s highly useful. Anyway, that’s not at all a “pragmatic” way of thinking. Rather, it’s exactly the opposite: it’s an _abstract and irrelevant_ way of thinking (unless your goal is to cause pregnancy every time you have sex). I’d be shocked if that were the real reason you don’t like using condoms. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/38 "2009-02-19T14:09:42Z")
If ever asked I would comply. I never turned down a chance just because there was no protection available. Of course that is all ancient history, I’ve been with my wife for about 15 years. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/39 "2009-02-19T14:18:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Sexually active straight men Have you ever asked a one-night stand or short-term lover if you could have sex without a condom? Did you ask if she was on BC? Did she acquiesce? Also, has a woman asked you not to wear one? My days of playing the field are long over. But when I did, I was a very active guy. I always asked about BC and condoms. The vast majority of women that I was with did not want me to wear a condom, but the few that did ask had their wish granted. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442/40 "2009-02-19T14:21:32Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > It’s been [said before](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5551679&postcount=18), but it bears repeating: **SHAKES** , my lad, you are a compass that, infallibly, points south. By all means continue to give advice; it’s highly useful. > > . What part of my post did I give anyone advice? :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-sans-condom/486442.md?page=3)