# Sex survey
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 18, 2001, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245 "2001-06-18T21:05:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@zensi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zensi)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/1 "2001-06-18T21:05:50Z")
A few of my friends and i have this ongoing research project where we ask random people to _honestly_ answer a set of seven questions about sex, sexuality, and love.
1. What is your sexual orientation?
2. Define “sex”
3. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?
4. Does hand-sex count as sex?
5. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other?
6. What is your take on group sex?
7. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?
Generally speaking, most males have similar answers, and the same goes for females (keep in mind that we’ve only surveyed a handful of people). For example, on #7, the majority of males that we surveyed responded by first stating that they would know, almost by intuition, which was the male and which was the female. Many of the males then proceeded in stating that they wouldn’t enjoy either, because they wouldn’t know who was on the giving end. Most of the females we surveyed said that, yes, they would enjoy recieving cunnilingus from both parties.
Some of the answers we get are really interessting. When asked to define sex, my friend Patrick said, “A fluid exchange between two people.”
Anyone care to give their answers?
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### Author:  [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/2 "2001-06-18T21:14:10Z")
You’re a teenager, right?
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### Author:  [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/3 "2001-06-18T21:53:32Z")
Oh, come on, Dave. You _know_ you are just dying to answer the survey! 😉
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### Author:  [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/4 "2001-06-18T22:16:49Z")
Ok, fine.
1. Due to the way my bed is positioned, usually north.
2. One more than five.
3. In between the couch and the bed. With chalk.
4. Techincally, hand sex counts as bowling. Hockey, if you’re really into it.
5. No, they are not together. Cuddling is something you can do with many different types of livestock, but I wouldn’t kiss them, I’m not a deeve.
6. Why don’t y’all bend over and let’s find out?
7. Why would I not know which is which if they were blindfolded? Shouldn’t you be asking them this question?
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/5 "2001-06-18T22:30:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by zensi \*
> \*\*
>
> 1. What is your sexual orientation?
\*\*
Down right now, but when I get excited it points straight out.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Define “sex”
The process of making a woo-woo, a tinkleberry, or both very happy.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?
If you made the woo-woo or the tinkleberry satisfied you had sex.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Does hand-sex count as sex?
Unless your referring to making an O with the thumb and forefinger of one hand and sliding the index finger back and forth in the hole, then I’d say yes, unless, of course the tinkleberry or the woo-woo in question weren’t made happy and have blue-balls and whatever women get. PMS?
5. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other?
> [@](#):
>
> 1. What is your take on group sex?
Well if we’re are referring to a trained group of hundreds of women workinng in shifts and dedicated to making my tinkleberrry happy 24 hours a day, and a trained group of hundreds of men dedicated to thinking of new and exciting ways for the trained women to make my tinkleberry happy, then I guess that would be an okay form of group sex. Any other form of group sex would be immoral, illegal, against the Bible and bad.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?
This is a toughy. Do I get to see them beforehand? Because if the guy looks like Ernest Borgnine, chances are I’m not gonna enjoy either. If the woman looks like an old biker bar babe than that wouldn’t be too cool either.
What you mean “of equal skill?” What if their both really bad and using their teeth and shit. I would hate that. Supposing the person in question makes a yummy sound while their doing this. Then I’d know. And if it was the guy and I was enjoying it that would mean I was a homosexual, right.
Oh no no no. I wouldn’t enjoy the male. I’d know of course because I am an Uberheterosexual, and very manly. It would be impossible to fool me. You won’t catch me with that trick question.
Seriously. Well, if I was tied up and blindfolded I would have two choices. Either think it’s the babe and enjoy it, or think it’s the guy and get all full of anxiety and pretend not to enjoy it, or feel weird. I’ll just imagine it’s a girl. I mean big deal, when I masturbate it’s my hand on my penis, and I’m a guy. Does the fact that my penis likes what I do with my male hand make me a homosexual?
If a girl whacks off a gay guy, while he thinks about men does that make him straight?
Oh come on with this shit.
\*\*
[/QUOTE]
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/6 "2001-06-18T22:32:48Z")
How did I forget number 5?
That’s weird. My wife asks me the same thing.
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### Author:  [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/7 "2001-06-18T22:39:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> or feel weird
Don’t you dare! I’m straight! Try the billy goat, I hear they’re not baaaaaaad.
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### Author:  [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/8 "2001-06-18T22:41:16Z")
And over to IMHO it goes.
your humble TubaDiva
Administrator
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### Author:  [@deepbluesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deepbluesea)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/9 "2001-06-19T02:01:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by zensi \*
> \*\*1. What is your sexual orientation? \*\*
Sexual orientation? That’s not anything like freshman orientation, is it? And if so, is there any way I can test out of it?
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*2. Define “sex”
\*\*Ten points in Scrabble.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*3. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?
\*\* Isn’t that a little, oh, I dunno - dictatorial? I don’t so much draw the line as encourage each individual to find his own.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*4. Does hand-sex count as sex?
\*\* Hand-sex? Is that anything like one of those handcrafted ales?
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*5. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently?
\*\* Well, lemme just check my DSM-IV…nope, nope, they’re clearly different categories. Now, as for **values** , bucky, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if I keep doing your math homework for you, how will you ever learn?
> [@](#):
>
> **6. What is your take on group sex?**
::checks production notes:: Take 617. Dammit, where’d that clapboard go?
> [@](#):
>
> **7. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?**
Well, I always did before.
Now, on to more important topics: what _is_ it with this guy/girl oral sex question? It was in [Dan Savage](http://www.thestranger.com/current/savage.html) last week, [Superdude](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=74770) was just talking about it, and now here. Plus I think I’ve seen it a couple other places too. This is one of those tipping point things, isn’t it?
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### Author:  [@zensi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zensi)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/10 "2001-06-19T03:20:34Z")
1. Yes,I am a teenager.
2. Sorry I put this in the wrong forum.
3. No, you do not get to see your mystery fellatist or cunnilingist before the fact.
4. Both performers of oral sex are very very good, and equally so.
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### Author:  [@zensi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zensi)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/11 "2001-06-19T03:26:15Z")
I’m not sure what it is about the oral sex question, deepbluesea, but it’s been on my need-to-know list for a long time.
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### Author:  [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/12 "2001-06-19T03:59:34Z")
1. What is your sexual orientation? _bisexual, male preference._
2. Define “sex”\* well, sex is an act in which there are three different types of acts: male/female [vaginal copulation], male/male[anal copulation], female/female[cunnilingus]\*
3. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex? _I follow the guidelines in #2._
4. Does hand-sex count as sex? _not in my book_
5. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other? _Kissing is one thing, and cuddling normally involves kissing. Otherwise they are mutually separate._
6. What is your take on group sex? _Be careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings and always use condoms._
7. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally? _I wouldn’t know the difference, so I will probablu enjoy both equally, since both provide pleasure to me in a similar manner. It really depends on the ability of the cunnilingist._
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### Author:  [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/13 "2001-06-19T04:05:15Z")
LOL, Scylla! Was that from a Dr. Laura caller? I think it rings a bell.
Okay, let’s see how well I can do on this quiz:
> [@](#):
>
> 1. What is your sexual orientation?
1. Dis.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Define “sex”
1. Yes, de sex is quite fine indeed, thank you!
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?
1. When you remove the clown makeup and the red rubber nose, you are no longer fooling around.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Does hand-sex count as sex?
Of course! Where do you think little baby hands come from? Foot sex?
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other?
According to my teddy bear, cuddling is much more meaningful than kissing.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. What is your take on group sex?
5% of the gross.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?
I would wonder why they’re bothering with me and not just getting it on themselves.
{Note: Edited to fix coding. Lynn}
[Edited by Lynn Bodoni on 06-18-2001 at 11:17 PM]
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### Author:  [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/14 "2001-06-19T04:06:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by zensi \*
> **1. What is your sexual orientation?**
Straight
> [@](#):
>
> **2. Define "sex"**
Contact with someone else’s genitalia (handjobs, blowjobs, it’s all sex to me).
> [@](#):
>
> **3. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?**
Once the clothes start really coming off, or there is contact with the genitalia.
> [@](#):
>
> **4. Does hand-sex count as sex?**
Yes.
> [@](#):
>
> **5. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other?**
I think they are both very special, but neither would be as nice without the other.
> [@](#):
>
> **6. What is your take on group sex?**
I think sex is something intimate, and should not involve third parties.
> [@](#):
>
> **7. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?**
Probably.
> [@](#):
>
> **Some of the answers we get are really interessting. When asked to define sex, my friend Patrick said, "A fluid exchange between two people."**
This involves tongue-kissing then? (Just kidding, I’m only being a smartass.)
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### Author:  [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/15 "2001-06-19T04:17:15Z")
1. What is your sexual orientation?
Heterosexual
1. Define “sex”
When genitalia are stimulated with the intention of causing an orgasm, but what’s penetrating what does make a difference - at one end you can have masturbation, even by yourself, at the other you have genitals penetrating orifices.
1. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?
Still fooling around - groping and/or stroking a woman’s vulva for a few seconds
Sex - slipping a finger in and/or deliberately stimulating the clitoris trying to get her off
1. Does hand-sex count as sex?
Yes
1. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other?
It depends, long wet kisses are more intimate than a hug or sitting on the couch with your arm around someone, while wrapping around each other in bed or forming ‘spoons’ is more intimate than a quick kiss goodbye.
1. What is your take on group sex?
Depends on who is in the group for me, but I don’t see any problems with any of it between consenting adults.
1. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?
Nope, oral sex in and of itself doesn’t really do much for me, the sensations are nice but I was only able to get off from it once in my life (and I’ve had it done to me by 5 women, some of them very experienced). When I want it the enjoyment I get is more mental and emotional, and since I don’t feel the same about men as I do about women, having it done to me by a man has zero appeal for me.
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### Author:  [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/16 "2001-06-19T04:25:13Z")
#1 Bisexual
#2 Penetration, (digital, oral and vaginal/or anal copulation) or skin and/or mouth to genital contact.
#3 See #2
#4 Yes.
#5 Nope, kissing is great if done right, but I save the cuddles for my hubby.
#6 Can be fun with the right people and condoms are essential.
#7 I suppose I would, but in all honesty, I’d prefer NOT to be blindfolded.
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### Author:  [@Just\_A\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_A_Girl)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/17 "2001-06-19T07:25:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by zensi \*
> \*\*
>
> 1. What is your sexual orientation?
> 2. Define “sex”
> 3. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?
> 4. Does hand-sex count as sex?
> 5. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other?
> 6. What is your take on group sex?
> 7. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?
> \*\*
1. Heterosexual
2. The most physically intimate act that can occur between two people, varying with sexual orientation…penetration with straight couples, anal penetration with gay male couples, and cunnilingus with gay female couples
3. With straight couples - the line is drawn with penetration…honestly, I don’t know where to draw the line with gay couples…I don’t know, call me sheltered
4. No
5. I don’t classify them together because kissing can be immensely more sexual than cuddling ever can. I mean, you can cuddle a dog…but you don’t have sex with it…well, presumably anyway. Anyway, I don’t think they necesarily differ in value because both are intimate.
6. Sex is an intimate act which should be practiced between people in love. Unless it’s a multiple-partner relationship (hey, it takes all kinds to make the world go round 😉 ), outside parties are inappropriate.
7. I probably wouldn’t enjoy either because that stuff does nothing for me if it isn’t with someone I love. Nevertheless, I’d “enjoy” them the same because it’s not a question of gender preference - only physical stimulation. If they are, in theory, exactly the same in talent, then it’ll feel the same to me.
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### Author:  [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/18 "2001-06-19T10:34:54Z")
This is a hilarious thread. 😃 Thanks to those of you posting funny responses. Keep it up…[sub]so to speak.[/sub]
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### Author:  [@BooBoo316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooBoo316)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/19 "2001-06-19T12:04:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by zensi \*
> \*\*
>
> 1. What is your sexual orientation?
> 2. Define “sex”
> 3. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?
> 4. Does hand-sex count as sex?
> 5. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other?
> 6. What is your take on group sex?
> 7. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?
> \*\*
1. Hetero all the way, Baby. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)
2. When your naughty bits get together with their naughty bits.
3. When the Wesson oil comes into play and the pets go to hide.
4. If you do it right, yes.
5. Depends on if it leads to #2.
6. About 30%. What, are you my accountant now?
7. If it is being done by them at the same time, I would enjoy it 50%.
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### Author:  [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-survey/69245/20 "2001-06-19T15:26:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> 1. What is your sexual orientation?
1. I took orienteering when I was a Boy Scout. I really wish I remembered what they taught me.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Define “sex”
1. The sum of the structural, functional, and behavioral characteristics of living things that are involved in reproduction by two interacting parents and that distinguish males and females. Also, known as “little boy parts” and “little girl parts”. Also, I want to sex you up.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Where do you draw the line between fooling around and sex?
1. Just this weekend I was fooling around by walking on the railing of a bridge like a tightrope. I haven’t the slightest idea how someone could turn that into sex, so the line is probably somewhere around there.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Does hand-sex count as sex?
1. As long as you keep one hand on the floor, it’s not really hand-sex.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Are cuddling and kissing classified together, or do you value them differently? That is, is one more meaningful than the other?
1. Cuddling is from the cuddiliferus genus, whereas kissing is from the smoocherus genus. Same kingdom, phylum, class, family, and order, though.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. What is your take on group sex?
1. More, please.
> [@](#):
>
> 1. Assume that oral sex is being performed on you by two people of the same skill level, one male and one female, and you dont know which is which (blindfolded, elc.) Would you enjoy both equally?
1. Both at the same time? Well, heh, I’m flattered, but I’m really not that endowed. I do enjoy the implication that it takes two people, though.
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