# Sex & the Bible question **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 20, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074 "2000-05-20T22:40:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/1 "2000-05-20T22:40:58Z")
I know there are all sorts of things in the Bible forbidding having sex with animals, homosexuality, while a woman is menstrating, etc., but is there anything in there that regulates what kind of sex a husband & wife can have, such as oral/anal sex, different positions, whatever. I really can’t find anything, but then again in seems like God wrote much of this book in secret code. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/2 "2000-05-20T23:14:12Z")
Pk (is that as in “preacher’s kid”?), it depends entirely on who you ask. If you ask me, then the answer is “No.” And frankly, if you look only at the words written in the Bible, the answer is “No.” But, the Bible is consistently butchered into every translation desired by differing sects. If you want to be a fascist, the Bible can be tweaked to support that. A homophobe, ditto. A dominating, abusive husband, sure. A proponent of gay priests, it’s there to be unlocked. Anywho, some say the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was due to the fact they were practicing oral and anal sex; I say it was because they were cities full of evil jerks. (Good grief, as the story goes, they wanted to rape the angel that had come to visit Lot, fercryinoutloud–not exactly class people.) Heck, as Jay Leno said, if Hollywood is still standing, then God owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. Some will say anything other than the mission position is unholy. (I remember a youth pastor saying, “I think God made it pretty obvious which tab goes in what slot.”) Others will say anything is acceptable between two consenting adults in marriage. But is there a specific verse outlining acceptable sexual positions? Nope, there is no “Thou Shalt Not 69.” ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/3 "2000-05-20T23:15:53Z")
BTW, I’m not equating fascists with gay priests–just illustrating the extremes that can use the same book as their support. ---
**Author:** ![avalongod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@avalongod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/avalongod)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/4 "2000-05-21T00:30:13Z")
I agree with Ruffian…I think there is a quote in there somewhere that can be loooooooosely interpreted as suggesting a preference for missionary position, but I can hardly believe that Samson and Delialah or David and Bathsheba were sticking to it when they “came unto” each other. ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/5 "2000-05-21T01:05:36Z")
While the Bible doesn’t fully explain in specific detail as you’ve outlined your questions, the words used are, ‘God made the marriage bed holy and undefiled.’ Which certainly seems to imply freedom and joy in a mutually satisfying relationship. ---
**Author:** ![JoltSucker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/6 "2000-05-21T01:10:30Z")
> [@](#): > > I remember a youth pastor saying, "I think God made it pretty obvious which tab goes in what slot. Oh, he must have meant doggie style, I guess. :p:D:p ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/7 "2000-05-21T02:34:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > While the Bible doesn’t fully explain in specific detail as you’ve outlined your questions, the words used are, ‘God made the marriage bed holy and undefiled.’ Which certainly seems to imply freedom and joy in a mutually satisfying relationship. > \*\* Yes, Antipro, but each person’s definition of “holy and undefiled” tends to differ wildly. Personally, I agree with you–freedom, fun, joy, experimentation, etc. But, there are those–many of them–who believed “undefiled” means very conservative, mission-position only, nothing “unnatural” (whatever that means). Bor-ing! ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/8 "2000-05-21T03:08:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Yes, Antipro, but each person’s definition of “holy and undefiled” tends to differ wildly. Personally, I agree with you–freedom, fun, joy, experimentation, etc. But, there are those–many of them–who believed “undefiled” means very conservative, mission-position only, nothing “unnatural” (whatever that means). Bor-ing! > \*\* That’s why I think the exact quote, not the specification is important. If people who are frightened of their own sexuality want to see it as ‘honey, that’s \* dirty! \*’ they will anyway. But, they ought not to blame it on the Bible, just chalk it up as being too scared/nervous/afraid of how they’ll look/what would mama think to try anything new or different. ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/9 "2000-05-21T03:16:19Z")
I don’t know the Bible well enough to speak to the question, but I think it important to note that God didn’t write the Bible. ---
**Author:** ![HorseloverFat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8e8cbc/32.png) [@HorseloverFat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HorseloverFat)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/10 "2000-05-21T06:53:02Z")
I can’t see how one remote and dead culture’s thoughts on sex can have any bearing today. I think any sex is okay as long as you aren’t using the Bible as a marital aide, that is if you’re a religious type. ---
**Author:** ![Beakeroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@Beakeroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beakeroni)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/11 "2000-05-21T07:20:48Z")
You want to know what’s kinky? My folks made love while listening to Jack Hyles’ sermons on tape. I figured it out one night, when I heard my mother over the sound of Jack ripping the devil a good one! Yow. I went straight to bed and shut the door. Still makes me uneasy. I guess that it’s cool that my folks were still interested in each other, but still… ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2000, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/12 "2000-05-21T08:48:52Z")
There are afew. It is “unclean” to have sex with your wife during her period, and for a certain time after she gives birth. (OT). There are some railings about the “sins of Sodom”, but whether these include sex acts between man & wife is unclear, and doubtful. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/13 "2000-05-22T16:08:53Z")
From the Orthodox Jewish perspective: As Danielinthewolvesden said, sex with one’s wife is forbidden when she is bleeding from her private areas, whether the reason is menstruation, childbirth, miscarriage, or breaking of the hymen. The custom is to wait a week after the bleeding stops, and she then immerses in a Mikvah, or ritual bath. As far as positions go, here’s the straight dope: Nothing is actually _forbidden_. In fact, anal sex is (according to the Talmud) expressly _premitted_ by the Torah (although they do use the euphemism “not the usual way” to refer to it). Regarding oral sex, fellatio, as far as I can tell, is perfectly OK, cunnilingus is considered “immodest,” i.e., the pious wouldn’t do that, but it’s not forbidden outright. Also in the category of “immodest” is any position in which the man is not on top. Ruffian: According to the Talmudic Rabbis, the evil of Sodom and Gomorrah had nothing to do with their sexual practices, but rather, their extreme hostility toward strangers. Sycorax: > [@](#): > > I don’t know the Bible well enough to speak to the question, but I think it important to note that God didn’t write the Bible. Thank you for volunteering your opinion. Please do us the favor of not presenting it as absolute fact. HorseloverFat: > [@](#): > > I can’t see how one remote and dead culture’s thoughts on sex can have any bearing today. Judaic culture is alive and well, thank you, and unless you live in Antarctica, probably not very remote, either. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/14 "2000-05-22T16:28:06Z")
If “sodomy” is named after Sodom, what is one doing when one is gomorrahizing? :D:D ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/15 "2000-05-22T16:35:31Z")
From The King James verion of The Bible: > [@](#): > > _Genesis 19:1-8_ > **1** And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing [them] rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground; > > **2** And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant’s house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night. > > **3** And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat. > > **4** But before they lay down, the men of the city, [even] the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter: > > **5** And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where [are] the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them. > > **6** And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him, > > **7** And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly. > > **8** Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as [is] good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof. So Lot wouldn’t let the Sodomites “know” the angels (just sounds like he was a greedy host), but he was willing to throw his virgin daughters to the crowd. Not “Father of the Year” material, is he? :D:D ---
**Author:** ![sdimbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdimbert/32/20204_2.png) [@sdimbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdimbert)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/16 "2000-05-22T17:03:52Z")
As usual, once **cmkeller** shows up, I don’t have a lot to add. But I would point you to [_Kosher Sex_](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0385494653/qid=959014483/sr=1-1/102-5435817-9284040) by Rabbi Shmuel Boteach. It is a controversial book that claims to examine some of the issues raised in the OP. If I can recall some of his ideas, he points out that, unlike any other animal, man can copulate facing his partner. This suggests that, inherent in the design, is the idea that sex is supposed to include emotional connection between those involved; the sort of thing that can be missing from other sexual positions. I hypothesize that, like most areas of religious instruction, a general and loosely-worded suggestion was twisted into much more rigid rules over the millenia. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/17 "2000-05-22T20:20:01Z")
Don’t forget the sin of Onan, who was struck dead by God because he “spilled it on the ground.” Onan’s brother had died, and according to tradition, he was supposed to impregnate his brother’s wife. The child would then be considered his brother’s. Onan practiced \* coitus interruptus \* and was struck down for it. ---
**Author:** ![JoltSucker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/18 "2000-05-22T22:07:21Z")
[slight thread hijack]For what it’s worth, Sodomy is defined by the Commonwealth of Virginia as any sex between two people that doesn’t place a penis inside of a vagina. _ **That includes married people!** _ When DC repealed their sodomy laws, there was a big multi-page spread in the Washington Post, that covered the law (and it’s enforcement) in surrounding Maryland and Virginia. There was a story there about a man who was on the stand in a messy custody case. The opposing lawyer asked the man if he ever performed oral sex on his wife, and he (thinking it was an innocuous question) answered “of course”. He’s still in jail, and of course, he lost out on the custody battle. ---
**Author:** ![TheProblemForce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/848f3c/32.png) [@TheProblemForce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheProblemForce)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2000, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/19 "2000-05-22T22:18:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > [slight thread hijack]For what it’s worth, Sodomy is defined by the Commonwealth of Virginia as any sex between two people that doesn’t place a penis inside of a vagina. _ **That includes married people!** _ When DC repealed their sodomy laws, there was a big multi-page spread in the Washington Post, that covered the law (and it’s enforcement) in surrounding Maryland and Virginia. There was a story there about a man who was on the stand in a messy custody case. The opposing lawyer asked the man if he ever performed oral sex on his wife, and he (thinking it was an innocuous question) answered “of course”. He’s still in jail, and of course, he lost out on the custody battle. > \*\* This sounds a little odd. . .wouldn’t his wife have had to participate, too? And wouldn’t that make her just as guilty of violating (no pun intended) the sodomy laws as he was? ---
**Author:** ![Sycorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Sycorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sycorax)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2000, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074/20 "2000-05-23T00:43:12Z")
CMKeller - you may be a fount of knowledge on Orthodox Judaism, but does the Torah say anything about being snotty to people with whom you disagree? Sorry if I offended you, but I didn’t know there was any debate (by theologians or anyone) about who wrote the Bible (i.e., male persons). If you mean that the men who wrote it were divinely inspired, well then, that is open to debate. Shalom. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-the-bible-question/20074.md?page=2)