# Sex toy: Need advice... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 21, 2003, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951 "2003-01-21T07:28:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/1 "2003-01-21T07:28:20Z")
I can’t believe I’m asking this, but… Any way for an 18 year old male living with parents to order a sex toy over the mail without the aforementioned parents discovering it upon delivery and causing this hypothetical person undue embarresment? Of course, this advice is just for… a friend… yeah, that’s the ticket. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/2 "2003-01-21T07:31:09Z")
Post office box. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/3 "2003-01-21T07:43:43Z")
How much would that cost? ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/4 "2003-01-21T08:06:04Z")
I pay like $20 for six months, for my PO Box. Your local prices may vary. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/5 "2003-01-21T10:51:48Z")
PO box. Just get one. You’ll be able to use it as a permanent mailbox for the next couple of years. And no, you don’t need one the same size as that blow-up doll, just a small one and they will give you a ticket to pick up a brown package at the counter. That or be brave and enter the grown-up world of buying your toys. Walk into a sex shop, look the owner in the eye and say “I want a pocket p\*\*\*y.” They won’t even blink. That is what they do for a living. No embarrasment, no worries. Well, maybe there will be a moment of embarrasment as they test the vibrating egg with batteries to see if it works. No returns policy, y’know? -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![white-tigeress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f475e1/32.png) [@white-tigeress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/white-tigeress)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/6 "2003-01-21T10:51:51Z")
Males use sex toys how ?? LOL ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/7 "2003-01-21T10:53:05Z")
I believe most such items ship in nonembarrassing brown boxes with nothing on the exterior to say “Sex Toyz”. So unless the parents of this hypothetical person are the sort to grill him “What _was_ that package you got in the mail? Well, aren’tcha gonna open it here in front of the family?”… ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/8 "2003-01-21T12:38:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > I believe most such items ship in nonembarrassing brown boxes with nothing on the exterior to say “Sex Toyz”. So unless the parents of this hypothetical person are the sort to grill him “What _was_ that package you got in the mail? Well, aren’tcha gonna open it here in front of the family?”… However, ordering from them might well get you some indiscreetly-labeled catalogs - or onto other porn/sex toy company mailing lists - that the parents would notice. I’d say go for a PO box if you really want privacy. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/9 "2003-01-21T15:21:07Z")
ah, yes, the catalogs. My parents once found out that I’d won some magazine subscriptions in a drawing of some sort, so they used it to order like seventeen different magazines. Then the catalogs started coming in. This was an address they moved to after I was in college; I never ordered anything there. And they always mentioned I was getting Playboy catalogs. I blamed them. Until finally my brother reminded me that over the summer I once placed an order for a playboystore _shirt_. . . ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/10 "2003-01-21T15:41:40Z")
Most shipments from _toy stores_ do come in discreet packaging (from my own experience). The only catalogs I’ve ever received were from the toy company I used, and these came in white envelopes. Nothing spalshy about what was inside was to be seen on boxes or envelopes. Is there not a shop nearby where you can shop for yourself, or is there something specific you want and can’t get it any other way…? (insert sexual joke here) If you are too embarrassed to have packages sent to home (you are an adult now afterall…) then a PO box is a cheap, short term alternative. Have fun, and I hope you find what you are looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Harli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@Harli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harli)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/11 "2003-01-21T15:57:30Z")
I’m actually getting into the online adult toy industry. Most places do ship in discreet packaging, but always get in touch with them to find out if it does not indicate such on the website. Also, eBay has an extensive Mature Audiences section, which requires credit card verification for access. Just check the seller’s feedback rating, and get in touch with them regarding their shipping methods. (I’ve got a few items up there, so feel free to email me with any questions 😉 ) There also might be an option of having the item shipped to a friend’s house…maybe… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by white-tigeress_ > **Males use sex toys how ?? LOL** I could tell you…but some things we need to learn on our own, my dear 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/12 "2003-01-21T17:26:45Z")
A PO Box or a box at one of those mailbox ect type places is probably the best wat to go. Or You could try a variation on the classic of ‘Give me large slushie, a nail clipper, some gum, a playboy, some motor oil and some kitty litter’ by ordering everything you buy online. That way you start getting packages every day and then you can sneak in one from butt-plugs R us. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/13 "2003-01-21T17:37:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \* > \*\*However, ordering from them might well get you some indiscreetly-labeled catalogs - or onto other porn/sex toy company mailing lists - that the parents would notice. I’d say go for a PO box if you really want privacy. \*\* Not necessarily. Not if you’re dealing with a reputable company. Blowfish certainly has never sold my name to anyone, and their catalog comes in an envelope so descrete my SO took it for a letter from an insurance company. And they won’t even send that if you don’t ask them to. I think it’s really a question of- will his parents pry into any unusual mail he gets, or not. If not, I don’t think it’s a problem. white tigerss, you really need to broaden your horizens. Or improve your imagination 🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/14 "2003-01-21T18:13:19Z")
you can’t go to a nice shop and walk out with a package under your arm? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/15 "2003-01-21T19:20:06Z")
Go to the nearest red light disctrict, approach the least-seedy looking adult shop, take a deep breath, wipe the sweat from your brow and walk in. One you pass the threshold the uphill battle is over. Sure there’s the downside: Someone you know might possibly see you (who cares, and why were they in that part of town anyway?). You’re probably gonna have to pay sales tax. But on the upside: You actually get to see what your buying. The net / magazine ads make the products look much better than they are. The likelihood you credit card # will get stolen all but disappears. You don’t have to worry about _popping up_ on snail mail or e-mail spam lists. You saved the trouble and expense of getting a PO/Mail Express Box. (Besides, don’t most online retailers require the credit card & shipping address to match?) If you have any extra quarters you wanna get rid of, there’s always those back booths. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/16 "2003-01-21T23:19:08Z")
I agree with the folks who suggest just walking in a store and perusing the goods. I wanted to die the first time I did it, but once past the threshold, it’s cake. Moreover, about the third time you do it, you lose ALL shame (or at least I did) and start asking questions about what’s the best bang for your buck… Which reminds me of a joke… What’s the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny prostitute? One’s a phony buck… ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/17 "2003-01-22T01:42:11Z")
If you do choose to buy online, I recommend [Adam and Eve](http://www.adamandeve.com/). They have high quality products and give you lots of “interesting” freebees. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/18 "2003-01-22T03:08:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \* > \*\*However, ordering from them might well get you some indiscreetly-labeled catalogs - or onto other porn/sex toy company mailing lists - that the parents would notice. \*\* When my wife and I moved into our new apartment, the landladies warned us that the previous occupant had received “interesting mail.” Sure enough, we did recieve unsolicited porn mags in the mail more than once. All I can say is, thank God the landladies told both of us, or I would have had a lot of explaining to do when my wife opened one of the “interesting magazines.” ---
**Author:** ![Harli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@Harli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harli)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/19 "2003-01-22T03:08:16Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by JohnBckWLD_ > **(Besides, don’t most online retailers require the credit card & shipping address to match?)** No, they do not. I have been working in e-commerce for 3 years, for a total of 6 different websites (plus eBay), and never have we ever required the same shipping address as the billing address. Most online credit card systems allow for different billing and shipping addresses. And no, this does not mean that a “bill” will be sent to your billing address. It is only used for credit card verification. You paint an ugly picture of online retail, JohnBckWLD. Believe me, it ain’t all that bad. If you can make contact with someone on the other end, they’re not going to rip you off or steal your credit card number or anything like that. Trust me, a much more profitable business is run by being genuine and honest. **Blalron** , do not fear the webstore. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951/20 "2003-01-22T03:17:56Z")
Go to a shop. It is much more fun, you will always find that what you see in online catalogs does not necessarily resemble the real products, and you get to check the whole selection … not that I’ve ever been in one. No! A friend told me 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-toy-need-advice/149951.md?page=2)