# Sex with an Ex **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199 "2008-01-11T23:40:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/1 "2008-01-11T23:40:07Z")
Would you consider having sex with your ex? I’m thinking more husband/wife than boyfriend/girlfriend. Hell, I would nail at least a half dozen ex girlfriends if they gave me a chance. Feel free to chime in if you are gay of course. I’m saying that you had to love this person or have very strong feelings for him/her. I’m talking about sex with no strings, no consequences, no angst, hot monkey sex basically. The reason I bring this up is that I got a strange phone call from my ex wife last week and I keep thinking about it. We still talk on occasion, we certainly don’t hate each other. We usually just talk about her daughters and mine ( both from previous marriages. ) We were married for seven years and have been divorced for five years. Not that it really matters but I’m 44 and she is 48. We chit chat for about 15 minutes or so and out of the blue kind of with a sigh says " we were really great in bed together weren’t we." My brain kind of vapor locked for a few seconds. I recovered and said honestly " It was the best sex I have ever had" Which was the truth, by the way. This woman was a sex panther on steroids in the sack. Morning wood? no problem . I think I turned her down more than she turned me down. What makes it all the more perplexing is that she is married. :eek: I know their marriage is on the rocks but jeez. Anyway, before I bore you all to tears, If she got divorced and sent the signals that said " Hey gravitycrash! would you like screw me like the world will end in 24 hours?" I would say “hell yes, your place or mine?” So would you? ---
**Author:** ![Dunawake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dunawake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunawake)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/2 "2008-01-11T23:45:22Z")
[QUOTE=gravitycrash] I’m saying that you had to love this person or have very strong feelings for him/her. I’m talking about sex with no strings, no consequences, no angst, hot monkey sex basically. [/QUOTE] This is the kicker, I don’t think ever see myself in a situation where all those conditions were met, ex or no ex. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/3 "2008-01-11T23:56:46Z")
No. My first ex I barely had interest in even at the time. The 2nd, well let’s just say the sex got to be awfully routine and I really have no desire to do it with him again. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/4 "2008-01-12T00:02:07Z")
With \*my \* ex…no way in hell. I mean that in a specific person kinda way. If somebody else were my ex, I might give it some thought. But with him? Nuh uh. ---
**Author:** ![BrknButterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@BrknButterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrknButterfly)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/5 "2008-01-12T00:02:33Z")
I’ve done it twice… With ex number one mainly because we hadn’t seen each other in 4 years. Then all of a sudden we were in the same room, alone, and talking about the past. Of course one thing led to another… (I instigated) and well ya know… It was mind blowing… lol and ex number 2 was my ex husband. No clue why I went there. I was over getting the last of my stuff out of his house. Not exactly sure how that started, but I am pretty sure he started it. Was better then I remembered, but I think that was mainly because he hadn’t got laid since I left. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/6 "2008-01-12T00:30:28Z")
Absolutely not at this point. I’m not sure if there ever was a time I’d have said yes - maybe, but it was long ago. (We’ve been apart for 10 years now.) ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/7 "2008-01-12T00:32:23Z")
twice with ex-GFs. It was freakin wonderful both times. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/8 "2008-01-12T00:47:12Z")
[QUOTE=Dunawake] This is the kicker, I don’t think ever see myself in a situation where all those conditions were met, ex or no ex. [/QUOTE] Oops, I should have included that first sentence in the first paragraph. I can see how that could be misunderstood with the way I wrote it. ---
**Author:** ![Labelless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f19dbf/32.png) [@Labelless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labelless)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/9 "2008-01-12T00:57:07Z")
Not one of my ex’s. Besides the fact that I’m married, even if I were single, no, never. They’re ex’s for a reason. Even if they were the best you ever had in bed. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/10 "2008-01-12T01:18:10Z")
Two of my ex’s were considered friends with ‘benefits’ until I met my husband. One of those ex’s is now on a bowling team with my husband (seven years now…), and the other works for the same company as me, but in a different department. We’re all still friends, they’re married now too. It just worked for us. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/11 "2008-01-12T01:39:13Z")
Well, considering that, in the ~12 years since we broke up, I’ve masturbated and orgasmed at the remembrance of the sex with him several times (not often–just occasionally), I wouldn’t be turning that shit down! Actually, I did try this once (with the same ex, as I have only the one ex). About three months after we broke up, he paid a visit to the States, and we agreed to meet up (he’d broken things off between us over the phone, which was fine, as it would’ve been ridiculously expensive for him to fly all the way here from Switzerland just to do _that_–so we were meeting for closure), and I, being my usual preternatually horny self, put all of my cards on the table. He declined my offer, explaining that having sex with me would be too difficult for him emotionally. That was wise on his part, as I would’ve likely suffered the same effect. But hell, I was horny, and he was hot (and as sweet as could be, too), so I was willing to take the risk and shed whatever tears I had to shed later on. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/12 "2008-01-12T03:11:41Z")
That is a good point \*\*li’l pluck ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/13 "2008-01-12T03:14:12Z")
Cute story li’l pluck.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/14 "2008-01-12T03:20:50Z")
Man, I suck at editing posts. Shoot me now or later when I get a good buzz on. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/15 "2008-01-12T03:30:13Z")
I would never, ever, have sex again with my ex-husband. Too much water under the bridge, there. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/16 "2008-01-12T03:30:57Z")
Sure, did that a couple times with my first ex (serious live-together-type boyfriend, not husband. I’m still on my first husband). There was no reason not to at the time because I knew we had absolutely no interest in getting involved again and neither of us was seeing anyone else. It was just sex with a familiar body. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/17 "2008-01-12T05:34:23Z")
[QUOTE=Mrs. Cake] Sure, did that a couple times with my first ex (serious live-together-type boyfriend, not husband. I’m still on my first husband). There was no reason not to at the time because I knew we had absolutely no interest in getting involved again and neither of us was seeing anyone else. It was just sex with a familiar body. [/QUOTE] That is exactly what I mean. Thank you for putting it more on point. My ex was a little batshit crazy, as long as the sexing was great..I didn’t care. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/18 "2008-01-12T05:42:23Z")
Never. Ever. Nope. No. Fucking. Way. In. Hell. Aside from being extremely happy now in my second marriage, I just couldn’t do that. Way, way to much baggage. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/19 "2008-01-12T05:50:40Z")
I had a serious ex with whom I lived for about six years. After we decided to split up, finances dictated that we continue to live together for a few months until the lease came up. At first it was awkward, but after a few weeks, things calmed down. We were both totally clear on a couple of things: (a) we had no desire to “get back together,” and (b) it would be completely inappropriate for either of us to start seeing someone else while we still lived together. Also, © we were both very horny people. So we started having crazy sex all the time. It worked well for both of us; we got our needs met, and we didn’t have to hurt each other’s feelings. (Obviously, it was an amicable breakup. We didn’t hate each other; we just realized that we both wanted to go in very different directions with our lives, and it was time for us to part ways.) ---
**Author:** ![Barrington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Barrington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrington)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2008, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199/20 "2008-01-12T12:18:04Z")
To answer the OP, no, I’ve never done it. My ex-wife and I are still on very good terms, but I have no reason to want sex with her. It would be complicated and wrong for both of us. But my main reason for replying is that it’s an extraordinary coincidence - last night, I dreamt that I was giving me ex my usual goodbye kiss on the cheek after visiting her, and she grabbed hold of me and kissed me hard on the mouth, tongues and all. I quickly got an erection which I pushed against her. End of dream. On waking, I thought it was a very weird dream, and more than a little unsettling. Especially since I’m now crazily in love with another woman. Then I sat at the computer and saw this thread. Heh. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-an-ex/433199.md?page=2)