# Sex with Animals **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 20, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403 "2000-03-20T17:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Robbespiere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/47e85d/32.png) [@Robbespiere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robbespiere)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/21 "2000-03-21T03:16:00Z")
I don’t know why some people are upset when they hear of people having sex with sheep. Some of them are quite cute. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/22 "2000-03-21T03:44:00Z")
What a disgusting thought… poor animals! I can’t say that I know anyone who’s had sex w/animals but my ex-husband went to school w/a guy that used to do his own sister. He also used to get a big piece of beef liver and mayonaise and go to town. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t get a couple of cows along the way. He lived on a dairy farm! * * * That John Denver’s full of shit man! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/23 "2000-03-21T03:52:00Z")
Robbespiere, you troll! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/24 "2000-03-21T04:09:00Z")
A guy walks into a bar looking pretty sad. The bartender says, “What’s wrong?” The guy says, “I’ve got a Ph.D in mechanical engineering, and I designed the world’s tallest building. I got my M.D. from Harvard where I discovered a cure for leukemia, and I designed and patented a gas-operated motor that gets 125 miles per gallon.” The bartender says, “Well, what’s the matter, then?” The guy says, “When people see me, do they say, ‘There goes the great inventer?’ No. Do they say, ‘There’s the world-renowned doctor?’ No. But you fuck one goat…” * * * I voted for Melin ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/25 "2000-03-21T04:13:00Z")
aenea, I was wondering how long it would take until you posted this! For the benefit of those who were not present at the NC Dopers’ meeting I will relay that I went to school with a young man who had sodomized a German Shepard. The school administration gathered us all together and warned us not to comment on the incident to him. He was still in therapy last time I checked. * * * I always try to do things in chronological order. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/26 "2000-03-21T04:33:00Z")
I once heard of a guy that was arrested at the Chicago Zoo. He snuck into the zoo during after hours and was discoved a top a ladder f\*\*\*ing an Elephant. I’m still LMAO! * * * If at first you don’t succeed you’re about average. ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/27 "2000-03-21T04:42:00Z")
I used to be a volunteer phone operator for San Francisco Sex Information. We received information on _every_ sexual practice known to humankind. Bestiality was _not_ the weirdest or most extreme thing we learned about. Ironically enough, the training regarding bestiality concentrated on the ethical question: Can an animal consent to sex? Opinion was divided. Additionally, I know one person who has specifically admitted to me to having sex with an animal, and I have very good reason to believe they were being honest. * * * “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away”. - Phillip K. Dick ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/28 "2000-03-21T04:59:00Z")
I’ll pass on Ellen DeGeneres’ joke about how when she was a girl her parents ran a petting zoo. And for people who _really_ loved animals they also had a heavy petting zoo. I’ll also mention that at the Houston Dopers get-together last January we were sharing stories about our jobs and I contributed one about a prisoner doing time at Attica for having sex with a horse. The reason he was doing major jail time was because it was his third conviction for this crime. ---
**Author:** ![Rectangle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c4cdca/32.png) [@Rectangle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rectangle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/29 "2000-03-21T05:42:00Z")
Well, the wife knows about this and I’ll share with the rest of you. I worked with a guy last year, he grew up in Arkansas, that confessed he was doing his dads cow one day when it deficated down the front of him. Nice lubricant!!! * * * I pity the fool that brings a knife to a gun fight. ---
**Author:** ![Popillia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Popillia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Popillia)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/30 "2000-03-21T05:44:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Mjollnir: > \*\*My older sister said that she had friends that did–don’t know if it’s true, though. > > I did have a schoolmate in high school who claimed to have had sex with–I’m _not_ making this up–a watermelon! > > He said he cut a hole in it and had a grand ole time. > > Never said anything about how the melon reacted.\*\* ## Hey Mjollnir, I had a friend in the USMC that said he and his buddys did the same thing. He talked fondly of going in the fields in the summer and cutting plugs out of the citron mellons and taking care of buisness. He said it was best after they laid out in the hot sun all day! He also said that one of his mellon humping buddies also claimed to have done a chicken. Don’t know how that worked out. Hey big man, let me hold a dollar. ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/31 "2000-03-21T07:22:00Z")
- - - Didi he say what it tasted like? - MC ---
**Author:** ![Moonshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Moonshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonshine)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/32 "2000-03-21T08:22:00Z")
What do you call a Welshman with 10 girlfriends? A shephard. ---
**Author:** ![Abe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f1d935/32.png) [@Abe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/33 "2000-03-21T09:52:00Z")
Larry Flynt explained that to have sex with a chicken you have to insert your penis into the fowl’s egg pouch. There is no doubt that bestiality occurs. There are a lot of amateur pictures on the net of housewives doing their dogs. I don’t imagine there’s a massive reward system for this sort of activity, so I assume that they are publishing their pictures on the web for kicks rather than money. Then there’s the live eel game–unlike the gerbil story, this one really happens (but typically performed by women). And there is also the story that I received a while ago, which is completely disgusting and probably false. A woman inserts the tail of a lobster in her vagina, then uses a lighter in its face to encourage the lobster to thrash its tail vigorously. During this process, the lobster excretes into the woman’s vagina. In its excretion are some eggs that it ate earlier. That’s pretty disgusting as it is. But then a few days later the eggs hatch into worms who grow extremely fast and eat the woman to a painful death in the middle of the night. probably not true, but disgusting. * * * Abe IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. –Ambrose Bierce ---
**Author:** ![TomH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90db22/32.png) [@TomH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TomH)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/34 "2000-03-21T13:24:00Z")
Abe, the lobster story is a UL. It was dealt with on this MB a few days ago, but I can’t find it with the so-called “search” engine. Snopes has an account [here](http://www.snopes.com/sex/bestial). **WARNING!** I may be an unusually sensitive soul, but the Snopes version of the story is particularly graphic and it left me feeling a bit queasy. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/35 "2000-03-21T13:37:00Z")
So the preacher is berating the congregation, and he’s working up his sermon to fever pitch. “You’re all sinners!” he thunders. “Every one of you! Men are sinning with women not their wives! Wives are sinning with men not their husbands! Brothers are sinning with their sisters! Sisters are sinning with their brothers! Parents are sinning with their children! You’re sinning with cows! You’re sinning with goats! You’re sinning with chickens!” … and a voice from the back says, “Ewwwww… chickens? That’s disgusting.” ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/36 "2000-03-21T14:54:00Z")
This lobster thing is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. I think that’s saying something, too. I feel ill… ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/37 "2000-03-21T15:15:00Z")
OK- UL territory, but it sure is funny if true- I read last year about Russian inmates collecting earthworms when working in the fields. They would fill a glass jar up with 'em and stick their penis in to masturbate… Might be able to find it somewhere in Yahoo Oddly Enough Headlines… ---
**Author:** ![eden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f9b8f/32.png) [@eden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eden)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/38 "2000-03-21T15:44:00Z")
I have two female cats and there is no way, short of cutting them open, anyone normally endowed would be able to have sex with them. Their vaginas are just too tiny. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/39 "2000-03-21T15:49:00Z")
aenea, all you have to do is click the search button on your browser & input ‘sex with animals’ then youll find tons of pictures you can see on the net that verify these things. Frankly I don’t know why the moderator hasn’t put this in MPIS yet. ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403/40 "2000-03-21T16:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by awldune: > This lobster thing is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. I think that’s saying something, too. I feel ill… I agree! Gross! BTW **handy** the OP was written as a general question to the teeming millions. Therefore appropriate to this forum. Duh. Got anything else to bitch about? * * * Carpe Jugulum [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-animals/9403.md?page=3)