# Sex with sheep is fun. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355 "2005-09-06T16:17:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/261 "2005-09-24T02:23:14Z")
OOOOVVVVIIIINE WHY CAN’T YOU BE TRUE OH OVVIIIINNNE WHY CAN’T YOU BE TRUE YOU DONE STARTED DOING THE THINGS YOU USE TO DO AS HAL WAS MOTIVATING OVER THE HILL SAW OVINE IN A GRAZING THRILL A RAM’S OUT A ROLLING ON OLD GLEN ROAD THAT RAM’S DOING IT HOOFIN SLIDE IT WAS WOOL TO WOOL SIDE TO SIDE chorus; OOOOVVVIIIIINE WHY CAN’T YOU BE TRUE OH OVVIIINNNE WHY CAN’T YOU BE TRUE YOU DONE STARTED BACK DOING THE THINGS YOU USE TO DO HORNS IN THE MIRROR ON TOP OF THE HILL JUST LIKE SWALLOWING A LANOLIN THRILL BRISTON SAW THAT RAM’S HARD WILL BUT HIS EWE’S BAAAHING WAS WAY TOO SHRILL HAL READIED HIS HORN FOR THE GALLOPIN’ LANE JUST WANTED TO DRIVE THAT OTHER RAM INSANE RAIN WATER STARTS BLOWING ALL UNDER HIS HOOD HAL KNEW THAT WAS DOING HIS HOT SHEARS SOME GOOD chorus solo chorus HAL COOLED DOWN , HIS HEAT WENT DOWN BUT UNDER THE WOOL THE BLEATING SOUND RAM JUST LAYED LIKE A TON OF LEAD OFF THE PASTURE, FILLED WITH DREAD RAM STARED AND LOOKED LIKE IT WAS STANDING STILL HAL CAUGHT OVINE AT THE TOP OF THE HILL OOOOVVVVIIIINE WHY CAN’T YOU BE TRUE OH OVVIIIINNNE WHY CAN’T YOU BE TRUE YOU DONE STARTED DOING THE THINGS YOU USE TO DO extended virtuoso solo Hal, woundnt’na spent this much time on it if I didn’t think you were one Baaahhhhddd Ass kinda guy… Luv, Chuck ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/262 "2005-09-24T04:05:22Z")
::applauds madly:: ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/263 "2005-09-24T13:41:27Z")
Like the lamb on the altar, I’ve sacrificed myself and read the whole thread and my response is Baaah! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/264 "2005-09-25T00:47:40Z")
Hal, I think you need to meet up with **Muffin** 😉 [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6616390&postcount=5](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6616390&postcount=5) > [@Muffin](#): > > Thanks, Tuba. My sheep and I look forward to the answer. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/265 "2005-09-25T15:41:22Z")
Brava Chuck & elelle!! “JUST LIKE SWALLOWING A LANOLIN THRILL” It reminded me of Woody Allen’s “Everything you ever wanted to know about sex\*”, the bit with Gene Wilder and his ladysheep. At the end you see Gene sprawled in the gutter clutching a bottle of woolite with woolite running down his chin. sorry Hal 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/266 "2005-09-25T17:03:11Z")
Here is a shirt for [Hal](http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=492) ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/267 "2005-09-25T17:14:10Z")
So once the google ads start kicking in, what kind of ads will be at the end of this thread? Woolite? Inflatable sheep? The New Zeland lamb producers council? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/268 "2005-09-25T17:43:34Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Here is a shirt for [Hal](http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=492) Wear it with the traditional kilt. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/269 "2005-09-25T21:55:08Z")
I don’t know what’s funnier, the OP or the fact that this thread Just. Will. Not. Die. ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/270 "2005-09-26T20:08:42Z")
Does loving sheep make one a [monster](http://www.helixdmonster.com/bleating.htm)? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/271 "2005-09-26T20:15:11Z")
It went nearly 22 hours this time. There is hope yet Hal of this thread dying out. Of course it is almost automatically going to come back as a Zombie and one day on a list of the top 50 threads ever. ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/272 "2005-09-26T20:47:26Z")
Not if I have my way. **Hal** , romancing your ovine enamorata and then eating her seem awfully Jeffrey Dahmer of you. I’d have expected better somehow. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/273 "2005-09-27T21:41:57Z")
Okay. We’ve done jokes, puns, song lyrics, and even haikus. Would you care to try your hand at some limericks? 'Tis \*\*Hal \*\* that the dopers have teased 'Bout his love for a warm wooly beast The story soon spread To **Hal Briston** ’s great dread Of how he went and got himself fleeced ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/274 "2005-09-27T22:05:05Z")
There once was a Doper named **Briston** Who kept secret the aim of his piston Then in the wink of an eye The truth was let fly And now his sheep-buggerin’ we just keep on listin’ ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/275 "2005-09-27T22:27:27Z")
Somehow this article reminded me of this thread: [http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/20050927/wl\_asia\_afp/australiaussheep](http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/20050927/wl_asia_afp/australiaussheep) ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/276 "2005-09-28T03:48:09Z")
Bwaaaaaaaahahaaaa! Did anyone notice the ads at the bottom of the page? **Hal** darlin’, get to clickin’! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/277 "2005-09-28T04:04:48Z")
Sheep management? Isn’t that what Hal is majoring in? 😃 My predictions have come true! ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/278 "2005-09-28T04:24:35Z")
I can’t believe this has gone on for six pages. Your cow-orker must be awfully proud of himself, **Hal**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/279 "2005-09-28T15:30:40Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Okay. We’ve done jokes, puns, song lyrics, and even haikus. Would you care to try your hand at some limericks? There are also twisted nursery rhymes left to do. We’ve covered “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” but no-one’s yet touched: Baa, baa black sheep, Have you any wool? Yes, sir, yes sir, Three bags full. All for my lover Hal Briston’s his name He’s tried it with women but it wasn’t quite the same. Baa, baa black sheep Have you any wool? Yes, sir, yes sir Three bags full. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/280 "2005-09-28T15:39:09Z")
I’m loving the ads: Shhep Raising, Sheep Management, and **EZ All Total Body Wash**! “Just spray on/rinse off & your animal is clean!” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355.md?page=15)