# Sex with sheep is fun. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355 "2005-09-06T16:17:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/161 "2005-09-11T23:16:50Z")
Oh, my. Can you imagine the gymnastics **Hal** is going through right now, trying to keep poor **kittenlm** off the Dope? “No, really, honey…you don’t want to go there. All those Katrina threads, it’s just depressing, there’s nothing to see…” _sigh_… another marriage lost to extramarital sheep love. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/162 "2005-09-12T01:24:10Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Oh, my. Can you imagine the gymnastics **Hal** is going through right now, trying to keep poor **kittenlm** off the Dope? I wouldn’t mind it half as much if she would stop e-mailing the link to this thread to friends, family, coworkers, old classmates and random strangers. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/163 "2005-09-12T01:53:16Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > I wouldn’t mind it half as much if she would stop e-mailing the link to this thread to friends, family, coworkers, old classmates and random strangers. Email this link to random strangers? Well, now, there’s an idea. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/164 "2005-09-12T02:03:12Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Email this link to random strangers? Well, now, there’s an idea. I wouldn’t do something like that, would ewe? ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/165 "2005-09-12T03:37:49Z")
I’d hate **Hal** to think his feelings were unrequited. To reassure him, this just in from the top paddock: Sheep loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah Sheep loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah Sheep loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You think you’ve lost your love Well I shore her yesterday It’s you sheep’s thinking of And sheep told me what to say Sheep say sheep loves you And you know that can’t be bad Yes, sheep loves you And you know ewe should be glad Sheep said you hurt her so Sheep almost lost her mind But now sheep says sheep knows You’re not the hurting kind Sheep loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah Sheep loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah Sheep loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/166 "2005-09-12T03:38:30Z")
\*\*\*\* Liberally adapted from “Maria”, from West Side Story\*\*\*\* Hal’s Sheep…ah ! I’ve just had a date with Hal’s sheep- ah! And suddenly I’m full Of lanolin and wool. Who-heeeeeee. Hal’s Sheep…ah ! We can’t get enough of Hal’s Sheep…ah. He’s never made a peep Of amorous-y sheep, till now. * * * \*\*\*\* Liberally adapted from “New York State of Mind” as sung by Billy Joel\*\*\*\* Some folks like to just get laid Buy some sheep-lines gloves, once they’ve just been paid. Spin wool in the Rockies, or San Diego Zoo. But we know what **Hal** ’s jonesin’ And we don’t wanna waste his time. He’s in a Sheep Love state of mind. Ooooh yeah, he’s in a Sheep Love state of mind. 😃 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/167 "2005-09-12T04:11:49Z")
This is For Lamb Lover In You, **Hal Bristol!** The greatest R&B love/sheep collection of all time! She’s A Baaad Lamb-a Jam-a Love On A Two-Way Sheep Sexual Bleating Quiet Porn Lambie In My Life I’ve Got Sheep On My Mind Lambs Get It On The Whole Town’s Baaa-ing at Me Tender Lamb If This Wool Were Mine Hope That We Can Bleat Together Soon Tonight, I Celebrate My Lamb For You and the _bossa nova_ sensation, The Sheep From Ipenema Plus these unforgettable jams by singer R. Kelly! ChompN’Grind Down Low (The Shepherd Doesn’t Have To Know) I Bleat, I Can Fly Feelin’ On Yo’ Woolly Trapped in the Sheep Set ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/168 "2005-09-12T04:59:09Z")
The sheep’s milk reminds me of Kingpin. \ > [@](#): > > We don’t have a ewe… we have a ram. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/169 "2005-09-12T05:13:14Z")
> [@Cajun Man](#): > > But, always remember that if you don’t log out of the SDMB at work, or any other place for that matter . . . you’ll be held responsible for what’s posted under your name. Yes, that’s one lesson we could learn from this thread. I think the real lesson, though, is: When you’re having sex with a sheep, _don’t fall in love_. When you’re basking in the afterglow, you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world, and want to run to the internet to shout it out to the whole world. But then the cold reality of day sets in, and you have to make up some story about a “coworker” and a “meeting” to cover up that you’ve confessed to the Love That Dare Not Bleat Its Name. Strength, brother. Strength. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/170 "2005-09-12T05:47:02Z")
Well, as we pick on poor Hal, he’s getting letters of support from all over the world. From [Slovenia](http://www.posta.si/DezelaZnamk/ViewBigImage.aspx?imageid=6362)… From [New Zealand](http://www.caratexstamps.com/Images_General/Images_index/popupstamp_nz.htm)… From [Australia](http://www.ebay.com.my/viItem?ItemId=5610554455)… From [Ukraine](http://www.philnet.fr/eng/cyber/ukraine/19930150.html)… From [Japan](http://www.post.japanpost.jp/english/kitte_hagaki/stamp/tokusyu/2003/002_e_s.htm)… From [Mongolia](http://stamp-search.com/images/mon0323co-ram2year.jpg)… From [Uganda](http://stamp-search.com/images/uga0301sh-year6ram.jpg)… And, of course, from [the good old USA!](http://www.alaskacoinexchange.com/Stamps%206/06c%20Americas%20Wool.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/171 "2005-09-12T06:37:42Z")
And in Soviet Russia, sheep fucks _you!_ ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/172 "2005-09-12T12:02:12Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > This is For Lamb Lover In You, **Hal Bristol!** > The greatest R&B love/sheep collection of all time! > > She’s A Baaad Lamb-a Jam-a > Love On A Two-Way Sheep > Sexual Bleating > Quiet Porn > Lambie In My Life > I’ve Got Sheep On My Mind > Lambs Get It On > The Whole Town’s Baaa-ing at Me > Tender Lamb > If This Wool Were Mine > Hope That We Can Bleat Together Soon > Tonight, I Celebrate My Lamb For You > and the _bossa nova_ sensation, The Sheep From Ipenema > Plus these unforgettable jams by singer R. Kelly! > > ChompN’Grind > Down Low (The Shepherd Doesn’t Have To Know) > I Bleat, I Can Fly > Feelin’ On Yo’ Woolly > Trapped in the Sheep Set You forgot the most classic one Black Betty by Ram Jam Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lamb) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lamb) Black Betty had a child (Bam-ba-Lamb) The damn thing gone wild (Bam-ba-Lamb) She said, “I’m worryin’ outta mind” (Bam-ba-Lamb) The damn thing gone blind (Bam-ba-Lamb) I said Oh, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lamb) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lamb) Oh, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lamb) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lamb) She really gets me high (Bam-ba-Lamb) You know that’s no lie (Bam-ba-Lamb) She’s so rock steady (Bam-ba-Lamb) And she’s always ready (Bam-ba-Lamb) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lamb) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lamb) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam) She’s from Birmingham (Bam-ba-Lam) Way down in Alabam’ (Bam-ba-Lam) Well, she’s shakin’ that thing (Bam-ba-Lam) Boy, she makes me sing (Bam-ba-Lam) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam) Whoa, Black Betty BAM-BA-LAM ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/173 "2005-09-12T13:13:47Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > And in Soviet Russia, sheep fucks _you!_ And you will \*_like it_, comrade! How much would a sheep shagger shag if a sheep shagger could shag sheep cheap? ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/174 "2005-09-12T14:29:56Z")
This thread brought to you in part by the [Wyoming Tourist Commision](http://homepage.mac.com/comfychair/.Pictures/tiger/132.jpg). “Wyoming, where the men are men, and the sheep are willing!” ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/175 "2005-09-12T14:42:11Z")
Oh, and don’t forget that old sailor’s chanty, written on long voyages: What would ewe do with a drunken **Bristol** What would ewe do with a drunken **Bristol** What would ewe do with a drunken **Bristol** Ear-ly in the mornin’? Put 'em in the longboat until he’s “shorn her” Put 'em in the longboat until he’s “shorn her” Put ‘em in the longboat until he’s “shorn her” Ear-ly in the mornin’ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/176 "2005-09-12T14:50:05Z")
Waiter: How would you like your mutton cooked, sir? Hal: Cooked? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/177 "2005-09-12T16:01:52Z")
_Stares up at monolithic thread_ My God,it’s full of sheep. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/178 "2005-09-12T16:02:16Z")
Some movies for Hal: 😉 Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex \* But Were Afraid to Ask (1972) Quote: [Dr. Ross’s wife has caught him in bed with a sheep wearing sexy black garters] Mrs. Ross: [upset] How could you? Dr Doug Ross: This is Mrs. Bencours, one of my patients. She thinks she’s a sheep. The Sheepman (1958) stimulating entertainment for Hal Babe (1995) lotsa sheep and in case he likes historical A Flock of Sheep (1899) Just ancinet footage of sheep. (Think old french postcards) ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/179 "2005-09-12T16:41:15Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > You forgot the most classic one > > Black Betty by Ram Jam FYI, Ram Jam covered this song, which was originally done by Huddie Ledbetter, more commonly known as Leadbelly. This musical interlude brought to you by **Spiff**. We now return you to your regularly scheduled sheep shagging. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355/180 "2005-09-12T17:40:17Z")
He’s got it baaaad, so baaaaaad. He’s hot for sheepah! (The only part of “Hot for Teacher” I know, and I got it through infomercials.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-with-sheep-is-fun/320355.md?page=10)