# Sex would be cool if we had prehensile tails. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354 "2003-08-20T03:26:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/1 "2003-08-20T03:26:33Z")
I know this for a fact because I had a dream about it. Oh sure, they may get in the way while we try to do some positions, but think of all the _other_ positions we could accomplish. Even if we weren’t using them for the actual sex act, we could hold stuff with them that we might need, like the bottle of lube or the ‘wipe off’ towel. If the tail had fur on it, we could use **it** as the ‘wipe off’ towel. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/2 "2003-08-20T03:38:56Z")
Yeah, but if you used the tail as a towel, then you’d need to clean the tail. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/3 "2003-08-20T03:40:59Z")
Sex isn’t cool as is? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/4 "2003-08-20T03:44:04Z")
I remember the first time I had sex with one particular girlfriend in the presence of my Uncle Sydney. Afterwards, she told me that she’d grown a prehensile tail and was really getting off on wrapping it around my legs and _squeezing_, before continuing her regression into a gilled creature, gushing torrents of hot roe, and then finally experiencing the perpetually repeating orgasm of unicellular reproduction by division first-hand. I listened with interest, but I’d spent a lot more time in my Uncle Sydney’s company, so at most I found things a little wigglier than usual. I sincerely apologize for any unnecessarily uncomfortable imagery my choice of euphemism has caused anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/5 "2003-08-20T03:57:16Z")
Cute AND kinky. What’s not to like about this gal?! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/6 "2003-08-20T12:00:50Z")
**hillbilly queen** – you deserve each and every hit this thread is going to get. You’ve got my vote in the next “Best Thread Title Ever” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Baggins111](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@Baggins111](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baggins111)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/7 "2003-08-20T12:40:29Z")
Wow, this really had my mind racing. I’m sure that I would break a ceiling fan or two. I’d have to buy a canopy bed (but a MANLY one). It would be like a jungle gym! Sitting back, distant stare with a mischievous smile on my face… No work getting done today… ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/8 "2003-08-20T12:47:16Z")
Jeez. Just how many “furries” DO we have here…? Look, some of us guys are insecure enough about the equipment we’ve already got. Now you’re wanting _another_ appendage for us to worry about our comparative size…? That’s just greedy. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/9 "2003-08-20T12:49:24Z")
Sex would be cool if I had somebody besides myself to do it with. And with a prehensile tail. Hey **Giraffe**! Can you please come in here and use your sig please? It’s my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![cagiva650](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cagiva650](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cagiva650)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/10 "2003-08-20T12:52:43Z")
prehensile tails?How about horns on your head too! But then that would require more orifices to pleasure, where would that extra sex hole go? This is causing me visions of Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/11 "2003-08-20T13:01:35Z")
Ya know, I’ve thought the same thing. I think I got the idea from a science fiction book about brain transplants. The main character had his brain transplanted into the body of a woman with a prehensile tail. As a teenager (this was a while ago) that was kind of a turn-on. Come to think of it, when I was a teenager, everything turned me on. But prehensile tails would be fun. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/12 "2003-08-20T18:14:02Z")
Um, y’all don’t have a prehensile tail? Guess that’s why I was taught to keep mine tucked in. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/13 "2003-08-20T20:46:43Z")
I’d settle for a prehensile penis. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/14 "2003-08-20T20:51:20Z")
Prehensile tail **s**? Like, one each, or more? Sincere apologies to anyone who got scary imagary of tentacle porn there. ---
**Author:** ![Freiheit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e8c25b/32.png) [@Freiheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freiheit)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/15 "2003-08-21T00:07:46Z")
Forget sex, think about the computing! Tail for mouse, hands for keyboard! And never take them off! That right there’s nearly orgasmic. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/16 "2003-08-21T03:22:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tygr \* > \*\*Jeez. Just how many “furries” DO we have here…? > \*\* Probably a stupid question, but what’s a furry? ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/17 "2003-08-21T03:42:40Z")
Ya know, I wasn’t going to post to this thread. I was just going to let it slip by, so to speak. Until I read: “Afterwards, she told me that she’d grown a prehensile tail and was really getting off on wrapping it around my legs and squeezing, before continuing her regression into a gilled creature, gushing torrents of hot roe, and then finally experiencing the perpetually repeating orgasm of unicellular reproduction by division first-hand.” Had to laugh. **L M** , you’re twisted. Gotta love it. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/18 "2003-08-21T04:08:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy \* > \*\*And with a prehensile tail. Hey **Giraffe**! Can you please come in here and use your sig please? It’s my favorite. \*\* I clearly need some sort of Bat-signal. But, you know, giraffe-shaped. I don’t think I’d want to have a prehensile tail, at least as far as sex is concerned. Maybe I lack imagination, but I can’t think of anything I need more than two hands plus a tongue or penis for. What would it do? Wave a checkered flag at the end? Anyway, with a shout out to **Bruce\_Daddy** : ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/19 "2003-08-21T04:11:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\*I remember the first time I had sex with one particular girlfriend in the presence of my Uncle Sydney. > > Afterwards, she told me that she’d grown a prehensile tail and was really getting off on wrapping it around my legs and _squeezing_, before continuing her regression into a gilled creature, gushing torrents of hot roe, and then finally experiencing the perpetually repeating orgasm of unicellular reproduction by division first-hand. > > I listened with interest, but I’d spent a lot more time in my Uncle Sydney’s company, so at most I found things a little wigglier than usual. > > I sincerely apologize for any unnecessarily uncomfortable imagery my choice of euphemism has caused anyone. \*\* wtf?? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-would-be-cool-if-we-had-prehensile-tails/196354/20 "2003-08-22T01:34:59Z")
Ever since I was six years old and got to play a lion in our school Christmas paegant, I’ve wanted a tail. (The first grade class were all “lions” and my mom made me a tail from rope and a little pom pom-it was pretty cool). I think it would be cool to have a prehensile tail-not just for sex. Think about it-you could use it to whip people, and scratch the back of your neck while you’re typing on the computer. And if it were strong enough, you could hang from tree branches. Dammit, I want a tail! It’s not fair!