# Sexiest Doperchick Paegeant

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 19, 2001, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577 "2001-03-19T12:20:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/21 "2001-03-19T15:31:53Z")

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Well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later.☹

Preview,Preview,Preview

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**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/22 "2001-03-19T15:35:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \*  
> **Are you kidding? The last time I started a thread like this it sorta train wrecked on me. Think I’ll sponsor this one?**

Don’t be so hard on yourself, **Jonathan**! It was a thread born of the noblest intentions, and it hasn’t turned out all that bad.

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**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/23 "2001-03-19T15:40:04Z")

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**Watermelon Man** , I’m flattered to be in such august company. I may well swoon. But I must say no list is complete without **Sapphire Bullet** and **Nocturne** , so I hereby nominate them.

[I’d nominate Mauvaise, but I’m fairly certain DW will be around to do it shortly ;)]

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**Author:** ![Simon\_Met\_a\_Pieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simon\_Met\_a\_Pieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simon_Met_a_Pieman)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/24 "2001-03-19T15:51:57Z")

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I vote for the Effervescent Soda! She can tickle my nose with her carbonation anytime. 😛

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**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/25 "2001-03-19T15:51:58Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \*  
> \*\*Can we leave out the bathing suit competition? What are the prizes? \*\*

By ALL means leave out the bathing suits, this is the Miss Sexiest Doperchick 2001! Nekkidness is required!

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**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/26 "2001-03-19T16:05:17Z")

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Well as the President of the boards I feel obliged to donate a prize, though I’m not sure what.

I’ll give the winner a personal serenade. They can choose how it takes place.

And a position in the SDMB government somewhere depending on their talents. If they already have one then they qualify for special benefits in lieu.

Now, when does voting close? I’m ready to vote now.

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**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/27 "2001-03-19T16:27:33Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \*  
> You and Bubba might move to Seoul? EXCELLENT!! If you do, **Astrofiancee** and I will treat you to dinner and soju (sorry, it’s nasty, but a requirement in Seoul!), and maybe we’ll finally find out what “shimyonseki” means!
> 
> \*\*

Oh no, **Astro** , tater’s _Oma_ and **Bubba** (that’s tater’s daddy) are moving to Korea. _I_ am moving someplace else. And my mother still won’t tell me what “shimyonseki” means, and as she is currently mad at me for meeting strange internet people, I doubt she will anytime soon.

However, if they do move to Seoul, I’ll have to give you their number & vice versa so you can go get some American home cooking every now and then. You’ll just have to tell them we met at vacation bible school or something.

As for the contest, I’d like to nominate and vote for:

**evilbeth  
Globe-Trotter  
magdalene  
Primaflora  
LSura  
eirroc  
FairyChatMom  
Kinsey  
Mielikki  
Dolores Claiborne  
Spider Woman  
Falcon  
Rachelle  
Diane  
Persephone  
MissBHaven  
msrobyn  
Zumba The Cat  
amarinth  
SmoothOperator  
Nocturne  
ruadh  
trose  
Juliana  
callie  
celestina  
dodge\_this**

And from the original list:  
**Arden Ranger  
Soda  
and  
The Mermaid**

Oh, yeah, and me. 😃

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**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/28 "2001-03-19T16:35:40Z")

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I want to second the nominations for **Persephone** and **Hamadryad**.

But only because someone else nominated them first…

\<grumble\>

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**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/29 "2001-03-19T16:36:46Z")

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I guess my days of being sexy on the board is over, sigh.☹

[sub]Hopefully at least Montfort thinks I am.[/sub]

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**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/30 "2001-03-19T16:50:37Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Soda \*  
> \*\*Oh wait, I need to add **serendipity** to the list too. She’s just a darling, who always finds time for others, no matter what’s happening in her life.  
> \*\*

No, no, no! **Soda** , sweetheart, this isn’t the “Most Darling Doperchick 2001,” it’s the “_Sexiest_\* Doperchick 2001,” a title I shouldn’t even be in the running for. That said, thank you for thinking of me. That’ll be my happy thought for the day. 🙂

OK, I’m going to vote for… well, jeez, I want to vote for _everyone_ because all of the DoperGals are terribly sexy… but, I’m going to limit myself to the following five:  
**Soda  
tatertot  
evilbeth  
Nymysys  
Sue Dunhym**

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**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/31 "2001-03-19T17:02:40Z")

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Can we lay off this? Not that don’t agree with the fact that many of the women on this board are sexy, but I just hate this crap. For reasons I don’t even care to go into in detail.

I know, I’m a killjoy. You might accuse me of being insecure. Jealous. Whiney. Call it what you want, these threads always end up, on some level, to some people, being about who _didn’t_ get named. I hate to see us doing that to people.

I had enough of that during my awkward adolescence. The benefits to those who get named don’t make it worth repeating now that we’re older. And while this might not sound credible, I’d feel the same way if I were on the top of everyone’s nomination list.

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**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/32 "2001-03-19T17:23:37Z")

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Welp, **Cranky** , I feel the same way and I’ve been nominated twice.

I didn’t enjoy popularity contests in high school or college, I didn’t enjoy them on local BBSs, and I don’t enjoy them here.

“If you don’t like 'em, don’t read 'em!”

Well, if you don’t like my opinions, don’t read 'em. I don’t post much. It’s not as though I wasn’t easily avoidable.

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**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/33 "2001-03-19T17:52:24Z")

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Thank you **Cranky** and **Hama**. Kind of reminds me of Junior high and high school all over again, which is _not_ a good thing.

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**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/34 "2001-03-19T18:05:23Z")

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Well, **Cranky** , there’s a difference I see between this and those ugly popularity contests from high school. Back then, you were popular based mainly on your looks. Kids are shallow. But here on the net, what’s “sexy” is far more relative. I would think that the popularity of a person online has more to do with that person’s personality than with his or her looks. And what better to be proud of - one’s looks or one’s personality?

The OP has allowed each of us to define “sexiness” in any way we see fit, and that’s a good thing. If we were to base our opinions on looks alone, that would indeed, in my opinion, be a shallow endeavor. But the field’s open.

I’m sure no one means to slight other people (again, unlike high school “popularity contests”). But I do see your point. If a person is not not nominated, or receives no votes, or is not even mentioned in this thread, will that person’s feelings be hurt? I cannot answer for each person on this board, but I would bet you’re right - someone will have their feelings hurt. This is assuredly unintentional, of course, but it’s unavoidable with this kind of thread.

So the question is: do we have such threads, knowing that a few people might be hurt, or do we simply disavow them altogether?

I don’t think I’m the right one to answer that question, because I’m not female. But I’ll try to look at it objectively from the male point of view. What if, for example, there was a thread exactly like this pertaining only to males? Would I be upset or feel slighted because I wasn’t included? Personally, no. And yes, I’m not attractive. Never have been, never will be. And I went through a truckload of crap during those malicious high school years, so from my perspective, even though I am an ugly duckling, I wouldn’t let it bother me. But I say that knowing that your take could be very different and yet just as valid.

dan

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**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/35 "2001-03-19T18:09:23Z")

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oooh, me too!  
I have my internal list of sexy posters but it is just that. I know all too well what it is like to be on the outside and am sensitive to making others feel left out.

And since a sharp mind and wit are one of the sexiest attributes a woman can have, it is fair to say all the FemDopers are sexy beyond words!

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**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/36 "2001-03-19T18:13:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by porcupine \*  
> \*\*Kind of reminds me of Junior high and high school all over again, which is _not_ a good thing. \*\*

All that being said, I still want to run the risk of sounding like a total sap and say that **Serendipity** is totally on the top of this list in my mind.

She’s one schway babe, you know? 🙂

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**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/37 "2001-03-19T18:30:50Z")

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Isn’t this just way too typical of real life? You can’t say something nice about somebody without fifty f-ing others pissing and moaning about how they didn’t get mentioned…

You don’t like these threads? DON’T F-ING READ THEM!! If your biggest concern is being picked last, then stay the hell out of the kickball field, ok? Why not take a midol and let people have their fun? Sheesh.

Bitching and whining about not being picked are decidedly UNsexy.

Now I’ll just sit around and wait to be nominated as the guy most despised by un-nominated females.

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**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/38 "2001-03-19T18:54:08Z")

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Dan, I want to preface this by saying I really like you, and I appreciate all of the support you’ve given me on some of my threads and in private emails.

OK.

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by dantheman \*  
> Well, **Cranky** , there’s a difference I see between this and those ugly popularity contests from high school. Back then, you were popular based mainly on your looks. Kids are shallow. But here on the net, what’s “sexy” is far more relative.

I venture to say, and please tell me I’m wrong, that the only reason I was put on the list for this pageant was because I mentioned my boobs and the process of waxing my hoo ha in ‘the other’ thread. Had I remained silent on that issue, I doubt I’d be here, and in essence, that’s judging me on a shallow level.

> [@](#):
>
> So the question is: do we have such threads, knowing that a few people might be hurt, or do we simply disavow them altogether?

Have them all you want, if KNOWING that you’re hurting some people’s feelings doesn’t matter to you, or if you don’t mind having people stick their heads in and say they think they’re silly.

I’d rather Watermelon, or Johnathan or whoever just sent me an email and said, “I really enjoy your posting and I think you’ve got a great point of view.” YOU did that to me, and it was a far greater compliment than having a popularity contest on a message board.

I DO flirt with people sometimes, I DO talk spicily sometimes, in forums like this its sometimes appropriate. But I don’t want to become “the spicy talking, sexy poster” because of it. It’s too hard to live up to.  
jarbaby

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**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/39 "2001-03-19T19:02:26Z")

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_::cough…a-HEM::_

[PA system]

Although I am honored to be a nominee in the **Sexiest Doperchick 2001** pagent, I feel it necessary to remove myself from the competition. I don’t feel it is fair to the other nominees that I am just so stunningly attractive.

[sub]Who am I kidding? I’m screwed if I have to compete against jarbabyj, Tequila Mockingbird, and Sexy Writer![/sub]

I thank you for the sentiment and hope your decision will be made easier by my withdrawl. Try not to be blinded by my beauty as I make my way out of the auditorium.

[/PA system]

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**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\
**Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexiest-doperchick-paegeant/58577/40 "2001-03-19T19:09:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \*  
> \*\*Isn’t this just way too typical of real life? You can’t say something nice about somebody without fifty f-ing others pissing and moaning about how they didn’t get mentioned…
> 
> Bitching and whining about not being picked are decidedly UNsexy.
> 
> Now I’ll just sit around and wait to be nominated as the guy most despised by un-nominated females. \*\*

Despised, no. Puzzled at your reading comprehension on this particular thread, yes.

I’d be happy to take a Midol, but I think you don’t get what I was saying.

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