# Sexism
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 17, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380 "2015-07-17T01:47:12Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2015, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/41 "2015-07-17T17:51:55Z")
> [@CinnamonBabka](#):
>
> It just seems like it’s going to be another easy way for people to put themselves above a discussion. Much like how “little man syndrome” is used to describe a short guy when he does something assertive, I’m getting the vibe “mansplaining” is going to be used to describe a guy when he describes something in a way that makes the audience feel like they’re stupid (or something like that).
Probably. The way “hater” has come to mean anyone offering any form of criticism (regardless of how mild or well-deserved), and “check your privilege” means… well, nothing, really.
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### Author:  [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2015, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/42 "2015-07-17T18:06:13Z")
Maybe certain people are a little too ready to see sexism everywhere.
Anecdote: I had a female e-mail pen-pal once, back in the early 1990’s before Internet was widely publically available. We corresponded via Usenet e-mail. She chewed me out for mansplaining to her how to write a Usenet-style e-mail address, accusing me of condescending to her for being female.
In fact, the reason I described e-mail address formats in detail was because I had only just learned about such things myself, and I didn’t take for granted that it was common knowledge then. But she saw sexism.
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### Author:  [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2015, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/43 "2015-07-17T18:14:40Z")
I work as a contractor at a Navy Squadron in Patuxent River, Maryland. One of the people I supervise is the System Administrator for the server that runs our MIS. It is Navy proprietary software, so when we have to put in a trouble call we call a Navy help desk. Whenever the SA calls, she tends to get the runaround. I held the SA position when I was Active Duty, but there have been enough updates to the software since I retired that I am not as good at it as I once was, but whenever I call the help desk, I get no problems whatsoever. She gets furious when I make a phone call and get something done in minutes that she had been on the phone for a half-hour and couldn’t get resolved. It also makes me furious that the sexist attitude at the help desk causes me to have to help her do her job. Every time I call, I try to beat it into them to talk to the SA, yet they don’t seem to ever change. It is very frustrating.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2015, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/44 "2015-07-17T18:18:06Z")
> [@magellan01](#):
>
> When the work I present does not get accepted, I think it’s because;
>
> A) Maybe the idea just isn’t as good I thought
> B) Maybe I didn’t present it the best way
> C) Maybe the person I presented to is hoping for a slightly different type of solution
> D) Maybe I need to refine the idea more
>
> Guess it would be great to be able to have another option:
>
> E) I have tits and a vagina
>
> Now, I’m sure there are some sexist assholes out there. But I think there are quite few of them. And more important, the best way to handle it is to assume that the reason is NOT sexism. Just come back with another , better idea. And another one after that.In the meantime, if you think your boss is one of those actual sexist assholes, be looking for another job.
You need to reread the OP more carefully. You have entirely missed what **BrightSunshine** is saying/ranting.
> [@BrightSunshine](#):
>
> I pit the sexist organization in which I work that will take the entire package of ideas **I generate** to be brilliant **when a white male coworker presents it as his own,** vs ignore it entirely **when it comes from me.**
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### Author:  [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2015, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/45 "2015-07-17T18:34:53Z")
I’ve been a professional FileMaker Pro developer since 1998. I’m male. In the short span between 2000 and 2002, I was hired to work at ad agency BBDO; head of software development division of IT was a woman. On her staff were two women who did website graphics and coding, a woman who did Oracle database development and support, a lower-echelon general-purpose developer who was a woman, and a female admin assistant who supported all of us. Head of IT overall was a guy, the other FileMaker Pro developer was a guy, the Flash and Javascript guy was male, the security software expert was male, and most of the desktop hardware and software Help Desk folks were guys.
About a month after 9/11 the head of IT resigned under pressure and a new IT person came in, recruited from outside the organization, bringing with him 3 managerial types who he’d worked with over the years, all male, new senior staff. The Oracle developer and the two women doing web graphics and coding, were laid off within 2 months. The Head of Software Dev had been on maternity leave and wasn’t tossed out the window until January when she returned. The general-purpose developer was barred from doing development work and reassigned to secretarial stuff. So in less than a year the IT Department went from having some decent approximation of gender parity except at the Help Desk level to being a nearly all-male enclave with the remaining women doing non-technical support services only. There was no reason for it, just the corporate culture that the new guy seemed to prefer.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2015, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/46 "2015-07-17T18:39:11Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#):
>
> . . . and “check your privilege” means… well, nothing, really.
. . . [Here, read about “intersectionality.”](http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Intersectionality)
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### Author:  [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/47 "2015-07-17T18:59:34Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> You need to reread the OP more carefully. You have entirely missed what **BrightSunshine** is saying/ranting.
I think you’re the one who needs to read more carefully.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/48 "2015-07-18T04:33:12Z")
> [@magellan01](#):
>
> Now, I’m sure there are some sexist assholes out there. But I think there are quite few of them. And more important, the best way to handle it is to assume that the reason is NOT sexism.
When the Production manager sees the candidate, stops dead and blubbers “but but but but… it’s a _girl_! How are we going to get a girl into Production!?”, there ain’t no assumptions to be made.
My response was “through the door, same as the guys.”
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### Author:  [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/49 "2015-07-18T05:14:49Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#):
>
> It mostly hasn’t happened to me on the job, probably because I’ve mostly worked in fields that have a high percentage of women, but I’m fecking tired of getting treated like an idiot at the hardware store or the auto parts store just because I have a pair of X chromosomes. I’ve literally had a clerk refuse to sell me a starter relay for my own car because he assumed I didn’t know what one of those was, much less that I needed one. I had a mechanic refuse to do a minor repair on my car until I confirmed that my husband was okay with it. I bought the part somewhere else, and bought a soldering iron and did the job that the mechanic wouldn’t. (Both of these occurred around 1995 or '96!) I’m almost past noticing salespeople who hear me ask a question, but answer my husband. (Or memorably, my son. He was with me when I was buying a lawn mower. I’d ask a question, and the salesman would address my teenage son with the answer. Boy 2.0 finally raised an eyebrow and asked the guy why he was talking to the kid, and not the lady who had the questions and the money, and who had taught the kid everything he knew about lawn mowers. It was hilarious, and we both laughed all the way to another store.) But dammit, nothing about lawn mowers or battery relays or buying lumber requires a penis!
You are getting off lucky. The first two doctors I went to, to get my tubal, wanted written permission from my husband. Problem - I wasn’t married at the time.
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### Author:  [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/50 "2015-07-18T07:14:57Z")
> [@BrightSunshine](#):
>
> I actually find that the higher IQ a woman has, the more threatening she is deemed and hence the more shit she gets. Especially in a tech field.
I guess this is where the thick skin comes in, and the not putting up with much. The fact is I can usually bounce their shit back at them, with the backing of those of my co-workers that I’ve helped in the past.
I don’t hoard knowledge; I pass around what I figure out so we can all do a better job, and a lot of guys I work with really appreciate that, especially my bosses.
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### Author:  [@JVDaly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JVDaly)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/51 "2015-07-18T07:40:40Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> . . . [Here, read about “intersectionality.”](http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Intersectionality)
Rational Wiki? Seriously?
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### Author:  [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/52 "2015-07-18T09:16:24Z")
> [@CinnamonBabka](#):
>
> It just seems like it’s going to be another easy way for people to put themselves above a discussion. Much like how “little man syndrome” is used to describe a short guy when he does something assertive, I’m getting the vibe “mansplaining” is going to be used to describe a guy when he describes something in a way that makes the audience feel like they’re stupid (or something like that).
I’m short and assertive, no one has ever mentioned little man syndrome. I’ve also never had anyone ask me to check to my privilege. Somehow, I find myself unafraid that anyone will accuse me of mansplaining anything to them. If they do, I’ll probably laugh in their face.
Of course, one of the women that works for me has a PhD in Math, so me explaining something to her like she’s the dumb one is preposterous.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/53 "2015-07-18T13:19:32Z")
> [@JVDaly](#):
>
> Rational Wiki? Seriously?
And rationally.
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/54 "2015-07-18T18:36:25Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#):
>
> I’m short and assertive, no one has ever mentioned little man syndrome.
Well, not to your face. 😉
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### Author:  [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/55 "2015-07-18T18:57:42Z")
> [@BrightSunshine](#):
>
> I pit the sexist organization in which I work that will take the entire package of ideas I generate to be brilliant when a white male coworker presents it as his own, vs ignore it entirely when it comes from me.
>
> Share your rant against sexism, please. I need co-commiserators (I know, that’s not a word).
First world women problems.
I was turned down for a job because I was a white male. In black andwhite, in a letter it said “_you have a white dick, under the equity act bla bla … get on ur bike and shuffle along you privileged shitlord_” Your Government
So boo-hoo.
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### Author:  [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/56 "2015-07-18T19:14:32Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#):
>
> I’d bet your cis too. It’s assholes like you that ruined the world. Welcome to my ignore list you sexist fuck.
Wow. You might want to lay off the coffee and relax a bit. I think you are misinterpreting what he is saying.
Anyway, I too have seen the kind of shit the OP describes. When I worked at HP it seemed to be the worst. Ball Container also had problems in this area and was basically a good old boy network. Since then I have switched to hard science and away from commercial products and there seems to be much less obvious sexism. Of the ~200 engineers and scientists at my place of employment, I would say about 25% are women. The handful that I work closely with are great and are excellent at their jobs. I have never seen them discriminated against or seen anybody try to co-opt their work or dismiss their contribution.
Currently I work a group that consists of 20 male individual contributors, about half of them with PhDs in either engineering or physics and the other half having a BS or MS in the same fields. Our boss is a woman a couple years older than me (I say this to just point out she is my age - 40 something WM by the way). She is super smart, super capable, and is better at most of the stuff we as a group do than any of us even though she is consumed with management travails these days. She is awesome and is easily in the top 5 of all the managers I have ever had. Probably number 2.
The point is that while sexism may be rampant at large corporations and in silicon valley (at least this is what I hear), it is not true everywhere. I have not really seen any on the last couple of projects we have been on even though women held the positions of calibration group lead, lead software engineer, systems engineer, software quality assurance engineer, mechanical engineer (one of five on the project; she was super talented, I think she is at Lincoln labs now), and thermal engineer.
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### Author:  [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/57 "2015-07-18T19:21:32Z")
> [@magellan01](#):
>
> I think you’re the one who needs to read more carefully.
Nope, BG nailed it. The OP is not saying nobody takes her seriously because of her sex, she is saying people steal her work and it is condoned and even encouraged. I have seen this kind of shit with other women engineers at other organizations, it is a thing.
Now, the fact that you completely dismiss her experience out of hand and just want to talk about her whining about her tits and vagina shows that you are most likely part of the problem whether you realize it or not. You are not really helping your image in this thread. Just saying.
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### Author:  [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/58 "2015-07-18T19:21:33Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> . . . [Here, read about “intersectionality.”](http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Intersectionality)
There aren’t enough rolleyes in the world for that article. I can’t believe you’re stupid enough to think that an article so horribly written and logically lacking is capable of educating anybody.
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### Author:  [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/59 "2015-07-18T19:28:15Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#):
>
> I’d bet your cis too. It’s assholes like you that ruined the world. Welcome to my ignore list you sexist fuck.
> [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](#):
>
> Wow. You might want to lay off the coffee and relax a bit. I think you are misinterpreting what he is saying.
Wait a minute, I think I have been wooshed.
\
Yeesh.
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexism/725380/60 "2015-07-18T21:16:47Z")
> [@dropzone](#):
>
> I mansplain everything to everybody, regardless of gender, because of my default position that everybody is an idiot. What we can do is bring back “old wives’ tale” to describe the mix of hogwash and just-so stories we often get when people explain stuff. It’s suitably dismissive and sexist, just like “mansplain.”
Mansplaining is explaining to someone who knows more about the subject than you do. If they have these “old wives’ tales” rather than actually knowing more than you do, then you are not mansplaining to them.
Not that actually assuming everyone is an idiot is a good thing to do…
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