# Sexual assault was your funniest moment??? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 10, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436 "2007-01-10T18:24:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/61 "2007-01-10T23:39:41Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] IMO, placing your genitalia on a non-consenting person’s face \*should \* be considered sexual assault/battery. Of course, I’m not a lawyer, but off the top of my head, I’ve never had anyone rub their scrotum on my face in a non-sexually charged way. Might just be me, though. [/QUOTE] Well, as I said before, if I were defending the accused teabagger, I would certainly argue that the act was not done for sexual gratification. Pardon the directness, but one question I would ask every witness was, “Did my client appear to have a erection?” While I know that not having an erection is not a perfect indicator of a lack of sexual gratification, it would certainly be a bit of evidence indicating that the motive was not overtly sexually-charged. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/62 "2007-01-10T23:39:53Z")
**whole bean** , \*\*Otto \*\* \*did \* call it rape, but since it appeared to me that he was using the terms “rape” and “sexual assault” interchangeably, as you were. (Apologies to \*\*Otto \*\* if I’m wrong.) ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/63 "2007-01-10T23:41:49Z")
[QUOTE=Ammonium Nitrate] Isn’t Otto’s response based on the legal definition provided upthread, though? [/QUOTE] let me shasrpen this point. Me – it’s bad but not rape or rape equivalent DianaG – no one said rape or rape equivalent Me – sure they did, Oto said “rape” why am I now thinking of the scene in \*Meet the Parents \* where Focker is on the plane and says, 'It’s not like I have a bomb" so he gets interrogated and goes off “You can’t say bomb on a plane” “What” “You said bomb” "What if I was a bombadier. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb . . . " or something like that . . . he said rape!! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/64 "2007-01-10T23:43:33Z")
[QUOTE=malkavia] I also don’t think I’d call it “rape” any more than I’d call a woman who was slapped on the ass by her husband in a joking manner “battered”. Unfairly inconvenienced and squicked out? Sure. Raped? Come on. [/QUOTE] I agree with you that it isn’t rape. I called it sexual battery because it meets the definition for that in my state. I don’t think it’s fair to compare joking jostling between a married couple to this at all, though. Some might want to characterize this as more of a hazing-type event with no sexual overtones, but frankly, I think that’s delusional. When you get the need to express dominance into play and a man is doing so by forcing another person (male or female) to submit to having his sexual organs placed upon them, it’s sexual. Sorry if that makes people uncomfortable in their fluttery little uber-heterosexual hearts, or elsewhere. And I’m not directing that at you, **malkavia** , I’m directing it at the “dudes” out there who think there’s nothing at all sexual about placing their bare scrotums on their friends’ faces in a show of dominance. Righty-o, denial boy. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/65 "2007-01-10T23:43:47Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] **DianaG** , I wasn’t cussin’ at you. I was just cussin’. Like “dammit” because my post was unclear. The order of the posts makes it look like I’m getting fussy. I promise I’m not. [/QUOTE] No worries! And also, my previous post should read: > [@](#): > > whole bean, Otto did call it rape, but it appeared to me that he was using the terms “rape” and “sexual assault” interchangeably, as you were. (Apologies to Otto if I’m wrong.) A weird little “since” somehow snuck in there. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/66 "2007-01-10T23:44:32Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] **whole bean** , \*\*Otto \*\* \*did \* call it rape, but since it appeared to me that he was using the terms “rape” and “sexual assault” interchangeably, as you were. (Apologies to \*\*Otto \*\* if I’m wrong.) [/QUOTE] not only did he say rape. he said first degree (the really bad kind) rape. that’ll get your ass 25 to life some places – for a tea bag? No thanks, I’ll have a Sprite. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/67 "2007-01-10T23:44:48Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] Well, as I said before, if I were defending the accused teabagger, I would certainly argue that the act was not done for sexual gratification. [/QUOTE] What would you say if you were prosecuting him? Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/68 "2007-01-10T23:47:13Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] I agree with you that it isn’t rape. I called it sexual battery because it meets the definition for that in my state. I don’t think it’s fair to compare joking jostling between a married couple to this at all, though. Some might want to characterize this as more of a hazing-type event with no sexual overtones, but frankly, I think that’s delusional. When you get the need to express dominance into play and a man is doing so by forcing another person (male or female) to submit to having his sexual organs placed upon them, it’s sexual. Sorry if that makes people uncomfortable in their fluttery little uber-heterosexual hearts, or elsewhere. And I’m not directing that at you, **malkavia** , I’m directing it at the “dudes” out there who think there’s nothing at all sexual about placing their bare scrotums on their friends’ faces in a show of dominance. Righty-o, denial boy. :dubious: [/QUOTE] and a girl who places her bare breasts or ass on a passed out dude’s head? ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/69 "2007-01-10T23:48:14Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] What would you say if you were prosecuting him? Just curious. [/QUOTE] why have my good cases dried up? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/70 "2007-01-10T23:49:31Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] What would you say if you were prosecuting him? Just curious. [/QUOTE] If I had ever gone over to the Dark Side, you mean? 🙂 I probably would not have charged it as a sex crime. But let’s say I was stuck with prosecuting someone else’s charging decision… …I’d argue that the jury can infer an act is done for sexual gratification simply because it involves the genitals; that to humiliate her, they could have drawn on her face with a Sharpie or covered her with ketchup and mustard; the choice of “teabagging” is _sexual_ humiliation and the result is sexual gratification for the perpetrator. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/71 "2007-01-10T23:50:50Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] and a girl who places her bare breasts or ass on a passed out dude’s head? [/QUOTE] It’s still a sexual assault. Why would that be any different? ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/72 "2007-01-10T23:51:54Z")
So this girl goes on a road trip with friends, has too much to drink, and suddenly finds herself in a strange apartment full of physically intimidating guys (speficially football players and other athletes,) who are there ‘trying to score with the girls.’ She’s too drunk to leave, is in a strange town, and is apparently freezing. She makes loud proclomations about how she has a boyfriend as is faithful to him, probably as a way of letting the guys know she isn’t interested. She hides in the bathroom for a while. When she gets out they won’t even let her have a blanket. Then one of them humiliates her after she’s passed out. The rest show approval. Charming. Looks to me like these guys were about two beers away from doing something _indisputably_ illegal. If the perp were left alone with her, I have no doubt he would have done more than described. This was a bad situation. I hope the girl got home okay and resolved to be safer in the future. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/73 "2007-01-10T23:51:58Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] why have my good cases dried up? [/QUOTE] If he was dried up then it couldn’t have been sexual. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/74 "2007-01-10T23:52:39Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] not only did he say rape. he said first degree (the really bad kind) rape. that’ll get your ass 25 to life some places – for a tea bag? No thanks, I’ll have a Sprite. [/QUOTE] **whole bean** , I’m confused. I’m not being bitchy here, I’m just trying to understand. I acknowledge that someone used the word rape, but I’m not clear on why the word is such a big deal, when you started with this: > [@whole bean](#): > > . . . uh, aside from the fact that calling it sexual assault is equating it with “rape,” Do you equate “rape” and “sexual assault”? If you do, then which particular word \*\*Otto \*\* used shouldn’t especially matter to you. Of course, if \*\*Otto \*\* \*doesn’t \* equate the two words, then he’s just wrong about it being rape. But again, I’m unclear on why that makes a huge difference from your perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/75 "2007-01-10T23:54:14Z")
After reading the linked post, I have to agree that what was witnessed was a crime. If I were in the area and knew the woman in question (no matter how annoying she might be), I’d be trying to put CFPF in jail, and **Architect Chore** would be able to start a new thread called **The Hardest I’ve Ever Been Beaten**. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/76 "2007-01-10T23:55:02Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] It’s still a sexual assault. Why would that be any different? [/QUOTE] breasts really? then what about a well perfumed wrist? a strand of hair? panties? It’s not any different; neither is a sexual assault. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2007, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/77 "2007-01-10T23:55:02Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] If I had ever gone over to the Dark Side, you mean? 🙂 [/QUOTE] You shine a light wherever you go. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/78 "2007-01-11T00:00:20Z")
As grotesque as this little episode of _Frat Boy Theatre_ was, you have to wonder why this stuff is horseplay if done to sleeping male, but sexual assault if done to sleeping woman. Somehow, I don’t think ATIAW would have delurked if AB was “annoying bastard” instead of “annoying bitch” getting teabagged. Why is there such a double standard here? Why is it so much more outrageous if done to women vs a man? Can you even imagine trying the case where a frat boy would be trying to make the case he was sexually assaulted by getting “goggled” by a woman’s breasts while he was passed out. It would be laughed out of court. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/79 "2007-01-11T00:01:23Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] It’s still a sexual assault. Why would that be any different? [/QUOTE] Because there’s no evidence that it is being done for sexual gratification. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/80 "2007-01-11T00:01:47Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] **whole bean** , I’m confused. I’m not being bitchy here, I’m just trying to understand. I acknowledge that someone used the word rape, but I’m not clear on why the word is such a big deal, when you started with this: Do you equate “rape” and “sexual assault”? If you do, then which particular word \*\*Otto \*\* used shouldn’t especially matter to you. Of course, if \*\*Otto \*\* \*doesn’t \* equate the two words, then he’s just wrong about it being rape. But again, I’m unclear on why that makes a huge difference from your perspective. [/QUOTE] The stigmatization is the big deal. Rape is the worst kind of sexual assault, but to answer your questions, yes, I roughly consider all first degree sexual assault as rape or rape equivalent – read: perpetraitors normal life has ended, sew scarlet letter here. I felt that the level of outrage in this thread exceeded the offense, especially when comparisons to “rape” were made. As you can tell, I don’t even think it was sexual assault of any stripe. All that being said, I think the act was abhorrent. I also think picking fights with smaller kids is abhorrent – neither deserve 25 years in the clink. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436.md?page=5)