# Sexual assault was your funniest moment??? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 10, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436 "2007-01-10T18:24:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/101 "2007-01-11T02:09:54Z")
> [@](#): > > It seems like you are saying that because a woman wouldn’t be charged, that a man shouldn’t be? Or am I picking up the wrong subtext here? (I hope so I am wrong). No, that’s pretty much it, at least as it relates to this specific incident. My position here is much like **Miller** ’s. It’s not rape, it’s not sexual assault, it’s just a stupid prank. > [@](#): > > Ok, let’s clarify. So what happened to Abner Louima, for example, wouldn’t be sexual assault because the cops involved weren’t seeking sexual gratification? Not in KY. It would, though, be sodomy in the first degree. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/102 "2007-01-11T02:28:17Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] When you get the need to express dominance into play and a man is doing so by forcing another person (male or female) to submit to having his sexual organs placed upon them, it’s sexual. Sorry if that makes people uncomfortable in their fluttery little uber-heterosexual hearts, or elsewhere. And I’m not directing that at you, **malkavia** , I’m directing it at the “dudes” out there who think there’s nothing at all sexual about placing their bare scrotums on their friends’ faces in a show of dominance. Righty-o, denial boy. :dubious: [/QUOTE] I’m glad that you prefaced that you were directing your comment at the _dudes_, rather than malk, because she would have a hard time placing her bare scrotum on the faces of any of her friends. Yes, darn right difficult. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/103 "2007-01-11T02:38:43Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] While the breast thing is also sexual battery IMO, there is the small matter of breasts not being genitals. If the guy wakes up to find himself being smothered by uninvited pussy, is \*that \* just harmless fun? [/QUOTE] I can’t say harmless or fun, but I dare say (absent the involvment of minors) you would hard pressed to find 1 in 1,000 males willing to press a charge. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/104 "2007-01-11T02:45:18Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] If the shitheads in the story had yanked the girl’s shirt down to expose a boob (also while she was sleeping) would that be considered sexual assault? I’m trying to understand what the criteria are. The act certainly was intended to humiliate, it seems to fit within the definition of assault, and it involved the sex organs of the assailant. How is that not sexual assault? [/QUOTE] no. on a related note: a boob is not a sex organ and the assailant’s organ’s didn’t participate (if your confused, the assailantg is the one assailing – i.e. the attacker). guys, you’ve had a couple of attorneys, familiar with such statutes and their application, tell you this probably isn’t going to be prosecuted as a sexual assault. if you want that to change, lobby your legislature. to review, intercourse will probably, at the minimum, require penetration. this sort of prank is not the sort of thing sexual assault laws were meant to address, for good reason, other laws laws punish unwelcome touching of a non-sexual nature. tea-bagging, as described, is no more sexual than rubbing ball sweat on someone. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/105 "2007-01-11T02:45:19Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] …the post in question refers to the nutsack in question being laid on not in the mouth. it will be an important distinction [/QUOTE] Her mouth was open. Are you really sure that no part of the scrotum went _into_ her mouth? Gravity being what it is, I’d bet that his scrotum “penetrated” her mouth, at least to some extent. And regardless of whether it actually went in or not (and we have no way of knowing), it is reasonable to assume that when placing a scrotum on the open mouth of an unconscious person, some slippage is likely to occur. In other words, the teabagger had to know that there was a good chance his balls would go into her mouth. If he really didn’t want his scrotum to go _into_ her mouth, then he wouldn’t have put it _on_ her mouth in the first place. The “on not in” argument is just silly. The “it’s not sexual, it’s just hazing” thing is silly, too. If some fratboy teabags his fratmate, it’s sexual. If his intention was just to humiliate him, he’d just shave off an eyebrow or put his hand in warm water to see if he pees or something. I mean, taking out your genitals is not a normal response to a non-sexual practical joke situation. **capybara** I was thinking about Abner Louima, too. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/106 "2007-01-11T02:45:58Z")
[QUOTE=yBeayf] No, that’s pretty much it, at least as it relates to this specific incident. My position here is much like **Miller** ’s. It’s not rape, it’s not sexual assault, it’s just a stupid prank. [/QUOTE] Ok, I am baffled here. So, if it’s just a “stupid prank” than why should it matter if a woman is charged or not? If you don’t think a man should be charged for something like this, than why does it matter if a woman isn’t as well? It’s more than a stupid prank-it’s a demeaning, crude act against a defenseless person. It would be loathsome if a woman stuck her labia in a man’s face. It’s horrid any way you look at it. The guy who did it was an A class jerk, and his buddies are assholes as well. Dismissing it as stupid hardly helps either males or females unfortunate to find themselves in such a situation in the future. It is sexual, if only because it is done to establish dominance. That alone likens it to rape (I understand it is not rape)–and makes it more appalling. But I guess it’s just a big joke. April Fool’s! Or no big deal. Wrong on both counts. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/107 "2007-01-11T02:47:34Z")
[QUOTE=yBeayf] It’s not rape, it’s not sexual assault, it’s just a stupid prank. [/QUOTE] Just out of curiosity, at what exact point does touching an unwilling person with your genitals become something more than a stupid prank? **whole bean** , you’re probably right, but IMO that’s exactly because no matter how violated he actually felt, he’d prefer not to listen to someone like you or \*\*yBeayf \*\* would tell him that it’s just a stupid prank and not to be such a fucking pussy. Thing is, that doesn’t mitigate the malicious intent of the act. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/108 "2007-01-11T02:52:20Z")
**yBeafy** -just to clarify, I am not directing my anger at you. This whole situation makes me very angry. The dismissive attitude shown by the attorneys here also angers me. If the courts dont’ want to deal with these messy issues, I hope that at least the colleges or workplaces do. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/109 "2007-01-11T02:56:44Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] Her mouth was open. Are you really sure that no part of the scrotum went _into_ her mouth? Gravity being what it is, I’d bet that his scrotum “penetrated” her mouth, at least to some extent. And regardless of whether it actually went in or not (and we have no way of knowing), it is reasonable to assume that when placing a scrotum on the open mouth of an unconscious person, some slippage is likely to occur. In other words, the teabagger had to know that there was a good chance his balls would go into her mouth. If he really didn’t want his scrotum to go _into_ her mouth, then he wouldn’t have put it _on_ her mouth in the first place. The “on not in” argument is just silly. The “it’s not sexual, it’s just hazing” thing is silly, too. If some fratboy teabags his fratmate, it’s sexual. If his intention was just to humiliate him, he’d just shave off an eyebrow or put his hand in warm water to see if he pees or something. I mean, taking out your genitals is not a normal response to a non-sexual practical joke situation. **capybara** I was thinking about Abner Louima, too. [/QUOTE] the “not in” argument is the very edge of a technical definition. a threshold as it were. if penetration is an element of the crime, it’s an element. don’t like it. lobby your state legislature. and you’re right, I can only knwo what the offending poster wrote “on her open mouth” not “in her open mouth.” as for the “gentials and non-sexual practical jokes” part of your post, you’re simply wrong. I give you streakers. Are you saying all those “streaking” traditions are sexual or just a way of flouting taboo? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/110 "2007-01-11T02:57:25Z")
[QUOTE=yBeayf] No, that’s pretty much it, at least as it relates to this specific incident. My position here is much like **Miller** ’s. It’s not rape, it’s not sexual assault, it’s just a stupid prank. . [/QUOTE] depends on jurisdiction, of course. In Michigan, non consensual contact of the breast, buttocks, thighs or genetailia is (depending on other factors) either Criminal sexual contact in the second or fourth degree (2nd degree is a felony, punishable by, I think, up to 15 years, the other is a misdemeanor). statute does say contact for sexual gratification, but I cannot concieve of a defense to deliberatly placing genetalia onto some one else that would not be assumed to be somewhat of a sexual nature. so, in MI, the person would most likely be charged w/csC in 2nd degree (victim incapacitation). ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/111 "2007-01-11T02:58:45Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] Ok, I am baffled here. So, if it’s just a “stupid prank” than why should it matter if a woman is charged or not? If you don’t think a man should be charged for something like this, than why does it matter if a woman isn’t as well? It’s more than a stupid prank-it’s a demeaning, crude act against a defenseless person. It would be loathsome if a woman stuck her labia in a man’s face. It’s horrid any way you look at it. The guy who did it was an A class jerk, and his buddies are assholes as well. Dismissing it as stupid hardly helps either males or females unfortunate to find themselves in such a situation in the future. It is sexual, if only because it is done to establish dominance. That alone likens it to rape (I understand it is not rape)–and makes it more appalling. But I guess it’s just a big joke. April Fool’s! Or no big deal. Wrong on both counts. [/QUOTE] because rape is a serioous fucking charge with hefty penalites undeserving of this sort of conduct. for fuck’s sake folks, get some goddamn perspective. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/112 "2007-01-11T03:04:07Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] **yBeafy** -just to clarify, I am not directing my anger at you. This whole situation makes me very angry. The dismissive attitude shown by the attorneys here also angers me. If the courts dont’ want to deal with these messy issues, I hope that at least the colleges or workplaces do. [/QUOTE] and your failure to read angers me. show me an attorney who’s condoned this conduct. you can’t. show me an attorney who says there is no remedy for this wrong. you can’t. rape isn’t the only fucking law in the criminal code. assault, indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, Christ almighty. read and you will see this conduct condemned, but not with the stiff penalites of a rape/first degree sexual assault charge. maybe some criminal codes have fleshed out lesser offenses to specifically target this contact - good for them, but it ain’t RAPE, it’s not vehicular homicide or wire fraud either, that’s all I’ve been saying. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/113 "2007-01-11T03:07:49Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] because rape is a serioous fucking charge with hefty penalites undeserving of this sort of conduct. for fuck’s sake folks, get some goddamn perspective. [/QUOTE] Who’s equating it with rape? Maybe some here have argued that it meets some _legal_ definition of rape, but I don’t think anyone here thinks that it is comparable to some guy holding the girl down and sticking his dick in her. Sex crime? Yes. Rape? No. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/114 "2007-01-11T03:09:35Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] Just out of curiosity, at what exact point does touching an unwilling person with your genitals become something more than a stupid prank? **whole bean** , you’re probably right, but IMO that’s exactly because no matter how violated he actually felt, he’d prefer not to listen to someone like you or \*\*yBeayf \*\* would tell him that it’s just a stupid prank and not to be such a fucking pussy. Thing is, that doesn’t mitigate the malicious intent of the act. [/QUOTE] never said it was ok. never said it wasn’t criminal. in my heart of hearts I can tell you that were this to happen to me reversed, I would not seek to press a sexual assault charge. if this were to happen to me as stated, I would not press a sexual assault charge. would I seek to press some sort of charge? sure, what that would be would be prosecutor’s discretion, but I see it as an assault (commonl law battery) and that is the crime I would expect to be prosecuted. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/115 "2007-01-11T03:11:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Ok, I am baffled here. So, if it’s just a “stupid prank” than why should it matter if a woman is charged or not? If you don’t think a man should be charged for something like this, than why does it matter if a woman isn’t as well? I don’t think either should be charged. I think it’s fairly clear to most people that both teabagging and a woman putting her breasts on a sleeping man’s face are just ordinary, run-of-the-mill mischief. > [@](#): > > It’s more than a stupid prank-it’s a demeaning, crude act against a defenseless person. It would be loathsome if a woman stuck her labia in a man’s face. It’s horrid any way you look at it. The guy who did it was an A class jerk, and his buddies are assholes as well. Dismissing it as stupid hardly helps either males or females unfortunate to find themselves in such a situation in the future. It is sexual, if only because it is done to establish dominance. That alone likens it to rape (I understand it is not rape)–and makes it more appalling. \ It’s just teabagging. Honestly, I think quite a few of you are acting like complete ninnies. Personally, I’d be _much_ more pissed off if someone drew on my face with a sharpie – that takes work to remove, while any lasting effects of teabagging can be eliminated with a wet paper towel. As was stated earlier, it’s just a ballsack. **DianaG** , > [@](#): > > Just out of curiosity, at what exact point does touching an unwilling person with your genitals become something more than a stupid prank? I’d go with the general theme of these statutes and say when the act is done for sexual gratification. And **wring** , > [@](#): > > I cannot concieve of a defense to deliberatly placing genetalia onto some one else that would not be assumed to be somewhat of a sexual nature. I tend to think an average (non-ninny) jury could be pursuaded that it was not with a bit of oral explanation and viewing a few hundred of the teabagging videos that are floating around various humor websites. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/116 "2007-01-11T03:14:55Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] Who’s equating it with rape? Maybe some here have argued that it meets some _legal_ definition of rape, but I don’t think anyone here thinks that it is comparable to some guy holding the girl down and sticking his dick in her. Sex crime? Yes. Rape? No. [/QUOTE] call it rape or call it snuggling, if it’s prosecuted as first degree sexual assault the punish met out, the reputation ruined . . . all the same. and btw, upthread, at least one person has called it rape, twice now. the probelm is, I see the consequences of this loose labeling; it all falls in the same bin. I have a problem with the term “sexual offense” to the extent that it captures statutory rape and indecent exposure. ruining lives and all that. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/117 "2007-01-11T03:17:40Z")
[QUOTE=yBeayf] I don’t think either should be charged. I think it’s fairly clear to most people that both teabagging and a woman putting her breasts on a sleeping man’s face are just ordinary, run-of-the-mill mischief. [/quote] you don’t even seem to be correct in this thread, let alone in the realworld. > [@](#): > > And **wring** , > > I tend to think an average (non-ninny) jury could be pursuaded that it was not with a bit of oral explanation and viewing a few hundred of the teabagging videos that are floating around various humor websites. and from my experience in my jurisdiction, that person wouldbe serving time. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/118 "2007-01-11T03:23:44Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d go with the general theme of these statutes and say when the act is done for sexual gratification. Let me amend that to also say I’d consider it to be so, when penetration of the sexual organs (including the anus) occurs, or when the other person’s mouth is penetrated by the actor’s sexual organs. > [@](#): > > you don’t even seem to be correct in this thread, let alone in the realworld. This thread does not constitute the real world. The real world possesses quite a bit more common sense. Also, what crime would it be, under KY law? I’m honestly curious. I’ve been browsing through the KY penal code and don’t see anything that seems to fit. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/119 "2007-01-11T03:34:11Z")
A. SDMB is quite a bit more liberal (generally) than the real world, so I’d tend to believe that if this thread were going against your position in this matter, it’d be damn sight more likely to go against you IRL. B. I don’t know KY law. I was responding to a comment thatthe action was NOT a sexual crime, and I was stating that in MY jurisdiction, it most certainly would be considered such. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/120 "2007-01-11T03:36:54Z")
So maybe I’m a ninny. But if I woke up and discovered that some guy had dick-whipped me and put his balls on my mouth and over my eyes, I would definitely pursue a sexual assault charge. I just can’t see how it’s _not_ sexual. Maybe I’d feel differently if I had known that “teabagging” was commonly considered a harmless prank. Think of this from the perspective of someone who’s never heard of teabagging. Do you really think they would laugh it off? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436.md?page=7)