# Sexual assault was your funniest moment??? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 10, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436 "2007-01-10T18:24:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/141 "2007-01-11T06:25:18Z")
[QUOTE=shijinn] i’d like for those who’d write it off as a stupid prank consider if their opinion might be changed if the teabagee/dickwhippee is conscious to put up a fight? [/QUOTE] If someone tried to draw on my face with a sharpie while I was awake, I’d probably put up a fight, too. What’s that supposed to prove? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/142 "2007-01-11T06:32:11Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] You really think so? I’d expect precisely the opposite. I’d expect a liberal crowd to get much more upset over something like this than a conservative group, who would be much more likely to shrug something like this off as “boys will be boys.” [/QUOTE] Really **Miller** , you think a political component factors in here? Conservatives are less likely to be upset over some guy forcibly stinking his junk in a protesting and/or inebriated (read unconscious) larynx? How does politics figure in with everyday decency? I may not vote the same way as my democratic neighbor but never in my wildest dreams would I figure our adoration of kids, etc manifests itself any differently. Apologies if I misinterpreted. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/143 "2007-01-11T06:41:47Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] My guess is that some form of penetration, digital, foreign object, coitus, is required ny almost every statute concerning the matter. [/QUOTE] What if he, or they, had tittyfucked her? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/144 "2007-01-11T07:04:10Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] Really **Miller** , you think a political component factors in here? Conservatives are less likely to be upset over some guy forcibly stinking his junk in a protesting and/or inebriated (read unconscious) larynx? How does politics figure in with everyday decency? I may not vote the same way as my democratic neighbor but never in my wildest dreams would I figure our adoration of kids, etc manifests itself any differently. Apologies if I misinterpreted. [/QUOTE] The behavior described in the OP’s link is gross, offensive & vile, but he’s not throat fucking her, and (IMO) conservative males are more likely (in general) to be less outraged at this aggressive hazing aspect of the behavior. Most people would want to give the perpetrator a severe ass-kicking for doing this to a loved one, but the reason would be because he had humiliated and disrespected them, not because he has “sexually assaulted” them. If every obnoxious act involving exposing yourself becomes some form of “sexual assault” then the term will lose it’s impact. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/145 "2007-01-11T07:23:22Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] Really **Miller** , you think a political component factors in here? Conservatives are less likely to be upset over some guy forcibly stinking his junk in a protesting and/or inebriated (read unconscious) larynx? How does politics figure in with everyday decency? I may not vote the same way as my democratic neighbor but never in my wildest dreams would I figure our adoration of kids, etc manifests itself any differently. Apologies if I misinterpreted. [/QUOTE] Okay, first, larynx? Since when was he deep throating her? As to how politics factors into everyday decency, I’d say it’s a pretty major factor in what we consider to be decent in the first place. Is getting an abortion decent or indecent? How about two men marrying? What about taking property from rich people and distributing it to poor people? You can’t really seperate politics and morality. The former is how we as a society hash out the latter. So, yes, do I think that conservatives would find this less outrageous than liberals, and would be less likely to consider it a major crime. Note that _I’m_ having trouble considering this a major crime, so I’m more-or-less agreeing with the opinion I’m assigning to conservatives, and I’m about as liberal as they come. Or, on preview, what **astro** said. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/146 "2007-01-11T07:26:22Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] Really **Miller** , you think a political component factors in here? Conservatives are less likely to be upset over some guy forcibly stinking his junk in a protesting and/or inebriated (read unconscious) larynx? How does politics figure in with everyday decency? [/QUOTE] Conservatives tend to be hostile to women, very much into male chauvinism, and quite lacking in everyday decency or any other kind. This is the kind of behavior I’d expect from conservatives; not the kind I’d expect them to oppose. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/147 "2007-01-11T07:32:23Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] If someone tried to draw on my face with a sharpie while I was awake, I’d probably put up a fight, too. What’s that supposed to prove? [/QUOTE] i imagine the police would more likely be involved if a person tried to draw on my face with his dick/balls rather than a marker. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/148 "2007-01-11T07:33:41Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Conservatives tend to be hostile to women, very much into male chauvinism, and quite lacking in everyday decency or any other kind. This is the kind of behavior I’d expect from conservatives; not the kind I’d expect them to oppose. [/QUOTE] Just to be clear, this is almost precisely the opposite of the point I was trying to make. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/149 "2007-01-11T08:17:37Z")
I always figured conservatives and liberals had at least a common goal, if not different road maps, as to how to get there. What a disturbing attitude your comments have exposed. Seriously, what’s been said just makes me move to the side and utter a big ol’ “dang…” ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/150 "2007-01-11T11:50:38Z")
[QUOTE=yBeayf] I don’t think either should be charged. I think it’s fairly clear to most people that both teabagging and a woman putting her breasts on a sleeping man’s face are just ordinary, run-of-the-mill mischief. [/quote] I think you’ve got a seriously fucked up idea of what “most people” consider a rollicking good time. > [@ybeaf](#): > > I’d go with the general theme of these statutes and say when the act is done for sexual gratification. And I think (while acknowledging that some statutes disagree) that’s a useless and ridiculous distinction. If you touch someone sexually against their will, I don’t think it matters much from their perspective whether your goal was “just” to humiliate them, or if you happened to get off on it as well. > [@astro](#): > > Most people would want to give the perpetrator a severe ass-kicking for doing this to a loved one, but the reason would be because he had humiliated and disrespected them, not because he has “sexually assaulted” them. If every obnoxious act involving exposing yourself becomes some form of “sexual assault” then the term will lose it’s impact. I think that you’ll find that most sexual assaults are about humiliation and disrespect. If there happens to be an orgasm involved, it’s pure bonus. I also think it’s safe to say that we’re in very little danger of considering “every obnoxious act of exposing yourself” to be sexual assault. The distinction between streaking and touching an unwilling person with your nuggets seems pretty clear to me. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/151 "2007-01-11T12:15:16Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Hardly; in the real world most people would call this sexual assault, and wouldn’t bother with all this arguing about whether or not it fits this or that technical definition. [/quote] I agree with you – but remember that the jump from “calling it sexual assault” to _prosecuting it_ as sexual assault requires consideration of technical definitions. A prosecutor cannot ask for a guilty verdict on the basis of “we all know what sexual assault is, right?” ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/152 "2007-01-11T12:15:57Z")
[QUOTE=yBeayf] If something like this were done to my date, girlfriend, or mother, I’d probably beat the ass (metaphorical or otherwise) of whoever did it. However, I’d do the same thing if they drew all over her with a sharpie, or did the hand-in-warm-water prank. In other words, I’d treat it the same as I’d treat any other sort of humiliating prank done to someone I care about. If someone did this to my sister, well, I pity that fool. She has a temper that you do _not_ want to mess with. I’d just stand back and watch the carnage. [/QUOTE] You are a genuine proto-human. Your affection for your loved ones, as evidenced by the myriad situations in which you would beat someone’s ass, has warmed my cockles. I’m sure this would be plenty sufficient punishment for non-consensual oral to genital contact. Just so I’m clear, what is the punishment for writing on your mother’s face (something like “jockstrap”?), putting her hand in warm water, _and_ putting your balls in her mouth? Supersized ass beating? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/153 "2007-01-11T13:28:54Z")
[QUOTE=astro] This is pretty much spot on. The behavior is extremely offensive on a lot of different levels, but (IMO) it’s the the aggressive alphaesque male domination aspect of this sort of behavior that’s causing most of the consternation in this thread. [/QUOTE] For me, it’s really all about the testicles. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/154 "2007-01-11T13:57:50Z")
[QUOTE=yBeayf] Sodomy in the first degree, not rape. Please read the relevant statutes. [/QUOTE] I did read the relevant statutes, which is why I put the qualifying word “if” in my statement. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/155 "2007-01-11T14:03:32Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Conservatives tend to be hostile to women, very much into male chauvinism, and quite lacking in everyday decency or any other kind. This is the kind of behavior I’d expect from conservatives; not the kind I’d expect them to oppose. [/QUOTE] Not that you’re given to hyperbole, or anything. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/156 "2007-01-11T14:09:31Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] So, yes, do I think that conservatives would find this less outrageous than liberals, and would be less likely to consider it a major crime. [/QUOTE] You think that, say, James Dobson would be okay with a young man exposing himself to a stranger and rubbing his genitalia on her face? They aren’t okay with someone doing this to a willing participant. Why would they be okay if she’s unwilling? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/157 "2007-01-11T14:21:21Z")
The idea that “conservatives” would find this less offensive then “liberals” is quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever read on these Boards – and that’s saying something. If anything, there appears to be a gender split, with many (though not all) males deeming this a prank and women being pretty seriously offended by it. Next up: How conservatives don’t like spicy food as much as liberals do, and how liberals like to swim more. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/158 "2007-01-11T14:51:33Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] The idea that “conservatives” would find this less offensive then “liberals” is quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever read on these Boards – and that’s saying something. If anything, there appears to be a gender split, with many (though not all) males deeming this a prank and women being pretty seriously offended by it. [/QUOTE] That may be true. I’m a liberal guy, and I’m more toward the “Eh” end of the outrage spectrum than the “string him up for rape” or whatever the other end was. The guy’s behavior was stupid and disgusting, and I wouldn’t hang out with him, but it’s about as much of a sexual assault as it would have been had she been awake and he held her down to fart in her face. If his intention was sexual, why didn’t he just stick his dick in her mouth? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/159 "2007-01-11T14:57:38Z")
[QUOTE=whole bean] and your failure to read angers me. show me an attorney who’s condoned this conduct. you can’t. show me an attorney who says there is no remedy for this wrong. you can’t. rape isn’t the only fucking law in the criminal code. assault, indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, Christ almighty. read and you will see this conduct condemned, but not with the stiff penalites of a rape/first degree sexual assault charge. maybe some criminal codes have fleshed out lesser offenses to specifically target this contact - good for them, but it ain’t RAPE, it’s not vehicular homicide or wire fraud either, that’s all I’ve been saying. [/QUOTE] You can’t read either–I said, quite clearly, that I understood this NOT to be rape. It is SIMILIAR to rape in that it is done out of hostility and a desire to humiliate and frighten the victim. Surely you can understand that much? I am fairly contemptous of lawyers in general and the law as well–to argue whether this is “winnable” in terms of sexual assault turns the whole fucking thing into some contest. Look at what happened here. Ask yourself if you would want that to happen to yourself or a woman close to you. M position on this is that it SHOULD be tried as sexual assault, and it if cannot be (and that boggles my mind-no wonder rape is under-reported if shit like this has little hope of being successfully prosecuted)–then shame on our judicial and legislative systems. As **DianaG** says, we are in very little danger of considering “every obnoxious act of exposing yourself” to be sexual assault. What is this generational bullshit? I am 44-I’m not in my dotage. If this is “normal” Greek behavior-then that system needs an overhaul, stat. If this is “normal” college age behavior (and some have come here to say it is NOT), just a “prank”, don’t be a “ninny” about this–be cool and suck it up and laugh–that is truly sick. Two of my kids will be in college soon. Apparently I have to warn them about complete assholes like these shinging examples of young manhood–they do their generation proud. I don’t think there’s a gender split. I think there are some males here who think it is disgusting and should be followed up on. There is probably at least one female here who thinks it’s no big deal or possible a great new party game-who the hells knows. But to those “men” and “women” who think this is a bunch of laughs, they are wrong–and have a fucked up view of what is acceptable behavior and how they should treat other people. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436/160 "2007-01-11T14:58:39Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Conservatives tend to be hostile to women, very much into male chauvinism, and quite lacking in everyday decency or any other kind. This is the kind of behavior I’d expect from conservatives; not the kind I’d expect them to oppose. [/QUOTE] This is, quite possibly, the goddamn dumbest asssed statement I’ve read in a LONG time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-assault-was-your-funniest-moment/387436.md?page=9)