# Sexual deviancy misunderstandings at work. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109 "2005-07-05T04:16:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/1 "2005-07-05T04:16:28Z")
Ok, so there’s a guy stocking the ice machine at work today. Here’s our conversation. Me: I thought that thing made its own ice? Somewhat Attractive Guy: \ ::notices my strategically placed bear pride button, and points to it:: You’re a furry? Me: A furry? You mean like the people who dress up in animal costumes to have sex? Guy: No, I saw your pin, and assumed that you were a furry. Me: No, I’m not big on animal costumes. It’s a bear pride button. Guy: Isn’t it a little… colourful to be bear? Me: I didn’t design it. I just wear it. So I never figured out if he was trying to say “Are you furry” instead of “Are you _a_ furry”. Because the answers to those were yes and no, respectively. And I hope he’s just as confused, because he probably thinks that he just got completely mixed signals, because I’m like “it’s a bear pride button”, and then denied being “a furry”. This thread is completely pointless, but it would have been worth the cost of subscription to see my bewildered face when he made the “bear flag”=“a furry” connection in his mind. Or maybe it was a big whoosh, and I’m going to get an axe to the face tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/2 "2005-07-05T04:24:05Z")
What’s bear pride? Are you a polar bear? I went swimming in the winter once and my nuts folded in on themselves like a quantum singularity. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/3 "2005-07-05T04:31:55Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > What’s bear pride? Are you a polar bear? I went swimming in the winter once and my nuts folded in on themselves like a quantum singularity. That’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever assumed I heard. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/4 "2005-07-05T04:42:59Z")
**friedo** : here ya go. ([wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_community)) ---
**Author:** ![tofergregg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tofergregg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofergregg)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/5 "2005-07-05T05:42:28Z")
Okay, I’m confused. Yes, I know what the bear community is, although I wouldn’t have recognized the pin. I still can’t figure out what the ice-man was asking. Funny story, nonetheless. -Tofer ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/6 "2005-07-05T05:48:07Z")
Since he wasn’t asking if you dress up in costumes… then yes. My guess would be an oh-so-sly bit of inuendo. Might you have misheard it? Maybe it was “Are you, uh, furry?” ‘uh’ and ‘a’ can sound awful similar… ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/7 "2005-07-05T05:51:35Z")
Why in the hell were you wearing that at work? In what bizarre professional world is any sexual advertising OK? What, you cruise your office? Geez. I mean, be _subtle_ man. Subtle and professional. I go for hanging O’Keefe’s “Grey Line” in my cube. Point made, but professional and adult like. Dear lord, tell me you don’t have any colorful little hankies hanging out your back pocket. And if you do, may none of them be yellow or brown. ---
**Author:** ![BadBadger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BadBadger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBadger)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/8 "2005-07-05T09:10:48Z")
100% agree with **Inkleberry**. Q: Why do you feel the need to advertise your sexuality? Are you finding it difficult to pick up men when you look outwardly “macho”? And why at work, what kinda work? Sorry for all the q’s but I just don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/9 "2005-07-05T09:22:08Z")
It all depends on where you work, guys. When I was with Amazon, it was par for the course for employees to have slightly risque things in their cubicle/on their person. I had an Olivia pinup poster on the wall of mine [among tons of metal/hard rock ads and such], and lots of the McFarlane action figures sitting about. Sports Illustrated type centerfolds decorated a lot of the cubbies. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/10 "2005-07-05T12:10:44Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > **friedo** : here ya go. ([wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_community)) I read this and laughed: > [@Wikipedia](#): > > There is much debate as to the definition of a bear, with some saying that anyone who self-identifies as a bear is a bear, and others arguing that bears must have certain physical characteristics, such as a stocky build, hairy chest, and facial hair. > [@Rowan Atkinson](#): > > Oh, so you’ve got to be _fat_ to be **stout** now, have you? ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/11 "2005-07-05T12:39:30Z")
I was discussing writing process documents with a co-worker once and we must have been on some knotty point of technicality that we thought would annoy people, because he bust out with “Well, as long as we keep it safe, sane and consensual.” at which point my eyes bugged out then we both cracked up. That’s not a phrase I expect most of my co-workers to have rolling off the tongue, nor, I think, did he expect me to recognize it. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/12 "2005-07-05T12:45:34Z")
For I all I know, it may be aok for **chaoticdonkey** to wear his bear pride button at work. I guess that’s between him and his boss. I think he was asking you if you’re a bear **cd**. Sounds to me like you got flirted with. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/13 "2005-07-05T12:53:58Z")
I’d assume the ice-machine stocker wasn’t quite up to date on all the in-crowd terminology & symbology and simply misinterpretted your pin as an advert for being a furry, not for being a bear. I’m fairly well-informed and rather open-minded about this stuff, and I’ve got to say I’d probably misunderstand your pin as well. In fact, I’d probably not realize that it had anything to do with sexual preferences at all unless the iconography was real overt. A bear on a rainbow background? I’d assume it was a California gay pride button, or maybe justa happy california beach & sunset thing having nothig to do with gay at all. Whenever anyone displays an in-crowd symbol to the world at large, they’ve gotta expect a lot of people won’t get the message correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/14 "2005-07-05T13:08:47Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I’d assume the ice-machine stocker wasn’t quite up to date on all the in-crowd terminology & symbology and simply misinterpretted your pin as an advert for being a furry, not for being a bear. > > . There must be very many people who don’t know what bears are–I only learned about it gradually by noticing that the handles of a few gay Doper had “bear” in them. That made me wonder if it had something to do with gay people generally, or with a specific subgroup. Then it was confirmed in a thread here. This happened over a number of years So I agree the iceman probably didn’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/15 "2005-07-05T13:22:26Z")
um… Am I the only one here who doesn’t know what a furry is? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/16 "2005-07-05T13:28:15Z")
> [@Endemic](#): > > um… Am I the only one here who doesn’t know what a furry is? Furries are people who get turned on by wearing animal costumes. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/17 "2005-07-05T13:28:24Z")
I’m sorry for being so mundane, but why doesn’t the ice machine make ice? Isn’t that why its called a “machine”? I know the flirting part was the issue, but, _what about the ice???_ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/18 "2005-07-05T13:34:29Z")
Am I the only one imaging the ice machine man speaking like Groundkeepers Willy? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/19 "2005-07-05T13:58:26Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > I’m sorry for being so mundane, but why doesn’t the ice machine make ice? Isn’t that why its called a “machine”? > I know the flirting part was the issue, but, _what about the ice???_ Said ice machine is a freezer, not an ice maker. Ice man was stocking bags of ice in it. I know how you feel. I was crushed when I figured out that those ice machines were really freezers and didn’t make and put all that nice ice in those little plastic bags. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/20 "2005-07-05T14:09:59Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Whenever anyone displays an in-crowd symbol to the world at large, they’ve gotta expect a lot of people won’t get the message correctly. You’ve got that right. I took down the parrot at work long ago because I got tired of everyone assuming I liked Jimmy Buffett. … or birds. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109.md?page=2)