# Sexual deviancy misunderstandings at work. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109 "2005-07-05T04:16:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/21 "2005-07-05T14:27:03Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Am I the only one imaging the ice machine man speaking like Groundkeepers Willy? No, no you’re not. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/22 "2005-07-05T14:38:38Z")
> [@Idlewild](#): > > I was discussing writing process documents with a co-worker once and we must have been on some knotty point of technicality that we thought would annoy people, because he bust out with “Well, as long as we keep it safe, sane and consensual.” at which point my eyes bugged out then we both cracked up. That’s not a phrase I expect most of my co-workers to have rolling off the tongue, nor, I think, did he expect me to recognize it. Similar to something I’ve heard described on Gorean discussion forums, where a girl has been given instructions by her boss at work and finds herself saying “Yes, Master” in response. :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/23 "2005-07-05T14:39:29Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > There must be very many people who don’t know what bears are– Count me in that group. Also didn’t know what furries were until just now. Learn something new every day… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/24 "2005-07-05T14:51:20Z")
> [@me](#): > > 100% agree with **Inkleberry**. > > Q: Why do you feel the need to advertise your sexuality? \ And why at work, what kinda work? > Sorry for all the q’s but I just don’t get it. Isn’t wearing a wedding ring advertising that you are a heterosexual, and commit heterosexual acts? So what if it _is_ socially acceptable. It is still advertising sexual preference. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/25 "2005-07-05T15:06:23Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Isn’t wearing a wedding ring advertising that you are a heterosexual, and commit heterosexual acts? So what if it _is_ socially acceptable. It is still advertising sexual preference. Well, I don’t really have a strong opinion on the subject at hand, but this analogy leaves alot to be desired. I don’t think most people with a wedding ring are advertising anything other than the fact that they are off the market and/or happily in love. I presume that gays would probably (and likely already do) wear wedding rings when married. (You know, whenever that whole gay marriage thing gets sorted out) Plus, even if you think that wedding rings are strictly “hetero”, it’s not intended to entice potential partners like a fetishist’s symbol is. There’s probably reasonable room for debate on the point you’re quoting, like saying a rainbow logo might be more acceptable than a bear or leather symbol, but the wedding ring analogy is a pretty long stretch. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/26 "2005-07-05T15:08:05Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Isn’t wearing a wedding ring advertising that you are a heterosexual, and commit heterosexual acts? Nope. A family friend of ours, a lesbian rabbi who is married to her partner, wears a wedding ring. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/27 "2005-07-05T15:36:27Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Furries are people who get turned on by wearing animal costumes. No. We’re not. That would be a subgroup of a subgroup of furry. Furries are anthropomorphic animals, and the fans thereof. Full stop. Some Furfans just like looking at pictures and reading stories involving furries. Others (like me) enjoy roleplaying as anthropomorphs (that’s roleplaying as in D&D, not as in ‘You be the naughty nurse and I’ll be the patient’). Others (called fursuiters) like dressing up in ‘fursuits’. Some 'suiters enjoy having sex in their 'suits. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/28 "2005-07-05T15:38:36Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > Why in the hell were you wearing that at work? In what bizarre professional world is any sexual advertising OK? What, you cruise your office? And there went the entire lighthearted spirit of the thread. Look. It’s a button, on my Wal-Mart vest. It has other little pins and a nametag keeping it company. I’m also in a position right now to where I don’t need to pick anyone up (at least I think so.) I wear it because I can, and because I work in a place where it’s acceptable to wear such a button. In my opinion, it’s better than all of the buttons with stupid things like “My hockey mom could kick your soccer mom’s ass” and “That’s Ms. Attitude to you” on them. From my POV, this isn’t any different than me showcasing my Squidward PEZ dispenser at work. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/29 "2005-07-05T15:44:00Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > From my POV, this isn’t any different than me showcasing my Squidward PEZ dispenser at work. I was fine with you advertising the fact that you are attracted to big, hairy men, and or are one yourself, but this one would be going **too far**! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/30 "2005-07-05T15:44:06Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Isn’t wearing a wedding ring advertising that you are a heterosexual, and commit heterosexual acts? So what if it _is_ socially acceptable. It is still advertising sexual preference. Not in the Bay Area. Or anywhere else I’ve lived. I know multiple gay/lesbian couples who wear wedding bands. And wedding bands are a sign of commitment, not _fucking_. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/31 "2005-07-05T15:46:09Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > And wedding bands are a sign of commitment, not _fucking_. ;;shrug:: You get the idea. Besides, having sex for the first time is called consummating the marriage, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/32 "2005-07-05T15:47:34Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Isn’t wearing a wedding ring advertising that you are a heterosexual, and commit heterosexual acts? So what if it _is_ socially acceptable. It is still advertising sexual preference. Not in my country mister! Our brand newest bill just passed, so now everyone can get married to whomsoever they love, regardless of dangly bits, or the lack thereof. About friggin’ time, too. And now I have to go find a Squidward PEZ dispenser for my wife, who has a vagina and loves SpongeBob SquarePants. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/33 "2005-07-05T16:40:15Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > ;;shrug:: You get the idea. Besides, having sex for the first time is called consummating the marriage, after all. Except for the fact, that, uh, your comparison holds about as much water as a sieve. Bear pride buttons are part of the way that subculture effectively says, “How YOU doin’?” much like the “hanky codes” of yore (and sometimes, today), the leather cuffs of the S&M community, and other subtle symbols various subcultures use to indicate availability and preference. Totally different than a wedding ring, which advertises the existence of a _relationship_, not a small solicitation for flirting and/or a pick up. Regardless, it’s still a pretty fucking tacky thing to do at work. If I were donkey’s coworker, there would be much giggling and :rolleyes: behind his back, because, really, how desperate can one person be? I’d feel the same way about a coworker wearing a button that said “Stud” or “Single as of 4/5/2005” or the oft-seen “I’m so good in bed, my neighbors have to have a cigarette”. Look, if you need to advertise that your goods are on the market, I doubt there are too many shoppers in your store. Save it for the weekends. Have some class. Be a professional. Fortunately though, donkey is only 19, so he’s likely to outgrow this “look at me! look at me! I have SEX!” phase soon. We hope. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/34 "2005-07-05T16:48:39Z")
I understand that the literal nature of what I said is false. The spirit still stands. As far as I can tell, socially, it is understood that a person is heterosexual. It is not fair to make that assumption, but it is, socially acceptable, as far as I can tell,. You might claim that the button is his way of saying “How YOU doin’?” How is that different from a heterosexual, whose way of showing they are interested in dating is to exist. How would you prefer he show he is socially interested? Flirt with every bearded man? Some of them are not available. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/35 "2005-07-05T16:59:50Z")
I LOVE that fact that it’s on a Walmart vest. Sam is spinning in his family values grave… 😃 I had no idea what a furry was, or a bear come to that(well, I know about Grizzlies and Polars etc). Learn something new every day. If I saw someone with any kind of a pin/button on that espoused anything at all at work, all I could do is wonder why the need to essentially wear a bumper sticker on yoru person? The ice machine is bothering me. It should make ice. Unless this is the freezer that holds bags of ice for coolers? One more question-how “furry” can anyone be at 19? Grizzly Adams (aha!) type furry or something else? ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/36 "2005-07-05T17:03:51Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > I understand that the literal nature of what I said is false. The spirit still stands. As far as I can tell, socially, it is understood that a person is heterosexual. It is not fair to make that assumption, but it is, socially acceptable, as far as I can tell,. You might claim that the button is his way of saying “How YOU doin’?” > > How would you prefer he show he is socially interested? Flirt with every bearded man? Some of them are not available. You’re saying the same thing over and over, although several people have already pointed out that you are wrong. I’m leaving this stupid argument lest it end up a pitting. > [@Scott Plaid](#): > > How is that different from a heterosexual, whose way of showing they are interested in dating is to exist. What the fuck. This sentance has so much wrong with it I don’t even know where to begin. Please go away. I want the 10 minutes of my life I wasted in conversing with you back please. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/37 "2005-07-05T17:11:50Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > From my POV, this isn’t any different than me showcasing my Squidward PEZ dispenser at work. I am so jealous! I just wanted you to know that. Some people will find _anything_ to get all in a knot about. If the man wants to wear his bear pride button, so what! Hell, it’s Wal_Mart. I see Wal_Mart employees with buttons all over their vests everytime I go in. I couldn’t tell you what those buttons say cause, well, I don’t give a rat’s ass. However, it must be an ok thing to do. **eleanorigby** indeed a nineteen year old can be quite hirsuit. Just as an example, I was shaving everyday at 14. Some of us just sprout hair early. I’m one of em. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/38 "2005-07-05T17:14:58Z")
I didn’t know there were people turned on by ice-machines. Learn something new every day… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/39 "2005-07-05T17:19:37Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > You’re saying the same thing over and over, although several people have already pointed out that you are wrong. Ahem. ::Clears throat:: May I remind you of your own stance? > [@inkleberry](#): > > Why in the hell were you wearing that at work? In what bizarre professional world is any sexual advertising OK? What, you cruise your office? > [@](#): > > I’m leaving this stupid argument lest it end up a pitting. Then my work here is done! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/40 "2005-07-05T17:32:59Z")
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