# Sexual deviancy misunderstandings at work. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109 "2005-07-05T04:16:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/61 "2005-07-05T20:47:29Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > It’s a button, on my Wal-Mart vest. It has other little pins and a nametag keeping it company. So it counts toward your required 37 pieces of flair? ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/62 "2005-07-05T21:02:18Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > (Note that it’s a fandom, not (neccessarily) a fetish.) Just curious if you think that everyone in, and close to, the culture splits the same semantic hairs that you do? I’m admittedly not close to it at all (read: having only seen passing references to it in various internet sites etc), but thought it seemed universally to be called “furry” in a decidedly sexual context. You may see the distinction as it applies to your own interests, but do you feel confident in objectively extending your definitions to the majority? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/63 "2005-07-05T21:15:29Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > You may see the distinction as it applies to your own interests, but do you feel confident in objectively extending your definitions to the majority? Yes. More than comfortable. Because it is, in fact, the majority. There’s just a vocal and media-friendly subgroup that get enough attention to skew the perceptions of those outside the fandom. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/64 "2005-07-05T21:17:25Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > **CD** is wearing his button to express pride, if anybody thinks it’s more than that, then that’s their problem. It’s okay to be gay, even at work, as evidenced by his employer (tight sphinctered \WalMart at that!) allowing/approving of the button. Now if he were going around, wedging intimate details of his bear-ness into every conversation, that might be a problem. TMI at work is a no-no, no matter orientation. I don’t really agree with this assessment. Sure, it’s a Wal\*Mart vest so we’re not exactly talking about a rigid workplace dress code, but speaking generally I don’t think this is correct. In business, and by extension in an employees work uniform/attire, you’re tasked with controlling the outside impressions of your customers. As such, “what anybody else thinks” is an important and reasonable consideration. I personally read the OP and made the assumption that it was a subtle form of cruising and/or advertising for sexual partners. I have nothing against the practice on one’s personal time, be it for kinky sex, gay sex, straight sex, bubble sex, or trekkie love, but if it’s possible that your coworkers and/or customers might interpret your “pride” as being overtly sexual it’s probably not a good idea to be wearing it in the workplace. Is it the end of the world? Not at all. But I think it’s pretty unreasonable for someone’s implication of it being out of place being turned into some gay-bashing close-mindedness. Saying it might be a little inappropriate is analagous to saying that some coed wearing a risque/suggestive logo T-shirt is inappropriate. [sub] I’m all for them wearing them elsewhere.\* ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/65 "2005-07-05T21:31:51Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > There’s just a vocal and media-friendly subgroup that get enough attention to skew the perceptions of those outside the fandom. Oh…to accentuate this point… About 12, 13 years ago, when I was first hearing about Furry, the ‘media-friendly’ subgroup were the 'suiters who liked 'suiting in their day to day life (which strike me as somewhat more off-the-bubble than those that have sex in them). I can’t pinpoint at which point people got bored with that, and they switched to the sex focus. And…just to add a sidepoint, there’s also more to the sexual side of furry than 'suitsex. The art, fiction, and RP also have sexual sides. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/66 "2005-07-05T21:37:25Z")
> [@Dolores Reborn](#): > > Thanks, **Swampy.** (Is it ok to call you Swampy? :)) Of course you can call me swampy! Heh. I’ve gotten so used to it, sometimes when I see swampbear, I think, who is that guy? Cool user name. 😃 I’m wondering if **chaoticdonkey’s** [Bear button](http://justpride.com/buttons.htm) is one like the fourth one on the page in the link. If so, I’m thinking that unless somebody actually knows what it means it’d be just another button on his vest. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/67 "2005-07-05T22:50:46Z")
OK-point made about the body hair. I guess I am glad that heavily bearded, hairy men are attractive to someone–not for me. (no offense meant to all those Kris Kristoffersons out there). Hey, if I worked at Walmart, I’d probably start piercing my body and tattooing it, too. And then I would agitate to be Greeter…heh. I hate Walmart. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/68 "2005-07-05T23:48:45Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Oh, what a pretty flower! > > [NSFW! copy of the painting.](http://www.mystudios.com/women/klmno/okeefe_line.html) I have no idea what _you’re_ looking at, or if that was somehow meant as a joke, but, uh, an O’Keefe abstract piece is totally worksafe. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/69 "2005-07-05T23:56:33Z")
> [@AveDementia](#): > > So what does [having sex in public with an audience and a tip jar](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6320075&postcount=13) represent? > > In your case, I thinks it’s **irony**. Except we will note that was not at _work_. It’s while at _work_ that matters here, I don’t care if he wears nothing but a gore suit with “insert hot beef injection here” written on his ass while out and about on his own time. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/70 "2005-07-06T00:31:42Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Am I the only one imaging the ice machine man speaking like Groundkeepers Willy? I was more along the lines of Groundskeeper Carl, from **Caddyshack** > [@](#): > > You got a pool over there? > > Yeah. We got a pool and a pond, Carl. Pond’ll be good for a bear like you. 😃 ( **picunurse**? you melt me. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/71 "2005-07-06T01:11:12Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > I don’t really agree with this assessment. Sure, it’s a Wal\*Mart vest so we’re not exactly talking about a rigid workplace dress code, but speaking generally I don’t think this is correct. > > In business, and by extension in an employees work uniform/attire, you’re tasked with controlling the outside impressions of your customers. As such, “what anybody else thinks” is an important and reasonable consideration. I personally read the OP and made the assumption that it was a subtle form of cruising and/or advertising for sexual partners. I have nothing against the practice on one’s personal time, be it for kinky sex, gay sex, straight sex, bubble sex, or trekkie love, but if it’s possible that your coworkers and/or customers might interpret your “pride” as being overtly sexual it’s probably not a good idea to be wearing it in the workplace. > > Is it the end of the world? Not at all. But I think it’s pretty unreasonable for someone’s implication of it being out of place being turned into some gay-bashing close-mindedness. > > Saying it might be a little inappropriate is analagous to saying that some coed wearing a risque/suggestive logo T-shirt is inappropriate. [sub] I’m all for them wearing them elsewhere.\* I agree, if the business owners and/or managers don’t deem it appropriate because their bread and butter depends upon attracting a certain type of customer, then you don’t wear it, whatever your meaning-- you agreed to follow their (legal) policies when you hired on. That said, times are changing and different regions may have different ideas about the very same thing. There are plenty of places where it would actually be an asset to wear something that would be wrong elsewhere. Where the OP works, it seems not to be a problem and who am I to second guess? To automatically apply my beliefs, standards, etc. _would_ be close-minded. Though I don’t believe this is one of them, there are issues where it’s correct when some people are upset. Sometimes the customer isn’t right and you’ll bend so far backward to please, your back ends up broken. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/72 "2005-07-06T02:38:12Z")
So, on this bear pride pin… is the bear, like, mounting another bear or something? Because otherwise, I’m having a heck of a time seeing why this is so objectionable. How is that “cruising” at work? And comparing it to the hanky code? Who the hell needs to “code” that they’re a bear? He’s a big hairy dude, f’rchrissake! People are going to notice! Now, if you want to talk “not appropriate for work,” let’s start with that hideous O’Keefe… thing. You can hang whatever you want on the walls at home, but a big, pale, bloodless corpse vagina does not strike me as particularly work-appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/73 "2005-07-06T05:12:54Z")
To clarify, it’s exactly [this](http://www.cafepress.com/ddrandrandom) at my cafepress store. (And yes, I did order it and my “A COCK HIDE TONY” shirt from myself.) ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/74 "2005-07-06T05:33:03Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > So, on this bear pride pin… is the bear, like, mounting another bear or something? Because otherwise, I’m having a heck of a time seeing why this is so objectionable. How is that “cruising” at work? And comparing it to the hanky code? Who the hell needs to “code” that they’re a bear? He’s a big hairy dude, f’rchrissake! People are going to notice! > > Now, if you want to talk “not appropriate for work,” let’s start with that hideous O’Keefe… thing. You can hang whatever you want on the walls at home, but a big, pale, bloodless corpse vagina does not strike me as particularly work-appropriate. Agreed. If I didn’t know about bears/pride, I’d see nothing but a striped pin with a pawprint. Could be anything from ecological whatsiz to camping whosiz. The O’Keeffe, on the other hand, screams “Look, here’s a picture of an enormous cunt.” And I like O’Keeffe. Come to think of it, I’ve never known anyone who _didn’t_ think of vaginas when looking at O’Keeffe’s flowers. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/75 "2005-07-06T11:44:14Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > I don’t know what you are trying to say. But you seem to be saying it a lot. You say this as if it were unusual. > [@chatelaine](#): > > The O’Keeffe, on the other hand, screams “Look, here’s a picture of an enormous cunt.” Hey! Maybe we could use it for… ~checks forum~ Never mind. Carry on. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/76 "2005-07-06T11:47:20Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Hey! Maybe we could use it for… > > ~checks forum~ > > Never mind. Carry on. :dubious: Er, pardon? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/77 "2005-07-06T11:56:08Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > To clarify, it’s exactly [this](http://www.cafepress.com/ddrandrandom) at my cafepress store. (And yes, I did order it and my “A COCK HIDE TONY” shirt from myself.) There’s an “Og Smash” bumper sticker? Does that have any meaning outside of the SDMB? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/78 "2005-07-06T12:55:15Z")
> [@chatelaine](#): > > Er, pardon? Oh, nothing. 🆒 But a suspicious person might have thought I was about to insult someone else I’d mentioned in the same post. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/79 "2005-07-06T13:11:52Z")
Oh, okay. 🆒 For a moment, I thought that person might be me and was thoroughly stumped. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109/80 "2005-07-06T13:14:33Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > What’s bear pride? Are you a polar bear? I went swimming in the winter once and my nuts folded in on themselves like a quantum singularity. SIG LINE! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-deviancy-misunderstandings-at-work/311109.md?page=5)