# Sexual 'E-Mails' By ultress **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 21, 2000, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463 "2000-04-21T13:42:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BigRoryG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f07891/32.png) [@BigRoryG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigRoryG)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/1 "2000-04-21T13:42:00Z")
[quote] Originally posted by \*\*ultress]/b]: "not to mention the fact that I am single and indeed sending sexual reference emails to most males on this board. " [/qoute] I happenedupon this little gem in this weeks threadspotting, and felt very left out. Since Cheffie and I have been composing hotlove letters to the girls, I, for one, think it’s about time the gentlemen of the board got some atention. **ultress!!** make with the love letters. \*I’m now on \> **ultress** ’ shit list. * * * “My drinking team has a Rugby problem.” Homepage: [www.I’mBig.com](http://www.I'mBig.com) Occupation: Photographer wannabe Location: The darkroom Interests: Yes. _Designer Sig and Profile. **Anyone without one just isn’t cool.** _ If you need a graphic solution,[http://talk.to/Piglet](http://talk.to/Piglet) ---
**Author:** ![BigRoryG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f07891/32.png) [@BigRoryG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigRoryG)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/2 "2000-04-21T13:46:00Z")
That was some weak UBB coding… damnation. Can the mods fix that? I wonder… EEEeeeeuuuuuttyyyy?!?!?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/3 "2000-04-21T14:28:00Z")
Well, if this idea takes off like wildfire, I know that Ultress owes me a note. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/4 "2000-04-21T14:57:00Z")
Hmmm, I’m feelin’ a bit lonely and unloved myself. Well, except for that one e-mail I found this morning from someone who shall remain unnamed; you know who you are. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/5 "2000-04-21T15:06:00Z")
BidRoryG, perhaps if you got your UBB coding down, you’d get your E-mail. I hear women really go for guys who can UBB code. 😉 * * * _It is too clear, and so it is hard to see._ ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/6 "2000-04-21T15:07:00Z")
Rory–You’ve been writing sexual emails for the ladies? Where do I sign up for mine? * * * ## Homepage: [www.idreamofjeannie.com](http://www.idreamofjeannie.com) Occupation:Wish granting Location: I’m still stuck in this damn bottle in Cocoa Beach, Fla. Interests: Getting Major Nelson in trouble, getting Major Nelson out of trouble –_Custom profile courtesy of **UncleBeer** _ I never hate myself in the morning. I sleep till noon. –_Custom sig line courtesy of **Wally** _ ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/7 "2000-04-21T15:31:00Z")
Hmmmmm, maybe, possible. I can’t start on this until Sunday. I’m on 6 days a week 12 hours a day until the end of May. Sunday is my only day off…but Roy you will definitely be the first. * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ Homepage: [www.superlativeandsassy.com](http://www.superlativeandsassy.com) Occupation: Temptress Location: Ultra, California Interests: surpluses, excesses, abundances, extras, lagniappes _profile by UncleBeer_ ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/8 "2000-04-21T15:35:00Z")
Long hours already. Rory of course is what I meant. :: Big Sigh :: * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ Homepage: [www.superlativeandsassy.com](http://www.superlativeandsassy.com) Occupation: Temptress Location: Ultra, California Interests: surpluses, excesses, abundances, extras, lagniappes _profile by UncleBeer_ ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/9 "2000-04-21T16:03:00Z")
See, I figured you meant, “TROY, you will be the first.” After all, I was the one who sent your thighs up in flames with my mastery of the written word… * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2000, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/10 "2000-04-22T05:19:00Z")
Howz about sending a hot letter to Drain Bead! One that is so hot, that you take this perfectly heterosexual being and make her think about a threesome! Consider this a dare… 😉 * * * Yer pal, Satan [http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif](http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif) _Still not smoking, but away from my meter!_ ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2000, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/11 "2000-04-22T05:58:00Z")
I think Satan has just found the ultimate in win-win situations. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/12 "2000-04-21T23:06:00Z")
I’m nowhere as slick as Satan. So I’ll just ask for a naughty e-mail directed straight to Coldfire, and Coldfire alone. ---
**Author:** ![BigRoryG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f07891/32.png) [@BigRoryG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigRoryG)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/13 "2000-04-22T00:05:00Z")
Jeannie, if you want a sexy love letter from me, you’ll just have to start your own thread… this one’s for Ulty. * * * “My drinking team has a Rugby problem.” Homepage: [www.I’mBig.com](http://www.I'mBig.com) Occupation: Photographer wannabe Location: The darkroom Interests: Yes. _Designer Sig and Profile. **Anyone without one just isn’t cool.** _ If you need a graphic solution,[http://talk.to/Piglet](http://talk.to/Piglet) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2000, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/14 "2000-04-22T23:18:00Z")
ultress, I want one too!!! * * * Homepage: [www.galacticgovernment.gov](http://www.galacticgovernment.gov) Occupation: Galactic Emperor Location: Trantor Interests: Palace intrigue, hereditary successors –Profile by **UncleBeer** ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/15 "2000-04-23T00:07:00Z")
Put me down for two, Ultress. Do I get a discount for quantity? ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/16 "2000-04-23T01:22:00Z")
Well Ultress, since you have been working so much and havent had time to play with me… hell put me in for one too 😉 * * * Give your children these two things: One is roots, the other, wings - Wally Wally He’s our Man ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/17 "2000-04-23T03:36:00Z")
I just got my email from ultress and … oh my… it’s a good thing nobody was in the room, because it had an effect on me. Oh, and ultress? It was really mean of you to stop where you did. _grin_ * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![DVous\_Means](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@DVous\_Means](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DVous_Means)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/18 "2000-04-23T06:13:00Z")
After much ROFLMAO with Mullinator and Cheffie, I’m eagerly awaiting some public postings of these letters. I’d love a letter too, Ultress. Please don’t make me ask twice… * * * Knock softly but firmly, 'cause I like soft firm knockers… ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/19 "2000-04-23T12:19:00Z")
**DVous** these are requests for personal emails, not letters. They won’t be posted on the SD board, if you want an email it will be send to your email address. **ChefTroy** now you know the effect your letters had, turn about is fair play. All the rest of you guys that requested an email, it may take me some time because of all the hours I"m working, but you will get one, and yes **Wally** you can get two. **Satan** you will need to make your request in a separate thread as this one is for males only. If I did do an email as you requested it would be sent to you, not to Drain, and she might not appreciate that… * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ Homepage: [www.superlativeandsassy.com](http://www.superlativeandsassy.com) Occupation: Temptress Location: Ultra, California Interests: surpluses, excesses, abundances, extras, lagniappes _profile by UncleBeer_ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463/20 "2000-04-23T15:09:00Z")
_blush_ OK, I just got mine. It was… quite arousing. Ultress told me not to dicuss it in public, so I’ll leave you with the information that the following ingredients were involved: a tulip field, a warm summer day, and a summerdress without anything underneath… Ultress, I’m waiting for Part II. It seems that you only have been writing the foreplay so far: when do we REALLY get rolling?? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-e-mails-by-ultress/16463.md?page=2)