# Sexual fantasies/fetishes that you would never carry out in real life **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2013, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061 "2013-04-07T06:56:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/21 "2013-04-08T04:00:29Z")
Rape, I guess. I also like a gang bang on video but shrinks say it’s latent homosexuality. I dream of making love to a whole lot of men??? Yeech… ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/22 "2013-04-08T04:04:59Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Blimey, I’ve got one hell of an imagination. My fantasy life is extravagant. > > How about: sex in public places? In the privacy of one’s imagination, it sounds most invitingly erotic. In reality? In reality, it _is_ erotic; at least until you come. Then, it _immediately_ becomes a bad idea 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/23 "2013-04-08T04:06:45Z")
The majority of things I fantasize about are pure fantasy. Transformation is about the only one I’m willing to discuss. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/24 "2013-04-08T04:09:33Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > That really depends how public you’re talking about. It’s really not hard to find good places. I mean, just park your car somewhere kinda secluded and not like across the street from an elementary school at 3pm, and there you go. Well, I was thinking full-bore exhibitionist sex, like aboard a city bus, or a crowded sidewalk. The fantasy is fun, but the reality would be…awkward. Oh, and… Bestiality, like, sex with a Bengal Tiger. As an idle daydream, one thing: in brutal reality? No way! (I know a zookeeper – a man – who was…ah…“propositioned” by a lady tiger. She sat on top of him and kinda rubbed against him intimately. He said it wasn’t in the least erotic at the time…) ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/25 "2013-04-08T04:49:26Z")
This thread is suddenly starting to make me feel a whole lot more normal! Thanks guys 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/26 "2013-04-08T05:34:51Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I want to watch a woman load a round into a revolver, spin the cylinders and slam the gun shut. She then proceeds to penetrate herself with the barrel of the gun and masturbate. At the moment of climax, she pulls the trigger. [Also available for children’s birthday parties.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=685481) ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/27 "2013-04-08T06:37:23Z")
I have access to the internet. From the privacy of my bedroom, I have looked at what other people have fantasized about (mostly in the form of erotica or porn videos) and decided for myself which of those things I’d like to try, which of those things I’m only comfortable reading about/watching, and which of them have no appeal at all. There are a considerable number of things in the “I only want to read about this/never would do it” category that are still erotic, at least on paper. I understand this phenomenon. I won’t be providing any details, though. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/28 "2013-04-08T13:41:46Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > There are plenty of women who have fantasies about sex with a stranger, even rough sex with a stranger where she starts out truly struggling, but then is overwhelmed by his manly manliness and succumbs and he leaves her begging for more. This is really, really common in women. For evidence all you have to do is pick up the nearest romance novel. I’m not generally one for evolutionary biology, but with this one I’d have to say it’s primal. Though I think cultural taboos for women to not be so openly wanton also plays into it. Psychologically I’m really into the dominance/submission thing, but I don’t really see that playing out in real life. My husband is an extraordinarily gentle person and I don’t even think he could fake being a disciplinarian. Writing about it is enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/29 "2013-04-08T13:45:20Z")
An ex-GF had a rape fantasy, but not by a stranger, by me. She liked setting up these scenarios where I would come to her apartment and sneak up on her from behind, tie her up and blindfold her, and have my way with her against her will. I was really uncomfortable with it. I know lots of people are turned off by this, but I see videos of girls gagging on guys during blowjobs- only when they appear to be doing it enthusiastically, not when they’re being forced to- and the idea of getting a BJ from a girl who is so into it that she’s willing to puke on the guy’s cock and keep going back for more is a real turn-on. But in reality, when my wife tries to take me so deep that she gags it freaks me out, and I just end up concerned about her discomfort. I’d never be able to allow anyone to continue to the point of actually puking. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/30 "2013-04-08T14:07:31Z")
I had no idea that these “rape” fantasies were so common with women. I don’t know how common a rape fantasy is with gay men but I can’t say I personally ever fantasize about being forced to have sex with another guy. I do think that forced sex porn is kind of hot sometimes if done well but I don’t fantasize about putting myself in the situation (either as the rapist or raped). ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/31 "2013-04-08T15:00:07Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > My husband is an extraordinarily gentle person and I don’t even think he could fake being a disciplinarian. I can relate. D/s fantasies are (to me at least) surprisingly common, and I’ve got it burned into my head not to treat the women in my life in any way but with the utmost respect and care. I find it very hard to fake a role like that, I just can’t throw myself into the part. I’m very, consciously aware that this is a roleplay game, and that she’s having fun. I am fine with the concept, on paper. But acting it out makes me uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Salamanda\_Palaganda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Salamanda\_Palaganda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salamanda_Palaganda)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/32 "2013-04-08T15:10:00Z")
My “rape” fantasies involve Centaurs…but thats more about being forcibly carried off than being penetrated by a horse dick. I sometimes fantasize about having a violet wand used on me…there`s something about the smell of ozone,the crackling sound ,the arcing light and the anticipation of pain mixed with pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/33 "2013-04-08T15:10:15Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > An ex-GF had a rape fantasy, but not by a stranger, by me. She liked setting up these scenarios where I would come to her apartment and sneak up on her from behind, tie her up and blindfold her, and have my way with her against her will. I was really uncomfortable with it. I had long talks about this one. I understand that this is about loss of control, particularly with a guy that the lady trusts completely not to really harm her in any way. For the D/s roleplay, it breaks the fantasy a bit when she’s volunteering to put the cuffs or ropes on herself. Then it doesn’t feel like a loss of control at all, and she can’t get into it. Basically, she’s trying to get you to pretend to “overpower” her, bring her to the bedroom while she’s halfheartedly-but-definitely-not-really struggling to get away, and push her down on the bed, and strap her down and blindfold her. That’s the fantasy. After that, she might like things to be a little rougher than usual, but it’s regular consensual sex, with some light bondage, and a little roleplaying beforehand. That all being said, as much as I _understand_ the fantasy, it makes me sick every time I would try to act it out. There’s nothing appealing about it on my end of the deal. Half of what I enjoy about sex is hearing/feeling/seeing the woman enjoying it, and if I ever feel like she’s not into it or that I’m forcing something she hates, I immediately go into shrinkage mode, because I am that not into it. I think I would be physically incapable of raping someone. You really gotta be a sick bastard to get off on that stuff for real. But I can’t even fake it. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/34 "2013-04-08T15:26:21Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > (I know a zookeeper – a man – who was…ah…“propositioned” by a lady tiger. She sat on top of him and kinda rubbed against him intimately. He said it wasn’t in the least erotic at the time…) Pussy. I’ve had fantasies of skull fucking a few people but unfortunately they are not dead yet…though I hear Yorick is available in a pinch. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/35 "2013-04-08T17:19:55Z")
It’s no fun fantasizing about it if I can’t actually do it. And I don’t have any desire to do anything particularly crazy, painful, or complicated. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/36 "2013-04-08T18:10:34Z")
To \*\*corkboard \*\*and **Askthepizzaguy** : For some women, the bondage thing isn’t really about bondage as much as it is being giving permission to not do anything. To have the encounter be solely about her pleasure, because she _can’t_ do anything. We’re programmed by porn and the fear of being “a cold fish” to always be doing _something_. Hands, tongues, writhing hips…moans at least. And that stuff is fun, don’t get me wrong! But sometimes it’s also fun to just lie back and be worshiped. 🙂 So I guess what I’m saying is, see if a verbal “reprimand” is enough for her and more comfortable for you. Not actual bondage, if you’re not into that, but a sultry whispered, “I want to pleasure _you_, so you keep your hands to yourself!” and every time she forgets and tries to reach for you, not a hit, but a gentle removal of her hand and a reminder, “No, tonight is all about you. No touching!” Another option is to tie soft rope or scarves in a big loop around the bedposts. She can “tie” her own wrists/ankles in them with just a twist, if she wants the feeling of pulling luxuriously against a restraint. This level of “bondage” I love, 'cause when my shoulder is about to pop out of joint, I can release myself. (Yes, for those into play, I totally top from the bottom, I admit it. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/37 "2013-04-08T18:34:48Z")
I have a question for the women out there that have the “rape” fantasy. Once you’ve established that this fantasy exists, would you be ok with a boyfriend to just out of the blue on a random afternoon/evening and pick you up and fireman carry you into the bedroom? Of course if you loudly and clearly said “Stop” it would end, but once it ended, would you be pissed? If it was someone beyond BF… say a fiancee or even husband? Would that change things? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/38 "2013-04-08T18:57:35Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > I have a question for the women out there that have the “rape” fantasy. Once you’ve established that this fantasy exists, would you be ok with a boyfriend to just out of the blue on a random afternoon/evening and pick you up and fireman carry you into the bedroom? Of course if you loudly and clearly said “Stop” it would end, but once it ended, would you be pissed? If it was someone beyond BF… say a fiancee or even husband? Would that change things? I’d be game. I doubt any of my female friends would, and a couple would be furious or traumatized. I imagine that’s a very individual preference that should be vetted before tested. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/39 "2013-04-08T19:06:10Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > [Also available for children’s birthday parties.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=685481) I appreciate you. (no clowno) ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/40 "2013-04-08T19:11:30Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > I have a question for the women out there that have the “rape” fantasy. Once you’ve established that this fantasy exists, would you be ok with a boyfriend to just out of the blue on a random afternoon/evening and pick you up and fireman carry you into the bedroom? Of course if you loudly and clearly said “Stop” it would end, but once it ended, would you be pissed? If it was someone beyond BF… say a fiancee or even husband? Would that change things? That is the point of safewords, isn’t it? You can assume your partner is okay with whatever you’re doing as long as they don’t say “banana pancakes.” (It’s not a problem at breakfast time because I hate banana pancakes) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061.md?page=3)