# Sexual fantasies/fetishes that you would never carry out in real life **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2013, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061 "2013-04-07T06:56:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/41 "2013-04-08T19:13:12Z")
And PS. my answer to the OP’s question is ponies ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/42 "2013-04-08T20:29:27Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > To \*\*corkboard \*\*and **Askthepizzaguy** : For some women, the bondage thing isn’t really about bondage as much as it is being giving permission to not do anything. To have the encounter be solely about her pleasure, because she _can’t_ do anything. We’re programmed by porn and the fear of being “a cold fish” to always be doing _something_. Hands, tongues, writhing hips…moans at least. And that stuff is fun, don’t get me wrong! But sometimes it’s also fun to just lie back and be worshiped. 🙂 Maybe, but I don’t think that’s what worked for her. It wasn’t about her pleasure, it was about mine. She wanted me to use her for my own pleasure- she told me once she wanted to be my “sex receptacle”. > [@](#): > > So I guess what I’m saying is, see if a verbal “reprimand” is enough for her and more comfortable for you. Not actual bondage, if you’re not into that, but a sultry whispered, “I want to pleasure _you_, so you keep your hands to yourself!” and every time she forgets and tries to reach for you, not a hit, but a gentle removal of her hand and a reminder, “No, tonight is all about you. No touching!” > > Another option is to tie soft rope or scarves in a big loop around the bedposts. She can “tie” her own wrists/ankles in them with just a twist, if she wants the feeling of pulling luxuriously against a restraint. This level of “bondage” I love, 'cause when my shoulder is about to pop out of joint, I can release myself. (Yes, for those into play, I totally top from the bottom, I admit it. 😉 ) I don’t think I’ll try that, since my wife would probably object to me bringing my girlfriend from twenty years ago into our bedroom. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/43 "2013-04-08T20:39:12Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I don’t think I’ll try that, since my wife would probably object to me bringing my girlfriend from twenty years ago into our bedroom. 😉 Some people are just no fun at all. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![slitterst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@slitterst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slitterst)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/44 "2013-04-08T20:55:38Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > The majority of things I fantasize about are pure fantasy. Transformation is about the only one I’m willing to discuss. Turning into a giant robot? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/45 "2013-04-08T21:25:29Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I don’t understand. I don’t either, but it’s kinda funny if you read it in the voice of Borat. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/46 "2013-04-08T21:42:16Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > It’s no fun fantasizing about it if I can’t actually do it. . . . Intriguing point of view! I take exactly the opposite: since my fantasy life isn’t real, but a wholly imaginary projection, like a (bad) movie, written and filmed and scored and directed entirely by myself, and with an audience of one – I can daydream about things I wouldn’t want to do in real life. I can play with ideas, as ideas, that would be absolutely unsuitable in reality. In the cinema of the mind, there is no exogenous censor…and no consequences for one’s actions, either. And, c’mon, who hasn’t had a “revenge” daydream, involving beating the crap out of somebody? Who hasn’t had a “bank robbery” daydream, or a “mind-reader at the poker table” fantasy? All of these are morally wrong…and wildly entertaining! ---
**Author:** ![mo50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@mo50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mo50)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/47 "2013-04-09T00:33:20Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > I’d totally rail out Michelle Malkin if given the chance in real life. In fact, it was probably one of the first things I thought after I first read her op/eds. “Man, this chick is totally selling her soul by penning this crap but she sure is purdy.” Same here, and add Sarah Palin, ashamed to admit! ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/48 "2013-04-09T02:25:35Z")
Virtually all of them since I have moral qualms against sex outside of marriage and I don’t really want to be or think I will be able to get married. ---
**Author:** ![DadWagonDriver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@DadWagonDriver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DadWagonDriver)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/49 "2013-04-09T02:28:56Z")
Jeebus… I’m so… _boring!_ ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/50 "2013-04-09T02:53:44Z")
Scenarios involving being asphyxiated (by some sort of strangulation) to death. Some involve another person, some involve being in a simple or complex machine that, once set in motion, can’t be stopped; all I can do is wait for the end. Sissification. Some cross-dressers are able to look amazingly feminine, but once you look into it, you realize that they’ve practiced, practiced, practiced. Makeup, clothing, the way you move, and so on, there are a ton of details to be attended to. I don’t have the energy to study it that intently, and I’d rather not just look like a guy in a dress with some shitty makeup on. Public humiliation. It is unethical to involve third parties (i.e. the general public) without their informed consent, so scenarios of that sort can only play out in my brain. There could also be legal/professional consequences. Being blackmailed into sexual submission. Back in the days of Usenet, erotic stories like this were fun to read. But of course, to _really_ give someone that kind of power over your entire life is dangerous. That’s all I can think of for now. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/51 "2013-04-09T04:46:25Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > I have moral qualms against sex outside of marriage How cute. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/52 "2013-04-09T16:34:21Z")
In short, yes I do. I won’t reveal details here because everything I say can and will be used against me. (should I start a “Zebra will post your sex fantasy thread?” no, I think not. I don’t think the mods would approve) ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/53 "2013-04-09T17:00:50Z")
One of my life mottos is; I don’t have sexual fantasies, I make sexual plans. So no, I don’t have any fantasies that I wouldn’t go through with. There’s really only a couple left I haven’t done. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/54 "2013-04-09T17:30:59Z")
Almost all of my sexual fantasies I’ve actually done in real life. Multiple times. Which means I’m very wild and freaky, or boring. OK, it’s the second one. But there is something which goes on, which bothers me a bit. My best friend in the world is an attractive leggy blue-eyed blonde, who has a serious reputation for being a, um, “floozy,” yeah, let’s use that word. She is very intelligent, kind, and likes a lot of the same things I do. She’s also a lesbian too, and really, really wants to have sex with me, in a specific manner. She wants me to tie her up with her bondage gear and be a domme, doing all sorts of rather awkward and painful things to her. How do I know she’s serious? For one, she brings it up all the time. For another, she flirts shamelessly with me in public, and when we’re in private…OMG. True story, I went to her house a month ago for Sunday morning coffee and chatting, and she answered the door wearing a see-through robe, garter, stockings, and 4-inch heels. And when I sat down on her couch, she bounced down next to me, swung her legs over across my lap, batted her eyes at me and said “feel my stockings, Una! Aren’t they silky?” and when I gave a desultory rub, she said “oh, I’ve been so bad, maybe you should spank me!” and flipped over on her tummy and pulled up her robe…it goes on. Eventually, when I sat there sighing and talking about the weather, she got up with a pout and brought the coffee, and we gossiped and carried on like nothing had happened. Until the next time I came over…lather, rinse, repeat. Aside from her, since about October at least 7 women I know have made propositions for sex, and I don’t know how many I’ve met casually at clubs. Three weeks ago a cute little Asian girl and her transman boyfriend danced with me for about half an hour, then the girl grabbed me to ask if I wanted to come how with them for a 3-way. _And that’s a typical night out at the clubs._ Am I bragging? Oh, _hell_ yeah, in a way, but I’m also confused as to why all of a sudden I’m being chased by these women. All my life only one woman ever wanted me, and then since October I’m like the $2 t-bone on super-duper-special at the meat counter. The only reason I haven’t tied up the blue-eyed tease and picked up her riding crop, or texted for some quick lunchtime nookie from the other girls, is that I’m married to the greatest and sexiest woman I know of. If you look in the dictionary under monogamy, it has my photo, with a satisfied but wistful expression on her face. So all of the above are sexual fantasies I’d never carry out in real life. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/55 "2013-04-09T18:21:18Z")
I cannot think of any sexual interaction between two (or more) men that I haven’t at least fantasized about. Some of them are way beyond what I’d actually do in reality, including some that are unethical and/or illegal. And I should point out that I believe these “undoable” fantasies are totally normal and healthy, assuming they remain fantasies. But all the ones that are “doable,” my partner and I have done many times in our dungeon, which is in the attic. For example, I think a whole lot of people have rape fantasies (as the rapist or the victim), so I can live out this fantasy with my partner without violating any ethical or legal restraints. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/56 "2013-04-09T18:21:45Z")
> [@Salamanda\_Palaganda](#): > > I sometimes fantasize about having a violet wand used on me…there`s something about the smell of ozone,the crackling sound ,the arcing light and the anticipation of pain mixed with pleasure. It’s really not as painful as you’d think, although it sounds AWFUL. It depends on where you’re being touched, of course. > [@slitterst](#): > > Turning into a giant robot? 😛 Mostly things like suddenly getting all the flaws of my body corrected, or sometimes turning into a guy. Sometimes darker stuff. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/57 "2013-04-09T18:47:17Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > The majority of things I fantasize about are pure fantasy. Transformation is about the only one I’m willing to discuss. > [@slitterst](#): > > Turning into a giant robot? > [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > Mostly things like suddenly getting all the flaws of my body corrected, or sometimes turning into a guy. Sometimes darker stuff. Decepticon? ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/58 "2013-04-09T18:54:42Z")
I love to see depictions of scantily-clad superheroines getting knocked out with punches, kicks, blasts, chloroform, knockout gas, all sorts of methods. I actually have a page at the “Deviant Art” website devoted to the subject. I have zero interest in doing this in real life, however. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/59 "2013-04-09T19:18:36Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Decepticon? go-bots ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/60 "2013-04-09T19:55:54Z")
> [@simster](#): > > go-bots Hey now. I have some standards. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061.md?page=4)