# Sexual fantasies/fetishes that you would never carry out in real life **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2013, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061 "2013-04-07T06:56:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/101 "2013-04-13T15:30:47Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Una, was this in pursuit of science? Can we expect a full report in the next Straight Dope column 😃 😃 😃 It was in the pursuit of…a wild party where things got out of control. On the second point, you never know. Keep on reading. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/102 "2013-04-13T15:32:48Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Way to threadshit, buddy… I thought this thread was about if there were things that the reader would never carry out in real life or not. Maybe how I feel is different than other people, but it doesn’t make the opinion or the choice less valid. It is within the parameters of the OP & I disagree with you. ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/103 "2013-04-13T16:19:56Z")
> [@Scholar\_Beardpig](#): > > My fantasy involves going to a key party, and everything goes alright. > > Milquetoast, I know, but I take what I can get. I actually went to a key party once, but the girl who got my keys had cold feet at the last minute, and nothing came of it. The thread is about sexual fantasies that you would never carry out in real life, and that is clearly something that you would carry out. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/104 "2013-04-13T16:59:31Z")
I have this fantasy that we will never carry out in real life: the baby is asleep in the next room and my wife and I are having sex, and when the baby wakes up…_we don’t immediately stop having sex!_ ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/105 "2013-04-13T18:31:17Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > I thought this thread was about if there were things that the reader would never carry out in real life or not. Maybe how I feel is different than other people, but it doesn’t make the opinion or the choice less valid. It is within the parameters of the OP & I disagree with you. Speaking for myself, I didn’t think you were thread-shitting, I just didn’t grasp what your were getting at in your post. ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/106 "2013-04-13T19:02:12Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Maybe how I feel is different than other people, but it doesn’t make the opinion or the choice less valid. Hi **Count**. It didn’t occur to me that **Troppus** was doing anything other than making a joke. Your response was entirely rational and mildly high-minded, so to curtly dismiss it as threadshitting was, I thought, funny. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/107 "2013-04-13T19:05:26Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > Hi **Count**. It didn’t occur to me that **Troppus** was doing anything other than making a joke. Your response was entirely rational and mildly idealistic, so to curtly dismiss it as threadshitting was, I thought, funny. It was a joke. That instagrammy, vasoline-lensed, tampon commercial romance in the middle of a clownsnuff deviance parade cracked me up. Sorry for hurting your feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/108 "2013-04-13T19:37:56Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > I have this fantasy that we will never carry out in real life: the baby is asleep in the next room and my wife and I are having sex, and when the baby wakes up…_we don’t immediately stop having sex!_ kinky! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/109 "2013-04-13T20:32:38Z")
> [@snailboy](#): > > So I’m curious if some woman did this in front of you in real life (but unbeknownst to you the bullet isn’t real), would you actually be into it or would the thought that she might actually die (which would never happen in your fantasy) ruin it? I believe my reaction would be along the lines of “AAAAAAH! Are you insane?? A loaded gun is NOT a toy!!! Take that thing out, unload it, and then we need to have a looooong talk about proper gun safety and our relationship.” > [@](#): > > Would it turn you on if you did know it was fake? Even a fake might be dangerous. Remember that actor who accidentally killed himself when he shot himself in the head with a blank? If I knew the gun was completely empty, then and only then would it be hot. ---
**Author:** ![snailboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@snailboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snailboy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/110 "2013-04-13T21:06:54Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Even a fake might be dangerous. Remember that actor who accidentally killed himself when he shot himself in the head with a blank? If I knew the gun was completely empty, then and only then would it be hot. I didn’t mean a blank but maybe one that clearly looked like a bullet from the outside but had no gunpowder in it or maybe just a shell and you only see it while it’s in the chamber. But I think I get it, you would be freaked out if you thought there was real danger involved but would be turned on if you knew it was fake. I didn’t know if the latter would do it for you since in fantasyland, there’s a risk involved (at least an imagined one; it’s not like you imagine her dying 1/6 of the time) while in real life, there obviously wouldn’t be one. But it seems as long as you’re able to pretend there’s a risk, it works. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/111 "2013-04-13T21:23:35Z")
> [@snailboy](#): > > But it seems as long as you’re able to pretend there’s a risk, it works. Even if there’s no risk, it’s still a hot woman masturbating while I watch. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/112 "2013-04-13T21:52:36Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I believe my reaction would be along the lines of “AAAAAAH! Are you insane?? A loaded gun is NOT a toy!!! Take that thing out, unload it, and then we need to have a looooong talk about proper gun safety and our relationship.” And then she pulls out the gun, and another, and another, and another, and you’d swear there’s no room for them in there but they just keep on tumbling out. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/113 "2013-04-13T21:56:02Z")
> [@Askthepizzaguy](#): > > . . . It’s just too big a departure to play a rapist. Can’t do it, won’t. Can’t blame you; your adherence to a higher morality is admirable. For me, I think I could play a rapist, but I’d want something that distances the play from reality. An agreed-upon safe word is absolutely essential, but, more, I’d want both parties costumed. Wearing things we’d never actually wear in real life would emphasize the fantasy aspect of it all. Batman raping Catwoman, for instance: very obviously role-playing. A friend of mine has a t-shirt: “My safe word is ‘ow.’” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/114 "2013-04-14T00:12:58Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > What, if you’re not into dom/sub, you’re now considered vanilla? :eek: > > Or is he without kinks? No, he doesn’t really have any kinks and would probably be the textbook definition of vanilla. He’s not even into porn. I once asked him what he fantasized about, and he said, ‘‘You.’’ He is a different kind of guy than most. But without fail he is always generous and gentle. Which I guess is my point. He may not be into my kinks, but we have earth-shattering lovemaking so it doesn’t matter. As for me personally, I don’t think I’ve ever had a single fantasy that didn’t involve submission (more specifically, bondage.) I’m trying to think of anything else I have ever fantasized about, and I’m coming up blank. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/115 "2013-04-14T06:01:53Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Good luck getting a really hot precocious 17 y/o to give you the time of day, though, unless you just sold five million records 😛 You might be surprised as some of these youngins have been taking the cougar thing very seriously. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/116 "2013-04-14T17:51:21Z")
Well, _this_ will be a weekend to remember. After the second party of the weekend, which I just got home from nearly 18 hours after it started, we can cross all the rest of the items off my prior list. I’m out. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![snailboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@snailboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snailboy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/117 "2013-04-14T18:49:20Z")
Video or it didn’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/118 "2013-04-14T19:22:52Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Yeah, you do sound a lot like my husband. And that’s the thing, I wouldn’t want him to even pretend to be someone other than what he is, because I find compassion incredibly sexy in a man. I don’t feel like I’m being oppressed because I’m with a vanilla dude. In fact, he may be the only type of guy I would want to have sex with. Flip side of this here. I have some fantasies that some might consider extreme (and then some might not, I guess). My wife, however, although an enthusiastic sex partner, has pretty straightforward tastes in this area. Oh, well, that’s how it goes. Can’t have everything. . . ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/119 "2013-04-14T20:24:23Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > Well, _this_ will be a weekend to remember. After the second party of the weekend, which I just got home from nearly 18 hours after it started, we can cross all the rest of the items off my prior list. I’m out. :smack: Ha ha, sneak bragging or not, with all the hateful, shocking, and incredibly ugly non-consent discussions going on in the Pit and ATMB right now, this happy declaration of a healthy, consensual, and colorful sex life makes me smile. Good for you! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061/120 "2013-04-14T20:39:18Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > No, he doesn’t really have any kinks and would probably be the textbook definition of vanilla. He’s not even into porn. I once asked him what he fantasized about, and he said, ‘‘You.’’ He is a different kind of guy than most. But without fail he is always generous and gentle. > > Which I guess is my point. He may not be into my kinks, but we have earth-shattering lovemaking so it doesn’t matter. > > As for me personally, I don’t think I’ve ever had a single fantasy that didn’t involve submission (more specifically, bondage.) I’m trying to think of anything else I have ever fantasized about, and I’m coming up blank. Well, high quality vanilla is a lot tastier than cheap almond mocha fudge ripple. And there’s plenty of ways to do bondage where the ‘dom’ can be quite gentle. And if he’s turned on by ‘you’ (a common turnon for guys, seeing their partners aroused) then he might find that doing something gently controlling without being degrading or humiliating or pain-inflicting could be quite fun for him, once he sees your into it. Or not. YMMV. Not all fantasies need to be realized. [sub]gotta go get me two scoops of that premium caramel marshmallow fudge ice cream the Mrs. picked up. I’ve been craving it all weekend…[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-fantasies-fetishes-that-you-would-never-carry-out-in-real-life/655061.md?page=7)