# Sexual Frequency: How often do you do it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460 "2004-02-10T15:56:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/1 "2004-02-10T15:56:23Z")
Just curious about the frequency of sex in adult couples living together, married or not. Of course I have found that the longer you are together the less often sex seems to happen. I’ve been living with someone for about a year and I find sex happens about every three days. Does that seem like too much or too little? How often do you have sex with your SO? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/2 "2004-02-10T15:58:05Z")
Every few…I’ll be back soon ---
**Author:** ![np\_complete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecb155/32.png) [@np\_complete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/np_complete)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/3 "2004-02-10T16:26:10Z")
Well, since we’re not in IMHO yet, I’ll hold off on the original question, but according to my copy of “Sex in America: A Definitive Survey” by Michael, Gagnon, Laumann, and Kolata (a large scale survey of sexual practices), Nonmarried, cohabiting men reported the following frequency statistics: ```auto [code block to preserve spacing] Not at all _________________ 0% A few times per year _______ 8% A few times per month _____ 36% 2 or 3 times per week _____ 40% 4 or more times per week__16% ``` Clearly having sex every third day falls within the “2 or 3 times per week” category, which puts you in the largest single group. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/4 "2004-02-10T16:39:17Z")
> [@np\_complete](#): > > Well, since we’re not in IMHO yet, I’ll hold off on the original question, but according to my copy of “Sex in America: A Definitive Survey” by Michael, Gagnon, Laumann, and Kolata (a large scale survey of sexual practices), Nonmarried, cohabiting men reported the following frequency statistics: > > ```auto > > [code block to preserve spacing] > Not at all _________________ 0% > A few times per year _______ 8% > A few times per month _____ 36% > 2 or 3 times per week _____ 40% > 4 or more times per week__16% > > ``` > > Clearly having sex every third day falls within the “2 or 3 times per week” category, which puts you in the largest single group. Whew…now, can someone please explain this to my SO? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/5 "2004-02-10T16:53:10Z")
I have been with my SO for nearly two years and we have sex every night unless there is something to stop us (staying at someone elses house for example) but you have to bear in mind that I only see her for two weeks of the month although i’d like to think it will continue to be a nightly occurence when we move in together. ---
**Author:** ![Survey1215](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Survey1215](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survey1215)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/6 "2004-02-10T17:09:24Z")
Pre-wedding - 4-5 times per week, and occasional bonus oral. Post-wedding - 4-5 times per month. Oral? What is oral? Please God, someone tell me about oral! Reasons for the changes: 1. I’ve gone from being in decent shape to having a bit of a gut, so maybe I’m not ‘sexy’ anymore. ☹ 2. All the pre-wedding sex led to the SO having a banged up cervix which is still very sensitive, putting her on the DL from time to time, often for two or three week stretches. Even when the going is good, position choice is limited - doggy style is out, her on top is out (which is terrrrrrrrrrrrrrible, b/c I love that), her ankles around my ears and stomping the pedal to the firewall is out. 3. I have no idea what the hell happened to the oral, but she has decided she no longer likes giving or receiving. Perhaps my abilities are lacking. Or maybe extra good oral is some dirty chick trick to get a guy hooked, to be stopped at some post-commitment juncture. :mad: btw, we dated for five years and have been married for four. And WILLASS, we did that long distance thing for a few years - if you think you’ll be hittin it every night if/when you get to see her all the time, boy are you in for a major, major surprise. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/7 "2004-02-10T17:22:10Z")
Even when you don’t marry you still get less sex than before. Especially if your going steady for 3-5 years ! hehe… reminds me of the infamous joke: Mom and kid go into a Drugstore and he asks: “Whats that mommy?” “Those are condoms” “Why do they come in different size packages ?” “Well… the 3 pack is for teenagers. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. The 6 pack is for College Students, Monday to Saturday.” “What about the 12 pack mommy ?” “Well … that’s for the married couples… January, February, March, April…” ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/8 "2004-02-10T17:24:44Z")
> [@Survey1215](#): > > And WILLASS, we did that \long distance\ thing for a few years - if you think you’ll be hittin it every night if/when you get to see her all the \time\, boy are you in for a major, major surprise. Jesus man, don’t tell me that! Maybe I should make her sign some sort of contract before I move in guaranteeing me a certain amount of head per week? Only kidding, my SO is a demon in the sack so more than likely it will be me that asks for time out. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/9 "2004-02-10T17:58:09Z")
> [@WILLASS](#): > > Jesus man, don’t tell me that! Maybe I should make her sign some sort of contract before I move in guaranteeing me a certain amount of head per week? Only kidding, my SO is a demon in the sack so more than likely it will be me that asks for time out. Thats what happened to me. She wants it every night, I’m content 2x a week. I thought maybe since I am getting older (31 now) its just a lack of the proper hormones or something…looks like I’m about average though. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/10 "2004-02-10T20:38:14Z")
Pre-marriage 12 months: daily, with “extras” Post-marriage: Has gradually tapered off after 11 years to once or twice a week, but the “extras” are still there, bless her heart. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DeaganTheWolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DeaganTheWolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeaganTheWolf)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/11 "2004-02-10T22:49:30Z")
Been with My S.O. for nearly a year now, and long distance for part of that time. We average twice a day with occasional extras if she’s in the mood, (which is often 🙂 ) and as long as she’s not sore. ☹ We most likely are the exception to the rule but the frequency has not changed at all due to distance. ---
**Author:** ![ski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@ski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ski)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/12 "2004-02-11T01:00:58Z")
> [@Bongmaster](#): > > Thats what happened to me. She wants it every night, I’m content 2x a week. I thought maybe since I am getting older (31 now) its just a lack of the proper hormones or something…looks like I’m about average though. Whew, I thought I was the only one. My girlfriend would have sex multiple times a day if we could. I would be happy with just a few times a week. We both just turned 30, so she’s on the upward swing of hormones, while I’m on the downward swing I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/13 "2004-02-11T01:39:02Z")
**Survey1215** , I swore I would never do this, and I am quite frankly a bit tired of posters who do it, but I simply cannot resist: “Bonus Oral” - great band name! ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/14 "2004-02-11T03:18:56Z")
I’m gonna screw up your sample: pre-marriage – 2 or 3 times a day post marriage – 1 or 2 times a day We’ve been together almost 19 years and married almost 18. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/15 "2004-02-11T03:27:21Z")
Reminds me of one of my favorite cartoons. A couple during their marrige ceremony at the altar both with thought balloons over their heads: Him: Great! Now we can have sex all the time! Her: Great! Now we don’t have to have sex all the time! ---
**Author:** ![Zaphod7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/df788c/32.png) [@Zaphod7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zaphod7)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/16 "2004-02-11T03:50:57Z")
hmm well my ex and i this happened to, we were “happy” moved in together and the sex life died. just happens im afraind. But my current gf and i started out strong had a down period (my fault was depressed) but now are back to every night except last night cause we both got a little sunburnt. i would say we are at at least 4- 5 per week now but occassionally have quiet periods of 2 or 3 times only. Zaphod ---
**Author:** ![Zaphod7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/df788c/32.png) [@Zaphod7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zaphod7)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/17 "2004-02-11T03:59:31Z")
> [@Zaphod7](#): > > hmm well my ex and i this happened to, we were “happy” moved in together and the sex life died. just happens im afraind. > > But my current gf and i started out strong had a down period (my fault was depressed) > > but now are back to every night except last night cause we both got a little sunburnt. > i would say we are at at least 4- 5 per week now but occassionally have quiet periods of 2 or 3 times only. > > Zaphod forgot to mention we have lived together for about 1 year now. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/18 "2004-02-11T04:35:33Z")
General Questions is for questions with factual answerws. IMHO is for polls. Off to IMHO. **DrMatrix** - GQ Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Nvme77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Nvme77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nvme77)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/19 "2004-02-11T05:10:16Z")
Before marriage- 4-5 times a week. After marriage- 2 or 3 times a month- and that’s a bounty. As the wife- I have gained weight, started taking Paxil which is terrible to my sex drive and I have gotten tired of initiating. My husband- is probably tired, hates having a beluga whale flopping onto him and probably has more fun on his own, ahem. I miss sex. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Toddly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@Toddly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toddly)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460/20 "2004-02-11T05:15:27Z")
I always favor quality over quantity but when the kids arrive and as the responsibilites grow the sexual sessions become less frequent. After 20 years or so we average about 2 times per week. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-frequency-how-often-do-you-do-it/228460.md?page=2)