# Sexual heresies. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 9, 2019, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295 "2019-04-09T18:24:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/41 "2019-04-11T15:40:45Z")
If you’re not using condoms, it’s even easier to tell. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/42 "2019-04-11T15:51:05Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Why not? Is the woman inspecting the condom afterward? Yeah, I was going to say, condom or not, I’ve gotten away with it when I just didn’t feel like finishing for whatever reason. I understand I may be an outlier in this regard, but guys can fake it, too. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/43 "2019-04-11T15:57:07Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Speaking of orgasms: men can’t really fake it. I get it if a woman fakes it, and I understand. Men can’t really get away with that. > > So, what do women think if a man had sex with you and didn’t orgasm? It’s happened to me, with a friend who’d warned me it might happen; no problem here. We had quite a bit of fun for several hours, and part of the reason it was fun was precisely the lack of pressure. Neither of us was looking for an LTR, neither of us was madly in love with the other (or with anybody else), and neither of us had any particular need to “perform”. OTOH, worst sex I had was with The Idiot Boyfriend, who refused to get out of the missionary position, expected me to come very loudly and according to a specific vocal scheme and would get mad if I ever said anything in Spanish (or even anything that he decided was Spanish). Hard to come when you’re your basic mystical Hispana and you’re not allowed to say “ay DIOSSSSSS”. I think that the enormous focus on specific sex acts and on trying to create KPIs doesn’t help anybody. As a wise woman once said, “it should be fun, not a chore”… or your yearly review, color-coded spreadsheets and all. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/44 "2019-04-11T16:53:17Z")
> [@Lizard](#): > > _“I got my breast implants to feel more confident, not to attract attention.”_ - Yeah, and there’s a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you. How does buying a product build “confidence” by itself? A C-note to anyone who can explain that logic. On the other hand, “People noticing you more and thinking your’e hot because of your bust” makes real sense. See above. One woman I know who got implants said so many of her clothes are designed around the expectation of having at least an average bust that, previously, she never felt like stuff fit her right and rarely felt really good about her appearance. Her new bust size (according to her) means that her clothes fit properly and she, as a consequence, feels better and more confident about how she looks to everyone, not just guys trying to bang her. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/45 "2019-04-11T20:02:20Z")
> [@Lizard](#): > > _“I got my breast implants to feel more confident, not to attract attention.”_ - Yeah, and there’s a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you. How does buying a product build “confidence” by itself? A C-note to anyone who can explain that logic. On the other hand, “People noticing you more and thinking your’e hot because of your bust” makes real sense. See above. Women get breast implants for reasons like breasts that never developed, or extremely asymmetrical breasts, or misshapen breasts, or because they’re at extremely high risk of breast cancer and decide on a prophylactic double mastectomy… Of course, most of those women are going to get something proportional to the rest of their bodies and not something exaggerated. So yes, sometimes it really is to make the woman feel better/less deformed, which makes a person feel better and more confident and no, not about attracting attention. And yes, some women get gigantic boobies because they like the attention. I just wish they could be honest about it. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2019, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/46 "2019-04-11T22:18:25Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > … **women are not vending machines.** Bolding mine. I know far, far too many men who should have this tattooed on their foreheads so they see it in the mirror every day. > [@](#): > > Sex is supposed to be fun, not work and not a chore. Which is why I rejoice in having become asexual. What a relief. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/47 "2019-04-12T02:25:05Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > Which is why I rejoice in having become asexual. What a relief. I would like to become asexual. How did you manage to do that? ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/48 "2019-04-12T08:07:02Z")
I saw a bit of Playboy magazine when I was younger, and one of the things I was surprised nobody commented on, was that all the women were photographed to emphasize the face. Sure, you could see some breasts, and sometimes more, but generally that big “breast” shot was achieved by looking down past the face, so the face was filling half the page, then the breasts were filling 1/4 of the page, then the rest. IOW, even the big “breast” magazine wasn’t really concentrating on the breasts. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/49 "2019-04-12T19:03:23Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Yeah, I was going to say, condom or not, I’ve gotten away with it when I just didn’t feel like finishing for whatever reason. I understand I may be an outlier in this regard, but guys can fake it, too. In our advancing years, Ms. Akaj and I have flip-flopped from the “typical” male/female orgasm pattern – now she comes every time, and I sometimes don’t. And yes, I still enjoy the hell out of it. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/50 "2019-04-12T20:56:11Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > The ideal female body size has been established by an unholy alliance of women and gay fashion designers. Who seem to think anything which is not skinny teenage boy type body=fat. This is extremely, amazingly true. In the course of having two sons go to their particular preschool, I’ve actually come into contact two of the teachers there who are/were Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Facially, one is kind of plain looking, truth be told, while the other was strikingly beautiful. And both look great in the uniforms and in the swimsuit photos. I’m mostly convinced that’s artful tailoring and photography now that I’ve met them in person. When I see them in person, up close, I don’t usually think “WOW!”, but rather “She’s TINY.” As in, they’re like 5’5" and 110 lbs. Borderline anorexic skinny. Definitely not hourglass-figure sexpots at all. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2019, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/51 "2019-04-12T22:32:35Z")
I can’t be the only one who read the thread title as “Sexual Hershey’s” and thought “Oh boy, sexual chocolate!” And I ain’t touching the rest of this thread because anything I say will just come out creepy. Probably doesn’t help that my inner monologue sounds like Karl from _Slingblade_. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2019, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/52 "2019-04-13T01:45:27Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > Fat, skinny, small breasts, large breasts, there are men with preferences for all of those but I think personality and general compatibility can greatly offset any of those physical preferences. Yep. I have a preference, I supposed for small-breasted women, even flat-chested women. And yet my wife, the woman I decided to be monogamous with for the rest of my life, is quite full-figured. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2019, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/53 "2019-04-13T09:30:27Z")
Yeah, I think people mistake preferences for mandates. You might like looking at certain physical features, and conversely they might get you noticed, but when it comes to spending a lifetime, or even just years, with someone the physical starts to matter a lot less and the personality a lot more. Me, I like a good beard on a man. I like the look of well-done and well-groomed facial hair. But the man I married had so much Native in him he could barely munster up peach fuzz. \*::: shrug ::: \* I loved the man, not the shell he occupied. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2019, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295/54 "2019-04-13T09:48:24Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > Yep. > > I have a preference, I supposed for small-breasted women, even flat-chested women. And yet my wife, the woman I decided to be monogamous with for the rest of my life, is quite full-figured. > > Go figure. Add brunette to this list for preference and blonde to reality and this could be me. I dunno, I like them all really. Preference sometimes depends on mood, state of mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-heresies/832295.md?page=2)