# Sexual Objectification **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 17, 2020, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003 "2020-05-17T22:33:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/21 "2020-05-23T23:09:57Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Yes, you overstated it. My point was simply that women must always make that calculation, and men do not. Do you want to restate your claim of a “fundamental fear” then? ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/22 "2020-05-23T23:14:37Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Do you want to restate your claim of a “fundamental fear” then? No. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/23 "2020-05-23T23:22:50Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > No. Then you have overstated the case. It may be true for you. It most certainly is not true for most women. It must suck to live in fear like you do. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/24 "2020-05-23T23:24:22Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Do you understand English? Don’t be that way. > [@](#): > > Let’s assume **Ulfrieda’s** claim is literally true. > > Women have a “fundamental fear” of men. > > Who is overstating their case? Maybe she is, and maybe she isn’t. But you are overstating what she said, and I’ve shown why twice now. I quoted her, and I quoted you, and the two quotes don’t say the same thing, so you’re failing in summarizing what she said. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/25 "2020-05-23T23:26:13Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Maybe she is, and maybe she isn’t. But you are overstating what she said, and I’ve shown why twice now. I quoted her, and I quoted you, and the two quotes don’t say the same thing, so you’re failing in summarizing what she said. No, you have not. Not at all. Not even close. Words mean things. You are ignoring that. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/26 "2020-05-23T23:37:07Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Then you have overstated the case. > > It may be true for you. > > It most certainly is not true for most women. > > It must suck to live in fear like you do. You’re clearly not reading it as it was meant. Sometimes different words mean different things to different people. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/27 "2020-05-23T23:44:30Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > This is…weird. > > I am 53 years old. I have been around the block. I have approached and been approached and most any combo you can think of with a huge variety of success and failure. Read…pretty normal stuff. > > I’ve even been married. > > What do you think you are trying to teach me? So you know how to negotiate hetersexual encounters without being the one doing the approaching. Then you read from **Ulfreida’s** post that women often feel threatened when men do the approaching. I suggest that relying on the modalities where women do the approaching would alleviate a lot of those tensions. What do you think you are asking me to teach you? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/28 "2020-05-24T00:38:40Z")
This is one of those things where “male privilege” exists…and is depressing. I have, upon more than one occasion, crossed a street to walk on the other side, so as to appear _less threatening_ to women walking on the sidewalk. Call it paternalism, call it misguided chivalry, whatever. I just know that I have seen the look of fear in women’s eyes, and it cuts deeply, because I am not a predator or an assailant. Given the crime statistics, I will not put any blame upon women, at all, for feeling this kind of threat. (I read “The Feminine Mystique” when it first came out, and it was an eye-opener.) ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/29 "2020-05-24T00:56:13Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > You’re clearly not reading it as it was meant. > > Sometimes different words mean different things to different people. This…wow… Please tell me what was meant as opposed to what was written. When you are done with that tell me why what was written is not what she meant. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/30 "2020-05-24T01:02:41Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > So you know how to negotiate hetersexual encounters without being the one doing the approaching. Then you read from **Ulfreida’s** post that women often feel threatened when men do the approaching. I suggest that relying on the modalities where women do the approaching would alleviate a lot of those tensions. > > What do you think you are asking me to teach you? Err…what? - I have approached women and been rejected. - I have approached women and been successful. - Women have approached me and been rejected. - Women have approached me and been successful. Honestly my life has been pretty normal in this regard. You have nothing to teach me. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/31 "2020-05-24T01:04:22Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > This is one of those things where “male privilege” exists…and is depressing. Reading your posts is depressing. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/32 "2020-05-24T01:05:03Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > This…wow… > > Please tell me what was meant as opposed to what was written. > > When you are done with that tell me why what was written is not what she meant. The poster already explained it. I think her words are clear. You might feel otherwise, but that doesn’t mean she made an error. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/33 "2020-05-24T01:06:33Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > The poster already explained it. I think her words are clear. You might feel otherwise, but that doesn’t mean she made an error. I have asked for clarification on her words and none have been forthcoming. So, not clear at all. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/34 "2020-05-24T01:30:52Z")
Post #20 seemed very clear to me. What part of it didn’t you understand? ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/35 "2020-05-24T01:51:27Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Post #20 seemed very clear to me. What part of it didn’t you understand? Post #21 ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/36 "2020-05-24T01:58:33Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Post #21 You’re harping on the specific wording of an earlier post when a later post makes the meaning very clear. Once again, what, if anything, in post #20 wasn’t clear to you? ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/37 "2020-05-24T02:56:59Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > You’re harping on the specific wording of an earlier post when a later post makes the meaning very clear. Once again, what, if anything, in post #20 wasn’t clear to you? Words mean things. If you want to argue they mean what you think they mean then have at it. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/38 "2020-05-24T03:25:39Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > How are men supposed to approach a woman they may have interest in? If every woman I approach sees me as a rapist/violent predator what am I to do? There is a very long distance between seeing every man as a rapist and not being certain that any given strange man isn’t a rapist. > [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > What do you think you are trying to teach me? You specifically asked (see above) “what am I to do?” If you’re going to ask a question like that, it seems unreasonable to expect that nobody will try to answer it. > [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > It most certainly is not true for most women… On what authority do you make that claim? I have driven all around this country alone, when I was in my twenties. I have hitchhiked and picked up hitchhikers. I have lived alone in houses with no locks on the doors. I have shared houses, and sometimes beds, with men. I have most certainly not spent my life hiding under the bed. But yes, that calculation is always there, in a corner of my mind. That’s the world we live in. It’s the world you’re living in too, whether you want to see it or not. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/39 "2020-05-24T03:52:04Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > There is a very long distance between seeing every man as a rapist and not being certain that any given strange man isn’t a rapist. I do not know what this means. > [@](#): > > You specifically asked (see above) “what am I to do?” If you’re going to ask a question like that, it seems unreasonable to expect that nobody will try to answer it. I do not know what this means. > [@](#): > > On what authority do you make that claim? On what authority is the claim I am responding to made? > [@](#): > > I have driven all around this country alone, when I was in my twenties. I have hitchhiked and picked up hitchhikers. I have lived alone in houses with no locks on the doors. I have shared houses, and sometimes beds, with men. I have most certainly not spent my life hiding under the bed. But yes, that calculation is always there, in a corner of my mind. That’s the world we live in. It’s the world you’re living in too, whether you want to see it or not. Super anecdote. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003/40 "2020-05-24T04:13:14Z")
Some of these unrealistic points of views have unworkable intrinsic paradoxes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-objectification/854003.md?page=3)