# Sexual privacy: so much for that idea **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 13, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338 "2009-05-13T20:31:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/21 "2009-05-13T22:51:16Z")
It seems that regulating this particular behavior is counterproductive. Mandating that she takes steps to ensure that her personal behavior has limited effect on her neighbors makes more sense: soundproofing, keeping her floors and bed in good repair, moving to a first floor flat, if she was above someone, keeping her bed away from the wall, sound reducing curtains over the windows to be drawn before engaging in loud activities of any sort, and so on. Instead of fixing the problem, they’re focusing on a person, which seems likely to create a backlash effect. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/22 "2009-05-13T23:34:25Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > [Turnabout is fair play…](http://xkcd.com/316/) Ha; I like the mouseover about “aberrant behavior”. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/23 "2009-05-13T23:36:53Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > It’s absurd to forbid her to make noise during sex, or it would be in my country. For one thing, what’s been forbidden is not her making noise during sex, but her making **so much** noise during sex that it disturbs the neighbors. For another thing, where’d you get the idea that forbidding excessive noisemaking in the context of what’s supposed to be one’s private life would necessarily be considered “absurd” in the US? News stories abound concerning US residents who’ve been slapped with fines or hauled into court for making too much noise in even weirder circumstances: [The Cox News Service reports that the actor Matthew McConaughey was fined $50 for a night of naked bongo drumming for violating the Austin, Texas noise ordinance.](http://www.nonoise.org/news/1999/nov14.htm#Actor%20Fined%2050%20for%20Breaking%20Noise%20Ordinance%20During%20Naked%20Drumming%20Session%20in%20Austin%20Texas) [Neighbors of Sex Club in Hollywood Try to Shut it Down Due to Noise and Parking Problems](http://www.nonoise.org/news/1997/oct19.htm#Neighbors%20of%20Sex%20Club%20in%20Hollywood%20Try%20to%20Shut%20it%20Down%20Due%20to%20Noise%20and%20Parking%20Problems) [Condo Owner Questions Whether Neighbor Can Legally Complain About Noisy Children in Condo Complex […] the association cannot fine for normal noise made by children, but if the noise were excessive, the association could legally cite the family with a violation and a fine. Additionally, the complaining homeowner also has the right to notify the police about the noise or to take the family to small claims court.](http://www.nonoise.org/news/2000/mar12.htm#Condo%20Owner%20Questions%20Whether%20Neighbor%20Can%20Legally%20Complain%20About%20Noisy%20Children%20in%20Condo%20Complex) And just for laughs, though it’s not from the US, here’s another noisy-sex story: [German Court Asks Couple to Make Love to Test Noise Levels After Complaints From Neighbors](http://www.nonoise.org/news/1997/jun8.htm#German%20Court%20Asks%20Couple%20to%20Make%20Love%20to%20Test%20Noise%20Levels%20After%20Complaints%20From%20Neighbors) > [@](#): > > [A] magistrate in Warendorf, Germany has asked a couple to make love so that officials can check how noisy they are, after complaints from neighbors about the noise levels. The article says the magistrate first asked the couple if they would move, but when they said they wouldn’t, they agreed to have their noise levels monitored. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/24 "2009-05-14T00:11:33Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Having loud sex with each other? Make a reality show out of it, and put it on MTV. > > Ratings, baby! > > Regards, > Shodan I think you could be on to a winner. A sort of XXX Wife Swap thing. 🙂 I could well be wrong, but I doubt whether a couple this unconcerned with the feelings of their neighbours would have had just this one fault. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/25 "2009-05-14T12:45:44Z")
Next up on the BBC: 1820 House, Year Three. Join our participants as they re-create what life was like in a brothel exactly like the one Fanny Hill worked in. Tonights episode: Maintaining good relations with the neighbours. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/26 "2009-05-14T13:26:22Z")
**Kimstu,** thank you for providing examples of officious noise suppression in the US. They were entertaining, but you didn’t disprove what I said. Those examples are rather absurd.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/27 "2009-05-14T16:24:34Z")
> [@firstname](#): > > Whats stopping her installing some simple soundproofing? That would be like installing curtains. If she’s too dense to figure it out then I think she’s an exhibitionist looking for the thrill of an audience. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/28 "2009-05-14T16:45:06Z")
> [@ITR\_champion](#): > > Now as we have a a crowd here who support privacy in sexual matters, I imagine most of us would agree that legal involvement here is wrong. But out of curiosity, does anybody feel that this sort of thing is justified? Well, let that be a lesson to you. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/29 "2009-05-14T17:16:05Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > How one earth are they going to (and how did they) prove she’s making the noises during sex? Yeah, we can all guess what it sounds like, but where’s the actual proof? According to [other coverage](http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/search/4315816.Woman_breaches __noisy_sex__ Asbo/), they recorded her. [QUOTE=The Northern Echo] An environmental Health Officer told the court that Sunderland Council had received 250 complaints on its logging system and recordings made from a neighbour’s house were played in open court. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/30 "2009-05-14T17:18:53Z")
Me, I think they should change the building codes to mandate noise suppression. I would call them the “Fran Drescher codes”, because hearing her scream in sexual extasy is one of my worst nightmares. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/31 "2009-05-14T18:19:03Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Kimstu, thank you for providing examples of officious noise suppression in the US. They were entertaining, but you didn’t disprove what I said. Those examples are rather absurd. Oh, I see. I thought that when you said the UK court decision “would” be absurd “in my country”, you meant that Americans in general would be opposed to “officious noise suppression” for excessive noise from people’s private activities, which I think is inaccurate. ISTM that most Americans, including most of the ones in this thread, don’t consider it at all absurd to maintain that people who are just persistently too goddamn loud should be officially told to keep it down, irrespective of what it is they’re being too loud about. However, if you just meant that you personally consider that kind of noise regulation absurd, then you’re certainly right that I haven’t disproved that. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/32 "2009-05-16T16:22:12Z")
What is the consequence of violating an ASBO? Can she then be prosecuted criminally? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/33 "2009-05-19T17:29:34Z")
Kimstu, I didn’t mean that such rulings wouldn’t happen here; some of them probably would. I didn’t just mean that I think they’re absurd, either. I mean they’re absurd enough to be mocked on late night talk shows, or places like News of The Weird and The Daily Show. Being publicly mocked, of course, has no legal bearing. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338/34 "2009-05-19T17:49:33Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > How one earth are they going to (and how did they) prove she’s making the noises during sex? Yeah, we can all guess what it sounds like, but where’s the actual proof? In my town, cops carry sound meters and tape recorders in their patrol cars. If the cop records X decibels for X seconds, then you get a ticket for violating the city noise ordinance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-privacy-so-much-for-that-idea/496338.md?page=1)