# Sexual stamina: how much is too much? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 15, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363 "2010-06-15T22:50:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/21 "2010-06-16T04:26:36Z")
(gay here) I go as long as my SO indicates he wants or can handle. If I’m not done yet, we take care of it another way. No problem. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/22 "2010-06-16T09:02:15Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Because women take longer to finish than guys do and a guy who doesn’t last long enough to please his partner is going to take a huge ego hit. > [@OpalCat](#): > > Me, I get tired. Then I get sore. That’s the thing. If the guy lasts too long doing the exact same pattern, I do not, will not, can not come. I need the guy to last long enough for me to reach buildup and then I need him to Stop. Right. There. For a second. A giant, 6’-tall, hips-as-wide-as-mine, constant rythm dildo does not work. I’m also perfectly happy with not coming during PiV, the rest of my body and yours are sexual organs too. My definition of “sex” isn’t limited to PiV. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/23 "2010-06-16T11:39:41Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > oragasm I’ve heard tell about those - so good you fold in half. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/24 "2010-06-16T14:44:38Z")
for me(straight guy) reaching an orgasme has never been easy, when making love to new partner I dont expect to finish for at least the first week, but since I started taking anti depression medication…I cant even compleet manually, ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/25 "2010-06-16T14:51:03Z")
> [@willthekittensurvive](#): > > for me(straight guy) reaching an orgasme has never been easy, when making love to new partner I dont expect to finish for at least the first week, but since I started taking anti depression medication…I cant even compleet manually, With all due respect for the actual content of your post, I just wanted to note that the user name-post combination is fantastic. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/26 "2010-06-16T15:01:01Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > I can finish almost on que. Que? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/27 "2010-06-16T15:05:50Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Guys: how long do you feel like you “should” last? Do you make it last longer than it would be natural to because you feel it is expected/wanted? (I’ve heard of guys thinking about baseball or math to keep from climax… if I found out my guy was doing that I’d be incredibly hurt.) This is why mental math is important that way I can just keep part of my brain focused else where typically it buys me an extra 5 minutes or so (I just count with the Fibonacci sequence). If I’m lucky I’ll get 20 min which is why I always make sure she gets at least one orgasm before we start intercourse. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/28 "2010-06-16T15:06:43Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Que? Quay? ---
**Author:** ![Khendrask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@Khendrask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khendrask)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/29 "2010-06-16T16:00:00Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Ladies? Do you want a guy who lasts forever? Me, I get tired. Then I get sore. How long do you like a guy to last once actual intercourse begins? There was a recent thread on just this question [right here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=562030&highlight=bored+intercourse). As far as how long I ‘should’ last? I really don’t have a clue. I’ve been celibate way too long to remember. ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/30 "2010-06-16T17:02:02Z")
> [@willthekittensurvive](#): > > for me(straight guy) reaching an orgasme has never been easy, when making love to new partner I dont expect to finish for at least the first week, but since I started taking anti depression medication…I cant even compleet manually, A week?! Geez, the rest of us are talking about minutes here! Way to make us feel bad! Heh. I knew what you meant, and sorry about the meds…perhaps something to discuss with a doc? ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/31 "2010-06-16T17:06:27Z")
Just like slurping your soup is a compliment to the chef in some places, being a three pump chump is a compliment to the sexual desireablilty of the object of chumpdom. If it takes him an hour, he’s just not that into you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/32 "2010-06-16T17:24:51Z")
\*Three \*pumps? In a row? What am I, a machine? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/33 "2010-06-16T17:42:37Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > \*Three \*pumps? In a row? What am I, a machine? Now I’m picturing three random pumps (ideally when she least expects it). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/34 "2010-06-16T18:15:48Z")
**Chefguy** just gave the best advice on sex ever written. Not. Kidding. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/35 "2010-06-16T18:42:06Z")
> [@Martiju](#): > > sorry about the meds…perhaps something to discuss with a doc? Oh it doesn’t bother me that much anymore, everyone is responsible for their own orgasm and all that…It is kinda bizarre to explain a girl that it isn’t her fault and all that but thats how I roll:cool: It really freaked me out in the beginning, but even then I thought it was kinda funny I prefer being stable to having orgasms, but I am changing to new medication as soon as I get a real therapist, ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/36 "2010-06-16T18:49:52Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > If it takes him an hour, he’s just not that into you. 😃 No it means he’s literally too much into you. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/37 "2010-06-16T18:53:42Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I realize that a guy who finishes moments after beginning is not ideal, but why is it that it seems like guys think the longer they can last, the better? I hear guys bragging about it and gather that this is a commonly held opinion. > … > Guys: how long do you feel like you “should” last? Do you make it last longer than it would be natural to because you feel it is expected/wanted? (I’ve heard of guys thinking about baseball or math to keep from climax… if I found out my guy was doing that I’d be incredibly hurt.) I tend to go for about a 30-60 minutes total, with 5-30 minutes of actual penetrative sex and the rest some kinda foreplay or other activities. Realistically, there’s a wide variety in preferences from women, and I don’t think I’ve ever had that much of a complaint either way (discounting complaints from people who complained about everything, but that was just the one lady). Most women worth dating are willing to compromise and learn with you how to get you both where you want to be. 😃 There’s a perception in the general male community about endurance brought on partially by porn, where a guy can seem to be going hard for a solid half-hour to hour when most guys thrusting that much aren’t going to last more than 2-3 minutes without taking a break, slowing down, or changing positions. In the real world, when I’ve had issues with anti-depressants or other factors causing unexpectedly ridiculous endurance, that leads to a lot of “what am I doing wrong? Am I not attractive?” after a certain point, which is demoralizing for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/38 "2010-06-16T19:12:25Z")
I’ve had boyfriends on both ends of the spectrum: one who’d often get off in less than a minute, and one who was frequently anorgasmic because of medication he was on. If those two extremes are my options, I’d actually prefer the former most of the time. Most women aren’t going to be bothered by a guy who reaches orgasm quickly… \*as long as you make sure they get off, too \*(either before, during, or after). ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/39 "2010-06-16T19:18:36Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > \*as long as you make sure they get off, too \*(either before, during, or after). I read that as “either before, dying, or after.” ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363/40 "2010-06-16T19:26:38Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I read that as “either before, dying, or after.” Post-mortem orgasm is not all it’s cracked up to be. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-stamina-how-much-is-too-much/543363.md?page=3)