# (Sexual TMI) So, I'm a PME--suggestions? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 26, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207 "2005-04-26T18:24:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/21 "2005-04-26T20:26:30Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > YMMV, of course. 😉 Apparently so. Don’t get me wrong, I love hours long sessions as much as the next girl, but _not_ extended penetrative thrusting. More than 15-20 minutes of that and I start compiling next week’s grocery list in my head, any longer and we’re edging toward raw and pissed-off girly bits. If the guy is very creative, or very small, it’s not such an issue, but I’d personally much prefer to spend the time in foreplay. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/22 "2005-04-26T21:00:45Z")
Listen kiddo… You’re 18. It happens. For me it happened until about oh well… let’s see… last September. I’m in my mid-20s. (and truth be told still happens the first two times with a new woman) Part of it for me was mental. You’re probably a little nervous. Psyching yourself out. Try to get a handle on that. And liek they said… use your hands, use your mouth. Also, your friends are liars. Boys lie about that stuff. Don’t trust them on matters of sex. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/23 "2005-04-26T21:11:17Z")
> [@Ink a dink a dink](#): > > …You cum in her mouth, she can cum in yours, even if it’s yours… [obligatory safe sex talk] No, probably cumming into mouths and vaginas isn’t a good idea this early in a relationship. Babies, STDs, and so on. Slap on the latex! Hey, I heard some guys last longer with a condom on! 😃 [/obligatory safe sex talk] ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/24 "2005-04-26T21:21:55Z")
> [@Little Bird](#): > > [obligatory safe sex talk] > No, probably cumming into mouths and vaginas isn’t a good idea this early in a relationship. Babies, STDs, and so on. Slap on the latex! Hey, I heard some guys last longer with a condom on! 😃 > [/obligatory safe sex talk] Or three, if _American Pie 2_ is to be believed (yes, I do know that layering is a Bad Idea(c)). And I was about to comment that yeah, I won’t be orgasming into her vagina any time in the foreseeable future. The STD thing, however, isn’t a worry. We’re both fresh out of complete innocence. ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/25 "2005-04-26T21:54:35Z")
> [@Speaker for the Dead](#): > > I really should get around to admitting this. I’m a minute-man. The Flash… …The Two-Pump Jump. The Two-Crank Wank. The Minute-Man. The Second Baseman. The Pre-Nookie Cookie. Droppin’ it Early in her Short & Curlies. The Pre-Cooter Shooter. The Faster Blaster-Master… I kid. I kid. -NPC (who is just jealous that he isn’t still 18 and getting some nookie 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Penchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Penchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penchan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/26 "2005-04-26T22:24:06Z")
Btw, that exercise where you ‘flex’ your groin muscles is called the Kegel exercise. Basically while you’re urinating, just start, stop, start, stop over and over. It burns at first, but it’s either because you REALLY need to pee or your groin muscles haven’t had this kind of exercise in a while (or ever). The longer you do it, the stronger your muscles will be and this may help with the PME. Oh, girls, if you do the Kegel exercises, it may prolong as well as increase the intensity of your orgasms. It definitely has for me. 🙂 It may work for guys, but I’m not sure. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/27 "2005-04-26T22:30:35Z")
> [@NoPretentiousCodename](#): > > …The Two-Pump Jump. The Two-Crank Wank. The Minute-Man. The Second Baseman. The Pre-Nookie Cookie. Droppin’ it Early in her Short & Curlies. The Pre-Cooter Shooter. The Faster Blaster-Master… > I kid. I kid. > > -NPC (who is just jealous that he isn’t still 18 and getting some nookie 😉 ) Haha, thank you for that lovely list. I would have added more to my own, but I ran out. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/28 "2005-04-26T22:32:49Z")
I know for men Kegels are a double edged sword… Sure stopping your urine stream may help you building muscles to control orgasm it may also f-up your urethra and cause problems down the road. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/29 "2005-04-26T22:39:24Z")
> [@Push You Down](#): > > I know for men Kegels are a double edged sword… Sure stopping your urine stream may help you building muscles to control orgasm it may also f-up your urethra and cause problems down the road. Cite? Not trying to snarky here…just that I am familiar with kegel exercises and I have never heard this before. ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/30 "2005-04-26T22:53:36Z")
> [@Push You Down](#): > > I know for men Kegels are a double edged sword… Sure stopping your urine stream may help you building muscles to control orgasm it may also f-up your urethra and cause problems down the road. Not if you just use that as the illustrative example of what to do. Learn while peeing, because, heck, you can see the results. Then remember the feeling for later while you’re sitting in school or through a boring movie. > [@Neurotik](#): > > 1. Pick your position. You’ll probably last longer with her on top or with missionary than you will doggy style. YMMV. Missionary will end it too quickly for me. Doggystyle, I can last a decent bit longer. Cowgirl’s a good way to prolong, though. And I know I once misunderstood the mechanics of porn sex, as well as the purpose and existence of a fluffer, but for quite a while I believed that the constant changing of positions was a way to force oneself into the start-stop activity, and not just for giving the camera options. Turns out that it does work pretty well (as long as constantly pulling out then going back in doesn’t mess up her lubrication), but only if you can put in a good 3-5 minutes for a single position to make the change worthwhile. Oh, and I agree with grandpa **JohnBckWLD**. Masturbation should be a journey, not a destination. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/31 "2005-04-26T22:56:41Z")
[You’re not alone](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=113056). Godspeed, man. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/32 "2005-04-26T22:59:15Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > Godspeed, man. Not exactly the best choice of words, given the problem, but I’m sure he appreciates the sentiment! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/33 "2005-04-26T23:06:15Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Not exactly the best choice of words, given the problem, but I’m sure he appreciates the sentiment! 😉 Why’s it so bad? Six days, rest on the seventh. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/34 "2005-04-27T06:11:55Z")
Jack off more. Each time you should find the time before orgasm increasing. Be warned. There with come a time after 6 or 7 orgasms when the intensity of orgasms increase such that it will hurt!! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/35 "2005-04-27T06:40:23Z")
I would kindly suggest that you do nothing. Embrace the full experience - don’t try to think about other things and do all sorts of fancy tricks - I want the man I am with to be present and lost, not calculating and thinking and analysing as he nears orgasm. There are some good suggestions here about enjoying the moment and knowing that time changes things for the better/longer, but I would suggest that you use the other techniques with a laugh and smile, as a piece of your sex life, not as the end goal or idea. ---
**Author:** ![Atheist\_Princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@Atheist\_Princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atheist_Princess)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/36 "2005-04-27T07:02:33Z")
> [@Speaker for the Dead](#): > > Or three, if _American Pie 2_ is to be believed (yes, I do know that layering is a Bad Idea(c)). > > And I was about to comment that yeah, I won’t be orgasming into her vagina any time in the foreseeable future. The STD thing, however, isn’t a worry. We’re both fresh out of complete innocence. Being your age, and having a bit of experience in the sex department, I figure I can chuck in my $0.02. I can tell you now that latex is a good way to hold off. Alcohol too. Though I wouldn’t sugest involving the latter into your first time…could get messy. Other than that, missionary makes it longer, anything else would probably turn you on WAY too much (think American Pie with Nadia). DEFINATELY pleasure her. Heaps. If you tell her that you just want to make her happy and dont let her touch you, by the time she’s ready to actually go for it, you’ll be at equal levels. If all else fails…I suggest a blow-up doll 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/37 "2005-04-27T07:05:11Z")
> [@Atheist Princess](#): > > Other than that, missionary makes it longer, anything else would probably turn you on WAY too much Missionary makes it _longer_? Anything else turns men on _more_? I can’t think of a position that makes me come quicker than missionary. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/38 "2005-04-27T07:15:47Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > Don’t get me wrong, I love hours long sessions as much as the next girl, but _not_ extended penetrative thrusting. More than 15-20 minutes of that and I start compiling next week’s grocery list in my head, any longer and we’re edging toward raw and pissed-off girly bits. Heck, more than three minutes penetrative thrusting and I’m starting to hurt. More than five, and I’m calling it all off - put me firmly in the category of the wife who falls for the ‘commercial break’ sex line! I’m awkward… penetrative sex generally tends to be painful for me, but at the same time, I want it full-on, hard-and-fast, enthusiastic and fun. Given that contrariness, it’s a given that quick sex is way more appealing than drawn out and - by definition - painful experiences. If I can get it over quick I can enjoy it before it gets too hurty. And really, who complains about a guy who orgasms quickly over oral? Beats the hell out of the alternative! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/39 "2005-04-27T13:39:57Z")
If you haven’t had sex before, you may be surprised. I thought I had PE, then when I started having sex the _opposite_ happened- it took forever to come, if even that. The problem was that the sensation of my hand could be made fairly intense during masturbation, but during intercourse the sensation of a vagina was a lot more…subtle. So I think I had conditioned myself to respond to sensations from my hand, which made things difficult. So I’m trying to reverse the trend by having sex as much as possible 😃 If you haven’t had sex yet, don’t worry. Worrying about problems that only hypothetically exist is a sure fire way to get performance anxiety. ---
**Author:** ![esquimalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@esquimalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/esquimalt)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/40 "2005-04-27T14:52:14Z")
Keep your breathing deep & learn to relax the abdominal area. Try meditating & concentrate on relaxing the areas of the pelvis & the stomach. It does take some practice. For me the first couple of thrusts were always the hardest part. Once I got that under control I could last longer. I have been doing alot of abdominal excercises lately & do not know if it is a coincidence or not that my staying power has been increased. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207.md?page=3)