# (Sexual TMI) So, I'm a PME--suggestions? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 26, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207 "2005-04-26T18:24:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/41 "2005-04-27T15:12:08Z")
> [@esquimalt](#): > > Keep your breathing deep & learn to relax the abdominal area. Try meditating & concentrate on relaxing the areas of the pelvis & the stomach. It does take some practice. For me the first couple of thrusts were always the hardest part. Once I got that under control I could last longer. I have been doing alot of abdominal excercises lately & do not know if it is a coincidence or not that my staying power has been increased. I like the meditation idea, from a different standpoint. I’ve been trying to get back into meditation just so I can concentrate longer. I have the worst attention span ever, unless of course I’m with someone ;). These suggestions are all great. Thank you very much, everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/42 "2005-06-04T00:48:22Z")
> [@Speaker for the Dead](#): > > I’ll have to master my… other skills. You have NO IDEA how far that’ll get you and how quickly you can get your girl to forget about the PME. I don’t think there’s anything a girl likes more than a man who knows how to use his fingers and tongue. And there’s nothing better on this world than seeing her fly to the moon on your fingers, i’ll tell you what. > [@Push You Down](#): > > Also, your friends are liars. Boys lie about that stuff. Don’t trust them on matters of sex. How true. Might as well have asked your friends if they had bigger dicks than you. > [@Little Bird](#): > > No, probably cumming into mouths and vaginas isn’t a good idea this early in a relationship. Babies, STDs, and so on. Slap on the latex! Hey, I heard some guys last longer with a condom on! (1) For me at least, ‘finishing’ from a BJ is hard enough without a condom. (2) Oral sex isn’t _as_ dangerous for transmission of STDs. (3) Testing and the pill work wonders. The sensation of condomless sex is worth it, although the extra staying power condoms lend can be helpful sometimes. > [@](#): > > The Pre-Cooter Shooter. The Faster Blaster-Master… The One-Pump Chump. > [@Incubus](#): > > If you haven’t had sex before, you may be surprised. I thought I had PE, then when I started having sex the opposite happened- it took forever to come, if even that. The problem was that the sensation of my hand could be made fairly intense during masturbation, but during intercourse the sensation of a vagina was a lot more…subtle. Savage Love recommends that young masturbators use varied and softer grips while flying solo, for this same reason: vaginas, mouths and (generally) girls’ hands don’t feel like Vulcan death grips, and if you learn to come only on that death grip then you won’t enjoy the real thing. > [@Incubus](#): > > Worrying about problems that only hypothetically exist is a sure fire way to get performance anxiety. There’s nothing worse than performance anxiety, believe you me! ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/43 "2005-06-04T00:49:29Z")
D’oh! Opened up a bunch of old threads and by the time I got to this one I didn’t know I was digging it out from under. Well, there’s some good advice anyway. Any news from the front, **Speaker**? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/44 "2005-06-04T01:28:09Z")
> [@Penchan](#): > > Btw, that exercise where you ‘flex’ your groin muscles is called the Kegel exercise. Basically while you’re urinating, just start, stop, start, stop over and over. It burns at first, but it’s either because you REALLY need to pee or your groin muscles haven’t had this kind of exercise in a while (or ever). The longer you do it, the stronger your muscles will be and this may help with the PME. > > Oh, girls, if you do the Kegel exercises, it may prolong as well as increase the intensity of your orgasms. It definitely has for me. 🙂 It may work for guys, but I’m not sure. \I just did one!\ ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/45 "2005-06-04T02:17:58Z")
Me? I’m gonna use my premature ejectionator and send this to **IMHO**. ---
**Author:** ![gaucho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@gaucho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaucho)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/46 "2005-06-04T21:08:20Z")
Has no one mentioned cock rings? Get a cock ring. Get a few. They’re cheap and they’re sold at every sex shop. They will keep you hard without ejaculating pretty much as long as you want. And you should learn to give good head anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/47 "2005-06-05T14:22:05Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > Impressive to _who_? Trust me, 30 minutes of thrusting is not fun from the female perspective. Long enough to let her get into it = good, long enough to rub the girl raw = very very bad. Hear, hear! 30 minutes of bad sex is A LOT of lousy sex. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/48 "2005-06-05T15:44:58Z")
The news from the front is that I’m practising with my hands and tongue. It’s going well, for both of us. Sex, as I may have mentioned, is a long way off, so I have plenty of time to prepare. Heh, I appreciate the “One-pump Chump.” It got a laugh out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/49 "2005-06-05T16:06:45Z")
Just relax, man. If you are worrying this much about it, that might make it worse. If you are both virgins, then you can figure it all out together. My advice is to do it a lot. Once you get some experience under your belt (har har) you will probably learn to reign in your orgasms so you can last longer. I haven’t been with many guys over the age of 20 who have a real problem with premature ejaculation. Oh, and “normal” is whatever works for you. Don’t think you have to live up to someone else’s idea of how long you should be doing it. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/50 "2005-06-06T00:21:38Z")
How long does it take for you to reload? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/51 "2005-06-06T03:28:11Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > \(3) Testing and the pill work wonders. The sensation of condomless sex is worth it, although the extra staying power condoms lend can be helpful sometimes. > \ You seem to be implying here that testing for STDs and being on birth control pills are acceptable substitutes for using condoms every time. **Speaker** , you probably know this already, but it is in your best interests to use a condom every time, with every girl, no matter who tests negative for what or who says they are on what contraceptives. Girls lie too - don’t trust any girl to take care of birth control for you. Unless you want to be a daddy at 19, or get herpes (see the thread on that if you want a good scare), genital warts, Hepatitis or AIDS, wrap your whopper every time. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/52 "2005-06-06T05:02:35Z")
I’m still wishing that that “male Pill” idea had panned out more quickly. Anyway, I travel in very safe circles, and sex isn’t going to be happening any time soon, so there aren’t any worries about pregnancy. STDs aren’t a worry either, because we’re both… new. ---
**Author:** ![dasgupta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e56c9b/32.png) [@dasgupta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasgupta)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/53 "2005-06-06T16:10:11Z")
Not that I think this is something you would need, but in the interests of discussion: The LA Times reports that the FDA may approve dapoxetine as an anti-PE drug this year. I happened to read it this morning in amNew York. [PDF link here.](http://www.nynewsday.com/other/special/amny/amny-frontcover,0,835131.acrobat?coll=nyc-amny-frontcover) Go to page 39. (Warning! That’s an 8 meg PDF - the entire paper) ---
**Author:** ![MaceMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@MaceMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaceMan)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/54 "2005-06-07T01:35:14Z")
In case no one has mentioned this, you can buy products like Durex Performax condoms, which contain a desensitizing lubricant on the inside to help you last longer. Also, SSRI antidepressants, like Zoloft, Prozac, etc., tend to supress the ability to ejaculate. When I took Celexa a few years ago, I was rendered almost completely unable to climax. It was embarrasing, because my libido and erections weren’t affected at all, just my ability to orgasm. I think that even a single dose before you have sex might have the effect of delaying ejaculation. Of course, not everyone is afffected in this way. ---
**Author:** ![flood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@flood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flood)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/55 "2005-06-16T08:05:10Z")
Trust me, you’re better off being a PME than having my ability (curse?). I’m able to have multiples (meaning, I’m able to orgasm more than once and maintain an erection each time). My gf reaches orgasm pretty quickly (within about a minute of penetration, even less with oral stimulation) and I’m forced to bring myself to orgasm because she can’t keep going after climaxing once. This puts me an the akward position of having made myself orgasm, yet still left with an erection and a desire for more sex even after she’s done. Now, does anyone have any suggestions for THAT\*? \*Sorry for the hijack ---
**Author:** ![flood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@flood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flood)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/56 "2005-06-16T08:15:12Z")
BTW, I agree with everyone else’s posts about masturbation, and bringing yourself to orgasm alot more easily than someone else might be able to. I also agree that you should wear a condom each time you have sex; it adds time to the overall experience (if that’s what you’re aiming for) and you’ll be safer from things you wouldn’t want (pregnancy, STD’s). I feel that you shouldn’t be worrying about PME, instead, focus on the entire experience and what you’re sharing with said person. I would avoid taking any pharmaceuticals though, because you don’t know how they’ll affect your body (quick anecdote: I took Viagra with my gf the other day, and the only difference it made was clogging up my sinuses and giving me a nasty, nasty headache) and I really don’t think you’ll even need them. Experience will allow you to gain control over your body. I’m only 19 and I just barely lost my virginity (two years ago), so my first few times are still pretty well engraved in my memory. If you read my above post, you’ll see that I have this problem now, but my first time lasted only about a minute (if even that). So trust me, you shouldn’t be worrying about how long you’re gonna last because you’ll eventually be able to take in the entire experience all together and get over the so-called “performance anxiety” that you’re feeling right now (if that makes any sense…sorry if I’m being incoherent). ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/57 "2005-06-16T10:24:23Z")
> [@flood](#): > > Trust me, you’re better off being a PME than having my ability (curse?). I’m able to have multiples (meaning, I’m able to orgasm more than once and maintain an erection each time). My gf reaches orgasm pretty quickly (within about a minute of penetration, even less with oral stimulation) and I’m forced to bring myself to orgasm because she can’t keep going after climaxing once. This puts me an the akward position of having made myself orgasm, yet still left with an erection and a desire for more sex even after she’s done. > > Now, does anyone have any suggestions for THAT\*? > > \*Sorry for the hijack My WAG is that she can’t keep going straight away after orgasm, but have you tried just touching and kissing for a few minutes then starting again? Even taking a coffee break perhaps. I hate to say it, but are you talking to her about this? It sounds like she’s being pretty selfish. ---
**Author:** ![flood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@flood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flood)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/58 "2005-06-16T13:54:11Z")
Talked to her about it, yes. She can’t keep going after she’s already come once because it hurts her to keep going. Used to be that we could go for hours on end, but lately that’s the way it’s been. Yeah, I agree it seems a bit selfish…but I think I was a bit more hesitant to post this info because I was afraid it would make me seem selfish. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/59 "2005-06-16T14:29:11Z")
> [@belladonna](#): > > Impressive to _who_? Trust me, 30 minutes of thrusting is not fun from the female perspective. Long enough to let her get into it = good, long enough to rub the girl raw = very very bad. Word. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207/60 "2005-06-16T14:48:10Z")
> [@flood](#): > > Talked to her about it, yes. She can’t keep going after she’s already come once because it hurts her to keep going. Used to be that we could go for hours on end, but lately that’s the way it’s been. Yeah, I agree it seems a bit selfish…but I think I was a bit more hesitant to post this info because I was afraid it would make me seem selfish. The suggestions from earlier in the thread might work for you. Couldn’t she get you off orally before you two have sex? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexual-tmi-so-im-a-pme-suggestions/301207.md?page=4)