# Sexuality: Choice or not, and does it matter? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 24, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190 "2010-01-24T03:04:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/61 "2010-01-25T01:38:53Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > Uh, this doesn’t make much sense. If it’s a mental process, it’s a choice. On the other hand, if it’s not a mental process, it’s innate. Not true; most of the mind is subconscious, and therefore beyond your control. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/62 "2010-01-25T02:04:00Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > Haven’t you heard of old teachers forcing lefties to use their right-hands at school? The stories that always detail how [unplesant](http://abnormaldiversity.blogspot.com/2007/05/left-handedness-and-school-trauma.html) and unhelpful such training was? Most people cannot pick their handedness, just as most cannot pick their sexuality. This was done to my father in the 1920s. It made him write right-handed, but it did not make him right-handed. My mother was right-handed so I’m bi - handed, that is. (I bat and golf left handed, and I can write left handedly better than most right-handed people I know.) It is a very good analogy to sexual orientation. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/63 "2010-01-25T02:17:11Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Not true; most of the mind is subconscious, and therefore beyond your control. And yet I know more than one or two people who can consciously slow unconscious activities like heart beat, respiration and blood pressure. Again, none of this is evidence that sexuality is genetic, rather than environmental or a choice. A lot of evidence _suggesting_ it’s not a conscious choice, but nothing proven. Much like if you were entirely ignorant of science, history and geography, and you looked around, you’d probably assume the Earth is flat. But it’s not, it only looks that way until you see it in the right light. I’m not suggesting it _is_ the same with sexuality, but I don’t see a reason why it wouldn’t be, considering we don’t have enough information to make a complete conclusion. What I’d like to see is an unbiased, objective study to one effect or the other. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/64 "2010-01-25T02:26:48Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > I didn’t dismiss them. I pointed out that personal recollection is notoriously unreliable. Compared to what? Do you know of some better way to find out about other people’s personal preferences? > [@](#): > > \*Different kinds of questions wouldn’t have necessarily gotten my point across. Or are you suggesting I stay away from this topic in general? \*Yes, I think you should stay away from the subject altogether if you are so bothered by the idea of giving weight to people’s own statements about their own personal preferences. If you are only happy with a particular type of evidence, stick to questions that can only be answered with such evidence. > [@](#): > > \*I think what you’re trying to say is that evidence should be there to change peoples minds… people don’t change their minds about things they hold as core beliefs, if anything, evidence to the contrary only reenforces those beliefs (see: Religion, prime example). \*This actually bears no resemblance to what I was trying to say. What I said was exactly what I wanted to say, which is that I do not believe there is a form of evidence that could prove that someone is wrong when they claim that their personal preference is not a choice. Everyone is the expert on their own preferences. If they say it isn’t a choice, there is no way to falsify this statement. You can’t dust for choices. > [@](#): > > \*That’s an obvious nonsequiter. If I knew what evidence I wanted, I’d have it. \*No, you wouldn’t. This is an obviously ridiculous claim, and I’m frankly embarrassed for you for having made it. Knowing what kind of evidence it would take to answer a question does not mean that this evidence magically appears in your possession. > [@](#): > > \*Uh, this doesn’t make much sense. If it’s a mental process, it’s a choice. On the other hand, if it’s not a mental process, it’s innate. \*This is both incorrect and has nothing to do with what I said. Many mental processes are beyond conscious control, and there are all kinds of things that are neither mental processes nor innate. But this is irrelevant, because I was describing choice (decision making) as a kind of mental process and pointing out that mental processes by their nature do not leave much in the way of concrete evidence. The _absence_ of a decision being made would leave even less evidence. You were saying that you wanted concrete evidence that sexual orientation isn’t a choice, remember? For all I know there may be some type of brain scan that shows the brain activity associated with the decision making process, but even if this is the case there would still be no way to determine exactly what the subject is thinking much less whether a particular existing personal preference was the result of a past choice. It’s becoming increasingly obvious to me that your problem is that you don’t have a coherent question and that you’re not really paying attention to what anyone else is saying. Maybe you should think a bit more about what it even means for something to be a “choice”, and what concrete evidence there could be for the origins of a particular personal preference. And if you’re going to participate in a debate forum, you really should try a bit harder to comprehend other people’s posts. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/65 "2010-01-25T02:37:27Z")
I don’t even see how this question can still be asked. Of course it is not choice. One of mankinds’ greatest drives is passing its genetics into the future. It is a basic drive. Then who would choose to be treated like a 3rd class citizen? To be hated by others because of how they are born. Who would choose to get beaten up for being gay? Who would choose to live a secret life ,in gay underground secret societies? Who picks a world living with aids ? You can remeber when you were growing up and kids you knew were different. You found out later they were gay and you thought, “i knew he was different”. I don’t remember when i chose to be a hetero. I must have if our sexuality is just a choice. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/66 "2010-01-25T04:17:12Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > Do you think that everybody, gay, straight and bi who says that they _did_ choose their sexuality is lying? Yes. They’re lying right through their teeth. The whole notion that a choice is even possible is too asinine to merit serious discussion. How can one choose who they are or are not attracted to? > [@](#): > > Perhaps you should look into the definition of Anecdotal. it’s not anecdotal, its universal. > [@](#): > > Incidentally, you still didn’t read the thread. In fact, the “hormone” theory (which, once again, is not _my_ theory) would be a conditioning thing, not a genetic one. “conditioning” is still not a choice. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/67 "2010-01-25T06:55:33Z")
I’m trying very hard to wrap my mind around the concept of \*\*\*choosing \*\*\*one’s sexual orientation. I cannot even begin to comprehend how that would work. Certainly one can channel one’s actions in a certain direction, but feelings don’t work that way. The closest we can come to that is repression, which is not what I think people mean by a choice. Considering the hell that so many GLBT teenagers (and older) go through, if it were a simple choice we’d all be straight. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/68 "2010-01-25T12:21:32Z")
It’s a reasonably interesting question, which I doubt will be settled 100% either way (if at all) but as far as I’m concerned it’s a purely personal matter. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/69 "2010-01-25T12:35:08Z")
(Foreword : I haven’t read all answers yet) I never really got the notion that homosexuality could be a choice. I’m not gay, but I certainly didn’t spend one evening, come puberty, deciding whether I’d pitch tents for girls, or guys, or both. And when I do find a girl attractive, it’s not a choice - she just is, to me. She probably isn’t to some other guy (or gal) out there. Whether my heterosexuality has its roots in genetics, or environment, or both, or neither doesn’t really matter - the fact remains, I’m not attracted to dudes. It’s not even a hypothesis at this point - I checked. No dice. And I couldn’t choose to be attracted to dudes even if I desperately wanted to. I could choose to \*bone \*dudes, I suppose, but that’s not the same thing, is it ? It’s the same distinction as reading _Notre Dame de Paris_ because Hugo is an amazing writer, and being forced to read that kerbstone in school and the asshole just won’t. shut. up. about that fucking church door. So, to me, the only “choice” in the matter, is whether or not to act on a given sexual attraction. But condemning someone to a life of zero sexual contact because they’re attracted to the “wrong” gender doesn’t seem right to me. I imagine I wouldn’t be very happy if the society I live in decreed my attraction to girls was some abhorrent sin to be corrected ASAP. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/70 "2010-01-25T12:58:30Z")
The human brain is a complicated, poorly-understood organ. Speculation on genetic and environmental factors affecting sexuality will remain speculation for a long, long time. That said, everything seems to point out that it is not a conscious choice, ergo, people don’t choose to be gay, straight or both for all **practical** intents and purposes. Does it matter? Yes because people who don’t have a choice deserve more slack than people who do. Sorry, bisexuals, choose your side, either with us or against us! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/71 "2010-01-25T13:27:24Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I’ve never been able to take the “homosexuality is a choice” position seriously, because it is in blatant denial of human nature. People don’t choose what we like, sexually or otherwise. I didn’t choose to like computer games, spaghetti, science fiction, or peanut butter cups; I didn’t choose to find girls sexy either. I see no reason to think that homosexuals are the only people who actually choose what they like, instead of just what they do. This is interesting, because I _have_ chosen to like and dislike things in the past - I don’t claim to be unique in this respect - the concept is called _acquired taste_. The first time I tasted Guinness, I thought it was horrible - it literally made me gag, but (for reasons that don’t really matter), I kept on trying it and eventually, I found myself liking it a lot. I used to find coffee undrinkable without cream and sugar, but because this allowed for considerable variation when other people made it for me, I decided to train myself to enjoy it black and unsweetened - now I only like it that way - if someone gives me white coffee, I can force it down, but I truly don’t enjoy it. The first time I smelt Stilton, I thought it was revolting - like a combination of vomit and rotting domestic refuse - couldn’t even bear to touch it, but I acquired the taste gradually by trying other cheeses of varying levels of challenge, working up to the really smelly ones (although more out of increasing curiosity than determination in this case). Now, the smellier, stronger cheeses tend to be my favourites, and I love Stilton. I used to smoke - and I used to enjoy it - I even used to enjoy the atmosphere of second-hand smoke in a crowded pub (back when it was legal to smoke in pubs here), but there came a time when I accepted that it was going to harm me in the long run - part of my method for giving up was to consciously decide to find cigarette smoke repulsive - and it worked - that is, it helped me to give up and I now really can’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke. I could describe other examples, but that’s probably enough… So… could I change my sexual preferences? I honestly reckon I could. There are things in my life (wife and kids) that mean the motivation to do so is probably not likely to arise, and I’m not claiming everyone is like me (indeed, I know with examples similar to the ones I mention above, some people really can’t seem to change their food likes and dislikes), but I don’t think I’m unique either. _I_ can change my tastes and desires, if I want or need to. Some things might require more motivation than others. And of course, it bears repeating that I don’t think people _should_ have to try to change their sexual orientation, unless they truly want to and feel they are able. Certainly nobody else should ever make that decision for them. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/72 "2010-01-25T13:43:01Z")
> [@Gozu](#): > > Does it matter? Yes because people who don’t have a choice deserve more slack than people who do. Sorry, bisexuals, choose your side, either with us or against us! Just checking–you are being facetious, right? Because if you aren’t, I have some choice words for you… ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/73 "2010-01-25T13:52:18Z")
mmm, I don’t know - I agree that it’s possible to make yourself like or dislike something, especially foods, and certainly one could grow to like gay _sex_, despite not naturally being inclined to chase boys (because hey, we still have penises and prostates!) But I’m not sure about _orientation_ - I mean, take cigarettes - have you really acquired a dislike for the taste you used to love, or has something in your body changed to make it physically disgusting now, or are you just fooling yourself that you don’t like it? Is there even a difference? I don’t know, I quit smoking last year and I still like the smell, so I can’t really identify there, but I believe you when you say you find it repulsive now. I don’t know, I went from mostly-gay to mostly-straight, but it didn’t feel like I chose to change, I just felt different over time. But still fundamentally bi. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/74 "2010-01-25T14:05:41Z")
IMHO: Sexuality and fetishes as we observed today is the result of the cumulative effect of the seed of the parents and spiritual influences on the person from the time in the womb to present day, the bio-indicators are just a reflection of the spiritual, not the other way around. Somewhere along the way for some a choice is made that will ‘set’ sexuality, others are pre-chosen via the seed of their parents. All of those influences are not God’s will for that person, but God’s permissiveness to the other spirits that have free will to influence others and the person’s free will to accept other gods, such as these spirits. If that person seeks God, God may correct it to what He always intended for that person, or use that tendency to reach a certain population with His Love. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/75 "2010-01-25T14:08:58Z")
> [@Gozu](#): > > Sorry, bisexuals, choose your side, either with us or against us! No. Life is already filled with more than enough false dichotomies. In a perfect world everybody would be bisexual. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/76 "2010-01-25T14:11:23Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/77 "2010-01-25T14:41:03Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > …take cigarettes - have you really acquired a dislike for the taste you used to love, or has something in your body changed to make it physically disgusting now, or are you just fooling yourself that you don’t like it? Is there even a difference? Good questions all. All I can say is that I know I did make a quite deliberate effort to find smoking repulsive - and in every way I can tell, it seems to have worked (it’s a bit difficult to describe the mental process, but I suppose it could be described as kind of the reverse of what happens if you force yourself not to be freaked out by spiders). I really can’t say for sure - without trying to change it (which I am not in a position to do) - whether my sexuality is anything like all those other things that I have changed, but it doesn’t _feel_ like an entirely separate category of phenomenon to me. I accept that reproductive operations are a really fundamental/primal part of our makeup, so maybe they are in a class of their own, but then again, eating is pretty fundamental too. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/78 "2010-01-25T18:00:33Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > This is interesting, because I _have_ chosen to like and dislike things in the past - I don’t claim to be unique in this respect - the concept is called _acquired taste_. An acquired taste isn’t something that a person consciously and freely chooses to like, it’s something they develop a preference for after repeated exposure. One would normally have a choice about whether one wanted to endure repeated exposure to something that was initially distasteful, but that’s not the same thing as just up and choosing to like something one previously disliked. > [@](#): > > \*The first time I tasted Guinness, I thought it was horrible - it literally made me gag, but (for reasons that don’t really matter), I kept on trying it and eventually, I found myself liking it a lot. \*Interesting choice of words. You say that after repeated attempts you found yourself liking Guinness, not that you decided to like it and that was that. This suggests that something beyond your conscious control had to change before you could enjoy the taste of Guinness. > [@](#): > > \*I used to find coffee undrinkable without cream and sugar, but because this allowed for considerable variation when other people made it for me, I decided to train myself to enjoy it black and unsweetened - now I only like it that way - if someone gives me white coffee, I can force it down, but I truly don’t enjoy it. \*If your taste preferences were completely under your conscious control and you were interested in being able to enjoy a wider variety of coffees, wouldn’t you have chosen to enjoy both black and white coffee equally? It should be obvious enough that people’s preferences sometimes change (as I mentioned before, I used to dislike tomatoes but now I like them just fine), and even that there are choices people can make that can affect some types of preferences. I could probably put myself off tomatoes again by subjecting myself to some type of aversion therapy. But I can’t turn my preferences on and off like a light switch, and there are some things I find so unpleasant that I don’t believe I could ever come to enjoy them. Repeated exposure would be a kind of torture. When it comes to sexual orientation, many homosexual people have tried very hard to stop being homosexual and start being heterosexual. The stakes in some cases have been quite high. All kinds of therapies have been used towards this goal, with pretty dismal results. There are “ex-gays” who claim that they really and truly have stopped being gay and are now totally straight and I am open to the possibility that some small number of people are capable of voluntarily changing their sexual orientation in this way\*, although I believe even these sexual converts would say it was very difficult and that they needed a lot of help and support along the way. But it’s clear enough that for the vast majority of homosexuals (even many supposedly successful “ex-gays”), attempting to make such a change is doomed to failure. If this were a choice that anyone could freely and consciously make, we’d see far fewer people with sexual orientations they’re unhappy with in the first place and far more people changing their current orientation than we do. I don’t mean just homosexuals either. I’m sure some heterosexuals would flip back and forth if they could just for fun, and if everyone in the world could choose to be bisexual it really would double our chances of a date on Saturday night. \*I think it’s more likely that these people were either confused about their sexual orientation (e.g. they were actually bisexual to begin with) or are fooling themselves, but I don’t have any real way of knowing. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/79 "2010-01-25T18:56:22Z")
The attitude/approach that “We should all rally around the assertion that it is innate, and not a choice, as the political correct viewpoint” is rooted in the conservative and problematic underlying attitude that being homosexual is unfortunate and undesirable. What it amounts to: “Being homosexual is unfortunate and undesireable BUT hey if it is something over which the poor pathetic fags have NO CHOICE about, we shouldn’t ought to condemn them for it” (Whereas if they’re being that disgusting way ON PURPOSE, then at best they deserve whatever bad things happen to them, and quite possibly we ought to go punish them ourselves, whaddaya think?) It’s a damn retrograde and NOT very progressive approach to wave on high like some kind of fucking “Super Enlightened People Gather Here” banner, when most gay folks I know consider the minimally acceptable level of social tolerance to be along the lines of “Being homosexual is NOT unfortunate OR undesirable, at least not in any intrinsic manner, it just may not be MY cup of tea”. I do get annoyed at what appears _to me_ to be kneejerk reactions to someone raising the question… although I suppose appending “and does it matter?” does sort of lend itself to a rather retrograde interpretation itself. (“matter” who whom, exactly?) ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190/80 "2010-01-25T20:12:44Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I do get annoyed at what appears _to me_ to be kneejerk reactions to someone raising the question… although I suppose appending “and does it matter?” does sort of lend itself to a rather retrograde interpretation itself. (“matter” who whom, exactly?) This is part of what I was getting at. A lot of people “accept” homosexuality because ‘it is what it is,’ but what if it’s not? There certainly isn’t concrete proof one way or the other. The question of whether or not that matters is asked, not in general, but to people as individuals. “Does it matter,” was not a general question, but one specifically aimed at anyone who replies. Is it only acceptable if it’s innate, and not a choice? Many people, in this thread and out in the world, seem to imply, whether intention or not, that if one **can** choose, that they should be choosing heterosexuality. It’s “better,” for whatever reason they’ve decided. Reading through the thread should make this apparent. Personally, I don’t see one as superior to the other, in any way, and never have. Maybe that’s why I don’t innately reject the idea that it might be a choice… there’s no benefit to pressuring them to change their mind, to my minds eye. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexuality-choice-or-not-and-does-it-matter/526190.md?page=5)