# Sexually suggestive sports quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 4, 2013, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818 "2013-04-04T12:56:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/1 "2013-04-04T12:56:54Z")
Quotes from and about sports are rife with sexual connotation if taken out of context. Let’s list some! Past, present, famous, obscure, whatever. Inspired by this gem by Nationals pitcher Gio Gonzalez following yesterday’s win over Miami: > [@Gio Gonzalez](#): > > “I felt like I was making love to my hand. Just one of those things where I was constantly trying to find some grip, somehow, some way. The rosin bag, whatever, licking the fingers. But it felt good after that.” ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/2 "2013-04-04T14:36:18Z")
Here’s a 5 minute comedy skit (audio): [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Hc0XrU0S-_8/hqdefault.jpg "baseball.flv") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc0XrU0S-_8) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/3 "2013-04-04T15:15:19Z")
Authorities differ as to whether Brian Johnston ever actually [said](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Johnston#Commentary_Humour) “the bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”, but it certainly could have happened and, you feel, should have happened. ---
**Author:** ![Cumbrian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@Cumbrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumbrian)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/4 "2013-04-04T15:40:17Z")
The all time classic Brian Johnston moment is this one responding to Jonathan Agnew’s suggestive comment on an Ian Botham dismissal. This went out live on BBC Radio 4 commentary. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ) ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/5 "2013-04-04T15:52:46Z")
> [@Cumbrian](#): > > The all time classic Brian Johnston moment is this one responding to Jonathan Agnew’s suggestive comment on an Ian Botham dismissal. This went out live on BBC Radio 4 commentary. > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsVTpX7LdZQ) Not available in my country. Hmph. That’s okay, I’ll take FREEDOM! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/6 "2013-04-04T16:04:39Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > Here’s a 5 minute comedy skit (audio): > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc0XrU0S-\_8](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc0XrU0S-_8) Welcome! to this universe space traveler! In your universe what with the different physical laws that clip may be 5 minutes but in our universe it is only 1:42. ---
**Author:** ![Cumbrian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@Cumbrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumbrian)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/7 "2013-04-04T16:09:57Z")
> [@Yorikke](#): > > Not available in my country. Hmph. That’s okay, I’ll take FREEDOM! How frustrating. Try this one - unfortunately it’s got some audience laugh track over it. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=967DpAEKcmQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=967DpAEKcmQ) ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/8 "2013-04-04T17:27:20Z")
Another very well-known one is David Coleman’s classic “The big Cuban opened his legs and showed his class”. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/9 "2013-04-04T17:35:16Z")
OK, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here. Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth. There’s the wind-up, and there it is, a line shot up the middle, look at him go. This boy can really fly. He’s rounding first and really turning it on now, he’s not letting up at all, he’s gonna try for second. The ball is bobbled out in the center. And here’s the throw and what a throw. He’s gonna slide in head first. Here he comes, he’s out. No, wait, safe, safe at second base. This kid really makes things happen out there. Batter steps up to the plate. Here’s the pitch, he’s going and what a jump he’s got. He’s trying for third. Here’s the throw. It’s in the dirt, safe at third. Holy cow, stolen base. He’s taking a pretty big lead out there. Almost daring them to pick him off. The pitcher glances over, winds-up and it’s bunted, bunted down the third base line. The suicide squeeze is on. Here he comes, squeeze play, it’s gonna be close. Here’s the throw, here’s the play at the plate. Holy cow, I think he’s gonna make it - ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/10 "2013-04-05T01:07:08Z")
> [@little nemo](#): > > . . . Holy cow, i think he’s gonna make it - stop right now! ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/11 "2013-04-05T02:55:23Z")
I believe the actual quote is “Stop right there!” ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/12 "2013-04-05T03:12:29Z")
Dizzy Dean infamous play-by-play of two lovebirds that are making out in the bleachers. “I think I got this figured out, He kisses her on the strikes and she kisses him on the balls” ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/13 "2013-04-05T03:13:50Z")
> [@Hoopy\_Frood](#): > > I believe the actual quote is “Stop right there!” Before we go any further… ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/14 "2013-04-05T14:37:38Z")
Redskins Squeeze Out Browns! Oh wait – that’s not sexual. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/15 "2013-04-05T14:46:41Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Redskins Squeeze Out Browns! > > Oh wait – that’s not sexual. Still funny. And hey, some people might be into that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexually-suggestive-sports-quotes/654818/16 "2013-04-05T16:13:33Z")
You are supposed to say [No Homo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxN1zkQgKKA) Spike!