# SeXXXy Christians **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 2, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155 "2000-04-02T18:10:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/1 "2000-04-02T18:10:00Z")
Got your attention, eh? Where did Christianity get it’s view that masturbation is wrong? Also, I have read that masturbation or sex tends to increase the amount of acne someone has. Any support for this? –Tim * * * You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot. ---
**Author:** ![Nanno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nanno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanno)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/2 "2000-04-02T18:35:00Z")
Homer !! we need to get a life!! * * * whatever for? ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/3 "2000-04-02T18:59:00Z")
Answer to part one: > [@](#): > > _Composers: David Howman & Andre Jacquemin > Authors: Michael Palin & Terry Jones > From the Movie ‘The Meaning of Life’_ > > DAD: > There are Jews in the world. > There are Buddhists. > There are Hindus and Mormons, and then > There are those that follow Mohammed, but > I’ve never been one of them. > I’m a Roman Catholic, > And have been since before I was born, > And the one thing they say about Catholics is: > They’ll take you as soon as you’re warm. > You don’t have to be a six-footer. > You don’t have to have a great brain. > You don’t have to have any clothes on. You’re > A Catholic the moment Dad came, > Because > Every sperm is sacred. > Every sperm is great. > If a sperm is wasted, > God gets quite irate. > CHILDREN: > Every sperm is sacred. > Every sperm is great. > If a sperm is wasted, > God gets quite irate. > GIRL: > Let the heathen spill theirs > On the dusty ground. > God shall make them pay for > Each sperm that can’t be found. > CHILDREN: > Every sperm is wanted. > Every sperm is good. > Every sperm is needed > In your neighbourhood. > MUM: > Hindu, Taoist, Mormon, > Spill theirs just anywhere, > But God loves those who treat their > Semen with more care. > MEN: > Every sperm is sacred. > Every sperm is great. > WOMEN: > If a sperm is wasted,… > CHILDREN: > …God get quite irate. > PRIEST: > Every sperm is sacred. > BRIDE and GROOM: > Every sperm is good. > NANNIES: > Every sperm is needed… > CARDINALS: > …In your neighbourhood! > CHILDREN: > Every sperm is useful. > Every sperm is fine. > FUNERAL CORTEGE: > God needs everybody’s. > MOURNER #1: > Mine! > MOURNER #2: > And mine! > CORPSE: > And mine! > NUN: > Let the Pagan spill theirs > O’er mountain, hill, and plain. > HOLY STATUES: > God shall strike them down for > Each sperm that’s spilt in vain. > EVERYONE: > Every sperm is sacred. > Every sperm is good. > Every sperm is needed > In your neighbourhood. > Every sperm is sacred. > Every sperm is great. > If a sperm is wasted, > God gets quite iraaaaaate! Answer to part two: Well, I’ve always had great skin…never really suffered from acne at all. Um. Not that I’ve ever “shaken hands with the unemployed”. In any way. ## Obviously. [Crusoe Takes A Trip](http://www.fervent.co.uk/) ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/4 "2000-04-02T19:02:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Not that I’ve ever “shaken hands with the unemployed”. ROTFLMAO! That’s the greatest euphemism I’ve ever heard! ## –Tim You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot. ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/5 "2000-04-02T20:16:00Z")
Homer, first, you might want to be careful with such sweeping generalities. I’m a Christian, and I don’t believe masturbation is necessarily \* wrong \*, and can be helpful for issues of self control. Things usually become \* wrong \* when it becomes some kind of priority in your life. That applies to masturbation, exercise, eating, and work. All of those things are okay things, it is getting them out of proportion. Many religious folk hone in on the verse in the Bible where the tradition in Jewish homes once was, if an older brother dies without an heir, the next oldest takes his place with the widow to sire a child \*\* for his dead brother \*\*. In this story none of the brothers would do so, and it came to the last brother who masturbated on the ground. He was killed NOT because of the masturbation, but because of the disobedience and defiance. ## The story is a good one, it is in Genesis, chapter 38. Judy * * * “Um, according to who? Nothing more than a high brow troll, though occasionally the bi polar personality swung in a constructive direction on innocuous topics.” Omniscient ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/6 "2000-04-02T20:24:00Z")
Part of the basis for masturbation being sinful is that lust is considered sinful. Since lusting for someone, or fantasizing about someone, is a typical part of masturbation (who masturbates and thinks about wood paneling? If you do, I don’t want to know) masturbation itself became a physical aspect of lust or sexual impurity. Exactly when this bacame “law” in the Church is something I don’t know, and likewise not all Protestant faiths teach it, although the Cathholic Church still does. As for acne, I don’t have any data but I’m guessing that it falls into the same catagory that blindness, insanity, hairy palms, weakness, anemia, and all the other masturbation blamed illnesses fall into: a large crock. I dunno, maybe if you get all sweaty doing it and refuse to wash your face… * * * “I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/7 "2000-04-02T20:26:00Z")
Oh, and Nanno, I don’t see where Homer needs to get a life. Granted the title of the topic was a bit odd, but the question was legit. Masturbation is considered a sin by the Church, yet the Bible never mentions it by name and only once by description of the act. Asking how one led to the other is hardly grounds to “get a life”. * * * “I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/8 "2000-04-02T21:23:00Z")
Been a while since I darkened a church door, but didn’t Onan get in trouble in the Old Testament for “spilling his seed on the ground”? And isn’t masturbation therefore also known as “onanism”? Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/9 "2000-04-02T21:26:00Z")
I should have read **Anti Pro** ’s post more carefully. The story of Onan is the one to which reference is made there, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/10 "2000-04-02T21:34:00Z")
Where in the bible does it say that lusting is wrong? There is at least one Psalm that is pretty erotic. I think the bible says lusting after someone other than your wife is wrong. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/11 "2000-04-02T21:36:00Z")
The Catholic Church’s prohibition against masturbation stems mainly from its belief that sex is only supposed to be used for procreation. Some statements by JPII even hinted at the belief that spouses should only have sex with each other in order to have children, but shouldn’t just do it for “fun.” That view is not widely held. A side effect of the Catholic Church’s masturbation stand is its opposition to in vitro fertilization in part because masturbation is a necessary part of the process. Positions like this on sexual relations, needless to say, have often made people look at the Catholic Church with the thought of “Yeah, right.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/12 "2000-04-02T21:40:00Z")
**Homer,** I didn’t see anything in Cecil’s columns specifically on whether masturbation will make you go blind, but here is an answer to the second part of your OP. [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3\_217.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_217.html) ---
**Author:** ![ubermensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bcef8e/32.png) [@ubermensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ubermensch)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/13 "2000-04-02T21:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Anti Pro: > \*\*Many religious folk hone in on the verse in the Bible where the tradition in Jewish homes once was, if an older brother dies without an heir, the next oldest takes his place with the widow to sire a child \*\* for his dead brother \*\*. In this story none of the brothers would do so, and it came to the last brother who masturbated on the ground. He was killed NOT because of the masturbation, but because of the disobedience and defiance. > > The story is a good one, it is in Genesis, chapter 38. > \*\* well, since i’m not a christian, i don’t have my bible with me, but if i remember correctly, it was Onan, and he was having sex with his dead brother’s wife, but at the last moment, he pulled out and spilled his seed upon the ground. but, you’re right, it had nothing to do with masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/14 "2000-04-03T00:54:00Z")
## BobT said; “The Catholic Church’s prohibition against masturbation stems mainly from its belief that sex is only supposed to be used for procreation.” This can’t be true, can it? The catholic church teaches the “rhythm method” as the only acceptable means of birth control. Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/15 "2000-04-03T02:31:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Where in the bible does it say that lusting is wrong? There is at least one Psalm that is pretty erotic. _The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity…_ - Galatians 5:19 _But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart_ - Matthew 5:28 _Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality,impurity, lust, evil desires and greed…_ - Colossians 3:5 _…that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen…_ - I Thessalonians 4:3b-5 There’s others, but I think that’s enough to prove my point. The way I was always taught (agree with me or not, it doesn’t matter - this is what the Church was teaching and that’s who we’re talking about) is that when the Bible mentions immorality, it’s talking about physical sexual encounters with someone; when it mentions impurity, it’s refering to the state of mind (i.e. lust). * * * “I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/16 "2000-04-03T02:40:00Z")
Yet another reason to be an atheist! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nu\_Vo\_Da\_Da](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/97f17d/32.png) [@Nu\_Vo\_Da\_Da](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nu_Vo_Da_Da)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/17 "2000-04-03T05:08:00Z")
Ever read the Song of Solomon, Jophiel? ## Now, the church can interprete those verses any way it pleases, but that doesn’t mean that those verses are the reason that the church holds that doctrine. The whole “sex is nasty” thing originated relatively late in the christian church-priests were often married and had children. Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate mother-fucker. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/18 "2000-04-03T05:28:00Z")
Oh! And I thought this thread was going to be about the terrible terrible band Sexxxy Christ… ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/19 "2000-04-03T14:55:00Z")
Homer, why don’t you call a church & ask? Ah, skip that, way back then, there were very few people. They made rules so that they would create more people, thus propagate the humans. Masturbating wasted sperm so that means fewer people. People were supposd to get married to make more people too, see? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155/20 "2000-04-03T15:14:00Z")
Actually, the Medieval Catholic church had lots of rules about what wasn’t allowed sexually – sex was for procreation only, and could only be performed on certain days of the week (I seem to recall Tuesdayd and Thursdays were OK; the rest were a sin). And anything other than the missionary position was a shortcut to Hell. Oddly enough, many churches had very explicit sculptures showing _exactly_ what you shouldn’t be doing. Though they used the Bible to justify things, the specific sins were determined by the church before they went to look for a justification in the Bible. I suppose the kindest spin was that the church leaders honestly believed in the sinfulness of sexuality. A more cynical view would be that it was done as a way to assert the church’s control. * * * “What we have here is failure to communicate.” – Strother Martin, anticipating the Internet. [www.sff.net/people/rothman](http://www.sff.net/people/rothman) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexxxy-christians/10155.md?page=2)