# Sexy Text Messages **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556 "2008-12-17T14:29:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/1 "2008-12-17T14:29:45Z")
My girlfriend was complaining that her workaholic husband is, well, never around. And the nookie ain’t forthcoming. So I thought I’d ask you Doper men what text message, if any, might distract you from the task at hand and entice you home. (note that they do have 3 kids, including 2-yr-old twins, so avoiding the melee is probably a factor here - still, I know her husband and he’s a nice guy, I wish them well) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/2 "2008-12-17T14:33:52Z")
bj? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/3 "2008-12-17T14:40:42Z")
“I’m not wearing any underwear… film at 11” ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/4 "2008-12-17T14:42:06Z")
The kids are at Mom’s. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/5 "2008-12-17T14:45:17Z")
These are good, thank you. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/6 "2008-12-17T14:47:39Z")
“Wake up : work sucks ! So do I, incidentally” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/7 "2008-12-17T14:49:53Z")
Surreptitiously change his ringtone to “Afternoon Delight” and give him a call. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/8 "2008-12-17T14:51:34Z")
Come home and fuck me like a stranger. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/9 "2008-12-17T15:03:37Z")
I have received the following: **I want your hands and mouth on my body.** That worked. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/10 "2008-12-17T15:18:02Z")
This ladies Viagra REALLY works. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/11 "2008-12-17T15:20:01Z")
A picture of my panties is usually what gets my husband’s attention. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/12 "2008-12-17T15:34:50Z")
The mailman is here longer than you are.:eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19adc/32.png) [@I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Am_The_Lorax)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/13 "2008-12-17T17:47:30Z")
I want U 2 cum–now ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/14 "2008-12-17T18:04:22Z")
**See if you can get off early…** ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/15 "2008-12-17T18:21:59Z")
I’m naked. You’re at work. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/16 "2008-12-17T18:53:53Z")
“You can come over and fuck me now if you promise not to tell [husband’s name].” ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/17 "2008-12-17T18:55:28Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > “You can come over and fuck me now if you promise not to tell [husband’s name].” Hahahah! I’ve used that one before, kind of – “I’m really horny, let’s fuck. Just don’t tell my husband!” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/18 "2008-12-17T19:28:53Z")
“I’m dressed up like a schoolgirl. Bring a ruler home from work.” ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/19 "2008-12-17T19:38:48Z")
I’m just baffled by this whole “too busy for sex” concept. I mean…bwa? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/20 "2008-12-17T19:52:42Z")
I’m fucking your brother. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556.md?page=2)