# Sexy Text Messages **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556 "2008-12-17T14:29:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/21 "2008-12-17T21:21:24Z")
“I’m ready.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/22 "2008-12-17T21:49:40Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Come home and fuck me like a stranger. …and they say romance is dead. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![meanyred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@meanyred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meanyred)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/23 "2008-12-18T03:07:54Z")
X35 (l33U h77V3J + hUJOH W,l 3W d73H 35V37d look at it upside down ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/24 "2008-12-18T03:31:48Z")
My wife’s English is usually very good, but occasionally the way the expresses herself takes a turn for the strange. Back when we were trying to have a kid, I received the following message from her: LETS MAKE LOVE TONIGHT. I HAVE EGGS. So I sent back the reply: OK. I HAVE SAUSAGE. ---
**Author:** ![TheVioletCreep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eb8c5e/32.png) [@TheVioletCreep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheVioletCreep)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/25 "2008-12-18T05:58:00Z")
Let us engage in an intercourse session. I believe we can reach maximum potential and perhaps procreate as a result. o.o; ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/26 "2008-12-18T11:56:08Z")
I wish you to insert your penis in my vagina. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/27 "2008-12-18T12:30:55Z")
You :-Þ - Me \< 8 (-: = Us :-Þ \< 8 O-: When?! ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/28 "2008-12-18T14:49:41Z")
Thanks for your suggestions, I’ll share them with her. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/29 "2008-12-18T14:53:06Z")
I got one the other day that said “I can not wait to resume carnal relations with you” to which I replied “Do I know you?” But he got his carnal relations 😉 ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/30 "2008-12-18T14:54:24Z")
and for the record, I would hazard to say that: **Masturbating without you** might get their attention. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/31 "2008-12-18T17:01:50Z")
Similar to **melodyharmonius**. **Starting without you.** Also used… **Wanna?** Or, **Just had lunch, Wanna be dessert?** ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/32 "2008-12-18T19:15:53Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > You :-Þ > > - > > Me \< 8 (-: > > = > > Us :-Þ \< 8 O-: > > When?! I’m all “huh?”, and then I “ah!”. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556/33 "2008-12-18T19:26:59Z")
“Sarah Silverman called. Matt is on his way here.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexy-text-messages/477556.md?page=1)