# SexyMeter!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 21, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294 "2001-07-21T04:45:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/21 "2001-07-24T01:02:43Z")
Muscles +20 Overweight -30 Dark hair +15 No hair -25 Not picky about most things +50 Long hair -20 Dark eyes +15 Facial hair -15 Sense of humor +40 Piercings -20 Likes cats +10 Weird clothing -25 Smart +50 Jewelry -10 Pays his own way +50 ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/22 "2001-07-24T04:08:35Z")
your basic moral fiber +5 pleasant speaking voice +5 really good at something (anything, from quilting to using a scanning tunneling microscope) +5 nipples “above the equator” +5 adaptible/comfortable in a variety of situations +5 tries new things (not necessarily sex) +5 healthy but not obsessive +5 sometimes laughs genuinely at my jokes +5 considerate of others (humans, not pets) +5 cultured but not snobby +5 nice smile +5 monogamous +5 no major psychological problems +5 smells nice +5 really likes music (nobody doesn’t, but I mean _really_) +5 fewer than 50 sexual partners lifetime +5 independent/is comfortable when alone +5 doesn’t watch/read garbage +5 likes pie after seeing a movie +5 catches that last reference and can discuss male fantasies without getting all confrontational +5 lives in 450-514 area code +5 doesn’t use “mysogynistic” every day +5 doesn’t use “mysogynistic” incorrectly +5 respects/likes her parents/family +5 unconventional +5 likes doing the nasty +100 Now the minuses: can’t fly to Milan on a whim because “who’ll take care of Pixie!” her rescued pet squirrel -5 can accept if I dislike her friends -5 not between 18 and 55 -5 really hairy -100 ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/23 "2001-07-24T04:11:54Z")
Ah ah ahhhh…gotta be natural. None of this “stick on blonde” stuff…😛 But, you’re in luck, because while blondes score +10, brunettes (and i’m hoping you are) score +5… ---
**Author:** ![Chum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3ab097/32.png) [@Chum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chum)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/24 "2001-07-24T16:12:08Z")
He’s so funny that I laugh 70% of the time I’m with him: +50 He’s excellent at an instrument: +10 That instrument is the drums: +5 That instrument is the guitar: +10 He loves to watch _good_ movies: +30 He likes “More Than Words” by Extreme: +5 He is not afraid to make eye contact: +10 He’s somewhere between skinny and built: +10 He smells amazing: +20 He’s not afraid to bust a move: +5 He has very nice teeth: +5 He is so handsome that my stomach knots up every time I see him: +30 He is waiting until marriage: -20 He is deeply religious: -20 He’s a cowboy: -50 He’s in love with Christina Aguilara: -30 He has facial hair: -10 He fails his classes: -20 He’s a heavy drinker/smoker/stoner: -20 He smells bad: -100 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/25 "2001-07-24T16:41:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chum \* > \*\*He’s so funny that I laugh 70% of the time I’m with him: +50 > He’s excellent at an instrument: +10 > That instrument is the drums: +5 > That instrument is the guitar: +10 > He loves to watch _good_ movies: +30 > He likes “More Than Words” by Extreme: +5 > He is not afraid to make eye contact: +10 > He’s somewhere between skinny and built: +10 > He smells amazing: +20 > He’s not afraid to bust a move: +5 > He has very nice teeth: +5 > He is so handsome that my stomach knots up every time I see him: +30 > > He is waiting until marriage: -20 > He is deeply religious: -20 > He’s a cowboy: -50 > He’s in love with Christina Aguilara: -30 > He has facial hair: -10 > He fails his classes: -20 > He’s a heavy drinker/smoker/stoner: -20 > He smells bad: -100 > > \*\* Laughing…+10 (I’m a comedian) Likes “More Than Words”…+5 (Seen 'em in concert, and own all their CDs) Eye Contact…+10 (I have Paul newman/John Travolta blue eyes) Somewhere between skinny and built…+10 (Somewhere in there) Amazing smell…+20 (Or so I’ve been told) Move busting…+5 (Glad you didn’t say he has to be good at it) Handsome…+30 (No comment) So far, **Superdude** : 90. Now the minuses: Has facial hair…-10 (I have a goatee) I score an 80! Now my turn. Likes to laugh…+15 Smart…+20 Can at least hold her own in a sports conversation…+20 Likes the Cubs…+1000 Not afraid to make a fool out of herself in public…+150 Will MST3K a movie…+50 Has at least shoulder-length hair…+35 Has short hair, but makes it work…+10 Does not refer to genitalia by medical name unless at the doctor…+500 Natural blonde, brunette, redhead, or has black hair…+75 Younger than me…+100 Can drive a stick…+75 Is **Medea’s Child** …+1000000 Vegetarian…-500 Overly religious…-100 Has kids…-50 Not in shape…-150 ---
**Author:** ![SolarPhallusMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@SolarPhallusMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolarPhallusMan)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/26 "2001-07-24T17:06:40Z")
Hmmm… Funny +5 Smart +5 Very smart +5 Good english skills +5 Likes cheesy puns +5 Likes my cheesy puns +5 Digs smart brunettes +5 With cool glasses and big brown eyes +5 Who are goofy and opinionated and loud at times +5 Likes movies +5 Willing to watch lots of movies +5 Respects family +5 Dresses comfortably +5 Likes women who look/are respectable +5 Treats woman as such +5 Opens doors +5 Lets me open the door +5 Appreciates thoughtfulness +5 Is thoughtful +5 Really likes music +5 Laughs at fart jokes +5 Laughs when I fart+5 Sexually open +5 Interesting appearance +5 Good table manners and etiquette +5 Is angry -5 Is mean -5 Is petty -5 Is stupid -5 Dresses like he’s going to a club -5 Goes to clubs -5 Chemically altered hair -5 Likes those kidbizkorn bands -5 Needy -5 Superficial -5 Brawls -10 Tries to force me to partake in things I do not enjoy -5 Doesn’t respect separate interests -5 Skinny -3 Frighteningly muscular -3 Values appearance over brains -55555 (i see the irony of having this after the two physical traits) Freaks out when I make a spelling error -6 ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/27 "2001-07-24T18:03:11Z")
Can put up with me +1,000,000,000 🙂 Brown hair +15 Blond hair +5 - I’ve never had good luck with blondes. Nice smile +10 Nice teeth +15 Slightly hairy chest +10 Goatee +50 Full Beard +25 No facial hair +15 Somewhat muscular build +100 Great sense of humor +50 Likes to jog +25 Likes to take walks +25 Likes to play basketball and softball with me +100 Is a hard worker +1000 Helps me around the house if I really need it +300 Likes kids +5000 Has respect for all women +100 Likes to go to the movies +50 Has 2-3 tattoos -35 Crooked/black teeth -100 _Really_ hairy chest -25 Hairy back -5000 skinny/scrawny &/or overweight -1000 Angry -500 Violent Temper -500 Little or no patience -500 Pierced ears -100 Bad hygiene -1000 ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/28 "2001-07-24T19:22:00Z")
every inch \< 5’10": +5 pretty eye color other than blue: +5 blue eyes: +10 smarter than me: +20 nice to everyone: +5 masculine hobbies: +10 lives with mother: -50 weighs over 200: +20 educated: +10 over-educated: -5 crunchy granola, tree-hugger outdoorsy: -20 vegetarian: -5 makes killer bbq: +10 wants me to be his cheap slut sex poodle: +10 wants me to be one of his cheap slut sex poodles: -100 reads: +20 happy in his employment: +5 confident: +20 ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2001, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/29 "2001-07-24T22:05:44Z")
muscular +10 long hair +10 open minded +10 good cook +10 eats well +10 gym rat +10 smokes -10 spend more on clothes than food -10 pay attention to fashion -10 pay attention to comfort +10 mentally tough +10 loves animals +10 doesnt’ care aboout money +50 \*note: doesn’t mean you can’t have a lot of it, just means you can’t care. does care about happiness over all else +50 allows me a round of golf once in a while +5 allows me to have the TV around Olympic times +5 puts up with my worrying +100 you are married to me…well…you automatically receive top marks. ---
**Author:** ![Chum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3ab097/32.png) [@Chum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chum)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/30 "2001-07-25T05:25:48Z")
**Superdude** , I scored a 685 on yours - not very good. I can’t drive a stick, and I don’t like sports. I must say, it’s awesome that you like Extreme! ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/31 "2001-07-25T10:48:33Z")
It’s official, I’m 432 pts of Sexy. (But if you follow the **Creaky/Rachelle** scale, you’ll have to knock off about 145 pts). Wow. I’m stunned. Moi? Sexy? Cool. So ladies, how _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/32 "2001-07-25T19:15:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cyn \* > \*\*every inch \< 5’10": +5 > pretty eye color other than blue: +5 > blue eyes: +10 > smarter than me: +20 > nice to everyone: +5 > masculine hobbies: +10 > lives with mother: -50 > weighs over 200: +20 > educated: +10 > over-educated: -5 > crunchy granola, tree-hugger outdoorsy: -20 > vegetarian: -5 > makes killer bbq: +10 > wants me to be his cheap slut sex poodle: +10 > wants me to be one of his cheap slut sex poodles: -100 > reads: +20 > happy in his employment: +5 > confident: +20 \*\* Okay, lessee here: Blue eyes…+10 (John Travolta/Paul Newman blue) Nice to Everyone…+5 Masculine Hobbies…+10 (Sports nut, like to tinker with cars and around the house) Educated…+10 (At least partially. I was kicked out of college for accidentally setting a lizard on fire) BBQ…+10 (I don’t know about killer, but it’s good) Cheap Slut Sex Poodle…+10 Reads…+20 (All the time) Happily employed…+5 (Stand-up comic) Confident…+20 (Confiednt bordering on arrogant. I prefer cocky myself) I score 100! When’s the first round of Poodle Sex, you Cheap Slut? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/33 "2001-07-25T19:46:06Z")
Well, you can win it all with one fell swoop perhaps: Is The Lead Singer of a German Metal Band that rhymes with Mammstein: contest over, you win Otherwise: Is German: +3000 However, Is German in the way Helmut Kohl is German: -1,000 (you can keep 2,000 just for the accent) Smoker: +20 Smoker who isn’t really confident or good at smoking: -100 Green Eyes:+10 Brown Hair:+10 Crooked Lips (one thicker than the other, pouty, offset): +15 Severely Angled Jaw: +10 Swimmer: +75 Baseball Player: +20 Offensive Linebacker from New Mexico: +30 Sexual Dominant: +75 Taller than me (5’8"): +10 Sleeps in red satin pajama bottoms: +10 Drinker: +20 Powerful personality that would make other women jealous of me: +30 Asshole as a result: -40 Willing to pull my hair when he kisses me: +20 Bad kisser anyway:-40 Not too hard to accomplish. Jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/34 "2001-07-25T20:48:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SolarPhallusMan \* > **Is angry -5** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rachelle \* > **Angry -500** Yeah, I’ve heard that women like GAY men. (I crack myself up.) Then again, from this week’s [FreeWillAstrology:](http://www.freewillastrology.com/pages/scorpio.shtml) > [@](#): > > Members of the rock band Papa Roach say they do their best work in the recording studio when they’re in really bad moods. Steeped in irritation and angst and anger, they can transform their demons into creative helpers who deliver interesting goods in the form of high-energy songs. I recommend this approach for you … Of course if I were a successful rockstar I’d be happier, but (trust me) twice the a$$hole. I could, however, put up with absolutely anybody who could post this: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rachelle \* > Goatee +50 > Full Beard +25 > No facial hair +15 Rachelle, how _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/35 "2001-07-25T23:33:19Z")
clean clothing+50 clean hair+70 moustache, goatee, beard-50 thinks the President is great-50 tall+50 can play chess+50 likes rap-60 can cook+90 ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/36 "2001-07-26T02:19:11Z")
likes musicians: +50 Orioles fan: +50 wears sleveless tops: +50 glasses: +25 hates sports: -50 has tattoos or piercings: +25 each likes a man with a goatee: +50 smoker: +25 smokes Marlboro reds: +50 appreciates the beauty of draught beer: +50 considers rock music a lowly pastime: -100 ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/37 "2001-07-26T14:02:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eunoia \* > > I could, however, put up with absolutely anybody who could post this: > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Rachelle \* > > Goatee +50 > > Full Beard +25 > > No facial hair +15 > > Rachelle, how _you_ doin’? \*\* As long as I don’t get thigh burn, I’m happy. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/38 "2001-07-27T00:45:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Well, you can win it all with one fell swoop perhaps: > > Is The Lead Singer of a German Metal Band that rhymes with Mammstein: contest over, you win > > Otherwise: > > Is German: +3000 > However, Is German in the way Helmut Kohl is German: -1,000 > (you can keep 2,000 just for the accent) > > Smoker: +20 > Smoker who isn’t really confident or good at smoking: -100 > > Green Eyes:+10 > Brown Hair:+10 > Crooked Lips (one thicker than the other, pouty, offset): +15 > Severely Angled Jaw: +10 > > Swimmer: +75 > Baseball Player: +20 > Offensive Linebacker from New Mexico: +30 > > Sexual Dominant: +75 > Taller than me (5’8"): +10 > Sleeps in red satin pajama bottoms: +10 > Drinker: +20 > > Powerful personality that would make other women jealous of me: +30 > Asshole as a result: -40 > > Willing to pull my hair when he kisses me: +20 > Bad kisser anyway:-40 > > Not too hard to accomplish. > > Jarbaby \*\* Not a singer in any band but played a mean bass at one time. OK, spent 3 years in Germany. Speak Ami-Deutsch (the official language of American GIs in USAEUR/USAFE). How much for that? Non-filtered Camels for 15 years +20 (Deserves bonus points, IMO) Blue-Green Eyes, +10 Brown Hair, +10 (If you can convince me to quit shaving it) Pouty Lips, +15 Swimmer, +75 Offensive Line_man_, born in Dona Ana County +30 Sexually dominant +75 6’1" +10 Willing to sleep in red satin pajamas, if you insist on something at all +10 Nothing like a good German Bier +20 Strong Personality +30 Never been called an asshole, hope to never be I’m definitely a hair-puller +20 Good kisser? Only one way to find out 😉 325 plus whatever I get for the German thing. Damn. You’re scaring me. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/39 "2001-07-27T03:49:24Z")
Oohh I got some more Guys in cutoff t-shirts…+100 with jeans…+1000 And the ultimate turn on for me, (this description just happens to fit my boyfriend exactly!!!) …blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses, wearing a white cutoff t-shirt and jeans, talking about football with me while admitting that I know more than he ever will about the Tampa Bay Bucs…hehehe… ::::swoon:::: See, now I’m horny. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294/40 "2001-07-27T04:18:21Z")
Aaaahhhh!!! I almost forgot one!!! Deliciously toned muscles, particularly in the abdominal area, washboard stomach and such a beautiful body that I just want to eat him alive…+1,000,000 and as an added bonus, my heart. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexymeter/73294.md?page=3)