# Sexywriter: An Amazingly Good Newbie **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222 "2001-03-16T14:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/1 "2001-03-16T14:49:00Z")
I don’t usually start these things. I guess I’m kind of a sober-sided Sam at heart. But I just gotta say how impressed I am with one of our newest participants in the fun fest:Sexywriter. In addition to having an intriguing name (Hey, I’m in publishing and most of the writers _I_ see are old, boring men) her posts are intelligent, witty, and thought-provoking. Some examples: > [@](#): > > _Sexywriter in the ‘odd compliments’ thread_ > Another fave I got awhile back: > > “If I was looking for something purely physical, I’d go out with that pretty girl down the street. But I’d rather be with you because I want something more than physical right now.” > > Umm. Right. > [@](#): > > _Sexywriter in the 'Beware the Ides of March" thread that she started_ > > Hey, someone had to say it. > [@](#): > > _Sexywriter in the ‘old peoples clothes’ thread._ > Could it be that the elderly we’re talking about simply grew up in an era where it was unheard of to spend the kind of money new clothes cost today? I think many of them don’t look beyond the sale racks when they DO buy clothing and therefore don’t end up dressed in the latest fashions. They are also loathe to toss anything out if it’s still in good shape. It may be 27 years old, but it’s good as new and they see no reason to be wasteful. > > I go shopping with my grandmother on occasion and witness this. She pulls something off a rack and ONLY looks at the price tag. If it’s a good deal and seems high enough quality to suit her, she buys it. Consequently, in spite of this my grandmother generally looks GREAT! She leans a bit toward the polyester thing, but generally looks sort of “with it” for a 78 year old woman. > \ > As soon as I hit 55, I’m going to start wearing hats!! But then in the flake thread she says: > [@](#): > > _SW in response to Scylla’s question about flakes_ > I resemble that remark. Look, I’m not the sort to flirt because I’m married, mid-thirties, balding and kinda fat, but I’ve definitely put **Sexywriter** on my list of women that **I would try to woo with expensive gifts, trips to exotic locales, fine wine, and good food if I wasn’t married etc.** But instead I’ll just have to consider her as **One of the coolest newbies I’ve run into, as well as someone who can make me laugh and am proud to share the SDMB with.** I feel so silly doing this. But it just kinda overwhelmed me. Now I’m blushing. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/2 "2001-03-16T14:53:07Z")
I concur with the OP on all points except a reticence to flirt (come up and see me sometime, **SexyWriter** ). But **Jonathan Chance** , she’s not really a newbie. Check her “registered” date: she’s been here longer than either of us. She just sort of went crazy with the posting a couple of weeks ago. Not, naturally, that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/3 "2001-03-16T15:08:25Z")
You may be right about all that stuff, but I just like hearing her talk openly and shamelessly about her breasts. 😃 Is that wrong? ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/4 "2001-03-16T15:09:21Z")
I’ve heard it whispered that she’s not “really” a newbie. She’s been around awhile, infact…some think she’s Cecil’s mistress. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/5 "2001-03-16T15:11:38Z")
Hey, wow! My name in lights! How sweet of you. 🙂 I’m a single, 31-year-old woman. And while it’s true, I won’t date married men, I’m not opposed to being “wooed with expensive gifts.” The “exotic locales” part is especially attractive to a sexy writer. I’m sure your wife won’t miss a few thousand dollars from your retirement fund. You can always put it back later. It’s true, I read the message board all the time, but only recently had the overwhelming urge to post because of something in the “stereotyping the overweight” thread pushing my buttons. At that point, I realized that my time would be much better spent subjecting everyone here to my opinion than it is working. Thanks for the lovely compliments. I’m SO glad the first thread title mentioning my name didn’t end up in the Pit. No applause, just throw those expensive gifts. -L (Which stands for Laura, by the way.) ---
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/6 "2001-03-16T15:14:29Z")
Point of order: I put forth the motion that SW is the coolest chick on the boards. Do I hear a second? ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/7 "2001-03-16T15:16:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by QuickSilver \* > \*\*You may be right about all that stuff, but I just like hearing her talk openly and shamelessly about her breasts. 😃 > Is that wrong? \*\* Breasts? When did I say “breasts”? It’s **tits** dammit! One of my best features. -L ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/8 "2001-03-16T15:17:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dustMagnate \* > \*\*Point of order: I put forth the motion that SW is the coolest chick on the boards. Do I hear a second? \*\* No, no, NO! There are lots of chicks here, much cooler than I. Not to mention younger and more nubile. I don’t know a lot of them by name yet, but I’ve seen some awfully brilliant women with things to say here. Anyone want to introduce me to some of them? -L ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/9 "2001-03-16T15:22:33Z")
I too concur that SexyWriter is my fav new poster. Heck she is one of my favorite poster period. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > [B > Breasts? When did I say “breasts”? It’s **tits** dammit! > One of my best features. > > -L > > \*\* However dear this is the Straight Dope and you must back up you claims with cites. The photos you posted befor only showed your very cute face. We need proof that you tits are better than all other features. Personally I can’t belive that they are better than you wit. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/10 "2001-03-16T15:22:46Z")
Order to rescind nomination noted. It’s not a competition: blushing allowed. To the OP: good eye, man. ---
**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/11 "2001-03-16T15:23:58Z")
SexyWriter… Though you got cross at me thinking I called you a hoaxter, but I hope I made myself clear as to what I actually meant there. The sharing a bottle of whisky thing is still on, right? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/12 "2001-03-16T15:28:42Z")
What kind of expensive gifts are you interesting in? \ …flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep… [/disney voice\> And I love the name Laura. ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/13 "2001-03-16T15:30:08Z")
**Zebra** , I’m at work, otherwise, a photo would be on the way. **Watermellon Man,** drinks are on me. But we’d better be careful in the livingroom, lest we inadvertently signal the aliens and lead to the prolification of even MORE coffee table circles. **dustMagnate,** I AM blushing! Help! How do I cure it? I’ve never had people sort of line up to tell me NICE things before. Can I get you to all send me an e-mail once a day reminding me that I’m not ALWAYS a dork? ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/14 "2001-03-16T15:38:39Z")
notice how she delicately sidesteps the question I raised… ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/15 "2001-03-16T15:39:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*What kind of expensive gifts are you interesting in? > > \ > …flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep… > [/disney voice\> > > And I love the name Laura. \*\* Flowers and chocolate? No, no, emphatically no! I don’t think we’re operating on the same wavelength here. I was thinking more like jewelry and opera tickets. A trip to Iceland. Cars perhaps? (Jeez, maybe gas for my current guzzler would be more practical.) Oh, and I’d like a pony. I don’t mind my name either, but I find it to be obnoxiously common. Not only that, but there are all kinds of stupid songs with my name in them. Ever heard “Think of Laura” by Christopher Cross? That’ll make you change your mind about the name for sure. And **Watermelon Man** I hope you didn’t think I was seriously angry when you called me a hoaxter. I was laughing my head off and replying to you with sarcasm and (apparently ineffective) wit. My anger with you was only a joke. -L -L ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/16 "2001-03-16T15:41:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*notice how she delicately sidesteps the question I raised… \*\* I can’t discuss the matter in public. All comments will have to be off the record. You understand. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/17 "2001-03-16T15:46:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\*Flowers and chocolate? No, no, emphatically no! I don’t think we’re operating on the same wavelength here. > > I was thinking more like jewelry and opera tickets. A trip to Iceland. Cars perhaps? (Jeez, maybe gas for my current guzzler would be more practical.) > > Oh, and I’d like a pony. > \*\* A pony I can supply. Either a nice Arabian or a charging Clydesdale. Remember, now, I live on acres out in Virginia horsecountry. I myself, am prone to giving jewelry (mostly pearls, I love how women look in pearls). Any specific items? And a car? If I got you the pony, what more would you need? How about my guest house? Would that work? ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/18 "2001-03-16T16:01:35Z")
You can see under her name: Registered, Feb 2000. So we know how long she has been here. Also, she just wrote: "I’m SxyWriter2. ``` Get that? It's SxyWritER, not SxyWritING. No, I will not entertain you with erotic stories on line for free. My work is copyrighted material and I don't generally write erotica anyway. No, I will not send you a photo, nude or otherwise. No, I'm not interested in "hooking up." ``` Frankly, I don’t believe much about anyone until I meet them in person, at least that way I can verify they are real. ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/19 "2001-03-16T16:05:57Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* \*\* > [@](#): > > I myself, am prone to giving jewelry (mostly pearls, I love how women look in pearls). Any specific items? \*\* Yes, I’d like a tiara please. A very sparly one. \*\* > [@](#): > > And a car? If I got you the pony, what more would you need?\*\* Okay, you can just fill the gas tank in my big, stupid, V12. I finally got it UNSTUCK without being subjected to the condescending tow truck driver, in case anyone is \*\* > [@](#): > > How about my guest house? Would that work? \*\* Is there a jacuzzi in the guest house? If there is, the answer is yes. Oh, and can I have a cabana boy in the house? See if you can get Benjamin Bratt on that right away. Since you’re married and all 🙂 -L ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/20 "2001-03-16T16:10:20Z")
See, I just have to prove how dorky I can be in the midst of a herd of compliments. That was supposed to be a **sparkly** tiara. Also, that sentence that made no sense is supposed to end “…in case anyone is interested.” Jeez. -L [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222.md?page=2)