# Sexywriter: An Amazingly Good Newbie **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222 "2001-03-16T14:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/21 "2001-03-16T16:16:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*Frankly, I don’t believe much about anyone until I meet them in person, at least that way I can verify they are real. \*\* [squeezing tits] Yep. Real. Grew 'em myself. Your point, handy? -L ---
**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/22 "2001-03-16T16:29:40Z")
🙂 🙂 🙂 Misunderstanding a case of misunderstanding? Missing sarcasm while being drowned in self-irony… Oh Lord…Please don’t let me be Miss Understood 2001!!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/23 "2001-03-16T16:37:18Z")
:feeling, jealous, and unapreciated: Aren’t I witty? Aren’t I special? Haven’t I talked about my tits & nipples way too much? Aren’t I a published writer? Doesn’t anyone want to give me jewelry, trips to exotic locales, fine wine and good food? Don’t I want a friggin sparkly tiara? What am **I** ,_Chopped liver_? :flings self to the floor, sobbing hysterically: Nobody likes me since that quasi-new girl showed up. I might as well go sit in the mud and eat worms. :pouting: ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/24 "2001-03-16T16:39:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > … but I’ve definitely put SexyWriter on my list of women that I would try to woo with expensive gifts, trips to exotic locales, fine wine, and good food… Yeah, I know what you mean. A woman like that could ruin me. If I was lucky. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/25 "2001-03-16T16:39:39Z")
damn smilies even they mock me POUTING If she gets elected prom queen, I’m leaving. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/26 "2001-03-16T16:47:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > > \*\*Frankly, I don’t believe much about anyone until I meet them in person, at least that way I can verify they are real. \*\* > > [squeezing tits] Yep. Real. Grew 'em myself. > > Your point, handy? > > -L \*\* I think my head just exploded. I’m on the cabana boy thing. And I can afford a Jacuzzi. Oh yes I can. ---
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/27 "2001-03-16T16:58:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*:feeling, jealous, and unapreciated: > > Aren’t I witty? > Aren’t I special? > Haven’t I talked about my tits & nipples way too much? > Aren’t I a published writer? > Doesn’t anyone want to give me jewelry, trips to exotic locales, fine wine and good food? > Don’t I want a friggin sparkly tiara? > > What am **I** ,_Chopped liver_? > > :flings self to the floor, sobbing hysterically: > > Nobody likes me since that quasi-new girl showed up. > I might as well go sit in the mud and eat worms. > > :pouting: \*\* Six yesses, no, get up, not true, hope they taste good. You have value as a person 🙂 , there will be no elections in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/28 "2001-03-16T17:06:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*damn smilies even they mock me > > POUTING > > If she gets elected prom queen, I’m leaving. \*\* ::::::::smooooooochhhhhhhhhhhh::::::::::::: We wuv you, **Mermaid**!!! 🙂 Hey. Look for me tonight! I’ll try to IM you on AIM, if it’s okay with you. If it’s not, I won’t. (Saw your SN in the AIM thread.) dan ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/29 "2001-03-16T17:09:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*:feeling, jealous, and unapreciated: > > \ > > :flings self to the floor, sobbing hysterically: > > Nobody likes me since that quasi-new girl showed up. > I might as well go sit in the mud and eat worms. > > :pouting: \*\* No SHIT, Mermaid. Good God. Listen, I think you’re very sexy and witty. AND SO IS SexyWriter. So am I for that matter, so are a lot of chicks. But I see that we don’t get JACK for our hard work. Christ almighty in heaven with all of the angels, I offered to fly to New York and have sex with Sua yesterday, offered my undying slavery to Coldfire, Bashere, Cervaise and Infraggable Krunk AND started a frigging thread about waxing my hoo-ha so I could more closely resemble a porn star! Doesn’t that count for anything around here? Sheesh. :: stomping off to come up with something sexy to post :: jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/30 "2001-03-16T17:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\*[Yes, I’d like a tiara please. A very sparkly one. > -L \*\* I gave my wife a sparkly tiara for Christmas! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/31 "2001-03-16T17:15:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **Doesn’t that count for anything around here?** Of course it does! Puts you on my list of Dopers I’d like to [profanity deleted]! dan ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/32 "2001-03-16T17:28:23Z")
Goodness, gracious, has this devolved into a pouty diva thread?? Must you demand notice? Must you shriek so? Must you cheapen yourselves just to get a little attention from a bunch of testosterone-poisoned flirts? I am speechless. AND ashamed for all of you. I’m at a loss… I’ll just be sitting over here awaiting my long-overdue adulation. Not that I _need_ it, mind you, but I recognize that some poor pathetic men need to validate themselves by vying for the acknowledgement of the unattainable woman. ---
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/33 "2001-03-16T18:12:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*\ > … I recognize that some poor pathetic men need to validate themselves by vying for the acknowledgement of the unattainable woman. > > \*\* Pathetic man here, vying. (t-poisoned flirts: **OUCH** ) ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/34 "2001-03-16T18:27:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **I’ll just be sitting over here awaiting my long-overdue adulation. Not that I _need_ it, mind you, but I recognize that some poor pathetic men need to validate themselves by vying for the acknowledgement of the unattainable woman.** Well, I certainly hadn’t intended it that way. And FCM, I already called you a quality woman in that other thread. The one about ‘When do you get up’. All women are for praising. I freely acknowledge that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/35 "2001-03-16T18:45:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Goodness, gracious, has this devolved into a pouty diva thread?? Must you demand notice? Must you shriek so? Must you cheapen yourselves just to get a little attention from a bunch of testosterone-poisoned flirts? I am speechless. AND ashamed for all of you. I’m at a loss… > > \*\* Yes to all the above, for although I might talk a good game I am really just vain, needy and have very low self-esteem (anybody wanna see my new nip…) sorry. I’m weak too. FairyChatMom I bow to your quiet dignity, wisdom and grace. I am so ashamed. Please teach me how I can stop behaving like a self-obsessed adolescent. I _shouldn’t_ care if someone gets more attention than I but I still do. I promise I will try to remain aloof and appear unattainable. That’ll show em. No I guess that’s not the right attitude either is it? 😉 Yours, The (pouting)Mermaid—you know I kinda like the sound of that. BTW I _was_ kidding. IRL I am the most _un_divalike person imaginable. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/36 "2001-03-16T19:10:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > > Of course it does! Puts you on my list of Dopers I’d like to [profanity deleted]! Well then! NOW we’re talking. Hey, I don’t care much about intellectual pursuits. That’s an arena I can’t even get a ticket to. This board has quickly taught me that I don’t know much ‘bout thinkin’ sports…but I simply will not rest until I’m on EVERYONE’S [Profanity] List! jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/37 "2001-03-16T19:33:31Z")
Oh, [expletive]! Looks like I put a [expletive deleted] filter on this [expletive deleted and ripped up] thing. Can you believe it? [Profane tirade deleted]! I mean of ALL the nasty, lowdown, [expletive made to choose AOL as its ISP] things to do… why, I oughta take that [expletive fed milk past its expiration date]program and tell it to [hideously offensive phrase] my [unnatural act]! And then I’ll tell it’s mommy on it! [expletive] ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/38 "2001-03-16T19:41:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*Yes to all the above, for although I might talk a good game I am really just vain, needy and have very low self-esteem (anybody wanna see my new nip…) sorry. I’m weak too. > > \ > > I promise I will try to remain aloof and appear unattainable. > > \ > > Yours, The (pouting)Mermaid—you know I kinda like the sound of that.\*\* **I** wanna see yer new nip! Is the nip attainable at least? And I ADORE pouting Mermaids. Now how about some sugar, you sweet thang, you! ( **SexyWriter,** nice website, are you nekkid in that one shot?) :waits to watch **SexyWriter’s** hit counter go crazy: ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/39 "2001-03-16T19:45:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*Please teach me how I can stop behaving like a self-obsessed adolescent. \*\* I fear, my dear **pouting Mermaid** , that this would be a case of the blind leading the blind. Didn’t you notice how subtly I sat here holding my breath till I turned blue? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Jonathan Chance_ > \*\*…And FCM, I already called you a quality woman in that other thread. … \*\* Yes, I know, but what have you done for me lately?? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by dustMagnate_ > \*\*Pathetic man here, vying. > > (t-poisoned flirts: OUCH)\*\* That was pretty cold of me, wasn’t it…? Disclaimer: It’s been a long week and I’m on the tail end of a cold and my parents are coming in tonight for a visit. I’m ashamed of myself for taking it out on everyone in this and any other thread where I might have lost it. Well, maybe not ashamed, exactly… no real remorse or anything… Just ignore me - I’ll get over it… eventually… Don’t let my sobbing disturb you… \ ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222/40 "2001-03-16T19:53:50Z")
Incidentally, to address the OP, I look forward to reading the various and sundry posts by **SexyWriter** – Ever a delight! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sexywriter-an-amazingly-good-newbie/58222.md?page=3)