# Shag, Marry, or Shove Off a Cliff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2001, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215 "2001-12-06T13:56:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/41 "2001-12-06T17:44:46Z")
Judd Nelson - Throw off a cliff Andrew McCarthy - marry James Spader - shag Next: Kermit Fozzy Bear Gonzo ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/42 "2001-12-06T18:00:51Z")
Kermit Fozzy Bear Gonzo Shag: Gonzo…I mean with that nose who knows what’s down below–althoug doesn’t he have a chicken fetish? Marry: Fozzy…bad jokes and all–he’s snuggly soft! Cliff: Kermy…throw you over that rainbow–you smell like pork 😛 Homer Bart (assume he’s legal) Mo ---
**Author:** ![greenlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@greenlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenlady)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/43 "2001-12-06T18:08:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \* > > The Rock > Jesse Ventura > Chyna \*\* Oh, goody… The ROCK - marry definitely Jesse Ventura - shag Chyna - off the cliff only 'cause I’m not gay. Madonna Britney Spears Christine Aguilera ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/44 "2001-12-06T18:14:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\*Albert Einstein > Carl Sagan > Cecil Adams \*\* Assuming they were _all_ alive, I’d boot Carl off the cliff, but I’d feel bad about it. I’d shag Cecil (oh, and wouldn’t I just be the cat’s meow around _here_ then), and then I’d marry Albert. Han Solo Obi Wan (Ewan McGregor) Qui-Gon Jinn ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/45 "2001-12-06T19:02:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by greenlady \* > \*\* > Madonna > Britney Spears > Christine Aguilera \*\* Too easy. Shag Britney, marry Christina, and push Madonna, then bring her back and push her again. Next: Moe Larry Curly ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/46 "2001-12-06T19:17:13Z")
Obi Wan (Ewan): Shag, but would do Alec Guinness innaminit. Han Solo: Marry. Fine Buddhist booty. Qui-Gon Jinn: _punt_ Jack Kerouac William Burroughs Alan Ginsburg ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/47 "2001-12-06T20:04:07Z")
Can we get some bisexual women in here to list some women after shagging, marrying, and shoving all these guys? Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/48 "2001-12-06T20:54:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elelle \* > **Qui-Gon Jinn: _punt_** ::runs in just in time to save the delicious Qui-Gon from going over the side of the cliff:: What in the HELL are you doing? Are you INSANE??? ::brushes off Qui-Gon and runs off into the sunset with him:: Oh, but before I go, just for **Ethilrist** … Madonna… geez. Even though I know _exactly_ where she’s been, I guess shag by default. Britney Spears… cliff. Christine Aguilera… pre scary-ass-ho from Lady Marmalade, marry. Catherine Zeta-Jones… shag. Salma Hayek… marry. Penelope Cruz… off she goes. Holly Hunter… shag. Andie MacDowell… marry. Julia Roberts… the laugh would get to me. And all those _teeth_. Cliff. Rosie O’Donnell… CLIFF. Ellen Degeneres… shag. Margaret Cho… marry. Okay… Willow, Buffy, or Anya? (the CHARACTERS, not the actresses) ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/49 "2001-12-06T21:13:11Z")
Shag Buffy, marry Willow, boot Anya by default. Okay…John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson? ---
**Author:** ![Leifsmama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@Leifsmama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leifsmama)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/50 "2001-12-06T22:43:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\* > > Steve Martin > Chevy Chase > Steven Wright \*\* Shag Chevy Marry Steve Martin Steven Wright-CLIFF would he even scream? Martha Stewart Julia Childs Madeline Kamman ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/51 "2001-12-06T22:59:52Z")
Hijack of Shame bobkitty, I wavered from putting “by default”. I honestly don’t know what he looks like. But by your response, I wanna. End Hijack of Shame ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/52 "2001-12-06T23:13:54Z")
Julia Child: Shag (Maybe she’ll bring her rolling pin) Madeline Kamman: Marry! Martha Stewart: Go to lovely limestone cliff with mountain laurel in springtime bloom. Set Martha delicately on edge, aligned with cliff face, making sure not to bruise or muss hair. Don handmade needlepoint slipper. Kick her firmly in the derriere. If you time the kick correctly, she should plunge to a grisly death. Garnish corpse with ivy. Next: George Washington Thomas Jefferson Benjamin Franklin ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/53 "2001-12-07T00:52:07Z")
George Washington: Marry Thomas Jefferson: Shag Benjamin Franklin: Off the cliff I’d also just like to say that I want to take Captain Archer and put him in a box and hug him and squeeze him and love him… For those who prefer males: O.J. Simpson Gary Condit Bill Clinton and for those who prefer females: Hillary Clinton Janet Reno Madeleine Albright ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/54 "2001-12-07T02:13:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\*Marry Aragorn > Shag Legolas > Sorry Frodo… > \*\* > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by katiekilldare \*\*\* > I’d shag Aragorn, marry Legolas, and cry cry cry as I booted little Frodo off the cliff._\* > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by bobkitty \*\*\* > Shag Aragorn, marry Legolas, and Frodo gets booted by default_\* You all make baby Jesus cry ☹ Steven ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/55 "2001-12-07T02:19:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpoilerVirgin \* > \*\* > and for those who prefer females: > > Hillary Clinton > Janet Reno > Madeleine Albright \*\* If these are my choices for females, I think I’ll take the males. O.J. Simpson - Cliff. Someone has to do it. Gary Condit - Shag Bill Clinton - Marry, but “It wasn’t an affair as I understood the question.” Here are mine, and I expect responses from all you nassty cruel people who booted Frodo ☹ La La Tinky-Winky Dipsy Steven ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/56 "2001-12-07T02:24:45Z")
Well this game ain’t fair (some of us can’t marry), but carrying on with the Buffy theme, we can suggest: Spike Giles Xander ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/57 "2001-12-07T03:20:44Z")
Spike - shag (rowr) Giles - marry (in a heartbeat) Xander - boot off, but it’d be one of the hardest things I’d ever done Gene Simmons Tommy Lee Sammy Hagar ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/58 "2001-12-07T06:40:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rosebud \* > \*\* > > Next set: > Stephen King > Robert Jordan > Tom Wolfe \*\* this one got missed 🙂 Robert Jordan goes off the cliff – that’ll learn the bastard to torture his readers. Damn. I don’t want to shag or marry Wolfe or King. I just wanted to kill Jordan. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215/59 "2001-12-07T07:10:56Z")
All the buff Buffy guys– Shag - Spike Marry - Giles Cliff - Zander (Dammit!) And then shag Spike again And then shag Spike again And then shag Spike again And then go home to Giles… Alice Cooper Rob Zombie Marilyn Manson If that lot don’t scare ya, nothin’ will! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shag-marry-or-shove-off-a-cliff/97215.md?page=2)