# Shaggy-dog stories ending in puns **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 20, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326 "2005-07-20T18:49:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/21 "2005-07-20T20:51:01Z")
The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/22 "2005-07-20T20:51:11Z")
Oppornockity tunes but once Bee wares of the Isedom Arch seizer Yeast is yeast and jest is jest but never the main shall tweet Boyfoot bear with teaks of Chan ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/23 "2005-07-20T21:01:20Z")
If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s chess nuts boasting on an open foyer. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/24 "2005-07-20T21:05:18Z")
Everyone knows the koala tea of Mercy is not strained. (Guy is in Mercy Hospital in Australia. Asks for a cup of tea. The only tea they have is made from koala fur. It has crud floating in it, and he asks them to put it through a strainer. The nurse indignantly replies as above.) ---
**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/25 "2005-07-20T22:00:29Z")
Surprised I’m the first to mention this one: “Oh, didn’t you know? I’m a poor conductor.” Let me know if you need to story. ---
**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/26 "2005-07-20T23:31:27Z")
> [@Roadfood](#): > > Let me know if you need to story. :smack: _the_ story, let me know if you need _the_ story. I can make it really long . . . ---
**Author:** ![Fritz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c57346/32.png) [@Fritz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fritz)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/27 "2005-07-21T00:06:42Z")
“If the Foo shits, wear it.” ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/28 "2005-07-21T00:33:38Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > It’s a long way to tip a Rary. This was going to be mine, but I suppose “Do Ruby Begonia ring a bell?” would count…it _is_ a form of 'pun’ishment, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Blind\_Guardian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df705f/32.png) [@Blind\_Guardian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blind_Guardian)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/29 "2005-07-21T00:38:07Z")
“I’ve come to seize the berry, not to praise it.” ---
**Author:** ![Blake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@Blake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blake)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/30 "2005-07-21T00:41:00Z")
“He realised he’d struck a happy medium”. ---
**Author:** ![hanna\_the\_curious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/34f0e0/32.png) [@hanna\_the\_curious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hanna_the_curious)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/31 "2005-07-21T00:45:33Z")
“A Benny shaved is a Benny urned” ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/32 "2005-07-21T00:46:15Z")
People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones It’s a rumbling rack from George’s attack and an elephant engineer! And that’s the way it ends; no Huns, no Brits, no Eros and Nun on base… ---
**Author:** ![Baggins111](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@Baggins111](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baggins111)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/33 "2005-07-21T02:42:45Z")
Butcher right arm in, butcher right arm out… ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/34 "2005-07-21T03:00:20Z")
“Hey, Hugh–get off of McCloud!” “Watt’s course for Ragusa’s a course for Uganda!” ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/35 "2005-07-21T04:26:26Z")
Poof! You’re a malted. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/36 "2005-07-21T04:31:08Z")
“Everyone know you can’t put Descartes before the horse!” ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/37 "2005-07-21T04:40:41Z")
I actually wrote one in high school, inspired by Asimov. “A stoning roll mosses no gatherings.” ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/38 "2005-07-21T05:02:58Z")
I have a crossword puzzle book that has a bunch of these things in it. I groan repeatedly as I solve the puzzles. I do have a question. This one “Pardon me Roy, Is that the cat who chewed your new shoes” is in it and I don’t get it. Someone help me out please? I’ve even said it aloud a few times and I still don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/39 "2005-07-21T05:12:48Z")
“This is the beer that made Mill Famey walk us!” (Said by the ballplayer describing his ingenious plan to win the game by getting the other team’s star pitcher drunk.) ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/40 "2005-07-21T05:14:31Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I have a crossword puzzle book that has a bunch of these things in it. I groan repeatedly as I solve the puzzles. I do have a question. This one > > “Pardon me Roy, Is that the cat who chewed your new shoes” > > is in it and I don’t get it. Someone help me out please? I’ve even said it aloud a few times and I still don’t get it. I just realized the answer after submitting my previous post. It’s a riff on “Is that the Chattanooga Choo-Choo?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326.md?page=3)