# Shaggy-dog stories ending in puns **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 20, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326 "2005-07-20T18:49:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/61 "2005-07-22T02:30:46Z")
Couple I read in _Games_ magazine a long time ago: Wine gourd, torn, deceives an otter. They have nothing, Toulouse, but their jeans. Burghers count beach-users. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/62 "2005-07-22T07:02:22Z")
“I left my harp in Sam Frank’s disco!” “Now that you mention it, it was just a trifle bazaar!” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/63 "2005-07-22T11:54:00Z")
“The son never sits on a brutish umpire.” ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/64 "2005-07-22T16:09:53Z")
“Ah, sweet Mr. Rhee of _Life_, at last I’ve found thee!” “The reign was called on account of game.” ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/65 "2011-01-02T18:59:31Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > Couple I read in _Games_ magazine a long time ago: > > Wine gourd, torn, deceives an otter. > They have nothing, Toulouse, but their jeans. > Burghers count beach-users. I know I’m five years too late to note this, but that Games magazine article was about the “My Word!” program mentioned in posts #14 and #17. You forgot: “Florence, Night In Gale: Or, The Laddie With The Lump” (a man enters an art competition, but opinions vary over what he was trying to depict) Also, Games magazine had a competition for short-form jokes with punny endings as well. I remember a couple of the punchlines were “Do you cache Czechs here?” and “Thou shalt not commit a Daltrey”. (Rarr, rarr, zombies. Yes, I get it.) ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/66 "2012-04-11T17:48:41Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > “This is the beer that made Mill Famey walk us!” > > (Said by the ballplayer describing his ingenious plan to win the game by getting the other team’s star pitcher drunk.) Minor hijack since this one was about beer: My Dad used to say the reason he didn’t like Falstaff beer was because it tasted like [Papa Joe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Griesedieck_Brothers_beer) dipped his greasy dick into every can. Thanks Quasi ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/67 "2012-04-11T22:17:02Z")
> [@Dr.Rieux](#): > > “Hey, Hugh–get off of McCloud!” > “Watt’s course for Ragusa’s a course for Uganda!” Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/68 "2012-04-11T22:17:38Z")
“Gentlemen! Have you no Holmes to go to?” “Big world.” “I like a man who sticks to his principals.” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/69 "2012-04-11T22:33:25Z")
“I\* told \*you if you didn’t stop smokin’ those ziggurats they were bound to kill you.” ---
**Author:** ![Doubting\_Robert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e495f1/32.png) [@Doubting\_Robert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doubting_Robert)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/70 "2012-04-12T05:47:39Z")
Many, many, many years ago, the Miles Kimball of Oskosh catalogs had jokes or other items of interest in the upper corners of every third or fourth page. One catalog had rhyming shaggy dog stories. Previous posts have hit most of the ones I remember, sometimes in slightly different versions. (I loved that particular catalog, and memorized as many of the stories as I could.) Here’s one no one has posted: Never change streams in the middle of a horse. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/71 "2012-04-12T07:53:07Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > “I\* told \*you if you didn’t stop smokin’ those ziggurats they were bound to kill you.” The Searching General has determined that Zigurat smoking is hazardous to your stealth. ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/72 "2012-04-12T09:21:17Z")
“You can lead the whores to Walter, but you can’t make 'em shrink” ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/73 "2012-04-12T09:51:06Z")
The Buddha Pest Rink War Tete. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/74 "2012-04-12T11:26:54Z")
> [@Dr.Rieux](#): > > “Hey, Hugh–get off of McCloud!” Or, if you’re in Scotland, “hey, McCloud–get off of my ewe!” ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/75 "2012-04-12T11:54:19Z")
Thyme untied weighed for gnome Anne. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/76 "2012-04-12T11:54:35Z")
Abcess makes the fart go “Honda”. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/77 "2012-04-12T13:09:02Z")
That’s the first time I’ve ever seen carp-to-carp walleting! ---
**Author:** ![Raza](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raza/32/213_2.png) [@Raza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raza)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/78 "2012-04-12T13:37:31Z")
“The Czech is in the male”. I can’t believe how many of these I’ve long-forgotten, having heard most of them in the mid-70s. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/79 "2012-04-12T15:28:09Z")
No tern was left unstoned. “That’s s knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan.” Mediterranean Flute Fry. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326/80 "2012-04-12T19:55:16Z")
And so Two Dogs became the first Indian to wire a head for a reservation. Two Dogs is an electrician [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/shaggy-dog-stories-ending-in-puns/313326.md?page=5)